Get Shwifty

I'm Flynn. Poly pan trans dad. 💉11-22-16💉 I literally am only here to reblog a bunch of shit and then disappear.

[sygol]

Hi I'm 1 years old and learning to read through your posts. Cigarette.

very good job using your words! will someone get this toddling bitch a smoke

[insertcoolthinghere]

Hi there 👋,

My name is Mohammad, and I’m reaching out in a moment of desperate need. I’m a father of three young children living in Gaza, and we are caught in the midst of a catastrophic war. Our home is no longer a safe haven, and the future here seems increasingly uncertain. 💔

I’ve launched a fundraising campaign with the goal of raising $40,000 to relocate my family to a safer place where my children can grow up in peace and have a chance at a brighter future. 🕊️🇵🇸

Unfortunately, my previous fundraising efforts were abruptly halted when my account was terminated without explanation. However, I remain determined to keep fighting for my family’s safety and well-being. 🫶

If you could take a moment to read our story, consider donating, or simply share our campaign with others, it would make an incredible difference. Every act of kindness, no matter how small, brings us one step closer to safety and a new beginning. 🙏

Thank you for your time, compassion, and support. ❤

https://gofund.me/fd1faea2 🔗

I know most of my followers are bots, but if you have the time to donate or share this along that would be wonderful. I’ll donate soon as I can.

[fairycosmos]

you actually don’t have to go on dating apps to find girlfriends. many beautiful women are waiting for you on rocks out at sea

[doing-90mph-in-central-london]

ⓘ This user is a malicious entity made of seafoam.

[eccentricecologist]

Out of my way, bothersome footnote, I’m about to get it

[dark-deathrage]

you're a stupid fucking anti-sjw lol. This blog is stupid. I hate you crackers white people SUCK go suck a dick.

looks like I triggered more sjws. Keep sending these asks they only fuel my logic. 

[ulysseus]

Never forget the guy who didn’t remember to hit anon before sending himself hate mail

[pyrose-the-flame]

Love that we’re still dragging the poor fuckers corpse around years later so no one ever forgets their shameful mistake lol

[feraligatr]

whenever i’m having a conversation at work and someone says something g remotely questionable i just start googling it to like fact check. and my coworkers always look at me because they know i’ve already started googling it

[yuriwinged]

“bnuuy” “ouppy” and “kbity” are sisters to me

[typhus-andronicus]

[achesspiece]

i bet in heaven they're still on 3g phone service because they have to purify all the technology of sin but in hell they've got fucking 7g just blasting terabytes worth of the hottest demon porn right into your prostate

[achesspiece]

wait this was meant for my drafts

[achesspiece]

what i'm gathering from the response to this post is that i shouldn't hold back so much

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

One of my favorite thing I’ve learned about animals studies is that you should avoid using colorful leg bands when you’re banding birds because you can accidentally completely skew the data because female birds prefer males with colorful bands

Apparently if you put a red band on a male red wing blackbird his harem size can double

So like you can completely frick up the natural reproduction of a group of birds by giving a guy a bracelet so stylish that females CANNOT resist him

[volcanokids]

Me, putting a red bracelet on the leg of a male red wing blackbird: ON GOD we gonna get u some pussy bro

[jordisstigander]

I remember reading a study where researchers realized that female birds of a certain species preferred males with a darker breast. So they created what they literally called a “Super-Sexy Male” by catching a male and coloring his chest with a marker. They then ran dna tests on the eggs in the area.

Previously when the researchers had run these tests, they found a certain amount of infidelity was common for these birds. Somewhere around 10% of eggs were fathered by males who were not the primary mates of females.

After the advent of the Super Sexy Male, however, stuff got crazy in bird world. Infidelity skyrocketed, with upwards of 25% of ALL EGGS in the area being fathered by this specific male. Furthermore, his mate’s eggs were 100% his.

This is just insane to me. Just imagine you’re living your bird life when suddenly somebody scribbles on Dave’s chest and the ladies can’t stop throwing themselves at them. It’s stupid that we theoretically can wreck this kind of havoc on an ecosystem.

[kirkspocker]

via @elytrians

[butterfly-sapphic]

It’s back! I think about this post monthly

[teaboot]

Aliens abduct me from a cornfield only to set me back down at the club with a sick leather jacket and some shades

[planet4546b]

i will never in my whole life not be emotional about how many times cara mia shows up in the portal soundtrack. the fact its in the SOUND of the hardlight bridges is the most bonkers thing in the whole world. man. portal.

[planet4546b]

portal is a game about being in a place that you hate so goddamn much that you start tearing at the walls to get out and its a place that hates YOU and is incredibly deeply dangerous and wants you DEAD and you end up in a horrible stalemate where the aperture facility is a shambling corpse full of rotten water and decay that is TRYING to pull itself back together but of course you could never, never escape it and then you realize its built on its own goddamn bones like 4 times over and every previous iteration is just as mean and nasty and just as empty and has just as much implied hurt in it and then it LETS YOU GO in the single most viscreal scene in any video game ever and its as you leave you realize its been singing to you the entire time. the aperture facility is a haunted house!!!!! god!!!!

[kianamaiart]

Based off of @turbobyakuren’s amazing text post on twitter!

[calware]

things that instantly kill the vibe whenever someone just mentions them:

harry potter

nfts

[eyjalinsunshine]

i was so scared to click this, i thought someone had made a harry potter nft

[calware]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

please stop forgiving my sins I worked so hard on those

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"your sins have been forgiven my child" bitch do u know how much PLANNING--

[bananapantsz]

Teaching him all the people in the family

[bananapantsz]

I got tags saying these two would kill to be in the room and all I could think about was that SpongeBob meme

[feraligatr]

jack of no trades. master of fuck all

[irradiatedsnakes]

me: i really dislike my name, i should go by a better name that i like more. like griffin. thats an awesome and very good sounding name that i could identify with

me:

me:

me:

me: but what if people think im griffin mcelroy factkin,

[irradiatedsnakes]

you both make an excellent point

[irradiatedsnakes]

you all were wrong and i was right

[zombeesknees]

I freehanded this stitchery in about 7 hours today for a pal:

It was, of course, inspired by this post:

[northshorewave]