iwannakashootmyseif

(~‾▿‾)~

[iwannakashootmyseif]

Wait- I just realised

you should never make a promise with Dazai .. if it's one of those promises that go

" cross my heart and hope to die "

Because you know it's gonna be broken

[eats-a-kit-kat-whole]

site: create password

dazai: chuuya

site: password is too short

dazai: *sighs* i know

chuuya:

chuuya: you have 10 seconds to run

[iwannakashootmyseif]

Dazai on phone with kunikida: hey! Kunikida can you come get me out of jail

Kunikida: WHAT ! . What did you do now

Dazai: A cop pulled me up & said "paper" so I said "scissors I win! " And drove off .

[iwannakashootmyseif]

Drunk chuuya: * sitting in a washing machine *

Atsushi: urm how did this happen

Dazai: I told him it's a teleporter

Chuuya: imMa gOinG tO fRecKinG CRoSiaNt to DriNk aLLLLL the wiNe in The w0rlD B!Tch !

[someangelcry]

Credits to @UTA200354 from Twitter

[iwannakashootmyseif]

: AND NOW A MOMENT OF WHEN YOU :

: WALK IN A ROOM AND FORGET :

: WHY YOU'RE THERE :

--------------------------------------------------

Dazai: * walks into fridge *

Atsushi: ahh dazai what are you doing ?

Dazai: urhmm . I don't .. quite remember

Dazai: * walks out grabs timer *

Atsushi: what are you doing ?

Dazai: ah-ha ! I remember .. see you in * sets timer * an hour atsushi

Atsushi: dazai are you sure about this

Dazai: good idea ! *sets timer* 2 hours it is

Dazai: * walks in fridge closes door *

---

Extra

Kunikida to atsushi: where's dazai ?

Atsushi: urhm ahh well you see-

Kunikida: *sigh* again

Atsushi: hh yyah- WAIT "AGAIN"?

[iwannakashootmyseif]

Dazai: *spreading jam on bread with a spoon *

Atsushi: a ah what are you doing ?

Dazai: being creative

Atsushi:

:Extra:

Dazai: there were no more Ka - nif - ees

Atsushi: you mean knifes ?

Dazai: * tear rolls down cheek *

[iwannakashootmyseif]

Dazai: *sees fly * ... WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE ! WHO LET YOU IN .. ARHH!!!!

[iwannakashootmyseif]

Atsushi: what's the nicest thing you've ever done for someone

Chuuya: offered to kill dazai myself for him

Atsushi:

Atsushi: t that's not really-

Chuuya: well that's as close as I'm getting

[iwannakashootmyseif]

Dazai: Did you just fall

Chuuya: No! I attacked the floor

Dazai: Backwards?

Chuuya: I'm FrEcKiNg talENtED !

[iwannakashootmyseif]

Dazai: I'm actually happy right now

Life: LOL one sec

[iwannakashootmyseif]

Dazai: * breaths *

Chuuya: I hate you

[iwannakashootmyseif]

Kunikida: go do the dishes

Dazai: do I havvee tooo

Kunikida: your not leaving this kitchen till there done !

Dazai: *goes grab pillow , blanket & chuuya *

Chuuya: what's happening

Dazai: you're stuck with me forever

Chuuya:

Kunikida:

Dazai: ~(꒪꒳꒪)~

Chuuya: stay here I'll get the wine

[iwannakashootmyseif]

Dazai: [proudly saying] it takes real skills to choke on air , fall up stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills .

Chuuya: wtf-

[iwannakashootmyseif]

Dazai: my necks sore

Chuuya: what do you want me to do

Dazai: grow taller

[iwannakashootmyseif]

Atsushi : some people just need a high five

Akutagawa: in the face

Dazai: with a chair !

Atsushi: