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[womanguy]

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

[iwantmoredragons]

#the 4-day 6-hour-day workweek agenda

[tumblr]

Reblogs in a chain now get their own notes

The reblog chain is one of the things that makes Tumblr unlike anywhere else. All the notes on reblogs are attributed to the original post, no matter which branch people actually liked or reblogged. We want to keep encouraging conversations, and give contributors the recognition they deserve. 

Soon, you'll be able to like, reblog, or reply to any part of a reblog chain, and that note will go to that reblog's author. Each reblog will have its own counts, instead of one aggregated number from every version of the post. And yes, you’ll be able to like multiple posts in one chain.

If a reblog doesn't add anything, the love flows up to the last person in the chain who did. Your post doesn't lose notes just because people spread it quietly.

Past notes will stay on the original post — we're only changing what happens from here on out. Retroactively re-attributing all of them would be... a lot.

This is just the beginning. More changes are coming as we keep building this out – stay tuned!

[changes]

It’s very clear that you all have strong feelings about Tumblr and about this change. We hear you. The passion people have for how Tumblr works is one of the things that makes this place special.

As this rolls out over the next few days and you explore it, we’ll keep reading your replies and reblogs, so please keep sharing your questions, concerns, and ideas.

Your creativity has always been the heart of Tumblr, whether you’re the original poster or adding something brilliant in the reblogs, and nothing about this change is meant to limit that.

If you’d like to talk directly beyond the comments, leave a reply and we’ll follow up with as many of you as we can. We want to work with you to make Tumblr better.

[icannotgetoverbirds]

hey folks do we like this. reblog without commentary for reach

do we want this?

yes

no

Voting ended onMar 23

[wizardarchetypes]

?? idk what they put in the sun today bc i just went outside with sunscreen on for 30 minutes and came in and i’m covered in new freckles. for a second i thought i got dirt on my face bc they cropped up so suddenly

[iwantmoredragons]

They put Freckle Activation Beams, it's permanent until it goes away, don't worry

[wakingfromthewater]

Tumblrites, the hour has come for us to practice one of our most sacred rituals.

Likes to charge, reblogs to cast.

[json-derulo]

the past three weeks in a row, partner has gone to chipotle and been served by the same employee who, in bold defiance of the testimony of his own eyes and ears, ardently refuses to believe carnitas exist

[json-derulo]

partner: “Hi, could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and carnitas?”

employee (completely blank expression): “No.”

partner (autistic) (socialscript.exe encountered an unhandled exception) : “…Uh. Um. Sorry?”

employee: “We don’t have that.”

partner (wondering if perhaps he put too much of the authentic accent on the word and that’s what’s throwing the guy): “You don’t have…(pronouncing it whiter) carnitas?”

employee (face still unreadable): “No.”

partner (looking at the near-full hotel pan of perfectly normal carnitas in its usual place on the other side of the glass) (noticing this employee looks unfamiliar) (maybe he’s a new guy that just started five minutes ago with no training?) : “The…pork?” (pointing at it)

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (beginning to wonder if he’s the one that’s losing it) (desperately looks to the menu on the wall behind the employee) (the menu lists carnitas as a protein option) (the word “carnitas” is not crossed out or taped over or otherwise adulterated) (carnitas have been on the standard menu since at least 2016) : “Okay. Um. Are you…sure?”

other employee working the toppings part of the line (familiar) (have seen her before) (she has cool earrings): *gives the new guy a strange look, nudges him aside, and scoops the carnitas onto partner’s bowl before continuing with the other toppings*

Repeat conversation again the next week. And the next. Same guy. If it’s a bit, no one is laughing, including the employee.

[json-derulo]

theories I’ve considered:

- the employee keeps very strictly kosher/halal/vegan and refuses to handle pork (understandable, I respect that, but if you’re gonna work at a place that serves pork I do kinda feel like when someone orders it you’ve just gotta tap in a coworker to do it for you)

- someone did something gross to the carnitas and the employee is trying to warn people not to order it (??? throw it out then? also, three weeks in a row???)

- the employee is a space alien who views humans as so similar to pigs that for us to eat them is tantamount to cannibalism

[json-derulo]

- the employee is the lead in a kdrama romance about a pampered, clueless chaebol heir who is sent by his father to work in the company’s restaurants for a year in order to prove he’s ready to take over as CEO. he’s dumb as rocks but they can’t fire him or even correct him that harshly due to the power gradient. partner is just a minor reoccurring character, and the interaction is kept the same from week to week to highlight the development of the relationship between the employee and his love interest with the cool earrings (even if the restaurant is literally a fully-branded Chipotle, that’s somehow still not enough product placement for me to believe this is a real kdrama)

[json-derulo]

After reviewing again with partner, evidently I forgot a detail that set this week’s carnitas denial dance apart from the others.

partner (well aware of what he’s getting into with this guy now): “Hi. Could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and pork?”

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (demonstrating a level of patience only a public school teacher could have): *points at the pan of carnitas* “Could I please just have some of that?”

employee (after several slow, confused blinks): *points at the same pan* “That’s steak.”

partner (looking at the hotel pan they’re both pointing at) (it is filled with shredded meat of a pale beige color) (at the other end of the row of pans is another pan containing dark brown, lightly charred meat chopped into small pieces): “Okay.” *deciding he’s willing to play in this fantasy space if it gets the job done, he points at the first pan again* Then could I please have the steak?”

employee: *starts to reach for the pan at the other end containing the actual steak*

partner: "Oh—no, sorry, this one please?" *points at the first pan containing the carnitas*

employee: *blinks, then just walks away and starts helping the next customer in line, leaving partner's bowl unfinished*

other employee with cool earrings: *rolls her eyes at new employee, takes partner’s bowl, and fills it with carnitas herself*

new theories:

- the employee is a bridge troll who will only dole out his delectable carnitas to those who prove themselves worthy by correctly answering his riddles three

- the employee is stoned out of his mind at all times on a specific strain of weed that totally erases the concept of pork from his memory and awareness

[forever-stuck-on-java-8]

YAML is so cursed. Literally the worse config language

[iwantmoredragons]

#born to use toml #forced to use yaml

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

straight up it should be illegal for a physical storefront not to accept physical currency, or for restaurants not to provide physical menus

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I'm assuming the above is a normie opinion (as it should be) so i do wanna go a tiny step further and explicitly state any laundromat that requires digital payment should be burned to the fucking ground

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

if a business cooerces its customers to download an app, i should legally be allowed to set both the business and its board of directors on fire

[the-ganymedian]

Additionally, it should be illegal for a vending machine to not accept physical currency.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

precisely!

though it should be noted that cashless vending machines do accept at least one form of physical currency:

[knot-doing-it]

Fully agree, though unfortunately they tend to also have eyes

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

which brings me to fun and easy direct action to prune the terrifying overgrowth of the modern Surveillance State:

[pangur-and-grim]

I feel so insane about ai. I've had face-to-face conversations with people who use it for therapy, who use it to calculate the safety of pill interactions, who use it for all their emails and grant applications and legal documents and academic papers and finance sheets and for every single question they have about the world, and if you tell them about the ecological costs they just laugh and say "I guess I've used a lot of water." and I've been in multiple gatherings of 10+ people where I'm THE ONLY PERSON who doesn't use chatgpt. it's turning me into a ranting raving pariah, because how don't you people see??? why don't you understand??????? this bullshit didn't exist five years ago, you absolutely do not need it, and it is destroying everything

[boybeetles]

Someone in Glasgow please go see this for me pls. I will be there in spirit 🙏

[tinyglowingsharks]

Brief report from the flute accompaniment:

It went well! At least 100 people attended, families dogs a solid portion of Glasgow's trans community. There was a really lovely atmosphere, nice weather and a very cheerful celebratory vibe.

After short speeches from the ballhaver and the large dyke (my wife), the ballhaver was given a chupa chup and blindfolded (execution style). The balls were then duly kicked; it made a surprisingly loud dull thumping sound. She fell to the ground to loud cheers and there was a moment of silence while Taps played on the flute. The large dyke wore solovair urban hikers.

[polar-bear-butch]

Account from the Large Dyke.

Arrived early to find the crowd already gathering, so the kick got off to a prompt start. Following some introductions from everybody and some cheery folk music from our flautist (my wife!) we got on with the kick.

I think we got good contact, the top of my boot making a good solid noise on impact. Very good atmosphere all round, people stayed to chat for a while. Were it not January it would have been an excellent opportunity for a picnic.

10/10 queer event, would happily kick anybody in the balls in the name of community.

[noisepuppy]

Account from the ball haver

7am: the pressure is getting to me; I wake up and drink half a bottle of diet iron bru from my bedside table; roll out of bed, and psych myself up in the mirror - "you can do this my little pogchamp" I say to myself over and over until I decend into a stupor.

8am: I play an hour of Okami on steam to replenish my chi levels

9am: I look at my balls for a while

10am: I spend 20 or so minutes trying to decide what to wear before realising it's the subartic in midwinter and I'm going to have to dress for -2C° regardless of what I choose and opt of my trusty black Schott thermal padded winter flight jacket and a pair of loose, warm Uniqlo trousers to give my testicles room to breathe.

11am: crashing out, texting my friends to arange a substitute kickee, an understudy, anybody so I can just become one with the crowd and not go through with it

12am: the homies have arrived, I'm drinking redbush tea in a small cafe by the park; god is in his heaven and all is right with the world

12.15: "you must be here to watch me get kicked in the balls?"

12.40: a circle emerges, from within the circle a palpable energy focuses like a lens down unto me and I feel like I'm gonna pee my pants a little

12.50: cheers begin, several complete families with dogs arrive - more friends appear and assort themselves into a gathering of 'real heads' ready to watch my groin be dessicated by the firm lace of a women for woman woman with a foot loosed through the gates of war as Augustus saw fit the dispatch and return of his troops from far corners through the blessings of Janus.

12.55: I think I left the stove on

1pm: Short introductions are made, grace is shown, music accompanies the gathering

1.03pm: what is left of my dignity disappears up my inguinal canal; I can feel it more in my lower chest than I can in my groin but the humour and adrenaline lift me and I'm laughing on my feet again soon. I kneel for the last post.

[silly-signs]

Official silly sign

(Link to a spectator’s POV)

[boybeetles]

Someone in Glasgow please go see this for me pls. I will be there in spirit 🙏

[tinyglowingsharks]

Brief report from the flute accompaniment:

It went well! At least 100 people attended, families dogs a solid portion of Glasgow's trans community. There was a really lovely atmosphere, nice weather and a very cheerful celebratory vibe.

After short speeches from the ballhaver and the large dyke (my wife), the ballhaver was given a chupa chup and blindfolded (execution style). The balls were then duly kicked; it made a surprisingly loud dull thumping sound. She fell to the ground to loud cheers and there was a moment of silence while Taps played on the flute. The large dyke wore solovair urban hikers.

[polar-bear-butch]

Account from the Large Dyke.

Arrived early to find the crowd already gathering, so the kick got off to a prompt start. Following some introductions from everybody and some cheery folk music from our flautist (my wife!) we got on with the kick.

I think we got good contact, the top of my boot making a good solid noise on impact. Very good atmosphere all round, people stayed to chat for a while. Were it not January it would have been an excellent opportunity for a picnic.

10/10 queer event, would happily kick anybody in the balls in the name of community.

[noisepuppy]

Account from the ball haver

7am: the pressure is getting to me; I wake up and drink half a bottle of diet iron bru from my bedside table; roll out of bed, and psych myself up in the mirror - "you can do this my little pogchamp" I say to myself over and over until I decend into a stupor.

8am: I play an hour of Okami on steam to replenish my chi levels

9am: I look at my balls for a while

10am: I spend 20 or so minutes trying to decide what to wear before realising it's the subartic in midwinter and I'm going to have to dress for -2C° regardless of what I choose and opt of my trusty black Schott thermal padded winter flight jacket and a pair of loose, warm Uniqlo trousers to give my testicles room to breathe.

11am: crashing out, texting my friends to arange a substitute kickee, an understudy, anybody so I can just become one with the crowd and not go through with it

12am: the homies have arrived, I'm drinking redbush tea in a small cafe by the park; god is in his heaven and all is right with the world

12.15: "you must be here to watch me get kicked in the balls?"

12.40: a circle emerges, from within the circle a palpable energy focuses like a lens down unto me and I feel like I'm gonna pee my pants a little

12.50: cheers begin, several complete families with dogs arrive - more friends appear and assort themselves into a gathering of 'real heads' ready to watch my groin be dessicated by the firm lace of a women for woman woman with a foot loosed through the gates of war as Augustus saw fit the dispatch and return of his troops from far corners through the blessings of Janus.

12.55: I think I left the stove on

1pm: Short introductions are made, grace is shown, music accompanies the gathering

1.03pm: what is left of my dignity disappears up my inguinal canal; I can feel it more in my lower chest than I can in my groin but the humour and adrenaline lift me and I'm laughing on my feet again soon. I kneel for the last post.

[silly-signs]

Official silly sign

(Link to a spectator’s POV)

magical girl shows really did snap when they assigned personality traits based off the members colors

[gayhex]

pink - commander and the leader. probably really nice and sweet

blue - probably very close to pink, is either 100 iq smarty pants but shy or very tough and cool

yellow/orange - very happy and positive. can vary from being newbie of the group to be older and mature, probably known as the beautiful one

purple - mysterious, usually starts off as a rival or joins the group later, but is definitely known to the members as another MG. Probably has a softer side they don’t show

[squeezemetillipop]

Don’t forget green - more mature and very reliable

[kuramamanamahamanamana]

Red - Mad

[metaphoricalicecream]

[maybemoonbeams]

okay but this implies the existence of a lost pink teletubby. a fallen leader too painful to talk about anymore

[starwarsepisodeiv]

tubby custard.

[maybemoonbeams]

[unicornmitteneater]

where….where are the notes……

[piesandswords]

in the tubby custard with the pink teletubby

[homunculus-argument]

I know that I'll certainly never be someone they'd build a memorial for, but if I could get one, I'd like to get one of those park bench statues that are sitting on the bench. Specifically of me sitting casually looking towards the other seat at an angle, looking intrigued with a "surprised but not disappointed" kind of a look on my face. Kind of a "huh, won't you look at that."

I want that specifically so people can make it a meme to post pictures of themselves showing me stuff. Like memes off their phone.

Or maybe things that they are proud of but don't have anyone else to show them to. Like your school graduation papers, this cool knitting project you finally finished, your baby who's never going to see their grandparents.

And I also want a clause that they will absolutely fucking never put those anti-homeless things of any kind on my damn bench. So if there's ever someone who's got nobody else to keep them company, they can at least spend the night with me.

[tsundernova]

Domestic dispute in public

[evilwizard]

i have hidden a golden ticket in one of my posts, and whoever finds it will get to go on a Marvelous Tour of my Whimsical Tower in which I Will Not Kill You and You Will Not Be Killed .

[evilwizard]

you will Not be chopped up and used for spell components, let me make that clear

[evilwizard]

ignore the Doompa Loompas

[dieuwt]

Doompa Loompa Gloomity Grain

The tower's a trap and they'll cut you in twain

Doompa Loompa Wiggity Woo

The spells in these books run on pieces of you!

[evilwizard]

could you guys shut tf up for once

[foxes-in-love]

[crittizen]

this is a poem

[wa-u-moved]

i couldn’t not draw this

[i-say-ok]

ok…!

[luxury-nightmare]

babe are you okay, your reblogging the subway rat poem again

[the-haiku-bot]

babe are you okay,

your reblogging the subway

rat poem again

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[depsidase]