The Three Instincts: Self-Preservation, Sexual, Social
In course of our evolution as human beings, we developed a set of three core instincts referred to in the Enneagram as the basic survival instincts, instinctual energies, âdrivesâ or âsubtypesâ. These instincts are part of our body-based intelligence and key to our biological imperatives. They are built deep into our unconscious nature and aid in our survival as individuals and as a species. Instincts are thus more fundamental than enneagram type; they relate to our âanimal soulâ. From the perspective of the enneagram, we want to know how these drives manifest and function both as defined by each instinct alone and in terms of their alignment, known as âstackingâ.
Self-preservation instinct
is the first instinct to have evolved. This is an orientation towards survival, health, and comfort. SP drive checks in with the body: âIs this not enough or too much?â and orients by what the body reports on its needs. Of the three instincts, this is the oldest one; it dictates: âI must survive.â Animals are highly attuned to their self-preservation needs. Modern humans, however, are somewhat more distant from basic survival needs. That is, we have more sophistication in the sphere of physical needs and more complex regulationâonce survival is taken care of, we aim for comfort and pleasure.
The SP energy manifests as âconservedâ, âgroundedâ, âtightly coiledâ, âplantedâ, âimmovableâ. The energy is usually heavy in its nature, as if the person is carrying some great weight on his or her shoulders and conserving energy for later personal use. This subtype will âsacrifice for selfâ to insure survival, rather than look to their group or mate to resolve their problems and challenges. Self-preservation types may forgo social standing or intensity of experience for physical comfort, security, and other factors that ensure their own survival. For example, a sp-first person may have âprincess and the peaâ syndrome, refusing to sleep on most mattresses because they simply donât feel right. These people âlook inwardâ based upon an inherent recognition that âIâm on my ownâ and âI have to take care of myself.â
Self-preservation instinct responds to practical concerns of everyday life. SP types express concern centering around issues of security, food and health, employment, sustainability. At times this may make them look like enneagram head types, because they be in habit of planning to predict unforeseen mishaps or possible breaches in their security. In addition, the comfort seeking element to SP types can cause them to appear like gut types because of their desire to avoid too much complication or âfussâ.
In relationships, sp-first people focus on nesting, building a cozy home with someone, or may fantasize about such scenarios. Key words: self-maintenance, domesticity, practical know-how, finances, work, establishing practical foundation in life, back-up plans, fear of scarcity.
In neurotic SP types, there is fear of not having enough resources, food, shelter. This fear can distort the natural use of the instinct and turn into eating disorders, compulsive buying, or hoarding. There is a tendency to shore up resources and possibly a strong sense of being frugal or sometimes even downright cheap. This is because resources must be properly maintained to ensure survival for themselves and those within their sphere.
Self-preservation drive is fundamental to virtually all life forms. In threatening conditions all of us are become dominated by survival instincts. However, in circumstances where our health, life or security are not in any immediate danger, this instinct will take a back seat in individuals dominated by the sexual or social instincts.
Topics SP types might bring up in conversation: food, dining out, dieting, nutrition, health, fitness, appearance and looks, money, savings and sales, shopping, quality or durability of objects, clothing, design, home decor, employment, benefits, insurance, comfort, strength, vitality, sickness, death, discomfort, noise, safety, security, environment, resource management, physical sciences, engineering, architecture.
primary concerns - physical safety, comfort, and well-being; securing an orderly and aesthetically pleasing way of life (food, clothing, money, housing, and physical health)
primary focus - security, comfort, and well-being of the environment (lighting, temperature, comfortable furniture, aesthetics, food quality)
primary ambition - using practicality and financial sense to create a secure environment in the home and workplace (paying bills, acquiring skills to ensure the orderly flow of life)
primary stresses - money, sustenance (how they will get food, when it will come, if they will like it, if it fits their diet)
coping methods (unhealthy) - over-stocking, overbuying, overeating, overpurging, oversleeping, undersleeping, overindulging in aesthetics or comfort foods, mistreatment of comfort and security as is skewed by the secondary instinct
can be called the instinct of attraction. Itâs aggressive, competitive, single-minded, âall-or-nothingâ. Use of this energy is intensely fiery and affirmative, go-get-it approach, a life-and-death matter e.g. salmon swimming upstream to mate and die. With this instincts you are either turned on or youâre not - it is what it is; you cannot fight mother nature. With this instinct oneâs attention is wholly captivated energetically by someone or something.
The SX energy is described as âhigh energyâ and is often experienced as âintenseâ, âassertiveâ, âlaser-likeâ, âintently focusedâ, âplayful yet penetratingâ in nature. The feeling of SX-first is sometimes compared to being on a roller-coaster ride even though you arenât on one. This subtype will âsacrifice for the relationshipâ to insure intensity connection. This intensity does not have to be met by another personâit can be satisfied by a project, hobby, or special interest. Rather than looking inward or to the group to resolve their problems and challenges, these types tend to look to close relations and activities that can guarantee them an experience of liveliness and intensity.
SX-first people enjoy feeling invigorated. They may fantasize about scenarios that make them feel alive and that are emotionally stimulating. Key words: activation, immersion, charisma, broadcasting displays, fusion, inspiration, volatility.
Sexual subtypes are not to be confused with having a healthy sex drive or being sexy, which is a common reason for many people misidentifying themselves as SX-primaries. The name of this instinct is misleading as, in the end, all instincts play into sexuality. SP is the body-to-body part - cuddling, sensuality, autonomic regulation. SX is riding the waves of energy, the invisible forces of attraction between the people, but it doesnât need to be actively physical. In a union, all three instincts combineâwarmth (self-pres), energy (sexual), affection (social). One can have the sexual instinct operating in a group of friendsâbeing in the heat, stimulated, energized, engaged. In relationships, there is a desire for endless engagement and fascination.
Topics SX types might bring up in conversation: their personal experiences, personal attractions, personal likes and dislikes, innermost wants and wishes, relationships, their family, children, and friends, friendship, closeness, intimacy, sex, mating, beauty, attractiveness, personal feelings and mental states, excitement, intensity, desire, obsession, liveliness, rebelliousness, action sports, gender and gender roles, femininity/masculinity. (sx-first people often report having strong personal preferences)
primary concern - intense experiences, connections, and contacts, wide-ranging and exploratory, in order to find something to âcompleteâ them inside (sky diving, deep conversations, exciting movies)
primary focus - people and attractions promising intense energy and charge
primary ambition - looking outside themselves for the person or situation that will complete them, and then obsessing over that completing element
primary stresses - lack of intense mental or emotional stimulation, lack of an intense connection or experience
coping methods (unhealthy) - scattered attention, lack of focus, sexual promiscuity, intensely avoiding intense experiences and connections with a fearful and dysfunctional attitude toward sex, intimacy, and other intense âcompletingâ experiences, as is skewed by the secondary instinct
is not the same as socializing. This instinct is aimed towards species survival as a whole. It acts in species where families and groups exist to protect the vulnerability of mother and child. The social instinct provides a holding environment. It needs group viability for a sense of well-being.
Emphasis on cooperation, reciprocity, roles aimed at mutual survival. There is a need to be involved and contribute, a desire to be wanted and accepted by the group. It can sense when a behavior is damaging to group survival. It forms a sort of unconscious clusters where mutual support is an issue. This instinct is also attuned to hierarchy and possesses political awareness. It has a good sense and understanding of group boundaries and what groups can accomplish.
The SO energy is often described as âsplit energyâ experienced as âscatteredâ and projected outward, appearing personable, superficial, and cursory in nature. This subtype will âsacrifice for the groupâ to insure status. These types tend to âlook outward,â based upon a belief that âmy value is dependent upon how I am perceived by the group.â The survival strategy is an emphasis on sociability or unsociability. There is a noticeable inclination to categorize oneself in terms of others. The question âwho am I?â is defined by âhow comfortably and successfully I experience my groupâ. Focus is on the issues dealing with how the person is being perceived by the group.
Topics SO types might bring up in conversation: cultural and political movements and developments, social activism, social values, societal standards, rules, guidelines, social power structures, appropriateness/inappropriateness, friendship, family, inclusion/exclusion, popularity, popular songs books movies memes, manners, fashion, glamour, fame, notoriety, organizations, clubs, group divisions pertaining to nationality religion race, etc., patriotism, civic engagement, influence (so-first people sometimes refer to themselves using pronouns âweâ or âusâ or âourâ as if they
primary concern - building their sense of personal value, accomplishment, and a security of place with others via interaction with people in a broader sense (through family, group, subculture, mainstream culture, community, nation, world)
primary focus - the status, approval, and admirability of themselves and of others in the minds of any number of different groups; âsubtleâ power structures and politics; knowing what is going on in the world; a contextual intelligence that allows them to see both their efforts and their broader context in the world
primary ambition - interacting with people in ways that will build their personal value, their sense of accomplishment, and their security of place with others; to touch base with others to feel safe, alive, and energized; may include pursuit of attention, success, fame, recognition, honor, leadership, appreciation, and the security of being a part of something bigger than themselves
primary stresses - being able to adjust to others and be acceptable; othersâ reactions to them, whether they are being accepted or not; may include intimacy, which is tended to be avoided
coping methods (unhealthy) - antisocial behavior, detesting or resenting society at large, displaying poorly developed social skills, fear and distrust of society, resentfulness at having had to change to gain approval causes a stubbornness against doing what is necessary to get along with people, social resentment and avoidance as is skewed by the secondary instinct
is the one given top priority, since this is the instinct that the person is most attuned to. It represents an overarching preoccupation, and may even remain overarching in situations where a reasonable person would at least temporarily rearrange his priorities. There is certain rigidity to this instinctâit is non-negotiable; its needs must be satisfied. We are highly attuned to the needs of this instinct in ourselves and in others, however, as one moves down the health levels, the priorities of this instinct may become overly compulsive. Dominant instinct will grip your attention, cause sleepless nights, it is where your buttons get pushed, where you may start compensating. One may conceal the needs of this instinct and instead put the secondary instinct on display, since primary instinct serves as a greater source of anxiety than the secondary instinct. It may be said that a person comes to embody his or her primary instinct.
provides support to the first instinct. It is much less self-conscious than the dominant instinct. There is more flexibility to itâpeople generally does not stress as much about this area. They may experiment more in the realm of their second instinct, or just ignore it and put it off for a while.
The application of secondary instinct is creative and even more exhibitionistic than that of the primary instinct. While primary instinct is constantly monitored and held in check, the secondary instinct is allowed to roam freely. Often, one has an exploratory attitude towards secondary instinct and may be inclined to start experimenting in this areaâturn it into a hobby or use it to supplement their main occupation. It can be said that while people come to embody their primary instinct, the secondary instinct is akin to a creative field that envelops them.
Secondary instinct gets summoned in aid of primary instinct. In situations where people are not sure that their primary instinct will be welcomed, they often extend and offer âproductsâ of their secondary instinct by conversing on related topics. Sx/sp and so/sp types may talk about health, monetary, domestic, or culinary topics. Sp/sx and so/sxâabout their family, friendships, personal experiences and preferences. Sx/so and sp/soâabout cultural, social, and political events.
third (last or bottom) variant
in the stack is can be called oneâs âblind spotââit is akin to an unused muscle that on occasion feels sore. One believes that this area is uninteresting and unimportant, that one can do without it. At the same time, there is shame associated with the âblind spotâ variant - a sense of deficiency. One constantly feels like one is lacking skills and refinement in the areas pertaining to your last instinct.
Often a negative reaction develops in response to seeing your last instinct operate in others. For example, SP-last people might grow impatient with those who devote a lot of time and effort into making themselves well fed and comfortable - fiddling with the room temperature, checking seat cushions, arranging their bottled water, etc. SP-last people can grow bored if they find themselves trapped in a conversation about food, home decorations or furniture, local deals, home prices, salaries. SX-last people might feel uneasy when they see people openly demonstrating their sexuality, gender orientation or sexual preferences, engaging in PDA, discussing private feelings and experiences, etc. SO-last people might get impatient with âshallowâ socialite chit-chat, get frustrated when required to network, and wonder how others can keep up with so many acquaintances. One takes the dominant instinct as a given and believes that everyone should be this way, hence people become surprised and even frustrated when they meet others who show no concern for their primary area of preoccupation.
Concerns of the âblindspotâ instinct counterweight those of dominant one. When one is feeling anxious, depressed, or frustrated due to inability to satisfy the needs of the primary instinct, temporarily devoting oneâs attention and efforts to the third instinct may alleviate anxiety and compulsive behaviors prompted by fixation on the primary instinct.
Instincts operate at a deeper level than enneagram type and should be properly understood in their own rightâwithout reference to Enneagram type. The Passion of personâs main enneagram type plays itself out in the realm of the dominant instinct. Your dominant instinct will also be dominant in your enneagram typeâs wing as well as integration and disintegration points.
Alternative way of looking at instinct stackings:
Primary - The instinct taken in its most literal, concrete sense.
Secondary - The instinct taken in an abstract, creative sense.
Tertiary - This instinct remains dormant, little attention and time are devoted to this area.