interesting title here

| they/she/he | nerd | terminally, chronically, uncontrollably silly |

[folk-punk]

how can you eat the fried hearts of something that once was alive and had a beating heart? do you feel any guilt? i hope you do.

please google what an artichoke is

[angel-derangement]

a pre-history murder mystery

[recuperationdisliker]

thing abt being some sort of dyke or lesbo is that you find yourself talking about girls with girls. clear conflict of interest, there.

[recuperationdisliker]

so instead of saying "i would love to have sex with several of my close friends" in dms with a close friend, because that would make it a bit awkward, i instead say it here in front of like, everyone

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

reblog this post to say "i would love to have sex with several of my close friends."

send this post to a friend in DMs to let them know you're thinking of them specifically

[femmchantress]

I don’t care if Monday’s yuck

Tuesday, Wednesday tread through muck

Thursday maybe eat a duck

It’s Friday, Flat as Fuck

[tamamita]

Not how things work

[stonesense]

totally i understand narratively why project hail mary ends with grace becoming a teacher again but ever since i saw the movie i haven’t been able to stop thinking about what a crazy move it is from the eridian perspective. like imagine if we had one (1) alien on earth and we liked him so much that we just let him have a class of schoolchildren to teach all the brand new alien science to, for fun. what’s the selection process for that classroom. do the adult eridian scientists wish they were in there

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

after all the hype for project hail mary i was pretty bummed they immediately defaulted to male language for the alien character of unknown biology. sir that is not a he/him it is a SENTIENT ROCK

[youhqveamazingart]

im not woke enough for this app

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[lemon-labia]

polyamory is awesome you can tell your girlfriend about your crush

[tgirl-tamag0tchi]

polyamory is terrible, your girlfriend can tease you about your crush.

[muzzlesbian]

these kinks are getting weirder and weirder what the fuck is “clickbait”

[cock-holliday]

so so crazy to hear the conversation in the US about "if employees get 1 or god forbid two whole weeks of vacation they will all drop their jobs and leave forever" when all my european friends have jobs with like 3+ week minimum vacation time. Some as many as 6. I know of people with 8 weeks of vacation because they're past a certain age.

"is 10 days of vacation time too much" jump off a fuckin bridge you hack journalist

[otrebot]

Growing pains

[bruzum]

[wenlokholmes]

sorry, prev, your tags are too true to be silenced

[lizardho]

Ok, so, bottom surgery recovery is going ~splendidly~ tbh, I’ve been off opioids basically all week, she’s healing well, she even looks pretty which at under the one-month mark is making me feel pretty optimistic. The only problems it’s giving me are that sometimes if I see something really gross it makes my body feel like it’s trying to suck itself inward from my vagina, like a black hole generated by the power of “ew ew ew,” and that healing is really tiring so I’m like…always sleepy. But tbh most of bottom surgery recovery has been peaceful, I’ve had a lot of time to do some self-reflection (which I hate, doing my own therapy as a patient suuuuuucks), BUT, I do have one funny story:

Right as I wake up there’s a nurse there who hustles over and says he’s glad he saw me wake up and tells me he’s giving me some pain meds and then he gives me IV Fentanyl and so I go from like “Ow ow ow ow awake awake awake” to “ooooooh fuck I’m floating on clouds made of rainbows” in like 6 seconds and so I was pretty out of it. The hospital had all the recently-post op patients all in one big-ass room, and they see patients for ALL sorts of surgeries, so I was next to an old guy who got his knee replaced on one side and some young 30-something dude with some kind of mechanism on his leg. So I asked him what happened since I was high as fuck and feeling kind as a result, and he said he broke his leg hiking off-trail when his leg went down a literal rabbit hole and snapped his shinbone. I say something like “damn dude that blowssssss” while giggling because I’m high as FUCK on actual fentanyl and he’s like “Yeah, for real, I’m feeling great right now though! What about you? What are you in here for?”

And I fully was not thinking like a person, I was thinking like a fentanyl-addled tgirl so I just go “Oh, haha, they cut my dick off!”

And he just kinda stops and is like “Hah-WAIT what? Why?” and I was trying to think of an acceptable answer to tell this cis guy because it’s dawning on me through my drug-induced haze that not everybody wants their penis gone and before I can think of a response two nurses just came up and…wheeled him away. Idk where to, and I don’t think he did either, because he kept looking back at me and frantically asking the nurses where they were taking him and I never gave him an adequate response so he probably thought he was gonna get that “Transgender for Everyone” shit before he was probably actually delivered to whoever his ride home was.

[funstyle]

teenage girls in fiction: hes so cute i wanna slow dance with him at prom :3 hehe

real teenage girls: imagine if he got injured and i had to tend to his wounds and i could watch him seize up a bit as i disinfect them and in the haze of fever he sees me as an angel

[lakemojave]

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

[lakemojave]

Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs

[crabussy]

sometimes I have to stop myself from posting shit like "who made replacing a bike chain so erotic" because I remember the number of people who see my posts and I have to take a step back and reconsider my choices. sometimes I have to hide my true and sincere thoughts in a post about how I'm not posting them because it is funnier this way

[crabussy]

artist's impression

[crabussy]

whatever. it's just reaching between all its delicate parts to wrench out its guts with lots of sweating and straining. while it's upside down and immobilised. and then it's just taking the slick and shiny new chain and feeding it gently through gears and between metal before pulling it taut until the derailleur is extended and the chain clicks into place and can no longer be removed. I; think I'm bicycle. I mean bisexual

[boringkate]

Everyone wants to go out for a nice burger, but nobody has any respect for the low wage workers flipping the paddies for them.

Everyone wants internet porn, but nobody has any respect for the workers performing in it for them.

What can we derive from this?

SpongeBob is essentially a sex worker.