I don’t usually defend Tony Stark. But this “Something went wrong” bullshit really rubbed me the wrong way. Wanna know why? Because the “Something that went wrong” was Howard Stark. The man that Tony idolised, and the man that abused him. And don’t give me that crap that in the MCU universe, Howard didn’t neglect or hurt Tony — he did. It’s very evident in the tie-in MCU comics.
But in both universes, Tony was raised by Edwin Jarvis. In 616, he has a father — Howard — who is constantly aggravated with his son, both as a result of his own drinking and because of what he feels Tony should be.
While Jarvis might be sensitive, thoughtful, intelligent and occupy roles that aren’t traditionally occupied considered “masculine” (which is bullshit in itself) if Tony ever displays anything remotely indicative of a “softer side” he is ridiculed, called a sissy, told that Stark men are “made of Iron” and abused by his father:
In the MCU, things aren’t depicted of being much better:
And in the MCU Jarvis, often, tried to soften the blow of Howard’s words an actions. But don’t think for a second that Tony didn’t internalise all of that. That he didn’t think that Howard Stark was the man he was supposed to be, and the man he wanted to be most like.
Of course, generally speaking — when Tony is the most like Howard — like at the Stark Expo, or during the senate hearings — it’s almost 100% preformative. That’s not who he is, or who he ever was, it’s who he thinks people want him to be, because it’s who his father wanted him to be.
I would go so far as to say that a lot of Tony’s womanizing ways, his alcoholism, his struggles with self-identity and importance all stem from the fact that he is often torn between being the man that he assumed his father wanted to be, and who he actually is.
If you look at Tony when he’s alone, or when he’s with the people he cares about the most, what you see is the caring, compassionate person who Jarvis raised, and that he is a lot more capable and a lot more loving than his father ever was. And it took him a long time to be okay with that, and with showing other people that that was who he really was
So yes… Just a reminder, Jarvis helped raised this man:
Don’t confuse the armour….
with the man who wears it.
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