a fandom sideblog

what it says on the tin | a mix of whatever i think is cool, expect a lot of omegaverse

[penandinkprincess]

ilya putting shane on blast to yuna and david is making me think of baby shane who LOVES mangoes who can’t have them but doesn’t fully understand WHY he can’t have them

so he creates his own personal system of earning them where if he scores a bunch of goals in peewee practice he gets to eat a mango or if he does well in school or if he cleans his room

yuna finds him in the corner broken out in hives covered in mango juice with the biggest smile on his face and she’s FREAKING out and she and david try to explain to him that no, honey, it’s not that you’re not ALLOWED to eat mangoes it’s that the mangoes are trying to kill you baby

and eventually he gets it and stops eating them but then he gets even older and he realizes this is a risk reward situation and then he comes back full circle to scheduling in/earning his indulgences

and if i said shane at a foundational age internalizing that things that bring him pleasure and joy have to be hidden because otherwise he'll get in trouble

[ilyapasta]

Anyway married Hollanov have a mutual crush on Carter. Like they come home from games and nights out at the Kingfisher like "what a class act Carter is, just a great guy" like gushing about him so sincerely and then they both have a laugh about it and are feeling latent jealously for each other's crush but they both have the crush so neither can get mad lmaoooo

But if Shane has a crush on Carter, and Ilya also has a crush on Carter, WHO'S going to instigate the possessive jealous fuck-fest that they have at least twice during the normal season and at least once during playoffs when they feel like they need to re-stake their claims on each other?

(Sometimes also at the cottage when Shane lingers at the mailbox too long shooting the breeze with the mailman, Ilya waits like a crouching tiger in the entryway)

So instead they pivot (they're so good at pivoting and yes anding each other at this point) and it's one of those nights when Ilya pins Shane to the bed like "We'll bring Vaughan in to watch you, yes? He'd be so nice, so sweet to you while I take what I need? That what you need, Hollander, someone to be nice to you?"

And Shane "has never once wanted Ilya to be nice to him" Hollander will spit back like "It would make for a nice CHANGE," fully baiting Ilya, so then Ilya gets to manhandle Shane onto his belly and just take and take like "I'll show everyone who you belong to" and it's just a nice wholesome evening for them all things considered

[penandinkprincess]

listen i love a little jealous shane as much as the next gal, but i think a funnier and unexplored element is that when they're out in public, ilya is just so obviously wildly uninterested in anyone else if shane is there (and even if he isn't!!) that it's not even like. fucking POSSIBLE to flirt with him.

he wasn't even WITH SHANE YET and he was still in a club giving this beautiful and flirty woman the bitchiest "can i help you???" look of all time because she was interrupting his "reading over my situationship's text thread with me" time.

IN THE CLUB, MIND YOU!!

after he and shane are together??? game OVER.

if shane is there with him before he's had enough and goes home, there could be a three ring circus coming through full of marching bands and full frontal and ilya WOULD. NOT. NOTICE.

HE DOES NOT CARE.

YOU ARE NOT SHANE. GET AWAY FROM HIM.

EW.

[gayhockeyshow]

The existence of Fat Baby Shane implies the existence of Fat Baby Shanelings

-

“Jesus Christ.” Ilya huffed as he seated Iris on his hip. “What the fuck are you feeding her?”

“Language,” Shane scolded as he tidied up the aftermath of Iris’ breakfast smattered across her highchair.

“She’s six months old. Or, maybe, 12 years. I cannot tell because of how huge she is.” Ilya was wiping at her face with a damp cloth while baby Iris squealed and fussed in his arms.

“I was a big baby too…” Shane mused as he finished his scrubbing and put one arm around Ilya, and gave the other to Iris to play with as she pleased. She wrapped a chunky hand around Shane’s pinky and shook it wildly.

“I know, but I thought it was because your parents wanted pro hockey star. Not because it was—“

“Genetic?” Shane cut him off with a knowing smile and leaned in to kiss his husband.

Ilya smirked back. “Yes.” Kiss. “Genetic.”

[creamsiclemelt]

Misogyny and dumbification kink concept: Ilya talking Shane verbally through sex but he's acting like he's totally ignorant of what it is and labelling his body parts as women's parts ("your pretty pussy/little clit/tits/etc") as he explains what he's going to do and what Shane's body is going to be doing for him. Groping him and ramping up what he's doing as he goes. All the way through ramming into him and saying "that's your womb, do you feel it? That's where you're gonna carry my baby for me." 😵‍💫

ok i know a lot of people who like. have cervixes cringe at that stuff unfortunately im a freak and a pervert and a size queen so this made my brain MELT. shane comes when ilya says hes gonna knock shane up and of course that just makes ilya fuck him harder, try to get even deeper

[eastofshane]

To be "doglike" does not usually connote this kind of malice or cruelty [...]. Instead, it suggests an insistent drive, to be fed or satisfied or noticed

[Shane's version]

[unkown || rookies, heated rivalry || || the old shepherd's chief mourner (1837), edwin kandseer || rose, heated rivalry || how to be a dog, andrew kane || dogperson iii, dusty ray || a chained hound eating from a bowl, jan fyt || dinosaur, richard siken || olympians, heated rivalry || more and more, margaret atwood || hounds with dead stag, a hare and other game, in a landscape, david de coninck || sofie, james van fossen || rose, heated rivalry || if feeling isn't in it, john brehm || kuvasz dog wearing a protective collar against wolves || you are so warm, rae klein || i'll believe in anything, heated rivalry || how to be a dod, andrew kane || i'll believe in anything, heated rivalry || the bread we eat in dreams, catherynne m. valente || loyalty, briton riviere (use inspired by @dogsdayilya) || the cottage, heated rivalry || gnaw at the heartbeat, wenyi xue || the cottage, heated rivalry || putting the dog to sleep, the antlers || the odyssey homer (translator's note), translated by emily wilson]

[lucylehane]

I am convinced this is what was happening in this scene

[penandinkprincess]

on the topic of #shallergies I am now enamored with the idea of Shane deciding that he wants to do tolerance training so now every weekend Ilya drives him to the allergist’s office and watches him eat exactly one-fifth of a peanut under medical supervision. it is a very stressful experience for him. he’s pacing and biting his nails while Shane ingests his crumb and plays on his phone for an hour waiting for something to happen. It takes a month to work up to eating one single whole peanut and Ilya’s halfway to premature grey hair by the end of it. he begins to resent the jar of Training Peanuts with the passion of a thousand suns

first of all "Training Peanuts" made me fucking CACKLE

second of all, SO funny to imagine shane deciding to use the summer to start doing this so it won't have an impact on his performance if it goes badly (*ilya voice* and what about impact on your husband? no concern for this?), which means ilya's stress levels are flipping WILDLY over the course of the summer.

yay cottage with husband FUCK these fucking peanuts yay cottage with husband FUCK these fucking peanuts yay cottage with hu-

[penandinkprincess]

the kicker being that it turns out shane doesn't even like peanuts

texture of peanut butter is Bad and the taste is meh

he tries a reese's at ilya's suggestion and is just "that's it??? the allergy ones you make me are way better"

[junkdrawertales]

the problem with Reese’s is that the best peanut-free alternative is Trader Joe’s sunflower seed cups (I’ve tried every brand. This is the one) and there is no Trader Joe’s in Canada so every time the Centaurs are in the States for a game Shane finds the nearest TJ’s and buys their entire stock

[penandinkprincess]

extremely charmed by the idea of it being A Thing that like. ALL of the cens end up with a random pack of sunflower seed cups in their luggage for the flight home because ilya and shane ran out of space in theirs and ilya will just knock on doors, hand them over, go "you will need to smuggle this across border for team morale thank you" and then walk off

[thisisaboutusnow]

"Princess Diana!"

[ilyasmole]

i call coke zero my Fridge Cig bc i saw it online and thought it was funny and it's just become a part of my regular vocabulary atp and i think the same thing happens to ilya. i think (like me) he does eventually realize he Cannot continue to drink the amount of full sugar cokes he has been drinking and shane helps him make the switch to coke zero and atp he's not smoking cigarettes either so he Does start calling them his fridge cigs and so does shane. the fridge must Always be stocked with fridge cigs.

[inthepittss]

is this a safe place to say that i think the stakes around shane being outed & having to leave mtl are killed by him being a 3x cup winner ? that - from a narrative, character, & structural perspective - tlg is more interesting if after the back to back cup wins, mtl doesnt see the cup again ?

[russianblush]

and trust when that picture drops of them both in their cens jerseys i’m going to implode

[probablily]

also its important to me that shane Knew he was gay the whole time, it was this Thing itches in the back of his brain, something he couldn't look at head on or really think about. bc admitting it was like giving up. but its not that he didn't Know. shane hollander didn't have to have rose tell him hes gay for him to be like "oh huh really i hadn't noticed" bc he Knew. and you can see it so clearly on his face in that scene how he knew. how thinking about it scares him, how Really looking at this part of himself feels impossible. but again shanes not just completely unselfaware, he knows this about himself he just Hopes he can make it work. that it doesnt really matter. he likes rose Enough, he likes girls Enough, it can be Enough

[probablily]

also its important to me that shane Knew he was gay the whole time, it was this Thing itches in the back of his brain, something he couldn't look at head on or really think about. bc admitting it was like giving up. but its not that he didn't Know. shane hollander didn't have to have rose tell him hes gay for him to be like "oh huh really i hadn't noticed" bc he Knew. and you can see it so clearly on his face in that scene how he knew. how thinking about it scares him, how Really looking at this part of himself feels impossible. but again shanes not just completely unselfaware, he knows this about himself he just Hopes he can make it work. that it doesnt really matter. he likes rose Enough, he likes girls Enough, it can be Enough

[miscelium]

Ilyapreg campaign so real and true!! Would you mind sharing your pitch 👀

I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED

it started with this post by @thedoubteriswise: "even though no one is explicitly saying [ilya] can't feed and hold and comfort, those things end up being withheld from him in favor of being allowed to provide, dominate, and command." it's not meant to be a gender thing but i think it's not NOT a gender thing. let ilya be nurturing!!

i also love @myshangel's thoughts on ilya's "hatred of being seen as vulnerable vs the intrinsic and visible vulnerability of pregnancy." i think ilya struggles with the vulnerability of being taken care of (see: ghosting after forehead kisses, not responding to shane's "are you ok?" texts, responding to shane's "i want to help" with "ok take off your shirt") but if he's pregnant, well, that's a different story, that makes him feel worthy of care in a way he might not feel normally. and shane loves taking care of him (see: intervening at the press conference, holding him while he cries, carrying his bags, making sure he has water shoes) like that's his baby! and his baby is carrying his other baby!

from a narrative and characterization standpoint, there's so much to explore. how does ilya's romanticized view of his mother shape his experience of motherhood? does he feel more connected to irina? more sad/angry/scared? is he worried about postpartum depression? postpartum psychosis even?

and most importantly, i just think it would be hot.

[myshangel]

tumblr ate this so here i am again to discuss how horned up shane would be around pregnant ilya. like that's HIS child inside HIS baby, and the stretchmarks??? he'd be licking and kissing running his dick all over them

HE WANTS THAT MANNNNN hes so heart eyes hes sooo horned up for him…..especially because ilya does have such a hard pregnancy and hes giving up so much for them to have a child. to have SHANES CHILD!!! oh my god hes following him around like a Dog . he wants to eat him out he wants to suck his dick he wants to lick his stretch marks and give him a thousand hickeys . thats his man…..his big strong brave man…….father of his child……light of his life……sexist man in the world who definitely does have a Pregnant Glow even if he doesnt feel very glowy

and its the same postpartum too like . i dont think theyd have kids until ilya is ready to retire so hes not getting back into Professional Athlete shape but he doesnt even get a Chance to be self-conscious abt it. one because they have a newborn and thats a fulltime job. and two because shane is SO FUCKING OBSESSED AND WORSHIPPING of him how could he feel anything but sooooo hot?????

[lucylehane]

last time we were together...