inappropriate starch drawer

I'm 30, all of y'all terrified of minors can chill out.

[sagihairius]

i work as an actor at a haunted house and this little girl who was dressed as a cat came through she saw me and was like “no thank you please dont get closer i am already scared” and i was like alright i appreciate the good manners ill back off. so her dad picks her up and starts going down the rest of my dark hall and i just hear her yell “everybody wait! i dropped my ears” so i find them and give them to her dad and she goes “thank you but i hope i never see you again goodbye” and waved over her dads shoulder. i waved back and she gave me a thumbs up. honestly this kid has a lot of guts props for being so polite when shes terrified i hope she gets a lot of candy this year

[rowlfthedog]

[segamascott]

[transmortifried]

idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr

you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category

[charlesoberonn]

I want to fuck Antoni Gaudi's unbuilt Hotel Attraction skyscraper design

[anatomizer]

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

[snufflingfortruffles]

how about the Al Janoub stadium in Qatar?

[my-dailydreams]

[fellshish]

i’m so glad goncharov happened pre ai slop era

[romanitas]

#weird way to describe 1973 but i guess it’s accurate

[spontaneousmusicalnumber]

There are ten trillion pictures of flowering trees to the point where they sometimes seem trite and overdone. But then you see a tree in full flower and go holy shit this rules and I've gotta show this to everyone so they can experience the same magic and wonder and there are ten trillion and one pictures of flowering trees

[unwholesome-gay]

[the-artificem]

sometimes i think about how my all-girls catholic school’s idea of a PE class was to pair two girls up, teach us how to dance tango (one of the most sensual dances) for a whole sem, and have us perform it as an exam with one girl wearing a dress and the other girl wearing a coat and tie and how theyre still completely baffled on why almost half of their students are gay

[innerchildabortionclinic]

i'm sorry I can't stop laughing at this

[innerchildabortionclinic]

people asking why the father cow looks evil - I think this is actually an edit and the original cartoon is anti vax or something. if anyone finds the original let me know so it can be confirmed

[gunsandfireandshit]

It's literally Ben Garrison lmao

[innerchildabortionclinic]

the fact someone made an unironic divorce related edit of this is hilarious

[drops-of-universe]

why do men have this eternal fear of being used for money they don’t have lol

[papidehasbi]

[wifegideonnav]

the emotion i just experienced is kind of indescribable

[wifegideonnav]

the funniest part of this post to me is that the reblog:like ratio is nearly 1:1. nobody’s just liking everyone who sees this video goes yeah i gotta inflict it on as many people as possible

[feldfrog]

If a fantasy world has an ancient tree of wisdom, that means it must also have young trees that are dumb as shit. Just giving terrible advice like, "the evil wizard is kinda hot"'

[copperbadge]

On Saturday I said to my partner, as I have said for months, "A ten thousand dollar a year raise would solve so many of my problems."

As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.

As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.

May all of you get the $10K raise your soul has yearned for. And whatever level of sex you can be satisfied with for $200.

[vergess]

hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today

[furryprovocateur]

9/11

[furryprovocateur]

not even joking this is one of the worst possible changes that i could've reasonably conceived of to happen to video games.

[furryprovocateur]

having thought about it this is a generationally anti-consumer announcement that will have a profoundly detrimental impact on consumers and retail markets. this will price out new consumers even more than a $600 PS5 and $80 games will. this will make games less accessible and more nickel-and-dimed. this will make games impossible to share irl without giving your console up, and will stop institutions like libraries from being able to loan copies of modern games. and most importantly, it will be for a minimal profit, as most of the sales in video games are already digital.

this is such a staggeringly catastrophic piece of news that i'm shocked it wasn't said by nintendo. congrats to sony for one-upping them in anti-consumer practices.

[gallusrostromegalus]

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

[starathsbunker]

#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus

I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious

[gallusrostromegalus]

A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)

Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.

[trickstarbrave]

I have been enjoying seeing people experience food this World Cup

[redflagshipwriter]

The person who wrote this has almost certainly never been to Japan- if they had, they would know that Japanese restaurants also offer table appetizers in many contexts. Some of them? Mexican restaurants. You can get free tortilla chips when you eat Mexican food in Tokyo Osaka Kobe Kyoto and rural HIMEJI for fuck’s sake. Those are just places where I’ve personally had free tortilla chips in Japan.

This is chat gpt trash prompted to “sound Japanese” and it’s based off of racist old movie dialogue. There’s zero correlation here to Japanese grammar and how Japanese translates into English or how a native speaker of Japan uses English. It’s slop. It’s racist ai slop rehashing Western exceptionalism, fantasizing about a Japanese person being in awe of how great the USA is. It’s depressing that people fell for this. I know it feels good to think that other people like us, and sometimes they do, but this only works if you assume Japanese people have extremely limited experience and worldview. It’s mortifying.

If someone other than me would push back against this propaganda, it would be nice.

[curioscurio]

if im careful i could whittle this peanut into sonic

[curioscurio]

he needs a paint job 

[curioscurio]

im physically nauseous