[loversurreal]

[kylehasatumblr]

GOD FUCKING BLESS YOU INSOMNIAC HOLY SHIT 1080P FULL HD MAYMAYS

[inh-the-void]

[tallwife]

due to personal reasons i will be happy

[mamoru]

insert your card into the chip reader. put it in. hurry up. just fucking put the card in the chip reader. now leave it. leave it. do not even look at it. leave it alone you asshole leave your card in the chip reader. keep it in. if you take it I swear I wi–

TAKE IT OUT! REMOVE YOUR CARD RIGHT NOW TAKE YOUR CARD OUT TAKE IT OUT OF THE CHIP READER TAKE IT BACK TAKE IT BACK TAKE YOUR CARD BACK AND GET OUT AND NEVER COME BACK FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

[trapcard]

this is SO funny

[gingerglides]

The idea that, if Eleven and Matilda ever met they would be enemies or fight is totally ludicrous. Matilda would take one look in Eleven’s lost, angry eyes, and take her in. She’d be patient and thorough, teaching her new words every day, and they would share chocolates and roller skate and have regular kid fun. Matilda would show her board games but Eleven would insist on cards. They’d both cheat and see who was better at getting away with it. Eleven would teach Matilda how to move larger objects with her powers and be utterly fucking thrilled by the story of revenge on Ms. Trunchbull.

They would be thick as thieves and no one can convince me otherwise.

[gayingmantis]

[cockyroaches]

Matilda and eleven both had shit ass childhoods and the concept they’d fight is surreal

[dfhgdfghdfghdfghdfghfg-deactiva]

finally a good tumblr update. thank you staff.

[wallpatterns-deactivated2019120]

The other day I went to McDonald’s with my family and the guy who took my order was really loud and was basically like “HAPPY HOLIDAYS WHAT CAN I GET YOU” and I was like wow I can’t let this guy outmatch me so I yelled “I’LL TAKE A HAPPY MEAL WITH THE NUG NUGS IF I MAY” you know, like a natural well-adjusted epitome of adulthood 19 year old and he was like “CERTAINLY WOULD YOU LIKE THE MIGHTY KIDS MEAL INSTEAD WITH EXTRA FRIES” and I was so sleep deprived I essentially blacked out and apparently leaned over the counter like I was robbing the place, raised my eyebrow like a suave robin hood and said “HECK YES I WOULD GOOD SIR” and then I sat down and he yelled from across the store “WOULD YOU LIKE THE PURPLE OR BLUE SPIDER-MAN” and since purple is the more superior color that’s how I answered and long story short my parents think college changed me and that I’m now the poster child for being social and I’ve only been asked once why I’m not in a relationship yet but I know it’s gonna be brought up again and how do i tell my parents it’s because whenever I eat in the dining hall I spend the entire time playing bumper cars with the wheeley chairs and all I eat is pixie sticks and the last time I was in the library (where I’m supposed to work next semester, deAr GoD) I ripped my leggings in the bathroom pulling up my pants and I walked the entire 20 mins back to my dorm with my neon underwear peeking out from the holes like a 17th century harlot with a cocaine addiction and I’ve essentially been living off jars of peanut butter and the soundtrack to the bee movie for the past year

[sqooops]

there’s more information in this post than there was in the library of alexandria

[gifbro]

[4gifs]

A Somali Red cheats at a cat show by getting cozy with the judge

[cannibality-deactivated20250227]

i love that the judge can’t resist giving this fluffo a smooch, thats exactly what i would do if i was a cat technician

[3-l4l59]

cat technician

[jitterslug]

[phillipiscrying]

​theres no possible way to know where this is going

[queenwhiskey]

What food group is honey what the fuck is this stuff

[violetvappy-deactivated20220306]

Apparently its categorized as raw meat by the FDA, which is cursed information if I’ve ever seen it.

[queenwhiskey]

WHAT

[officialunitedstates]

hey here’s a fact for all of my followers who follow me.  butter, ice cream, milk, and cheese all come to us from the same animal.  i cant remember which animal it is right now but i know for sure its the same one

[cigaretteslutx]

Ill give you a hint, it moos

[officialunitedstates]

thanks yeah it’s the moose

[aggressivesurfmuzic-deactivated]

Is My Anxiety Making My Stomach Sick or is My Sick Stomach Making Me Anxious: A Short Biography

[birkholtz]

[0ctostim]

[glocc-blocc]

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

Male positivity? In my branding? It’s more likely than you think

[slumberinggirl-deactivated20210]

I love this

[lil-bitchnugget-blog]

Y E S. FINALLY

[citizen-zero]

AXE realized their target demographic are the preteen and teen boys who over-apply their product and decided to do something good for these impressionable youths

[jasper-rolls]

today we will eat at deodorant

[wiacollections]

[hatin]

hatin:

if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that zac efron has a yolo tattoo

[midnight-charm]

[neckkiss]

“When i first saw you i never expected that you would mean the world to me”

— I love you (hatin)