Well, it kind of depends on the guy. The ones that are my friends are awesome. I do however know a few that are not but I will just talk about the ones that are nice.
I have one main INFP guy friend who is my best friend (and almost-boyfriend?).
He is absolutely amazing. I met him when I was two and in preschool class together (were next to each other in alphabetical order) but don’t remember him because I switched schools after a few years. I later met him when I was fifteen and we almost immediately clicked. He is now 18 and going to college in the fall (same age as me).
He is very intelligent with an I.Q. in the high 130′s or low 140′s. This is the kid that got a 32 on the ACT (perfect score of 36; most people score in the low 20′s) the first time and he fell asleep during the test.
This is the kid who would shock random crap in his parent’s basement with a cut off extension cord to see what would happen (and ended up ruining a tv). He is insanely curious and he builds his own inventions. He got in trouble for going to the town recycle center and pulling ovens apart without an adult present as a child. He drives his mom crazy with his half-finished projects laying all over the house.
Although as an INTP I admire his technical inventive brilliance, I do admire his emotional intelligence even more. He is even tempered. Even when things do not go his way. Even when he is being referred to as “dickless” by ten year olds. At a camp which he was volunteering his time at as a counselor and missing his family vacation for to help because a counselor didn’t show up and they needed someone to fill his spot.
He keeps his cool and takes the high road when people are complete assholes to him. He somehow survived in a small house with three other (mean) siblings who treat him like crap and make fun of him all the time. He somehow managed to survive a world so far that treats emotional men like they are worthless. He is pretty open with his emotions to people who he can trust. He is very honest and is not afraid to admit things that embarrass him.
He has helped me, an emotional dumbass, when my mom died. He has been the only one to talk to me about her and has told me, many times, that it is okay to cry and that crying is the best way to let things out. He has openly admitted, as a guy, that crying is how he deals with things.
He is not afraid to do things that are stereotypically “feminine”. He doesn’t care what other people really think of him. He openly knits, gardens (and carries plants around like they are his children), cooks, bakes (his cookies are good), and does art. He is openly emotional and touchy-feely. He hugs other guys without shame in public. He shows me pictures of his little baby cousin and coos over how cute he is. He calls himself a cuddly teddy bear. He is also somehow very confident in his masculinity and is very confident in who he is as a person.
His values and morals are very strong. He believes there is right and wrong and has thought it out for situations before he presents his conclusions. It isn’t based in logic as much as it is based in pure feeling and inner feeling. He will defend what he believes is right to the death. I always thought it was a stereotype that INFPs were like that until I got in a political debate with him. He doesn’t use facts; it is purely based off of (for him) empathy from him stepping into another person’s shoes and feeling what they feel.
He is very defensive of anyone who has been hurt. He stands up for the people he empathizes with in a serious manner. He believes that every life is precious and will defend that belief whether it is helping homeless veterans, pets at an animal shelter, suicidal people, or babies (is against abortion in most cases; very personal to him because his cousin got pregnant at 15 and he loves her baby). I used to love debating with him until I saw how upset he actually got (debates don’t bother me but they make him really emotional).
When happy, he is the silliest, cutest, dork there is. He will giggle and make funny noises and laugh at literally everything. He will play around with you and try and get you to laugh as well (which you can’t help yourself from doing no matter how much you pretend he irritates you as that adorable dork is hilarious). He uses an ironic sense of humor mixed with goofiness which he uses to reference absurd or obscure events. Add a dash of inappropriate or dark references and you have his sense of humor down. He is the king of inside jokes and will remember literally every single one. And reference them years later.
He loves nature and spends all of his free time fishing or simply just being in the woods. He takes amazing sunset photos at his family’s cabin on the lake. He is the guy who will pull over to the side of the road because he sees a turtle and will make sure it gets across the road safely. He is also the guy who takes the scenic route everywhere even if it adds an hour and a half onto your driving time (because you are going through the woods). He also doesn’t care if he gets lost but he will somehow remember directions to a place he visited only once.
I don’t even really know how to describe it when he is sad. He feels pain so deeply and just accepts feeling it and doesn’t even fight it. If he opens up to you and shows his vulnerable side and you manage to hurt him, it will take a long time for him to open up again. Maybe even years. He will forgive but never forget. You will feel his pain as he feels his pain and wish it upon yourself rather than him. If you betray his trust, he will completely shut you out. To the point of physically acting like you don’t exist. He will take the high road and forgive you even though he may not understand completely why you acted the way you did. He will not let you hurt him again though and will put up his armor. It takes a long time for him to start to trust you again but he will open up once more if he sees that you are honest and that you really didn’t mean to hurt him.
When he loves you, you feel like the most important person. He will smile with all of his being and his eyes will shine. You will be able to feel his love when he just looks at you. Eye contact is intense but almost magical. You can see that he literally sees you as an idol and it sort of makes you feel bad because you don’t want to disappoint him. His love is an amazing feeling to experience and you cannot help but love him back. He takes on an almost angelic quality and he loves in such a pure fashion. His belief in you makes you look at yourself in a different way.
If you manage to make it into his inner circle, you will experience the deepest care from a person you can ever experience. He will pay attention to you always (even when he seems like he spaces out or is ignoring you). He will care about you even if you hurt him and he seems to be ignoring you. If something bad happens to you and you are in the middle of a fight, he will still message you to see if you are okay and if you need anything (and after he sees that you are okay, he will go back to ignoring you). He will make sure that you are taken care of and will protect you like he protects his values. It is actually scary when someone hurts you in his presence because he will turn all angry and defensive on your behalf. And he is not someone who gets angry easily. He will also kind of see you as “his” and can get extremely jealous if he feels that you will somehow replace him with someone else. He does this not because he wants to hurt you but because he cares so much for you and values you so much.
He is pretty even tempered but he can feel emotions intensely. It is so strong you can feel it yourself. If he is feeling intensely, the energy is literally radiating off of him. Sadness radiates off of him and dampers the mood of everyone around. Anger is a scary emotion to witness because he will literally blow up at whatever managed to piss him off. He is very good at reining in his negative emotions when he feels they are getting out of control. Happiness is so contagious and his laughter is also infectious. Love is an intense emotion that he feels too and it just radiates from him.
In short, INFP guys can be totally amazing people that you really can’t help but love. They are adorable, cuddly, funny, sweet, passionate, authentic, smart, curious, and grounded. Society doesn’t always treat them fair even though they really deserve love and recognition for who they are but they are deeply appreciated individually by the ones who know them on a deeper level.
