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ao3: if_the_stars_fall. fic blog of @impossiblyodd. original work and fic recs.

[mutinsfromthemoon]

a short au idea where shane goes to visit his girlfriend by surprise because he was on a work trip and when he knocks on her door it takes a while to swing open, and when it finally does he’s face to face with a half-naked man he’s never seen before and his girlfriend appears behind him and turns all apologetic and starts crying when she notices shane at the door and starts saying it’s not what it looks like and begging for forgiveness, but shane just stands there barely listening, only having eyes for the guy who’s leaning against the doorframe looking completely unbothered, smirking like he’s actually enjoying the whole scene, and it makes shane so mad, so he pulls his hand away from his ex’s grip, breaks up with her, and leaves. he goes straight to his car but doesn’t turn the engine on, just leans his forehead against the steering wheel and stays there for like fifteen minutes, until he hears someone knock on his window and looks up and it’s the guy, so he rolls the window down and snaps “what do you want?”and the guy goes “i didn’t know she had a boyfriend” and shane’s like “so what?” and the guy, smirking just like before, goes “if i knew she had a boyfriend who looked like you, i would’ve been chasing you instead of her” and shane’s thinking this situation is absurd (and secretly pleased) and just asks “what the fuck is your problem?” and the guy goes “my problem is that i clearly chose the wrong one, now you can help me correct it, right?” and he winks at shane, who just flips him off, rolls up the window, and drives away. later shane is at a bar telling what happened to his friends when someone slides into the booth next to him and it’s the guy and his friend rose goes “shane, this is ilya, he’s the guy i met at the painting class and was telling you that you two would be great friends” and shane is sitting there horrified and speechless while ilya gives him that same satisfied smirk and goes “oh shane, we’re definitely going to be GREAT friends” and now shane is truly fucked

[hardlyhinged]

I don’t know shit about fraternities but hollanov frat au where Shane is being pressured to join with Hayden but is reluctant because while he doesn’t know much, he knows the reputation they have for being nonstop party houses that constantly get into trouble but also isn’t entirely against it because at his core Shane is a deeply isolated and lonely person. He eventually agrees to check it out under the promise that they’ll pick one that won’t interfere with hockey or his related scholarship.

They rush one of the frats a few of the other hockey players are at and despite his initial nerves, Shane is actually growing really fond of the brotherly/ team based dynamics and how effortlessly close everyone is with each other. A few of the guys even joke around with him and seem to genuinely listen when he starts rambling about puck. It makes him feel normal in a way he hasn’t felt in so long, so he finally decides to go all in and give it a real shot. The really hot guy he’s been staring at from across the room for the past week has nothing to do with it. Of course. even if he heart was doing a weird little fluttering thing when he thought he saw him looking back

Shane is admittedly more than a little excited when he’s accepted as a new pledge, wondering if he should wear his suit for his first day, but decides against it since it’ll effectively be a moving day with a party that night. His heart feels so light when he arrives and people are literally cheering as him and the other pledges walk through the front door. He accepts the celebratory shot and hides his grimace the best he can as the rest of the frat gives what Shane can only compare to a pregame hype speech. He doesn’t think his smile dropped once, and maybe went a little wider when he first heard the attractive man from earlier, Ilya, speak in a deep accented voice and stare at Shane for a beat longer than the rest.

Moving doesn’t take long with so many guys using the numerous boxes to create an impromptu strength challenge. Shane is laughing watching guys wobble up the stairs with boxes stacked well past their field of view when he feels eyes on the back of his neck. Turning, he finds Ilya leaning against his stuff, staring at more than just his face, and with a lazy smile says “you need help?” It doesn’t sound like much of a question but Shane nods anyways, throat suddenly dry, and watches as Ilya picks up his heaviest box, shoulders and back muscles flexing under his tank, striding past Shane into the house like he wasn’t hauling 70 pounds of text books. Ilya looks back with a smirk at Shane still frozen and place. “Coming?” he winks, and Shane scrambles to grab a box of his own and follow, decidedly ignoring the potential double entendre that surly wasn’t on purpose.

They continue on in relative silence, the chaos of the rest of the house plus the steady exertion filling most of the potential space conversation may have taken up, though it doesn’t stop the playful bumps or the unspoken race up the stairs. Shane assumes once he’s all moved in Ilya will be off to help another person, but instead he lingers in the doorway, watching Shane meticulously organize his belongings. “So particular, may be only clean room in house.” Ilya grins as Shane refolds a few clothes that got rumpled in the move. “It’s literally filled with boxes how is this clean?” “Cleaner than mine.” “I don’t think I wanna know.” “You sure?” And Shane goes a little flush but before he can retort Ilya is getting yelled at from down the hall and gives a dramatic groan before wiggling his finger in a goodbye and rolling off Shane’s door frame.

They don’t cross paths again until later that night, loud music filling the house with an even louder group of sorority girls thrown into the mix. Shane’s been trying to have fun but after a full day of moving and socializing he’s more than a little beat, but there’s no way he could sleep like this, so he tries his best to smile and keep people from seeing his cup is full of just straight water. A familiar bump on his shoulder settles something inside, smiling before he even turns his head, it feeling a little less forced with Ilya standing next to him now. Conversation is a little hard over the music but they manage an easy back and forth about hockey (both on a similar scholarship), cars (“-but they’re not even fuel efficient” “they’re sexy” “…it’s a car.” “you are so boring”), girls kinda (“you do not have type?” “no? Just… hot, I guess?” “hmm… blond?” “…sure.”), and a few things in between. They don’t comment on the bumps that linger or the way Shane copies Ilya’s lean into each other’s space.

It’s when Ilya asks him if he’s ready though that gives Shane pause. It’s fairly innocuous, and he feels more than ready to start the semester and get to know his new fraternity, but it’s the fact he’s been asked this question six times tonight that really makes him think he’s missing something. Ilya picks up on his growing confusion, and Shane thinks he hears the word hell(?) drowned out by the deafening base, but before he can ask any questions their conversation is cut short by an overzealous keg stand that ends with a guy slamming through the thin pine coffee table next to them, Shane jumping back into hands that pull securely over his waist, separating slowly with the fading shock. Most things get derailed after that and the party winds down as people are forced back into being at least responsible enough to make sure the dude can walk and get the splintered mess out of the center of the living room.

Cleanup surprisingly goes pretty quickly, and with the music finally turned off Shane feels the exhaustion seep deep into his bones and takes the first opportunity he can to get back to his room.

Shane lays down and finally gets to go to sleep.

Only to be suddenly awoken a few hours later by a masked man covering his mouth with duct tape and binding his hands together. Panic floods his system and he tries to fight the guy off but he’s at a disadvantage laying down and the man is pining him with his full body weight. He tries screaming but the hand is back again pushing hard and muffling the noise to almost nothing. He shakes his head back and forth, eyes shut tight but that doesn’t stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks, terror gripping his core. His distantly aware he’s hyperventilating.

And then, just as quickly as it started, it softens. The hand pulls back, replaced by two gently cupping the sides of his face. It takes a moment to realize words are being said and Shane opens his eyes to see the blurry image of the intruder still straddled above him, but now unmasked, a halo of messy blond curls framing his face. The familiarity is enough to dampen the horror of the situation into a confused panic, which thankfully dulls the rushing sounds in his ears to finally hear what Ilya is saying.

It’s a combination of shushing and apologizes and begging Shane not to scream as he gingerly pulls the tape from his mouth. Shane takes a heaving breath, then another, and realize he can’t stop. Ilya takes his hands and struggles to get the twisted tape to come free, all while trying to get Shane to follow his breathing. But Shane can’t, he’s so confused and scared and needs something to hold onto. His questions only come out in one word gasps. “What?” “Why?” “You?” “Happening?” “Why?” “You?” “Why?”

Ilya gives up on the tape and presses hard on Shane’s chest then lets up, only to repeat the movement a few seconds later. “Breathe Hollander, please. Breathe.” There’s a loud shuffling outside his door but Shane does his best to follow, especially after the room starts to spin a little. “Sorry. I am sorry. Is supposed to be scary but not… not that much.” Shane looks up at him like he’s insane. “What- what are you talking about?! Why did you do this?!” he gets out, only needing to interrupt himself twice to clear the spots from his vision. Another loud scuffle from outside the door. Ilya lessens the pressure on his chest and sits back on Shane’s thighs, his turn to be confused. “Initiation. Hazing ritual.” Ilya supplies bluntly, as if it explains everything. Shane just stares. “You did not know?”

This time the outside banging hits the door directly with two loud knock. “Two minutes!” a voice yells and Ilya is quickly turning back to Shane, a pained expression on his features. “We have to go. Now.” “Go? Go where!?” “I can not tell you, is secret, but is only first day, will not be too bad.” “First day? Ilya please what is happening!” And Shane thinks he might start crying again. “Hazing ritual. You have to if you want to be in fraternity. We all have done it, I did it, it is…” Ilya waves his hand in the air, looking up then snapping. “Tradition! You will be okay.” “Wait so if I don’t let you kidnap me I get kicked out?” “Yes but it is fine, you are strong, I will be with you and make sure you succeed, but plan will not work if we do not leave now.”

Shane doesn’t think much before the tape is being placed back over his mouth, marginally less sticky and when Ilya pulls his bound wrist Shane only resists for a second before following. As they reach the door Ilya looks back at Shane in only his briefs and quickly drops his hands to move over to his dresser. Shane stares as Ilya open the drawer he watched Shane put his sweat pants into earlier and pulls out a thick grey pair. He rushes back, kneeling to get Shane’s legs in the proper holes and pulls them up. Shane wishes he could bash his head into the wall to disperse the flood of thoughts that just entered his mind from seeing Ilya kneeling in front of him, too mortified by his own reaction to catch a similar blush mirror his own.

Ilya stands with a now clenched jaw, gives Shane a nod, and twists the door handle open. And then immediately shuts it after two inches of hall light enters the room. “Blyat. Okay. One more thing.” Ilya grabs at something tucked into his back pocket. It’s a bag. Shane gives him his most incredulous look. “Yes yes, I know. But is mandatory. Think of it as sexy game.” Ilya wiggles his eyebrows and Shane kinda wants to strangle him. He’s grateful for the return to seriousness a moment later. “Is okay, I will be with you, protect you from anything bad, okay?” And Shane hated that he was being asked, like he had any real options, but still he nodded and the dark hood was placed over his head. Before he even had a moment to stress the strong grip was back on his arm, giving two squeezes and staying put.

Shane could hear the door opening, felt the rush of cooler air on his skin, grateful to be at least half clothed. He walked slowly, following Ilya’s lead and gentle guidance down the stairs. The voices got louder until they were at the bottom and someone shouted from outside the open front door. “Rozanov! What took you so long?” Shane tensed, worried what would happen when they knew Shane had a panic attack and needed to be calmed down in order to not pass out. Would that disqualify him? Logically, probably not, but it would make these people that he hoped to connect with look at him differently. Weirdly. Wrong. Maybe he should’ve just quit, save himself from being the the freak again. Fuck, this sucked, and just when he started to feel like maybe he could belong- “He is strong hockey player, put up one hell of a fight.” Two squeezes, Shane let out an almost painful breath. “And whose fault is that? Should’ve picked one of the smaller guys.” “Shut your face, he would’ve killed you.”

Something complicated happens in Shane’s chest again but he pushes it to the wayside as he’s guided out the front door by whispers only he can hear. “Three steps. Slight left. Curb. Five steps. Car door to your right. I will be in passenger seat in front of you, fifteen minutes.” Ilya gently guides Shane’s head as he’s lowered into a car, his opposite thigh pressing against another person as a seat belt is awkwardly buckled across his still bound arms. This cannot be safe. The car door shuts and a moment later another door in front opens and slams closed quickly. A conversation in front begins, something about having fun with the new meat, but Shane is focused on the fingers that’ve slid between the side of the seat and door to brush against his knee. After a few minutes Shane realizes the taps give a silent countdown, and after each one Shane starts pressing back, two nudges.

Three taps, two taps, one tap, then a circular o and the car comes to a stop. Ilya’s is out of the car almost before it stops moving and a second later Shane’s door opens, arm reaching around to unbuckle him and pull him out. Shane stumbles as he misses the step, suddenly landing onto wet dirt, not quite mud yet, under his feet. Ilya catches him easily, holding him tightly for a few second. “Still okay?” he whispers and Shane nods against his shoulder, leaning in a little further than necessary before straightening back up.

The whispered instructions are harder to follow now and Shane finds that Ilya is much closer as he tells him to step over a root or avoid a pointed rock. Shane can hear the fire before he feels its heat, and at this distance can make out its light bleeding through threads of the bag. He’s stopped facing the light and gets one last whisper, “right behind you”, with two squeezes and then he’s alone with nothing but the sounds of people being pushed into some sort of arrangement and the ever present sounds of collage boys making animal (ape?) sounds all around him.

Shane takes the moment to reevaluate his choices up to this point and wonder if this, whatever the hell this was, was worth it. Was he seriously so lonely he was gonna put up with multiple days of This. Was he seriously so horny he was gonna put up with multiple days of This. Shane didn’t love that his body answered by planting his feet more firmly.

He must’ve been having his silent identity crisis too loudly though because he feels a small rock hit his back, then another when his breath hitches. He wishes he could glare at that smug face he knew was behind him right now. Instead he kicks back his heel against a small rock sending it flying somewhere behind him and bites his cheek when the action earns him a light chuckle.

Shane thinks about doing it again when all of a sudden the bag is ripped from his head and he’s momentarily blinded, wincing from the light of the bonfire in front of him. He takes a second to look around at what seems to be a large campsite. A scattering of trees, a fire pit filled with way too much wood, and a few collapsible tables that Shane was certain were the ones used for beer pong a few hours prior. The fraternity president is standing on a large bolder wearing some sort of hooded robe and wielding… a staff? Honestly Shane was starting to feel a little ridiculous for ever being scared. The president started on his dramatic monologue and Shane took one last look around to see that out of all the other pledges circled around the fire he was one of the only ones wearing pants.

Shane turned his head back a bit and saw Ilya still stood behind him, smirking when they made eye contact. He couldn’t help smiling in return as he turned back around, though he wasn’t really listening to the rambling of a twenty something year old on a power trip. The fire did its job of warming his bare chest, though his back felt uniquely cold, lacking pressure. If Ilya was really in charge of him, shane thought, it would only make sence if he was closer. For saftey, of course. It was the woods after all, anything could happen. Like righ now, with the president pulling out a gun.

Never mind Shane is fully terrified again. Adrenalin whips his head around and sees the entire outer cicle similarly armed. Holy shit he’s going to die in the woods surrounded by insane college boys who somehow have access to a frightening large arsenal of… oh those are paintball guns. Okay, not going to die, crisis averted. Holy shit Shane does NOT want to get shot with a paintball gun.

The energy has definitely shifted and Shane is listening intensely to the words being spoken now. Something about a hunt, endurance and survival, ancestral instincts (whatever the fuck that means) but it really sounds like the ramblings of someone trying to justify shooting at a bunch of defenseless half naked barely adults with paintball guns in the woods at night. Awesome. Breathing is getting hard again.

There’s some sort of ranking in place depending on how long you last without being bruised to shit and back, but Shane is more worried about the fact that everything is going blurry. Again. Maybe he won’t even need to decide on whether or not he stays because he’s pretty sure his heart is about to choose for him.

Two squeezes on his shoulder. His heart slows. “Run straight back until ditch. Stay there.” Shane nods just barely, then almost chokes as a knife comes into view, carefully worked between his wrists and sliced up to free his arms. It’s a miracle he’s still standing.

Ilya swivels him around at the same time as the others, a sturdy hand on each shoulder, pointing him off into the dark. “Straight ahead.” The president lets out a booming countdown, and if Shane compartmentalizes it as the seconds before a puck drops, that's between him and a future therapist. At zero a shot rings out into the air half a second late, but Shane's already running.

It goes immediately dark, trees swallowing up the limited firelight, meaning Shane's arms are already raised defensivly against the twigs and branches whipping by, clawing at his body. Some pads would've been fucking nice, especially when a cracked piece of bark catches his sholder. It's enough of a sting to slow his movements, reminding him to wait for his eyes to adjust to the moonlight before continuing to barrel blindly forward. Though it’s nowhere near enough to stop him completley as the distant echoes of a second countdown reaches zero once again and scattered yells and pops fill the night. Oh this really sucks.

Shane turns back, determined to give Usain Bolt a literal run for his money when the universe cuts his aspirations short as he eats shit on a sudden drop. The soft grasses are a welcome relief but he doesn’t have time. He’s being hunted for actually sport while stuck climbing out of a stupid hole and he only has one possible point of safety in this whole big mess so he’s just gotta get up and get to the- oh. Oh thank god he’s in the ditch.

Shane maybe relaxes too much in relief as his hold goes loose and he sinks down harder than he meant into the pit, chuckling in strained disbelief between heaving breaths. This is insane. HE’S insane for not immediately dropping this whole frat thing and going back to the original plan of living in the campus dorms, with randomly assigned roommates who’d probably ignore him and a mess hall that would up charge him to maintain his diet and the continuation of his perfectly planned schedule with no room for surprises or adventures or… fun… Shane wrapped his arms around himself with a huff, feeling the thin lines of already dried blood from the shallow scratches on his arms. This better be over soon.

Luckily, Shane doesn’t have to worry about exposure for long as a body suddenly slides over the lip of the ditch and lands practically on top of him. He can’t help the yelp that’s pulled from his lungs, and if he heart wasn’t pounding so hard he’d groan as a hand presses over his mouth and he once again finds himself in unfortunately familiar position. This time he’s not being threatened with a suffocating panic attack, but that may be preferable to the now level headed view he has of Ilya straddling his hips, strong arms pinning Shane down as he scans the path behind him, moonlight catching wild curls and defined angles and shifting muscles and-

Shane rolls slightly under the guise of trying to free himself, suddenly much less cold. Ilya looks down, as if suddenly realizing Shane is Right There, and fucking smiles. Wide and cocky and full of mischievous glee. Shane can’t help but stare, then snorts in response as Ilya starts to giggle. It’s so absurd. Ilya drops his head to Shane’s shoulder, slightly shaking before letting out a heavy breath, both slightly panicked and relieved. Shane lets his head fall back into the grasses and jerks when he hits a rock. They both start giggling again.

Ilya turns his head to the side, Shane tilting his to meet his gaze. The smiles slowly fade, seeing just how close they are. It’s painfully obvious when eyes dart down to parted lips, the distance so much greater when they’re only a breath apart.

A series of pops ring out follow by a yell then laughter. They both instinctively reach for each other. Momentary tension giving way to more soft chuckles. The moment isn’t gone, just shifted, and Ilya stretches to lay down, resting his head only a little further away, still on Shane’s arm. Shane twists to his side, keeping Ilya in view.

It’s there they stay, among the soft grasses and clear night sky dotted with stars. Shane says something about hoping it doesn’t get much colder and Ilya presses their hips together. Ilya points out a faint constellation above and Shane moves his head to sit in line, matching their exact view. They both settle perhaps a bit too much into the closeness, Shane playing with the hoodie fabric laid over Ilya’s ribs while Ilya works the edges of Shane’s waistband between his fingers.

“Thanks for… ya know, all that.”

“Hmm? Ah, is nothing.”

“Well, it means something to me, you being here and helping me out. Keeping me from… ya know. So, just… thanks.”

Ilya stares at Shane for a moment, gaze full and searching, before quickly shifting into a wide grin. “I think maybe you are too good Canadian boy, thinking I am so nice for your sake. Maybe I am selfish hmm? Doing all this for a reward.” Ilya rolls up slightly, hand suddenly planted on the other side of Shane, looking down at him.

“Oh a reward huh?” Shane quirks an eyebrow, feeling his back settle deeper into the earth. “And what kind of reward do you want?”

“Ah, well…” Ilya takes an exaggerated moment to think, looking up and around as if searching for the answers. “Oh, how about,” and Ilya lets his head drop, hovering dangerously close to Shane’s mouth, “you have to let me win a hockey game?”

The absurdity of the Ilya’s words in that moment chokes a breath from Shane’s lungs, and the beginnings of a confused anger grows before dying completely under Ilya smug and cocky expression. Shane turns his head and palms Ilya’s entire face, pushing it away as he rolls his eyes, fighting off a laugh. “Fuck off.”

Ilya catches Shane’s wrist, guiding it back to pin over his head, chuckling at his own joke. “Mmm, no, you are right. Will be much more fun to beat you fair square.”

“Fair and square.”

“дурацкий язык. Okie, new reward then, one that includes keeping mouth busy so it cannot correct me.”

“Hmm… and what reward would that be?”

And it’s painfully obvious the kiss is coming, but even still they lock eyes and breathe each other’s breath for a moment, Ilya moving slowly closer as if waiting for Shane to pull away. The touch of lips against each other is soft, hesitant, fleeting after only a chaste connection. They both look at each other a beat longer, wide eyed and flushed cheeks, heats beating rapidly, before crashing into each other with an unleashed desperation.

Ilya tightens his hold against Shane’s wrist, pressing harder as he pushes into the kiss with equal pressure. His other hand grasps onto Shane’s hip, half tucked under the waistband to press his finger into the swell of his ass. Shane mirrors the hold, using his free hand to push under Ilya’s own sweats and pull his hips down to connect with his own, slightly grinding together with every breathless twitch of their bodies. Ilya licks deeper while sliding his hand down to fully cup Shane’s ass, pulling him up and closer by a fraction of an inch.

There’s no telling how much further they would’ve gone if not for the distant pop of a few more shots ringing out. They don’t separate immediately, but it is a reminder that they are in fact in the middle of a frat initiation. With guns. Ilya groans, dropping his head beside Shane’s who also lets out a huff.

“Somehow I completely forgot about that.”

“Forgot being hunted in woods by crazy college boys?”

“Fuck off. Someone was being distracting.”

“Oh. So is my fault?”

“Think the evidence might be stacked against you on this one.”

“Hmm. You will arrest me for my crimes?” Ilya hovered close, lips parted above Shane’s.

“I don’t know. Didn’t feel very criminal to me.”

They stay a breath away for a beat, watching the other’s lips while their bodies fight to stay separate. The echoing shots have died off, but it only stands as stronger evidence they can’t let anything continue or there would be nothing to break the spell a second time.

“We should probably get back, yeah?” Ilya huffs against Shane’s mouth, consigning himself to the truth of the matter and letting his head fall to Shane’s collarbone, grunting in resignation.

“Okay you baby. Now let me up, before they start wondering where-” Shane’s words get cut short as he yelps from a sudden bite to his upper pec.

“Ilya! What are doing?! You’re gonna-”

“Leave mark? Yes, that is point.”

“Wha-! No! Do not!”

Ilya levels a stare from Shane’s chest, pulling off only just. “You need battle wound. Cannot return unharmed or everyone will know I did not hunt you.”

Shane hates loves hates his logic. “Yeah but… a hickey?”

“Trust me, will look the same. Besides, you rather I shoot you with paintball?”

Shane stares for a long moment at Ilya, still hovering over that spot, now shiny with spit. He lets his head fall back with a rush of air, throwing his freed arm over his eyes. “Fuck. No. Just, go… go ahead.”

Ilya smirks, dropping back down and working the spot over. Shane only lasts half a minute before moving his hand to his mouth to stifle the moans, a task made exponentially more difficult when Ilya decides to take it a step further by stroking his thumb over Shane’s nipples while he works. Horny bastard, Shane thinks, and pointedly doesn’t linger on that fact that he could be talking about either one of them especially as he lets Ilya continue.

Thankfully Ilya eventually relents, pulling away with a satisfied huff, finishing off his work by popping a paintball with his knife and letting the bright orange drip onto the forming bruise and down Shane’s chest. They don’t talk about how long they just stare after that, before moving again.

It only takes a few more minutes of situating themselves to climb from the ditch, focusing less on fixing their hair and rumpled clothes, which could easily be explained by the woods of it all, and instead shifting clothes to (mostly) hide their boners. Ilya gives Shane a Look when he lets out a half moan while bunching his pants, earning himself a shove to the side. Not that he’s complaining much though, as he’s then graced by Shane walking off in front of him, hips swaying with every step. (This is also short lived as Ilya immediately takes the opportunity to smack Shane’s ass which earns him a lethal glare and a mandated side by side walking position. With more glares. Worth it.)

They both make it back to the fire to uproarious applause, praise showered on them both, though mostly to Shane as it’s quickly revealed he was the last pledge to return by A While. Definitely a good thing they didn’t fuck in the woods then, seeing as the frat was about five minutes out from sending everyone to track the two of them down (something offhandedly referred to as a “group hunt” which causes Shane to take a half step closer to Ilya).

Unfortunately, being the winner means being dragged into the second rager of the night. Drinks are being pushed onto Shane whenever he’s empty and rough hands keep shaking him around in drunken excitement. It doesn’t take long though for the pair of rough hands Shane actually wants to feel to land on him, not yet able to steal him away from the crowd, but there to steady him, cleaning up the paint (while only briefly pressing deep against the hickey bruise) and wrapping Shane in Ilya’s own sweatshirt, warm and scented against chilled skin.

Fortunately, everyone’s still already buzzed from earlier and eventually focus shifts from Shane and his apparently legendary run, to doing stupid drunk stuff in the woods at night with paintball guns, leaving no one to pay attention to where said winner is sneaking off to and with whom.

Once they’re out of sight Ilya pulls Shane into his side, leaning close to whisper in his ear, “I think I have better prize for the winner tonight.” Shane shutters, but not from the cold.

“And I believe I still owe you your reward.” Ilya tightens his grip almost painfully.

No one hears one of the parked cars rev obscenely, then quickly peal out and speed down the back road.

It’s the quietest the frat house has been as the two bust through the front door, barely taking time to orient themselves as they press against walls and furniture, yanking clothes and parting only when the stairs become an issue. Ilya pushes them through Shane’s door, following the swing of the hinges to pin Shane against it, though finds his hands suddenly empty as Shane drops to his knees in the still open doorway. Ilya curses as he hits his head to the wood, grasping Shane’s hair tightly. His perfect reward.

It all becomes a blur of desperation after that. Lost clothes, hot tounges, biting grips. Ilya picks Shane up to throw him on the bed. Shane pulls Ilya down right after. Lube and condoms and gentle praise mixed with pleading demands. It’s everything and still not enough, and they take and give and have each other until the sun breaks and exhaustion finally pulls them to stillness.

The house remains empty, though time is running short. Still, they lay together, tangled up in each other, only half awake and fighting the warm sleep that threatens to surround them.

“I have class in a few hours.”

“Sorry.”

“No you’re not.”

“Guilty.” Ilya plants a kiss on Shane’s chest, right over the bruise. “Though I do not think you will be getting much sleep tonight either.”

“…we are not pulling another all nighter for sex.”

“Boo. But no. I meant next frat thing, is suppose to be long. But maybe if you ask nicely I can sneak you away for beauty sleep. Will even tire you out myself.”

Ilya wiggles his eyebrows a bit at his words but quickly goes stone faced as Shane shoots up, panicked look on his face as he stares Ilya down, at if waiting for a punchline that isn’t coming.

“Wait what? What do you mean there’s another thing tonight? Like, tonight tonight?”

“Yes,” Ilya starts, slow and confused. “Tonight tonight. It’s entire point, yes? Would not be much of hell week without everyday ‘hell’.”

“Wh- what the fuck is hell week!?”

Ilya’s sitting up now too, staring at Shane with that stupid look too many people give him, one Shane has grown to absolutely loathe. The look that tells him he’s missing something big, something he definitely should’ve known about before.

“Initiation.”

“Yeah, what we just did.” Shane hates how his voice is slightly pitched up, nervous in a way he didn’t allow.

“Yes, first day. Of hell week. Which is entire week. That is initiation.” Ilya isn’t sure when he started holding Shane’s arm, rubbing his thumb slowly along the skin, but he’s figures it’s probably a good idea to keep it going as Shane flexes his jaw and takes obvious measured breaths.

“Why,” Shane starts, strained, “is it a whole ass week?”

“Is always a week.” Ilya pauses as Shane’s eyebrows raise. “Is in the name.”

Shane flops down with far more force than necessary and covers his face, making a strained noise into his closed mouth. “Why didn’t anyone say anything?! What kind of fraternity tortures its new recruits every day for the entire first week of university?!!?”

Ilya can’t help the way his eyes widen, brows climbing up his forehead as he presses his lips flat. Thankfully Shane has his eyes still covered, and Ilya quickly schools his expression, feeling like a lesson in campus culture wouldn’t be especially appreciated right now. “Shane. Hey, listen, okay. I wasn’t just making joke about sneaking you away. I am very charming, will be easy to pull you away without anyone knowing, and you do not even have to have to suck my dick again if you don’t want to.” Ilya pouts at the last sentence and Shane rolls his eyes.

“But serious, it is some sort of game show in the backyard with special punishments. I can make up punishment to do inside and we go up to my room and lock door. Simple.”

“Simple.”

“Yes. Simple.” Shane is at least looking at Ilya again, a level of skepticism clearly expressed, though broken by a faint smile he can’t quite hide. Ilya lays back down next to Shane, tucked to his side at he holds himself up to look at Shane. “I will not let you get kicked out. Promise.”

“You really mean it.” Shane intended for it to be a question but he can’t help how easily it became a statement.

“Obviously. Where else will I find another perfect ass like this?”

Shane rolls his head, looking away as a traitorous smile creeps onto his face. Ilya takes the opportunity to duck lower, kissing up along Shane’s neck.

“You’re impossible.”

“Do you trust me?”

And Shane doesn’t want to say his first thought, already feeling more than a bit vulnerable. “I don’t know, should I?”

“Of course, I am knight in shiny armor, here to save the day.”

“Shining armor.”

“…never mind I will let you get eaten by wolves.”

“Shut up. There’s no wolves here.”

“So confident, but no, you are wrong Hollander. All that time out in woods and you didn’t even notice constant howling.”

“What do you mean constant howl- Ilya are you talking about the loons.”

“Loons is type of wolf?”

“It’s a bird.”

“Then no, I am not talking about loons.”

Shane is giving A Look. “Ilya.”

Ilya is giving a far less convincing Look. “Shane.”

“Did you think we were all running around the woods about to be killed by wolves the whole night?”

Ilya rolls his eyes. “Of course not. I am big strong Russian, could easily fight off a pack of wolves for you.”

Shane wanted to tease him. Wanted to pull up a video of a loon call and watch Ilya struggle through a comeback. Maybe even wanted to wrestle to see how equipped he really was at taking on a literal wolf. But everything felt so meaningless when compared to those two little words. For you. It didn’t really have to mean anything, and it probably didn’t, but then why did it feel like it carried the weight of their world? Why did it lodge itself so deep in Shane’s mind, looping the words over and over?

“You asked if I trusted you.”

Ilya’s smile slips, momentary confusion at the sudden change, searching over Shane’s relaxed features. Warm fingers reach up, tracing Ilya’s bottom lip then sliding up to cheek, stilling all movement.

And they’re back in the ditch locking eyes with spit wet lips parted just so. Back at the party bumping shoulders even when the music faded out. Back on the front curb surrounding by boxes and the need to touch.

They’re back on that first day, only catching a fleeting glance from across the room and yet never wanting to look away again.

The words come easier than breathing the air shared between them. “I do.”

[hollanovarchive]

Looking for happy-ending Hollanov fics where Shane doesn’t get hurt before the cottage, so Ilya follows through with his original breakup plan after the game. Basically wanting “what if the breakup actually happened first” angst/reconciliation vibes

If you want more in this trope, check out my Exes to Lovers list.

2017 Break Up Happens

🏒 even when i doubt you, i'm no good without you | 1.3k

Ilya goes to the hospital to break up with Shane. Shane starts crying and Ilya caves immediately.

🏒 my ribs are metal cages (to guard my heart) | 2.5k

Shane doesn't get hit at the 2017 Boston vs Montreal game. Ilya follows through with his plan.

🏒 just let me move on first | 3.4k

Shane doesn't get hit on the ice, doesn't end up in the hospital with a concussion and broken collarbone, doesn't invite Ilya to the cottage. Ilya finds the resolve to break things off with him that night

🏒 Course Correction | 3.4k

Ilya breaks up with Shane when he comes back from Moscow. Well, he tries anyway.

🏒 Found in Translation | 3.8k

If Shane hadn't ended up injured that night, Ilya would have broken up with him, and if Scott Hunter hadn't won that year either, what would the relationship between Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander be like?

🏒 this love is alive (back from the dead) | 4.6k

cliff marlow doesn't injure shane, and ilya goes through with his plan to end things with him that night

🏒 I Know You Want Me to Want You | 5.4k

Shane and Ilya call it quits after the All-Stars game when Ilya says they can't be anything. He says no one will fuck Shane like he can, and Shane takes that personally, starting a two year cycle of sending each other ratings of the other people they fuck

🏒 What Was That? | 5.5k

 Shane doesn't get hurt at the Boston vs. Montreal match. Instead, he gets his heart broken.

🏒 If only I’d known, I’m sorry. | 7.2k

Before Shane got a concussion on the ice, Ilya had planned to break up with him that night when they would have met up, but ultimately he couldn't go through with it after seeing Shane hurt. What if Ilya broke up with Shane before Shane got hurt on the ice?

🏒 oh comely | 8.2k

Shane doesn't get injured that night Montreal plays Boston. Ilya follows through on his plan to break things off with him. Well, he tries, at least

🏒 you stole my show, so I chase you to the pavement | 8.3k

Shane doesn't actually get hurt in the game against Boston and Ilya breaks up with him because Ilya's heart had entered into it, and that changed everything

🏒 What Hurts The Most | 8.7k

What if Shane hadn't gotten hit by Cliff in Heated Rivalry? What if he'd gone over to Ilya's that night, when Ilya planned to break up with him?

🏒 Countdown to Connect | 9.0k

🔒 Shane Hollander doesn’t take the hit from Cliff Marlow, and Ilya Rozanov ends their arrangement in 2017. Heartbroken, Shane tries to move on. He wins another Stanley Cup. He sleeps around. He’s fine. Until he is outed in photos leaked to the tabloids, clearly hooking up with a man.

🏒 it hurts to be something (it's worse to be nothing with you) | 10.3k

the aftermath of ilya breaking up with shane

🏒 Coming This Fall | 11.3k

Shane and Ilya end their relationship during the 2017 All-Star Game. Years pass with no contact off the ice. When a new TV show premieres, following two queer professional soccer players in a years-long secret relationship, the show's success creates a ripple effect through the sports world, leaving both Shane and Ilya wondering about what might have been

🏒 Before I'm someone you leave behind (I'll break your heart so you don’t break mine) | 11.5k

What if Shane never got injured?What if Ilya decided to finally take a step back?What if the 5th best player of MLH was suddenly spotted hanging out hockey's golden boy Shane Hollander?What if Ilya had a few feelings about it?

🏒 Supporting Role | 12.2k

Shane's injury is much more minor, so Ilya goes through with the breakup. Luckily, Rose is there to help him through it.

🏒 Invite Me Home | 12.7k

After Scott Hunter comes out on national TV, Ilya wants nothing more than to go to Shane's cottage and figure out a way to make their relationship work. Too bad he broke things off and blocked Shane after the Montreal/Boston game that sent Shane to the hospital. Upon discovering that Shane has blocked him back, Ilya decides to show up at the cottage and win his Hollander back.

🏒 don't rein me in | 13.1k

Ilya breaks no contact by connecting to Shane's vibrator

🏒 seigfried | 13.3k

Shane never gets injured during the All-Stars game. Ilya breaks things off with Shane after he returns from Russia. Scott Hunter never wins the Stanley Cup

🏒 (Sub)textual Evidence | 13.3k

ilya goes through with his plan to break up with shane in the hospital) (the problem? shane is too high to understand that he's being broken up with

🏒 Like A Man Who Wants Me | 13.8k

🔒 After breaking off their situationship, Shane is taunted by Ilya's sex tapes, with a man who looks eerily similar to himself.

🏒 And How Can I Move On When I'm Still In Love With You? | 19.8k

Shane never got a concussion during the Montreal/Boston game in April 2017 and Ilya ended things like he had planned to. Also the Scott/Kip kiss never happens.

🏒 I Need Sunshine | 21.4k

“I can’t do this anymore, Hollander.” His voice sounded steadier than he felt, and he was glad. "I don't want to do this."

🏒 Love In Exile Has Nowhere To Go | 22.9k

Shane doesn’t get hurt, they break up, and they don’t talk for five long years. Until Shane is traded to Ottawa

🏒 He Is Stable (You Are Deep) | 24.2k

Shane never gets injured that night at the Montreal vs. Boston game. Ilya ends things between them. They spend the next year trying to forget each other in other people. Their yearning betrays them.

🏒 Often, Lately | 26.1k

Shane does not get laid out on the ice. Ilya goes through with ending it. Shane lets him

🏒 Unearthed | 27.5k

Shane doesn’t get hurt playing against Boston, and Ilya does break up with him. Flash forward four years, and Shane finds himself playing for the Ottawa Centaurs, where Ilya has been captain since 2019

🏒 Distance Getting Close | 31.4k

Ilya ends things with Shane after he is injured at the Boston/Montreal game, but shortly thereafter Shane finds out he is pregnant.

🏒 a moonbeam in your hand | 38.3k

Ilya spirals into a deep depression when Shane breaks things off with him definitively after a horrifying run in with their feelings (and tuna melts)

🏒 The Hurt I've Caused | 48.1k

After Ilya breaks his heart, Shane gets into a relationship with a physically and emotionally abusive man. Ilya notices something is wrong. He will stop at nothing to fix things

🏒 Do You Think About Me At All? | 48.5k

Shane walked away from Ilya after the tuna melt incident. But what if Shane never turned up at the All Stars Game in Tampa?

🏒 Distance getting Close | 50.4k

Ilya ends things with Shane after he is injured at the Boston/Montreal game, but shortly thereafter Shane finds out he is pregnant.

🏒 ay, recházame (oh, reject me) | 57.3k

Shane doesn't get injured after Tampa, and Ilya breaks up with him to save both their hearts. (Un?)Fortunately for Ilya, Shane isn't letting him go without a fight

🏒 Would Have Been the Best Mistake (should have kissed you anyway) | 58.3k

where Ilya does cut things off before the cottage and Shane lets him

🏒 Death And Taxes (And Shane Hollander) | 68.0k

When Shane and Ilya meet again late in life, can they make their second chance work? (Cottage never happens)

🏒 think twice (and come back for a third time) | 70.3k

 Ilya's father doesn't die in 2017; Ilya breaks up with Shane instead of confessing his love. They get older, but not any less stupid about each other. Shane gets a boyfriend; Ilya gets on medication; they work on becoming whole people. And they always find their way back to each other.

🏒 There's Things I Want to Say to You (but I'll just let you live) | WIP

what if Ilya had ended things in the hospital when he went to visit Shane?

🏒 Distance getting Close | WIP

Ilya ends things with Shane after he is injured at the Boston/Montreal game, but shortly thereafter Shane finds out he is pregnant

🏒 The Problem is, His Type Might Just be Assholes | WIP

Back in 2017 Shane Hollander doesn't get his bell rung in the game against Boston, and Ilya breaks things off that evening. It's best for both of them. Ilya needs to work on finding a woman he likes enough to keep around, and Shane deserves to be with a good guy. Someone who would make his world bigger, not smaller. Even if that means Ilya has a black pit where his heart should be when he lifts the Stanley Cup for the second time a few months later

🏒 We needed more, You offered less | WIP

 After their breakup, neither can handle it well. Shane Spirals, and Ilya wished he knew how to grieve them differently

🏒 this is not enough | WIP

In the Heated Rivalry book, Ilya intends to break things off with Shane the night of the All-Star Game, but then Shane gets hurt. What if Shane never gets injured by Marlow, and Ilya really does break things off?

🏒 Constellations | WIP

Boston's Ilya Rozanov decides to do what he'd been putting off for years. He calls off his affair with Shane Hollander, Montreal extraordinaire, right before a Montreal vs Boston game. He gets a hockey puck shot right into his hamstring for it. Right in the middle of the game. Honestly, he never guessed Hollander had it in him to be vindictive

🏒 You Would’ve Been The One | WIP

In April 2017, Shane Hollander suffers the most painful not-breakup he’ll ever experience. Months later, he's outed. Two years after that, a broken knee ends his career.When Rozanov unexpectedly crosses Shane's path four years later, Shane resolves to be courteous yet keep his distance. But Ilya is just as beautiful and charming as he ever was, and he’s determined to give what they'd once shared a second chance. A real chance.

Fic Rec Masterpost | Rewritten Scenes

2014 Vegas Rewrite | 2017 Break Up Happens | All Star Weekend Rewrite | Boxing Day Fight Rewrite | Centaurs Plane Crash Rewrite | Cottage Phone Call Rewrite | First Hook Up Rewrite | Hospital Rewrites | Hospital Rewrite | Hotel Gym Rewrite | Shane Leaves Ilya Post Vegas | Sleeping w/ Other Men Fight | Tuna Melt Rewrite

Similar -> 2017 Break Up Rewrite | Boyfriend Era Pt. 1 | Boyfriend Era Pt.2 | Breaking Up & Making Up | Cheating w/ Each Other | Different First Meet | Early Relationship | Exes to Lovers | Getting Together Later In Timeline | Married Hollanov Pt 1 | Married Hollanov Pt 2 | Married Hollanov Pt 3 | Pre-Relationship | Situationship Era

Feel free to add to this list (:

[martelldoran]

like sugar on my tongue

thank you to @hutsonwoolyums for the inspiration for this scene. i hope you don't mind that i took your horny idea and gave it a little twist. i wanted to finish this for fingers in his mouth friday but ran out of time and didn't want to wait for next friday so let's say this counts for suck him off sunday 🤫 (cw for religious allegory throughout)

if the dutch masters could see ilya, they would weep. they would be falling over themselves to cast him in oils to hang him as an angel in churches across the continent. there isn't a world where he would look out of place with the choir ascendent. one day, some artist will stumble upon him out in the world and sweep him away from the meadery, the orchard, the hives, the workshop. it could only be a matter of time.

as it is, shane has him all to himself. for the next half an hour at least.

sun streams through the workshop window and gilds ilya's curls into a halo. he leans against the windowsill, shirt sleeves rolled to his elbows, and he gazes listlessly over his shoulder out into the orchard. beyond the workshops warped glass, the trees are in bloom where white petalled flowers shiver in anticipation of a breeze that will pull them from their branches.

"do you try the honey? before you sell it?" ilya asks.

shane shakes his head and ilya hums.

"who does? your brothers?" shane shrugs. "the abbot?" he nods because yes, usually it does go to the abbot. he checks the quality, confirms that shane's stewardship of the bees continues to be fruitful, and decides when and to whom the honey should be sold. it's simple, really.

ilya hums again and sniffs. his brow furrows.

shane shuffles the paperwork in front of him. he runs a quill down the number column even as his eyes catch on the sharp line of ilya's jaw and the pout of his heart shaped mouth. the paperwork is fine. he checked it himself this morning. he wets his bottom lip, clears his throat, and is rewarded with the slow swivel of ilya's head and the easy grin that splits his face when they lock eyes.

"how many jars this time pchelka?" ilya asks as he pushes off the windowsill and peers over shane's shoulder. he's so close that shane feels the heat rolling of him, pressing up against his back as insistent as any touch. ilya exhales and his breathe tickles hotly against shane's ear. "hmm 46. good number. garneau will be pleased."

shane glances sideways at him. he's frowning at the papers, mouth pursing and relaxing as he tries to parse the unfamiliar words. it would be easy to help him, to point out the details of the trade agreement, and let the words rolls right off his tongue, but he can't. he made a promise. admittedly a promise he breaks every day as he tends to his bees but they need him.

"46 jars," ilya muses, tapping a finger to his chin. "is not a round number, sevochka."

shane peers around at him. ilya taps the paper.

"45 jars is better, yes? less waste for us," he continues but shane is shaking his head. they ordered 46. "garneau will not miss one jar, i think."

ilya reaches past shane and plucks a clay pot from the crate. shane lurches for it, mouth open. ilya ducks out of his space and cracks the lid.

"aaah come now, sevochka, will be our little secret. i don't get to try it either." ilya's face has slackened, gone wide eyed in a show of innocence that warms shane through under the collar of his habit. "aren't you curious?"

shane is curious about a lot of things and he had made his peace a long time ago with not satiating it, but ilya rozanov opens a pit of curious hunger in him with every prodding question and flash of his wolf's smile. that wolf's smile is in place now. the tip of his tongue curls around one jagged incisor and shane feels the dare sitting between them in the same way he feels when there's a storm pressing in close.

slowly, ilya removes the lid, eyes locked on shane and his stomach churns with the tug of giving in.

is this how the baby felt before king solomon's judgement? he thinks.

each breath catches in the top of his chest, shallow, little gasps, and it's as if his bees have burrowed under his skin. he wets his bottom lip. it would be easy for him to close the distance. one, two, not even three steps and he would be nose to nose with him. there's not much between them in that respect, same height, same broad build. ilya wouldn't even stop him from snatching the jar back, he's almost certain.

this is a test, he thinks wildly.

"i won't tell if you don't." ilya's voice, low and silken, wraps around shane and raises the gooseflesh on his arms. the workshop has never felt smaller.

with deliberate slowness, ilya scoops two fingers of honey from the jar. golden and viscous, it clings to his fingers, dripping in quick sticky rivulets down the back of his hand to his wrist as he brings his fingers to his mouth. shane swallows. ilya's lips part and he moans as the honey hits his tongue.

it's too big a sound for the confines of the stuffy workshop. ilya's eyes close and shane can't look away from the slow slide of his fingers as they disappear between his lips.

"they were right," ilya moans, licking at his wrist and pinning shane with a look so heated he burns down to the soles of his feet. "is as good as they say. floral, yes?"

shane nods, breathless, locked on the wet sheen of ilya's impossibly red mouth. his cock twitches, hard now beneath his habit. ilya hums, licks at his fingers again, and pauses to savour the taste.

"your turn, pchelka."

ilya advances. shane is used to the swell of ilya pressing into his personal space by now. he loves to get close, close enough that they're almost chest to chest and more than enough for shane to see the shifting blue green of his eyes or to map out all his moles and freckles. but there's no teasing edge to his approach, his expression shuttered to a dark intensity that has his pulse jumping at the base of his throat.

he still smells bright from the outside, something fresh and sharp that mixes with the honeyed sweetness from the jar and something smokier that shane knows is all ilya. the yawning pit of hunger in him roars to life. as ilya comes to a stop in front of him, all shane wants to do is press his nose to the hollow under the hinge of his jaw, the base of his throat, hell, his armpit if it meant he would be full.

ilya dips his fingers back into the jar and brings up a smaller scoop this time. he twists his wrist to balance the gob so it doesn't drip and holds it just in front of shane's mouth. he would barely need to move to sneak a taste. the very tip of his tongue would reach.

shane presses his lips together. he barely manages to shake his head. he's not even sure it counts, a sharp, shuddering jerk from one side and then the other, but ilya's expression softens like he expected this. he twists his wrist to catch a drip before it lands down the front of shane's habit.

"careful," he says softly. "you don't want to create more laundry for your brothers."

shane drops his eyes from ilya's to his mouth to his fingers and back.

it occurs to shane that these are the same fingers that ilya had in his own mouth, that to taste the honey in this moment would, in some small way, be to taste ilya. he looks between the honey and ilya's lips which part once more into a grin. is shane so easily read? does he know what he's thinking? shane swallows. the wanting rises in him, as angry as the swarm as it presses up under his skin and stretches him to bursting. he has nowhere for it to go. there is no waiting hive to siphon this part of himself off to ease the strain and make more room. he must keep it. cull it.

ilya edges closer. his free hand skims the rough spun edges of his habit. it's a suggestion of touch and shane feels it like Ilya has placed his work rough hands directly on his skin all the same. "is no bad thing, sevochka," he says, voice low and as soft as the caress shane wants so badly. "you can blame me."

all the air whooshes out of him because of course he would offer himself up like that to give Shane an easy out.

"is okay," he continues, voice catching, and brings the honey coated tips of his fingers to rest against the soft seam of shane's mouth. shane quakes. the honey is warmed through from the heat of ilya's skin. shane's ears buzz. his fingers tingle. he wants.

he wants.

and he wants.

shane opens his mouth and sucks ilya's fingers down to the second knuckle.

the florals hit him first. it's the heady scent of the orchard, of a wildflower meadow, and it lingers at the back of his nose when the sweetness hits. he can't remember the last time he ate anything sweet. it's so sweet it catches him in the hinge of his jaw and his mouth floods with saliva. god, he wants more. he wants to pour the entire jar straight into his mouth.

no.

he wants ilya to feed it to him. fingerful by fingerful until it's gone and he's sick with it because just behind all that sweetness is the salt of ilya's skin and he might just want that more. a punched out noise works it's way out of him, muffled by ilya's fingers.

ilya presses down on his tongue and shane hollows his cheeks, working to get the last of the honey still left on his skin. ilya's eyes are blown, wide and dark, he stares at shane with parted lips.

"more?" he rasps even as he slides his fingers from shane's mouth to scoop more from the jar.

despite the frantic thrashing of his heart in his chest, shane doesn't dare move, ilya's own pulse jumps at the base of his throat, but it's as if they themselves are suspended in honey. every movement is molasses slow as ilya's fingers press into shane's mouth once more.

there's less than a hand's breadth between them and shane aches with the distance. all it would take is shane's hand on ilya's hip to pull them together. he could stack their legs, grind down ilya's thigh. anything if it meant he could feel some relief from the throbbing between his legs.

but he can't.

he won't.

ilya catches him behind his front teeth, his thumb digging into the soft underside of his jaw, and tugs a little like he wants to pull shane close but he slides his fingers free instead. shane stifles the whine that fights up his throat. he snuffles, pants, like some soft bellied animal denied a treat.

"oh, sevochka."

shane shivers at the name. not his name, not the name he wants to hear ilya sigh so sweetly, but it's all he'll ever have because that's the name he chose. there is so little of "shane" left. he chose the life of a worker drone and he is but one of many. ilya brushes the edge of his hand across shane's cheek and for the briefest second, he wishes he hadn't.

with his breath hot on shane's cheek, ilya feeds him scoop after scoop of honey until his back teeth ache with it, but he accepts the press of ilya's fingers on his tongue as easily as he would communion. he chases the feeling, his hands clenched into fists inside his habit sleeves. he buzzes with desire but his mind is quiet, focussed as if in prayer. he lets his eyes fall shut and surrenders to the feeling.

[tinylilhollander]

I simply have to go to bed now, but please remind me tomorrow to talk about Shane and Ilya roleplaying Shane getting fucked by an entire hockey team, where Ilya plays every single player, just changing into different team hoodies/jerseys/caps for each character.

[tinylilhollander]

OKAY SO

Shane admits to Ilya one day that a fantasy he's always had is being taken by a whole hockey team. And he's a little embarrassed by it because he knows how impossible it is. I mean firstly where are they going to find a whole hockey team that's into the idea of gay sex? ("Least of our problems, Malysh. You just need to tell them that fucking Shane Hollander will make their game better and even the homophobic ones will stop to think about it. What was the second problem?") Secondly, Ilya doesn't share, and Shane doesn't want anyone besides Ilya. So it's kind of a hopeless fantasy, even if it is one of his favorites.

"Leave it to me," Ilya says, pressing a kiss to Shane's lips. "I will make your dreams come true." And before Shane can ask how, he's being pushed down into the pillows as Ilya begins kissing him long and slow and filthy.

A few days later, Ilya tells Shane to cancel any plans he has for Saturday because he's going to need him the whole day. Shane knows when Ilya says this it's usually a sign that he's about to spend the day being thoroughly fucked, so he's more than happy to cancel his plans to hangout with Hayden. And sure enough, a few days later, Shane finds himself on all fours on the bed in the guest room, facing a mirror Ilya has strategically placed, wearing nothing but a jersey for a fake team emblazoned with 'Rozanov 81', a pair of socks, a cock ring, and a plug that Ilya had worked into him earlier to prepare him.

Shane takes a moment to look at the jersey in the mirror. He must have gotten Harris to design a team logo or something because the front of the jersey has a graphic of an O, circled by a comet. ("The team is the Ottawa Comets. Just go with it, okay?") and Shane is more than happy to. He's touched that Ilya's gone to such lengths for this, and it immediately clears up a lot of questions that would have distracted him later.

After what feels like ages, Ilya walks into the room and stops at the door just staring at Shane for a moment.

"I was just getting the guys all settled in and laying down the ground rules," he says. "And then I realized that I had to be the first one to have you or I would be so jealous for the rest of the day."

Shane is so hard already he thinks he might pass out, but he just arches his back like an invitation, pleased when he hears Ilya moan behind him. A moment later, he appears in the mirror behind him. He's wearing shorts and a tee with the same graphic as the one on Shane's jersey.

"My Shane, how am I supposed to share you when you are here looking like this?" he says, pulling off his shorts and climbing onto the bed to murmur this against the shell of Shane's ear. Shane feels goosebumps erupt all over his body. "This is why you must wear my jersey the whole time. I want all of those assholes to know that even though I am being very kind and sharing with them, you are mine and only mine. Yes?"

"Yes," Shane hisses, pressing his ass back against Ilya, desperate for him to start fucking him. "Only yours, baby."

When Shane looks up to catch Ilya's face in the mirror, he's please to see that his eyes are dark and full of need and his cheeks are slightly flushed. Ilya slowly removes his shirt and begins kissing Shane down his jaw, neck, upper back, pulling down the neck of his jersey to reach more skin.

"I thought the plan was for everyone to fuck me," says Shane, head spinning a little at the feeling of Ilya's lips on the nape of his neck. "This is a lot more kissing than I was anticipating." He's being a little bratty, but he can't help it. He just wants Ilya to fuck him already.

"Patience, My Shane. I get special husband privileges," he says, scraping his teeth a little against Shane's skin in that way that drives Shane crazy, before finally, finally slowly starting to pull out his plug. "Do you know how excited they all are downstairs? They cannot wait to get the chance to fuck the beautiful god of hockey, Shane Hollander. But this is still my turn and I will enjoy it."

And enjoy it he does. Ilya takes his time, hitting all the angles that Shane likes, murmuring to him the whole time about how beautiful he is, how he's so fucking amazing for agreeing to do this to make him popular with the team, how grateful he is that his husband would do that for him, what a sacrifice it is because he knows that Ilya is the only one he wants. Shane lets himself get lost in it, surrendering completely to whatever Ilya wants to do, only concentrating on not coming. That's the one rule he's been given and there's no way he's breaking it.

When Ilya comes a few moments later, immediately plugging Shane back up and kissing him everywhere, telling him over and over how good he was, how fucking hot that was, how good and obedient he is for remembering not to come, Shane's legs are already feeling weak. But he takes a deep steadying breath. He still has a whole team to go.

"I'm going to send the first guy up in a bit, Solnyshko," he says, pressing one last kiss to Shane's shoulder. "Are you ready for him?"

Shane nods, not sure if he's still able to form words at this point, but not really needing to either. Ilya climbs off the bed, goes to the en suite to clean himself off, and then pulls his clothes back on.

"Oh I forgot to say, the whole team is from Russia. Isn't that so weird? Anyway don't get a fright when they sound like me, okay?" And Shane can't help but laugh to himself a little as Ilya leaves the room.

Shane doesn't have to wait long before he's back, this time wearing different shorts, no shirt, and a backwards cap.

"Wow, Rozy wasn't joking," he says in a thicker accent than his own. "You are a fucking, uh what you call, smokeshow. I can't believe he's just letting us fuck you. But I see he did leave a reminder that you belong to him." He removes the plug, and Shane feels a bit of Ilya's cum leak out in a way that sends shivers through his whole body.

And as Ilya's "teammate" takes him, Shane has to concentrate even harder on not coming. He's not giving in this early. Shane finds himself grateful for the cock ring, because he's starting to think that without it, this might be impossible. It's the dumbest, hottest thing they've ever done, and Shane couldn't be fucking happier.

By the time Shane's taken three more "teammates", there are tears streaming down his face, his legs are trembling and he's so hard and desperate that he feels like he might actually die if he doesn't get to come soon. Thankfully, Ilya seems to sense this, because when Shane's expecting a fifth teammate, he's relieved that it turns out to be just Ilya.

"Please, baby," Shane begs, voice shaky with tears and need, unable to do much more. "Please I need to... I'm dying here."

"The rest of the guys have decided to have their turn another day," says Ilya, climbing onto the bed to kiss Shane so gently. He places a hand over where Shane's belly is bloated with cum. "You did so well, Malysh. They cannot stop talking about you. I'm the man now, all thanks to you."

"Of course, Lyubimyy," he carefully removes the cock ring and then finally, at last, wraps his hand around Shane's cock. It only takes a few tugs before Shane comes harder than he ever has in his life, so hard he can't even make a sound. As soon as he's done, Ilya gathers him into his arms and kisses him so sweetly and reverantly that Shane can't help but cry again. "That was so perfect, My Shane. You are so perfect. God, I am so lucky. The luckiest man on earth definitely."

Shane is so blissed out and dazed after that, that he barely remembers Ilya carrying him to the shower, carefully removing the plug and remarking at how much he took, how fucking amazing he is, how much he enjoyed it. He barely remembers Ilya carefully cleaning them both, washing his hair, drying him off, taking him to their room to get changed into his comfiest sleep clothes, and finally climbing into bed with him and pulling him close.

"Did you enjoy it though, Lyubimyy?" he asks, pressing a kiss to Shane's forehead. "I know it wasn't a whole team, but was it at least what you hoped for?"

And Shane nods and snuggles closer into Ilya, completely spent, eyes heavier than they'd ever been. "It was fucking everything, baby."

[blond-shell]

some more hollanov fics ive enjoyed recently :)

the emotions of a teenage girl (and two retired hockey players) by xogray | teen | 14624 words | 5 times Shane and Ilya navigate their teenage daughter's emotions, plus 1 time she handles theirs.

secondhand by PenAndInkPrincess | mature | 5365 words | how and why ilya finally gives up smoking.

As the Romans Do by kooksie | explicit | 40186 words | As a straight man, Ilya Rozanov has never had a gay roommate before, but it’s going pretty well. So when Shane starts bringing men over, and Ilya begins to want to bash their fucking heads in, Ilya comes to a startling conclusion: He must be homophobic.

Leave a divot for your eye by mrbusinessman (ifyoudo) | mature | 5945 words | Ilya Rozanov regularly gets called out on fighting his husband’s battles. He thinks people should be glad it’s him they’re facing.

book boyfriend by lanallite | teen | 8634 words | a straight hockey romance becomes the biggest show on the planet. The internet is convinced (correctly) that the male lead is 100% based on Shane Hollander. Too bad almost no one knows Shane Hollander is gay.

Win Stupid Prizes by angeltaser | explicit | 14281 words | A drunken fan interaction was making its rounds on social media, and Ilya knew that apologies weren’t cheap.

The Art of Lingering by pigeonriot | explicit | 8726 words | 5 times Shane or Ilya leave after a hook-up because they cannot rationalize staying + 1 time there is no excuse needed.

Collision Course by pigeonriot | explicit | 28030 words | Post-tuna melt, Ilya injures Shane on the ice and has to grapple with the consequences.

to the bone by WeeBeastie | explicit | 3649 words | A series of scenes of Ilya doing his best to take care of Shane, spanning years of their relationship.

two steps on the water by anonymous | mature | 25321 words | Troy asks for Shane’s number, and Ilya gives it to him. What could go wrong? Or maybe more importantly, what could go right?

The Rise of Shayden by shaneyp1e | teen | 9604 words | After a YouTube video about The Hayden Pike App goes viral, hockeytwt is swarmed by a wave of new fans who seem to be obsessed with their new favourite gay ship, Shayden.

i’ll be softer (like your mother) by aislinnn | explicit | 8362 words | Ilya’s fixation with Shane’s pecs turns into something unexpected.

not gonna give them the blow-by-blow by noraster | teen | 2405 words | Shane had no intention of giving the press any information about when he and Ilya started hooking up. Ever. It was so thoroughly nobody's business. But what was he supposed to do, just let people be wrong about his stats?

pick-up lessons by noraster | explicit | 4272 words | In a post-coital haze, he makes the obvious move: he asks Ilya Rozanov, his extremely casual fuckbuddy, for advice on how to pick up other men.

Green by nomsy | explicit | 8533 words | Five times Shane and Ilya show jealousy in front of others, and one time they keep it between themselves.

just a spark (but it's enough) by xogray | general | 4305 words | Ilya has a bad day but his husband and daughter help.

canada's community boyfriend by lipstickliterature | explicit | 16711 words | 5 times Ilya is consumed with jealousy over his own fucking boyfriend + 1 time Shane shows him who he really belongs to.

Vodka Cranberry by kooksie | explicit | 5172 words | After the hookup where Shane and Ilya didn’t kiss, Shane nearly passes out in his rival’s hotel room.

skipped practice by schittyfic | explicit | 9548 words | In the midst of a stressful season, Shane's a little... out of practice. He's not gonna let that stop him getting what he wants.

[toasted-rivalry]

A ‘Bears walk in to Ilya’s house and see him napping with Shane AU’ where Ilya somehow manages to still keep Shane’s identity a secret.

Ilya always had been a light sleeper, so no matter how lightly they stepped he was awake moments after the first shocked gasp.

Ilya knows it’s over for him. There’s no mistaking that there’s a man asleep on his chest in a clearly non-platonic cuddle. Usually Ilya would be punching the intruder, threatening violence to try and ensure they kept their mouth shut but he has quickly realised something far more important. With the way they are sleeping, Ilya on his underneath on his back and Shane on his stomach on top with his face pressed into the gap between Ilya’s neck and the couch, they can’t see his face.

He quickly pulls Shane’s hood up over his head to hide hair and rests a hand over it to gently discourage Shane from moving it should he start to wake up.

So Ilya just stares down his team and goes “you can be upset, but are going to be fucking quiet about it because if you wake my guest I’m sending all my blackmail on you to your wives, and then start fucking them to help them get over the divorce.”

So the whole “You’re fucking gay!” “No, I’m a fucking bi who is fucking a gay” conversation happens at a furious whisper, with Shane blissfully sleeping on Ilya’s chest as life implodes around him.

Shane may be a deep sleeper - and the argument in whispers - but even he starts to stir at the noise.

Ilya can’t have him moving his face into visibility now, so he just scruffs the back of his neck harshly and pressed him deeper into his shoulder.

Shane lets out a pleased (and not at all quiet) moan, and - worried that he is going to start talking - Ilya realises he needs to shut him up.

So he glares at the Bears to be quiet, while suddenly putting on the softest voice they have ever heard him use as he goes, “shhh quiet time now mоя любовь. Back to sleep.” And then shoves his fingers into Shane’s mouth.

When the Bears leave soon after, some of them have LEARNT some things about themselves. But crucially, none of them have learnt who their captain is fucking.

[giveemhales]

Criminally Underrated Hollanov Fics - Part 2

Part 1

People seemed to like the first list so here are 10 more underrated hollanov fics. All are completed, all have under 10k hits and 100 comments, and all deserve more love! And all but one are under 10k words. I have personally read and can vouch for all of these. If you enjoy, please remember to show some love to the authors! Also, if anyone ever wants to discuss any of the fics I ever post about, my dms are always open :)

it’s just background noise, anyway by @anincompletelist (2.4k, M) - cliff and carmichael sneak into ilya’s penthouse in 2014 vegas and almost catch shane and ilya in the act. love how this author writes ilya’s pov, he’s such a yearner

Forget about it by @deliciousblizzardshark (2.5k, G) - shane and ilya wake up together in a hospital room and both have temporary amnesia, they are so silly i love them

who else could love me quite as kindly as you by @eemolu (2.9k, M) - ilya can’t actually live inside of shane, so he settles for burrowing under his sweatshirt instead. so achingly tender. the love they feel for each other really shines through

jealous of the night watch by @lottswrites (3.7k, E) - hitman ilya needs to cuff hitman shane to make sure he doesn’t interfere with his job. i think you can guess where it goes from there hehe. love this au plus this fic was written for a charity event which makes it even more special!

Shane Hollandbear by writeitininkorinblood (4.1k, G) - outsider pov. the centaurs take shane to build-a-bear to make a bear for ilya. pure fluff and humor. made me want to go back to BAB

loose lips sink ships all the damn time by hollsynov (4.2k, T) - texting and socmed fic. ilya’s phone is broken so shane messages him on twitter, but accidentally outs them to a fan account instead. love this oc, this was funnier and more wholesome than i expected

i pay attention to things that most people ignore by @extendedpl4y (4.9k, T) - hayden realizes lily is ilya all on his own. i usually read (and write) fics with hayden as a dumbass so this is a nice change and very sweet!

In Sickness and In Health by gnomey2001 (5.5k, E) - shane gets the stomach flu after fleeing the tuna meltdown and so do all the raiders. shane is stuck in boston when the game is canceled, and ilya takes care of him. i love a post-tuna meltdown fix it and really enjoyed how everything was resolved.

slow motion, love potion by @delsicle (6.8k, E) - sex worker ilya is hired by shane in sochi during the winter olympics so he can experiment with a man. hot, sweet, and sad all at once. lovely writing

78 seconds by @felifiran (11k, E) - instead of shane being injured at the boston-montreal game, ilya takes a skate to the neck. it’s not as graphic as it sounds (but obviously there are discussions of blood). some lovely hurt/comfort, perfect if you want something bittersweet

[argillaforma]

au where shane doesn’t like casual hookups because he knows he needs a lot of aftercare and he doesn’t think he can ask a stranger to do that because he might be Too Much™️ but rose forces him to go out with her and he meets ilya at a bar and they end up going back to shane’s place to have sex and afterwards ilya can tell there’s something that’s bothering shane and ilya is afraid that he hurt him or that shane regrets it but shane ends up telling ilya that it’s because his brain does this annoying thing after sex sometimes and the only thing that really helps is being physically close to someone like lay on top of me and crush me close and he’s like thanks for having sex with me i understand if you have to go and ilya’s heart breaks a little for this guy he just met with these beautiful bambi eyes so he’s like lay down i will lay on top of you and crush you for as long as you want

[synkcity]

🏆 Some Hollanov Fics I'm Obsessed with (so far!) 🏆

I've read a lot of Hollanov fics and I wanted to share some of my favorites.

Shane Hollander Goes Casual (so cool and unbothered) by self_cursed [26.6k words | 13 chapters]

Set sometime after Sochi. Shane, seeing Ilya with other people, decides to play the field a bit himself. Of course Ilya crashes out about it. Angsty but a happy ending of course.

Love In The Dark by azraelriego [250k words | 21 chapters]

Post Break-Up/Getting Back Together. My absolute favorite non-traditional A/B/O and Mpreg fic. I have re-read this so many times, I can almost recite in my sleep.

Grin and Bear It by giveemhale [9.6k words | 2 chapters]

Do you wanna see Shane crash out? This is the fic for you. There are so few fics (that I have found at least) that deal with Shane actually sitting with the horrors that have happened to him after he and Ilya are outed and frankly, shit he's had to put with his whole life. This fic nails it.

Operation O Canada, or The Hollander-Rozanov Method of Soft Launching a Marriage by robbinscinquefoil [118.8k words | 8 chapters]

Basically, what if "I could marry Svetlana." for citizenship turned into Shane proposing marriage instead?

death and taxes (and shane hollander) by fingersfallingupwards [68k words | 12 chapters]

Angsty, second chance, old man yaoi. This fic HURT. Happy ending of course, but also bittersweet.

play destroy by kneeinjury [11.k words]

Ilya fucks Shane's girlfriend to get his attention. I have re-read this fic often. I get it, Ilya. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

courage [it couldn't come at a worse time] by veilofimagination [81.9k words | 9 chapters]

I mean no offense when I say this, but as far as I'm concerned, this is The Long Game.

hi shane, is this still available? by tunamelt (bbang1z) [6.6k words]

An AMAZING mixed media fic. I'm awe at what creators can do on AO3. Highly recommend the second piece in the series!

Meant To Be by azraelriego [260k+ words | 27/40 chapters]

Another A/B/O fic. No, this fic is not finished, yes, it is on the list. Marriage of connivence that turns into more.

Déjà vu by NotEvenCloseToStraight [350k+ words | WIP]

Again, no, this fic is not finished and yes, it is worthy of this list, even in its current state. Second chance romance. Ilya ghosts Shane after Vegas and they reunite 10 years later. This fic is so so SO good. Angsty as hell but the author has promised a happy ending.

(hopelessly) waiting for your love by attfna [63.6k words | 11 chapters]

An AU where Shane's brain made up Hollanov's entire relationship while he was unconscious recovering from a brain injury. This was such a cool, unique plot!

it’s the terror of knowing what this world is about by PrincessAmericaChavez [29.7k words | 10 chapters]

Shane, Ilya and a bunch of MHL players are taken hostage during the MHL awards in Las Vegas. Another pretty unique plot. This fic was one hell of a ride!

your eyes, they turn me by Cookiebycookie [66k words | 10 chapters]

At 20, Shane retires and goes to college at Harvard. Hollanov happens anyway. Something about this fic is so....cozy. I loved how Shane changed and grew as a person in this fic. It's how I imagine canon!Shane would have been had he had time to be more of person and less of a brand.

to build a home by foxriverblues [22.3k words | 4 chapters]

Childhood friends to lovers fic! Ilya and Shane grew up together in Canada, but after Irina's passing, Ilya's father moves the family back to Russia. 18 years later, Shane comes across Ilya's account on Instagram.

This list is getting long so I'll probably do a part 2 sometime later!

[elisaholies]

19 HR fic recs

Clean Sweep by @theburialofstrawberries | 29K | Shane’s brain cycled rapidly through a half-dozen celebrities, porn actors, Grindr profiles, every attractive bartender who’d ever served him a beer, trying to find a comparison for this level of outrageously concentrated beauty in one person, but he was drawing a blank. The man—Ilya Rozanov, Facilities Attendant, his badge read—gestured around the supply closet. “I help you find something?”| I'm pretty sure everyone and their mother has already read this, because it spread like wildfire through my circle...if you have been living under a rock, somehow, this is  a canon-divergent AU set during the 2017-18 MLH season. Shane is Shane and Ilya is a janitor. This is totally going to be a classic in the fandom! So, SO good. Amazing characterisation and I love how the author remixed the main beats of canon and all the slight and big changes in this AU really work.

Don't stop believing (hold on to that feeling) | 33K | A series of vignettes following Shane's relationship with music through the medium of karaoke, set along the timeline of his relationship with Ilya.| I urge you to give this fic a chance, because going on the summary alone I honestly was very sceptical. And I shouldn't have been! I would have never imagined a story about Shane Hollander and bloody karaoke could be this good.

white collar crimes | 21K | So Shane Hollander is, how do you say in English, a dirty little thief. A clothing thief, to be precise. Ilya can't say he saw that coming, but he also can't pretend he's all that mad about it. His shirt looks good on his Shane. On Shane. On Hollander. Right. His shirt looks good on Hollander.|  Set during the situationship. Great characterisation and banter and feelings. Second chapter is my fave but it's all very good.

No Friction, Just Chemistry | 20K | After leaving behind his last job, Ilya threw himself into a new profession: making and selling all things one can pickle. His week revolved around the Sunday farmer's market. Everything seemed simple and predictable until a new vendor arrived late in the season.| I normally don't do full AUs but Vee is a genius and I'd trust them to hell and back. This was the perfect rom-com version of Hollanov. Cute, fun and in-character. It also comes as a podfic, read by the author, and that's always a big plus for me. 

so you must like me for me by @alasse9 | 36.2K | It turns out, having the worst thing you can think of happen to you when you're seventeen years old can end up being pretty liberating. And land you an unexpected best friend.| Shane is outed before the draft, goes seventh and ends up in Ottawa. Best friends to lovers, a trope I really like that somehow works really well for Hollanov. Sweet and earnest.

(Oh I believe in) Yesterday | 9.4K | Time loops are just a fact of life to Wyatt, insane as that sounds. He’ll happily settle in for a repeat day every couple of weeks. Chances are he’ll wake up tomorrow morning and go to regularly scheduled practice. A teammate probably pissed off their wife, which is an easily fixed problem. Or, the Wyatt-Hayes-centric-time-loop-Boxing-Day-fight-fix-it-fic| A super a fun and original take on the time loop trope! Love Wyatt as our POV character, he's so well-written and his relationship with Lisa is just lovely.

All Love Must Leave but Search For It I Will | 23K | A shoulder injury takes Ilya out for the season ten games into his second year with the Ottawa Centaurs. With one good arm and an empty house, Ilya battles with memories of his parents and his mental health.| Good depiction of depression (I have a thing for stories that explore Ilya's mental health). Great characterisation.

babies born in the month of may by @bitterbloodyorange | 5K | Yuna Hollander and the Art of Raising a Winner Without Giving Him (or Yourself) Too Much of a Complex About It; Ilya Rozanov's Incomprehensive Guide to Charming Your Stoned Boyfriend| Really lovely Yuna character exploration.

multitasking by @emotional-synth-music| 7.3K | *I am in hell, Ilya thinks. He's awkwardly hard in his cup and layers of gear. He can't focus. How the fuck is Hollander functioning like this? Is he actually so gifted at hockey that he can play at this level and still have space to let the sex demon in his brain run rampant? Is this what he's like all the time? *|Crack treated seriously. Ilya can suddenly hear Shane's thoughts. Hot and so lovely.

when you leave here by @iddayidnight | 8K | “It just feels like such a nothing story," Shane says. "But my mom’s so fucking... worked up about it.”  Ilya watches him. “I think,” he says carefully, “that your mom is also the parent of a teenage boy who played on that hockey team. And not just the manager of a person who is being asked for comment on a bad story. Yes?”  (Shane was fifteen years old when he moved to Sarnia.)| Extremely painful to read but extremely good fic about hockey culture. Inspired by We Breed Lions (which I discovered and read thanks to this fandom, obvs). Amazing characterisation.

Pencil in the Rest | 87K | Scent patches were mandatory for anyone participating in World Junior's, but a lot of the Russian guys Shane saw in the hotel or around the rink had them loosely attached to their necks or not quite centered over their scent gland. Shane had been on his way to his parents' car when the wind shifted, and he smelled that Rozanov, leaning against the wall and not-at-all-surreptitiously fishing a carton of cigarettes out of his pocket, must have been one of them.| Omegaverse with fully realised world-building and great characterisation. Excellent use of the soulmate trope. Unputdownable.And I say it as someone who's usually meh on both these tropes.

winning streak by @citrusses | 9.1K  | Everyone hates All-Stars. If anyone asks, Shane does, too.| Perfect, perfect Shane characterisation. Ilya is amazing too, but we are in Shane's head here. What All Stars means for our unhinged duo during the situationship era.

Shane As It Ever Was by @@exactphoify | 7.1K | Ilya wakes with no memory after an eventful night. Or maybe it wasn’t eventful. He doesn’t remember, that’s the problem.|Time travel fic. Short and sweet. And hot. Lovely.

oh well, I guess we're gonna find out! by @angel-deux-writes | 95K | Shane leaves that Vegas penthouse suite feeling wretched, and like an idiot, and like he never wants to see Ilya Rozanov again. Except, well. Then there are zombies.|Again, this took fandom over by storm for a reason, but if you haven't read it yet, my bookmark reads "OMG. Zombie apocalypse AU. Fucking perfect."

here we are and what the hell are we going to do with it | 24K | “Shane.” Ilya takes Shane’s head in his hands, squeezes his cheeks so that Shane looks puffy, absurd. Beloved. “I am saying that to me, even though you are retired, you will always be No. 1 hockey player. Fuck Wayne Gretzky.” That’s what does it, as Ilya knew it would. Shane rears back, spluttering, outraged, trying not to laugh. “Oh, I have committed blasphemy now. They will take back my citizenship, big crime, very sad.” Shane smoothes his hands along Ilya’s calves, rests his fingertips on Ilya’s ankles. “Fuck Wayne Gretzky,” he says. He looks like he can’t believe what he’s saying. Ilya wonders, distantly, if he can get it on tape to play back to himself when things feel particularly bleak. “We can live in exile together. I don’t care. You’re my, my best, my second best hockey player forever too.”| Probably the best 'Shane has to retire and comes to term with it all' fic out there. Excellent characterisation all around, I love that this was plenty angsty without being over the top.

Dance Yrself Clean | 3.3K  | Two summers, nine years apart, and the changes they bring| Really good Ilya character study.

clouds in my coffee | 7.4K | A scandal breaks. Rose drives to Ottawa, to be not-alone.| A fic in which Rose gets some of the care and comfort she deserves.

When I Walk Into The Room, I Do Not Light It Up. Fuck. | 12.2K  | Transitions are hard for Shane. Joining his husband's team turns out not to be an exception to that rule.| Shane struggles to adapt to Ottawa. Amazing Shane POV. Lots of hockey, which makes it all much more grounded and interesting.

Fracture and Collapse by @ilyapasta | 66K | Shane gets hurt three days before playoffs begin. It's nothing to worry about, really.| Really lovely and complex, layered exploration of who Ilya and Shane are, both individually and as a couple, in the wake of a potentially career-ending injury for Shane.

[hollanovarchive]

hi!! i apologize if this has already been asked, but i looked through your page and didn’t find anything - i was wondering if you knew of any fake/pretend relationship fics where they pretend to date for whatever reason and end up falling in love? kinda like the movie The Proposal if you’ve seen it? thank you for all that you do :)

ohhhhh I love this. Here is a list for you (:

Fake/Pretend Relationship

🏒 playing the waiting game | 1.1k

Shane is tired of his mother trying to set him up on dates since he came out to her. His best friend Rose gives him the idea of a fake boyfriend, there enters his so called rival Ilya Rozanov, who had a crush on Shane since their rookie year.

🏒 are you lonely just like me? | 2.0k

Shane is a high end escort who gets a mysterious request for a boyfriend experience that requires out of town travel from an I. Roz. Intrigued, he accepted the request and is surprised to find out who his mystery man is.

🏒 church bells, wedding rings | 6.8k

 Ilya and Shane get (fake) married for papers

🏒 call me maybe | 8.3k

“I’m not lonely, mom. I have a boyfriend!” Unfortunately, Shane does not, in fact, have a boyfriend.

🏒 better than your ex | 10.7k

when Yuna insists on setting Shane up with yet another guy, he says he’s already in a relationship and accidentally drops the name of the most unbearable person on earth. Now they have to spend Christmas together in Ottawa

🏒 why don’t we just play pretend (‘cause what if I never love again?) | 16.6k

the fake dating hollanov fic, in which Shane desperately wants his ex to think that he's no longer hung up on him and his rival Ilya Rozanov is more than happy to help.

🏒 Public Relations | 18.2k

The MLH needed good PR after another scandal. What better way to promote inclusivity than by forcing its two biggest rivals into a long-term and stable relationship?

🏒 Fake dating | 19.7k

“Is not a big deal, Hollander, you need fake boyfriend and I get a trip to, where was it, Kauai?” Ilya grinned. “It would be nice to take a week off and enjoy the sun.”

🏒 and i think i’d miss you, even if we’d never met | 23.5k

Shane Hollander refuses to show up to Rose Landry’s wedding alone after having his heart broken by the man-of-honour. Enter Ilya Rozanov, charming date-for-hire and possibly the hottest man Shane has ever seen. Shane needs him to play the perfect boyfriend for just one weekend.

🏒 damage control (with benefits) | 28.6k

When a college dean’s homophobic comments threaten to cost Northlake University its main sponsors (and therefore its entire hockey program), campus golden boys Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are asked to fake-date for damage control.

🏒 bad idea, right? | 30.5k

After making up a fake boyfriend so his teammates would stop setting him up on dates, Shane is suddenly faced with the task of finding a real one on short notice in order to avoid humiliation

🏒 (and i want these words to) make things right | 42.7k

When Rozanov’s Russian team doesn’t want to let him return to the MLH after the 2012-13 lockout, Shane finds himself pulled into a harebrained scheme to make sure his rival is safe – and it might just work. Now he only has to navigate a secret pretend relationship while also facing the condensed MLH season. But needs must, right?

🏒 Just Go With It (Hollanov Remix) | 51.5k

Ilya asks Shane to pretend to be his soon-to-be-ex-husband so he can get a girlfriend.

🏒 Babe for the Weekend - Hollanov | 52.0k

The one where Shane accidentally lets his coworkers assume Ilya is his boyfriend and instead of telling them the truth, he convinces Ilya to play along for the weekend.

🏒 The Game Plan | 64.0k

No one will ever suspect, let alone find out, that the NHL’s greatest rivals are secretly married. And there’s certainly no risk of feelings getting involved. They have a game plan.

🏒 Terms of Agreement | 90.5k

When the Hollanders face a financial crisis that might end in bankruptcy, Shane finds himself agreeing to a deal that forces him into proximity with his archenemy to save his parents' legacy

🏒 With or Without You | 109k

the one where that one night in Vegas gets a little out of hand for Ilya and Shane and a marriage by accident could turn into one of convenience. And maybe, something more

🏒 The Rozanov Rose: No Feelings, No Exceptions. 🌹❤️🌹  | 112k

fake dating • secrecy • loving someone who was never going to choose you • happy ending, I promise 💔➡️❤️ • 🔥🔥🔥

🏒 Unplanned Affection | WIP

Shane tells Rose and Hayden he is in a relationship so he asks his fuck buddy Ilya Rozanov to be his (fake) boyfriend

🏒 boyfriend for hire | WIP

Shane Hollander makes a small mistake: he tells his family he has a boyfriend. Now he just has to find one. Enter Ilya Rozanov, his roommate, who needs money and has no problem pretending for a few days.

🏒 no net ensnares me | WIP

shane hollander presents as an omega after his first game following the NHL draft. in a desperate bid to keep his mouth shut, he meets with ilya rozanov who surprises him with an offer he’d be remiss to refuse

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[bambicoded]

AU where instead of doing the tuna melt thing, ilya decides to move to ottawa. he doesn't think that dropping The Boyfriend Audition on shane will work, so he decides to do it slowly, and if he's closer, he can coax shane into meeting up between games. a two hour drive to get fucked is something shane will do, and ilya knows it. it's a bit far, but it's in the realm of things that he knows hollander is willing to let himself indulge in, because he knows that shane's a slut and doesn't let himself go enough-- ilya being closer will be like catnip for hmim, he's sure of it.

and so he leaves the bears at the end of the 2015/16 season, and he sees shane more often, and he starts slowly pushing for a little more between them. he's taking his time leaving shane's house. when shane's at his, he's giving him snacks he knows shane likes for hte drive home. he's drwing conversation out. and then you have the rest of the afternoon free. nap here before drive. you will fall asleep at the wheel and eventually, its late, hollander, you can drive back tomorrow morning, yes?

somewhere in here, ilya's dad dies and once he gets back from russia, he stays at shane's for two days and they don't talk about why he's come to shanes, but they fuck and shane cooks for him and it's so nice. they don't talk about it afterwards. and maybe the hit on the ice happens, and shane has all that time off, and so whenever ilya's at home for a game, he's sneaking off to give shane some relief from his parents' heavy worry and so he's seeing shane so often that he feels drunk on it.

and so by the time scott hunter comes out, they're almost something. they regularly eat together before one of them leaves. every so often, shane will stay at ilya's if it gets really later, and then ilya gets to wake up to the sound of his blender that he never uses. they watch the game sometimes. once, shane came over and ilya got him to stay and watch a fast and furious movie after they'd gotten off.

and nowwe have two optioins:

post-huntergate, ilya's ready to have the conversation about them, maybe shane beats him to it. it's like the conversation in tampa, but without ilya having been in the torture nexus a-la rosegate.

or maybe ilya treis to tuna melt him, but it goes awry the way it did in canon, and then rose landry, and then the conversation from all-stars happens some other way.

[elisaholies]

12 HR fic recs

Wins Above Replacement | 9.5K | Ilya tries to take on Shane's tendency to deprive himself by using ancient Chinese military strategy.| No one writes sex-as-character-work as well as mcshrug. What a banger of a story.

the top 1% (of lovers) | 3.5K | “You’ve slept with eight hundred women,” Shane says. He’s a bit pink in the cheeks, but that might just be the arousal. “I did the math."| Hot, funny and in character. Shane!!! Lol.

Tin Roof Rusted by @lavenderprose | 5K| Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander are twenty, on top of the world, and a little irresponsible about it. This is the crash.| I normally don't go for omegaverse fic, but I really like this author and I'm so glad I have this a chance. It has fantastic world-building and it's not afraid to delve into the discrimination and society implications of omegaverse. Interesting OCs too.

if you're scared of wolves by @anotherwordfortrouble |92K | **| My note for this fic is a laconic but hopefully enticing enough 'Best time loop fic ever'. I should probably re-read it. I do I trust my self from 3 weeks ago, when I bookmarked it, though. :D

i looked over it and i ached by @isvsworld | 7.8K | “I don’t really think about stuff like that,” Shane replies in interviews, his lips wooden at the words. OR Shane and being haafu, 2nd gen, and Asian.| Those of you who have enjoyed my themed rec post on Shane's Japanese heritage should run, don't walk, to read this story! Because this explores Shane's heritage and racial identity and without shying away from the complexity of it all, including how it intersects with Ilya's (white, European) immigrant experience.

a pigsty built for two | 9.8K | Shane and Ilya get rid of their housekeepers as part of their plan to keep their relationship secret. Ilya discovers that keeping a house clean is easier said than done.| Funny and in character. I especially love Shane's backstory here. Shows the massive privilege these guys have in a fun way. If I were Ilya I probably wouldn't find this all as funny, tbh, but the characterisation for both of them makes it work for me here.

Performance enhancing strategies by @dubiousculturalartifact | 5.1K | The Shane Hollander Is Fucking Ilya Rozanov and Will Accept No Further Questions, Team Powerpoint Presentation| Shane comes out to the Voyageurs and it all goes well. It involves a PowerPoint, an adorable rookie and a locker-roomful of dumb hockey bros. Sweet and funny. It should have gone this way, damn, Shane totally deserved it.

Small Hours by @lavenderprose | 4.6K | Thoughts on a marriage; or, things that might have happened.| Err, normally I make a note when I bookmark a story, precisely because then it's easier to make a proper rec even weeks after bookmarking ..I didn't this time. And my memory is crap. And now I have no time to re-read but Lavenderprose is a great writer and that shall be enough, as recs go.

A Healthy Dose of Fear | 5.4K | Five times Shane scares the Centaurs, and one time he (accidentally) terrifies them.| A great take on a harder/meaner Shane than usual (especially when Ilya is involved).

symptoms may include pain and difficulty breathing | 2.1K | Ilya is injured but tries not to show it. Shane notices anyway.| Ilya deserves to be taken care of. This was so sweet and hot and in character.

Expert in a Dying Field by @bluegrasshole | 10.3K | Today is Tuesday, but it might as well be Wednesday or Thursday for all it matters. It’s a real Groundhog Day situation, Shane thinks, only Ilya isn’t aware and Shane doesn’t care about breaking the time loop, too content with their life to make any changes.| Future fic. Shane and Ilya are old. They've got...health issues. Amazing Shane POV. This is so heartbreaking and beautifully written. Made me actually cry and I'm not someone easily moved.

beware: walked dog may bite by @ilyaelizabeth | 13.8K | Five times Ilya gets in a fight for Shane, and the one time Shane gets in a fight for Ilya.|Well-written 5+1 story. Great characterisation.

[lavenderprose]

Shane is the best hockey player on the goddamn planet and nobody knows this better than his husband, who plays on the same team as him and is privy to all of his overlapping intricate rituals and basically fucking grew up with him and is so fucking proud and smug of the fact that he's married to the best hockey player on the planet that sometimes he zones out in public with his eyes in the middle distance and the most self-satisfied smirk on his face and his hand shoved deep in the back pocket of Shane Hollander Hometown Hero Hockey Jesus' jeans.

"You can't make that face in public," Shane hisses, and Ilya squeezes the part of Shane's body he's got lovingly cupped in his hand and that, for some reason, is worthy of some clickbait on TMZ where Shane looks bored out of his mind because he's going to that place in the back of his brain where he used to hide from all of his desires and now mostly just uses as a way to avoid crying or getting hard in public. Next to him, Ilya just looks fucking smug. Because he's got his hand on the ass of the best player in the NHL.

(Second-best ass, though. Ilya knows where his assets lie.)

Ilya also knows with no hint of uncertainty that he can never tell Shane that he knows that he is the best hockey player in the entire fucking world. Shane once told him that when Ilya told him so, that night at the 2021 All-Star Weekend, he'd gotten the ick so hard that he'd almost asked Ilya to pull out.

"The Ick?" Ilya said. "What is this, the Ick? Like you were grossed out--"

"I dunno, kind of? Like when something turns you off, takes you out of the sex--Rose said it's called the Ick--"

"Is called a turn-off, Hollander, fuck! What is this fucking...the Ick..."

("You are a curse on my fucking marriage," Ilya tells Rose, some time later, and she smiles serenely and tops off his already impressively full wine glass while Shane yells incoherantly about the Detroit team captain's machinations to be traded to one of the Florida teams in exchange for what Shane is only referring to as 'PISS AND SHIT' but is apparently, Ilya gleans through context clues, a rookie center and two retirement-age defensemen)

So Ilya knows that he's married to the best hockey player in the league. He also knows that if he tells him this, stops competing in any way for the label, that it will read to Shane as some kind of pity, some kind of gentle acquiescence, and that Shane will get so mad about it and so sexually disappointed that Ilya may have to crawl into Anya's dog house with her and earn his spot back in his marital bed via a series of labors that would make Hercules himself lie down and die.

He can't even brag about this shit to other people because those people inevitably cannot keep their mouths shut. His marriage almost fucking ends one night in November because Ilya is engaging in some lighthearted negging with his own fucking husband and the idiot in the seat across from them on the bus (Formerly known as Troy Barrett, but Ilya is taking those privileges away until Fucking Idiot learns from his mistakes) says, "That's not what you said the other day, Roz," and then physically flinches because Shane turns a look onto him that could peel paint and Ilya immediately begins manifesting Troy's imminent and perpetual stubbed toe.

"Oh my God," Troy says, out loud at the looks. "All I meant is that Rozy told me he knows you're the best player in the league, Hollander. He's proud of you."

"Shut up," Ilya says. "Barrett, I will literally kill you."

"What is happening."

"Don't touch me," Shane says, when Ilya puts a hand on his knee.

"Baby," Ilya croons, "Baby, no. Your edges were shit tonight. That fall you took in the third period? Fucking embarrassing. You looked like a fucking turtle. Cute and helpless. Maybe you needed a big Russian man to help you--"

"Not in the mood," Shane says firmly. Ilya begins plotting Fucking Idiot's goddamn demise.

Will be murdering your boyfriend Ilya texts Harris after an hour spent staring at the back of Shane's neck while he lays on the edge of the bed with his phone in front of his face and his arms crossed. Sorry not sorry.

Harris doesn't reply. Doesn't even read the stupid text.

Ilya throws his phone to the end of the bed and rolls over, shoves a hand down the back of Shane's pants, massages his asscheek.

"Ilya," Shane says, warningly

"I tell you what you are the best at," Ilya murmurs into the back of his neck. He sinks his teeth in, sucks a kiss over the mark.

"Don't wanna hear it," Shane snaps. "I don't need you to pay me fucking lip service. I need you to keep showing people that we're not going soft on each other. We need to keep playing our best, we can't get complacent, we can't--"

"You," Ilya growls, "are the best fucking hole in the NHL." He yanks Shane's sweatpants down over the curve of his ass.

"Oh," Shane says, all of the wind out of his sails. "Fuck."

"So good at taking cock," Ilya continues. Hand between Shane's thighs, smoothing warm and firm on the soft skin inside, broad side of his thumb nudging the silky skin of Shane's sac, a warm and plush place on Shane's body that should have Ilya's fucking name written on it because only he ever gets to see or touch it.

"Yeah," Shane says. "Yours. Your cock."

"Prettiest fucking cockslut," Ilya says. "Nobody loves getting fucked like you. Can't even call you a whore because whores expect something in return. You take cock and say thank you. You take cock and ask for more cock."

"Yeah," Shane whines, back arching, phone dark and clattering to the floor. "Fuck. Fuck. Please."

"Say it."

"I want your cock. Please give me your cock. Fuck, can I--"

Ilya flips him completely onto his stomach and looms over him, shoves his own pants down his thighs and slides the throbbing ridge of his cock along the fluttering pucker of Shane's hole.

"Tell me what a good slut you are, Hollander."

"I'm--I'm a good slut--"

Ilya slaps his ass, hard, slides a finger into his crease and rubs dry at his hole and watches the muscles in Shane's back go crazy.

"Fucking tell me what you are, Hollander."

"I'm the best slut," Shane says, almost incoherant in the pillow. "Fuck, fuck, I'm the--the best cockslut in the world--"

Ilya shuffles down, spreads Shane's cheeks apart with his thumbs dug ungently in until flesh wells up on either side, white-red mottled with blood that will burst and bruise. He spits on his hole, watches it clench.

"They should call that thing the Hall of Fame," Ilya growls.

"Oh my God," Shane babbles. "Oh my God."

("Who asked this?" Ilya asks, microphones in his face after their game the following night. "Why are we talking in riddles? What was the question again?"

"Do you feel increased scrutiny from hockey fans now that Hollander is on the team with you? By most metrics, Hollander is the best player in the league, and it's hard not to draw direct comparisons between your records and play styles in light of Hollander's transfer to the Centaurs, not to mention your former rivalry and marriage. Are you feeling the pressure?"

"Hah," Ilya says. "First mistake is assuming that rivalry is over. It is very much alive. Hollander and I still keep score."

"Yeah, it's on a white board in their kitchen," Bood jokes, and the press scrum titters, and Ilya reminds himself that Bood is the father of a toddler and that toddlers love to make messes with glittery gifts bought for them by well-meaning hockey uncles.

"Second mistake is calling Hollander best in league," Ilya says, then shrugs, then winks. "Always room for improvement.")

[hr-rep]

I’m always looking for good non-woobified Shane rec’s :] lol @mla-citation

Off The Leash by v197sstuff. This is one that works with against the trope in a very interesting way where the Internet Woobifies & feminizes the fuck outta Shane while the stark reality is kept in focus. If you haven’t read this one, I seriously recommend it.

Gossip Girl by Northisnotup. Vastly different vibe but this looks into Shane’s friendships and makes super clear that he is an Active Participant which I greatly enjoy. Easily one of my favorite Rose fics if that sells it!

falling into you by quinnfuhbeay. A look at what if Shane didn’t leave during the tuna melt scene and instead they entered into a weird phase of unclear relationship status (Ilya thinking they’re boyfriends, Shane thinks they’re just fucking).

Game Day. Ilya keeps dying, time keeps repeating. Shane is, obviously, suffering. A very frank portrayal of what this could do to a person.

Five and a Half Beers and Just as Many Chalupas by Erisenyo. LOVEEEE this fic, I can’t believe I’ve not recommended it before. Such awesome characterization, the premise is Shane getting to know the Centaurs & they realize he’s entirely different from what they expected. Seriously seriously enjoyed reading it and I routinely go back and reread for the love of the game.

[pastainhismouth]

have we considered monk!shane and merchant!ilya

shane is living his best and most soothing autistic life in the monastery. ilya sells the monastery's beer and is their only real conduit to the outside world. he brings gifts and stories and his visits are an important event in the monastery calendar. he flirts atrociously but shane doesn't notice he's just uncomplicatedly happy to see him every year, they talk about brewing techniques and the herbs and vegetables the monastery is growing, ilya has good beer opinions and bad vegetable opinions and shane loves to hear them all and chastise him about the carrots. sometimes shane talks about religion or ilya talks about trade and they listen respectfully, learning each others' loves

eventually he realises his body is more involved in this situation than he'd realised and doesn't know what to do. not sure what happens next but god tells him to make love with ilya, he gets to keep religion and love and sex and gardening and ilya feels like the luckiest man alive