It's Likely Liana

I have no idea how to describe this yet...

[dc-comic-girl-deactivated202302]

Just so everyone’s on the same page: the thinly veiled gun control Animaniacs episode, Bun Control, is the best episode so far.

[official-portugal]

twitter

[belldomar]

A quick translation:

Dude: OK, guys, let’s assign the disasters. Hum, tsunami. Who wants the tsunami?

2004: Yeah, I’ll have the tsunami.

Dude: OK, 2004 has the tsunami. 2012, do you still want the asteroid?

2012: Nah, no need.

Dude: Cool, let’s schedule that for 2030. OK, 2020, I have-

2020: FIRES.

Dude: OK, we can do fires, no problem-

2020: NUCLEAR TENSION.

Dude: Fires and… nuclear tension?

2020: PANDEMIC.

Dude: 2020, you can’t just- just have EVERYTHING-

2020: KOBE BRYANT DIES IN A HELICOPTER ACCIDENT.

1986: Wh-who’s Kobe Bryant?

1347: Heli-what?

Dude: So, you’re asking for fires, nuclear tension, a pandemic AND the death of basketball legend in your year!?

2020: TILL MARCH.

Dude: C’mon. Guys, help me with this.

1986: I would say something, but… CHERNOBYL! Oops, am I right?

2014: At least you still have the twin towers.

2000: Wait, what do you mean?

1347: I agree that 2020 is pushing it-

1945: YOU’RE LITERALLY- You’re the high point of the Bubonic plague!

1347: Oh, much apologies, Sir TWO ATONIC BOMBS!

1945: It’s ATOMIC, you f*ing medieval-

1347: Who are you calling medieval, G.I. Joe. Go play with your-

1945: Here we go again-

2000: Now, seriously, what-

1: Y’all want BREAD?!

1347, with a funny accent: Look at me! I have ME.DI.CI.NE.

[sadoeuphemist]

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”

“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Climb aboard, then!” But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown. “Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.” 

“I can’t help it,” said the scorpion. “It’s my nature.”

___

…But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the frog felt a subtle motion on its back, and in a panic dived deep beneath the rushing waters, leaving the scorpion to drown.

“It was going to sting me anyway,” muttered the frog, emerging on the other side of the river. “It was inevitable. You all knew it. Everyone knows what those scorpions are like. It was self-defense.”

___

…But no sooner had they cast off from the bank, the frog felt the tip of a stinger pressed lightly against the back of its neck. “What do you think you’re doing?” said the frog.

“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”

They swam in silence to the other end of the river, where the scorpion climbed off, leaving the frog fuming.

“After the kindness I showed you!” said the frog. “And you threatened to kill me in return?”

“Kindness?” said the scorpion. “To only invite me on your back after you knew I was defenseless, unable to use my tail without killing myself? My dear frog, I only treated you as I was treated. Your kindness was as poisoned as a scorpion’s sting.”

___

…“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”

“You have a point,” the frog acknowledged. “But once we get to dry land, couldn’t you sting me then without repercussion?”

“All I want is to cross the river safely,” said the scorpion. “Once I’m on the other side I would gladly let you be.”

“But I would have to trust you on that,” said the frog. “While you’re pressing a stinger to my neck. By ferrying you to land I’d be be giving up the one deterrent I hold over you.”

“But by the same logic, I can’t possibly withdraw my stinger while we’re still over water,” the scorpion protested.

The frog paused in the middle of the river, treading water. “So, I suppose we’re at an impasse.”

The river rushed around them. The scorpion’s stinger twitched against the frog’s unbroken skin. “I suppose so,” the scorpion said.

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Absolutely not!” said the frog, and dived beneath the waters, and so none of them learned anything.

___

A scorpion, being unable to swim, asked a turtle (as in the original Persian version of the fable) to carry it across the river. The turtle readily agreed, and allowed the scorpion aboard its shell. Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell. The turtle, swimming placidly, failed to notice.

They reached the other side of the river, and parted ways as friends.

___

…Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell.

The turtle, hearing the tap of the scorpion’s sting, was offended at the scorpion’s ungratefulness. Thankfully, having been granted the powers to both defend itself and to punish evil, the turtle sank beneath the waters and drowned the scorpion out of principle.

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” sneered the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back.”

The scorpion pleaded earnestly. “Do you think so little of me? Please, I must cross the river. What would I gain from stinging you? I would only end up drowning myself!”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Even a scorpion knows to look out for its own skin. Climb aboard, then!”

But as they forged through the rushing waters, the scorpion grew worried. This frog thinks me a ruthless killer, it thought. Would it not be justified in throwing me off now and ridding the world of me? Why else would it agree to this? Every jostle made the scorpion more and more anxious, until the frog surged forward with a particularly large splash, and in panic the scorpion lashed out with its stinger.

“I knew it,” snarled the frog, as they both thrashed and drowned. “A scorpion cannot change its nature.”

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. The frog agreed, but no sooner than they were halfway across the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown.

“I’ve only myself to blame,” sighed the frog, as they both sank beneath the waters. “You, you’re a scorpion, I couldn’t have expected anything better. But I knew better, and yet I went against my judgement! And now I’ve doomed us both!”

“You couldn’t help it,” said the scorpion mildly. “It’s your nature.” 

___

…“Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”

“Alas, I was of two natures,” said the scorpion. “One said to gratefully ride your back across the river, and the other said to sting you where you stood. And so both fought, and neither won.” It smiled wistfully. “Ah, it would be nice to be just one thing, wouldn’t it? Unadulterated in nature. Without the capacity for conflict or regret.”

___

“By the way,” said the frog, as they swam, “I’ve been meaning to ask: What’s on the other side of the river?”

“It’s the journey,” said the scorpion. “Not the destination.”

___

…“What’s on the other side of anything?” said the scorpion. “A new beginning.”

___

…”Another scorpion to mate with,” said the scorpion. “And more prey to kill, and more living bodies to poison, and a forthcoming lineage of cruelties that you will be culpable in.”

___

…”Nothing we will live to see, I fear,” said the scorpion. “Already the currents are growing stronger, and the river seems like it shall swallow us both. We surge forward, and the shoreline recedes. But does that mean our striving was in vain?”

___

“I love you,” said the scorpion.

The frog glanced upward. “Do you?”

“Absolutely. Can you imagine the fear of drowning? Of course not. You’re a frog. Might as well be scared of breathing air. And yet here I am, clinging to your back, as the waters rage around us. Isn’t that love? Isn’t that trust? Isn’t that necessity? I could not kill you without killing myself. Are we not inseparable in this?”

The frog swam on, the both of them silent.

___

“I’m so tired,” murmured the frog eventually. “How much further to the other side? I don’t know how long we’ve been swimming. I’ve been treading water. And it’s getting so very dark.”

“Shh,” the scorpion said. “Don’t be afraid.”

The frog’s legs kicked out weakly. “How long has it been? We’re lost. We’re lost! We’re doomed to be cast about the waters forever. There is no land. There’s nothing on the other side, don’t you see!”

“Shh, shh,” said the scorpion. “My venom is a hallucinogenic. Beneath its surface, the river is endlessly deep, its currents carrying many things.” 

“You - You’ve killed us both,” said the frog, and began to laugh deliriously. “Is this - is this what it’s like to drown?” 

“We’ve killed each other,” said the scorpion soothingly. “My venom in my glands now pulsing through your veins, the waters of your birthing pool suffusing my lungs. We are engulfing each other now, drowning in each other. I am breathless. Do you feel it? Do you feel my sting pierced through your heart?”

“What a foolish thing to do,” murmured the frog. “No logic. No logic to it at all.”

“We couldn’t help it,” whispered the scorpion. “It’s our natures. Why else does anything in the world happen? Because we were made for this from birth, darling, every moment inexplicable and inevitable. What a crazy thing it is to fall in love, and yet - It’s all our fault! We are both blameless. We’re together now, darling. It couldn’t have happened any other way.”

___

“It’s funny,” said the frog. “I can’t say that I trust you, really. Or that I even think very much of you and that nasty little stinger of yours to begin with. But I’m doing this for you regardless. It’s strange, isn’t it? It’s strange. Why would I do this? I want to help you, want to go out of my way to help you. I let you climb right onto my back! Now, whyever would I go and do a foolish thing like that?”

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”

“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”  

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Come aboard, then!” But no sooner had the scorpion mounted the frog’s back than it began to sting, repeatedly, while still safely on the river’s bank.

The frog groaned, thrashing weakly as the venom coursed through its veins, beginning to liquefy its flesh. “Ah,” it muttered. “For some reason I never considered this possibility.”

“Because you were never scared of me,” the scorpion whispered in its ear. “You were never scared of dying. In a past life you wore a shell and sat in judgement. And then you were reborn: soft-skinned, swift, unburdened, as new and vulnerable as a child, moving anew through a world of children. How could anyone ever be cruel, you thought, seeing the precariousness of it all?” The scorpion bowed its head and drank. “How could anyone kill you without killing themselves?”

[booasaur]

The Bachelor: Vietnam - Contestant confesses to another contestant

[booasaur]

I made this to highlight Minh Thu’s bravery and that it happened at all, whatever the result, and I know a LOT of people had things to say, about how it was faked or how it was ruined for them when they found out Truc Nhu continued on the show.

Well, you can all rest easy now!

And how it happened was super cute too!

[biscuitsarenice]

The Big Questions:  Is there more truth in Shakespeare than the Bible?

Akala, Rapper, Writer, Academic and founder of the Hip-hop Shakespeare Company.

Prof Stanley Wells, the world’s leading Shakespeare scholar.

[X]

[nemesispawn-deactivated20181005]

Oh my god, this is interesting.

[medievalpoc]

Blackamoores: Africans in Tudor England

“Race Card” by Gary Taylor

British Black and Asian Shakespeare Performance Database

Bartles, Emily C. “Making More of the Moor: Aaron, Othello, and Renaissance Refashionings of Race”. Shakespeare Quarterly, Vol. 41, No. 4 (Winter, 1990), pp. 433-454. Folger Shakespeare Library, in association with George Washington University.

[bollywoodishtyle]

WIFW AW 2014: Tarun Tahiliani

[vulcankisseshuman]

[chryswatchesgot]

Chrys Watches Got [x]

[beeple]

TRIAGONAL GEMINI 1978

[mjalti]

my plan is to jog in a zip code where the average house is $1 million dollars. i jog everyday. i run into the trophy wives jogging club. we jog past each other so often, they’re forced to interact with me. we’re friends now. i’m invited places. i meet other millionaires, men who love me. i marry the richest, using an alias. throughout the first year of marriage, i’m moving assets and cash to an off shore bank account. i fake my own death on our anniversary. he’s heartbroken.

i started jogging in a new million dollar neighborhood. i’ve just made friends with the local jogging crew headed by ashtonlynn and brotyna “chichi” who has a single millionaire brother,

[eclipticzero]

Is there any version of this plan where I don’t have to jog

[mjalti]

u only have to jog past the ladies which is like 46 seconds. suck it up for the fraud of it all

[itslikelyliana]

In urban/suburban parts of California, a million dollars might BARELY get you a small, average house [x] 

[ithelpstodream]

[jehovahhthickness]

This shit was so funny

[quicklywisecollector7-deactivat]

Lls

[neo-soulless]

Im screaming at the way the other woman signed vagina

[gentlepromises]

i’m the kids 

[southernsideofme-deactivated201]

Wait for it…

[association-of-free-people]

Witchcraft

[unlimited-shitpost-works-deacti]

[perspectivemax-deactivated20181]

Oh

[secondhand-sheep-shack]

The math geek in me is giddy. 

[brosefvondudehomie-deactivated2]

WITCHCRAFT!!! BURN THE WITCH!!!

[theheartbrokenlibertarian]

I don’t buy that “graph” even a little. It’s clear that what I just witnessed is impossible without some kind of magic spell.

[dontneedfeminism2]

Bruh.

[giftofthemagi2]

[netflixsense8gifs]

Brian J. Smith’s letter to the viewers of Sense8.

[phoenixwrites]

:(

[commongayboy-deactivated2018082]

#RenewSense8 http://bit.ly/RenewS8

[meeedeee]

[stripeycrayons]

I have been deeply in love with the seemingly nonsensical answer for such a long time, this is unbelievable and wonderful and I adore it so much- what a paradigm shift!!

[tmirai]

This is such an interesting dissection of a very common trope in writing female characters that I never really thought about before, but it’s so prevalent and so obvious and so fucking disgusting.

[coelasquid]

This is a really well put together breakdown of this trope, particularly how the fantasy basically breaks down to “unremarkable men are remarkable to women with no life experience”, but the one thing I might say merits further conversation is the point he tries to make that the trope isn’t typically reversed because women don’t find the idea of naive men sexy. I’m not going to say that women DO want to cow around inexperienced manchildren, but I will say I think he’s making a fairly inequal comparison when he says reversing the trope plays up men’s buffoonish nature. Half of the equation here is that the character is supposed to be heavily sexualized and I would argue that his examples of “born yesterday” men are not. Or if they are supposed to be, they were devised by someone with a very patronizing view of what people who find men attractive are attracted to.

I feel like choosing Blast From the Past as as example of a Sexy Naive Man Played By Brenden Fraiser when George of the Jungle exists goes to show that the guy who made this either has a shaky concept of what constitutes “sexy” when it comes to male characters or was cherrypicking his examples to make his point;

His whole performance in this movie was deliberately constructed to be a direct reversal to the female version of this trope.

Another better example of a 1:1 reversal of this trope would probably be, of all things, Universal Soldier. Jean Claude van Damme’s character is intensely athletic and competent at his designated role as a secret government super soldier, but he’s grossly ignorant to social nuances like when it’s acceptable to wander around naked. He’s not played off as a buffoonish manchild, he just leaves Ally Walker scrambling to protect his decency between bouts of grappling with Dolph Lundgren.

Probably the most iconic, deliberate reversal of this trope that I’m kind of amazed was overlooked is the titular character of the Rocky Horror picture show.

Like… This character exists completely as commentary on this trope. There is no conceit of trying to pretend he exists as anything beyond a sexualized, naive plaything for the amusement of the worldly, experienced character who built him. His verse in the finale number outlines this even more explicitly;

I’m just seven hours old Truly beautiful to behold And somebody should be told My libido hasn’t been controlled Now the only thing I’ve come to trust Is an orgasmic rush of lust Rose tints my world And keeps me safe from my trouble and pain

His role in the story also works to deconstruct the convention in exactly the way this guy say he’d like to see it handled more often; the conflict is rooted in Rocky choosing to become involved with a similarly sheltered and inexperienced person rather than the seasoned one he was built for, effectively “ruining” his intended purpose as a blank slate for Frank to claim ownership of.

I’m not trying to argue with this guy’s central point or anything because it’s a super important thing to be aware of, just with the idea that staging the same trope with a male character as the inexperienced party doesn’t typically work because inexperience makes men unattractive, when it’s more because the guys making these movies are usually either afraid of or don’t understand what DOES make men sexy.

[allogrim]

If I can tag on here–

It’s less that gender-reversed instances of this trope don’t work or don’t exist, than it is that there are very few instances where the trope is played straight, as it were. Both George of the Jungle and Rocky Horror, I would argue, are intentional subversions of the trope, meant to poke fun at / comment on the usual portrayals of innocent sexualized women. ‘Innocent-sexy-man’ doesn’t really exist as a trope in-itself because it is inherently subversive of western patriarchal values.

Whereas, ‘buffoonish man needs taking care of’ is definitely a trope, and it’s allowed to be a trope because it assigns women to ‘acceptable’ roles as nurturers and care-givers of men. It’s still a male fantasy– rather than sexualizing innocence, it says, ‘hey dudes, don’t you hate making responsible choices and being a functional adult? Find yourself a Competent Woman and you won’t have to! Let her do all the work and you can laze around being a shithead! Call her a shrew when she asks you to complete basic tasks!’  It’s the still shitty flip-side of the ‘innocent-sexy-woman’– it’s the ‘every-woman-can-be-your-mother’ trope.  (the ‘marry-your-mother’ trope, if you will, as opposed to the ‘marry-a-literal-or-metaphorical-child’ trope)

If we’re looking for actual female fantasies, George of the Jungle is definitely it; but even George of the Jungle isn’t a straight reversal of the ‘innocent-sexy’ trope. ‘Innocent-sexy-woman’ is, at heart, about a sexualized power-balance. If anything, I would argue that George of the Jungle acts as the Ultimate female fantasy because it’s one of the few movie relationships where there is no power imbalance. George has no concept of patriarchal norms, no toxic masculinity, no need to establish himself as master and protector, which makes him the perfect female romantic fantasy. 

tl;dr:  the male ‘innocence’ fantasy is about showing a naive young woman ‘the ways of the world’ and making her dependent on you; the female innocence fantasy is about finding a naive young man and mutually noping the fuck out of toxic western social structures.

[fixyourwritinghabits]

re-blogging for additional comments and examination of tropes.