c’est la vie

rae ~ 26 life isn’t that serious, i promise

[leahgardner-art]

Sunday mornings

[dienothemink]

sometimes i say “i think” but actually i know. on account of being the knower.

[punkrock-bottom]

If you really loved me you’d learn my attack patterns and parry timings 🙄

[lolmatdi1]

You are on this council, but we do not grant you the rank of master.

[walterwhite58]

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

[johngreen58]

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

[peggyhill58]

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

[ozempicofficial]

[incandescent-creativity]

Do you ever write a sentence and then realize “Nah, that’s too self aware for you” and backspace a bunch of times.

[mysticalcoffeequeen]

When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

[switchnx]

Wait that’s actually really good, gonna pop this out of the tags

[itsreallystupid]

[teaboot]

[homunculus-argument]

Nothing slapped my shit back into place like someone pointing out that the "genius gifted child with so much potential who got burnout and mental illness" is just the nerd equivalent to the jock "could have been a pro at sportsball if it wasn't for the injury".

[rpfofficial]

sex is actually what hangs from the ceiling whereas gender is what grows upwards from the ground

[girlmostlikely]

[redstonedust]

forgetfulness is wild because sometimes its "oops silly me i left the house without my wallet again" and sometimes its "my friend is trying to reminisce on a thing we did together and the fact its jogging nothing in my brain is genuinely kind of distressing"

[sleepy-hyperfixations]

genuinely the funniest fucking thing ive seen all day

[h4h4n0tfunny]

[mallalada]

the voice of the devil

[sandersstudies]

When you spend all day gentle parenting other people’s children and then watch their parents undo it :)

[sandersstudies]

Me: hey dude, I know you don’t like wearing your shoes, but to play over here you have to wear shoes because if you don’t you could get hurt. If you don’t put on shoes, you cannot play here.

Child whose incentive to put on shoes is to join playtime: ok

Parent at pickup: What did I say about taking off your shoes? If you don’t have your shoes on in three seconds I’m going to take you to the bathroom and spank your bare bottom!

Child whose incentive to put on shoes is now fear of physical pain: *screaming crying and running away resulting in more disruption*

[sandersstudies]

Me: hey guys, I heard you two were having some problems earlier. I know you two are usually friends, so let’s take a few deep breaths and then we can talk about what happened and make up, okay?

Their parents in the parking lot: *screaming their heads off at each other*

[fire-plug]

Personality hire

Working Cats

[jeanjauthor]

Sometimes you really need a good personality on your staff.

[narwhalsarefalling]