The Looking Glass

Asexual / Biologist / USAmerican / Late 20s

[talesfromtreatment]

Tess is very very determined and nothing is going to stop her from doing what she wants.

[earliestest]

Escape attempt foiled by own desire to nom

[brightlotusmoon]

[abalidoth]

I wish I had one percent the determination and drive of this kitten that shares my name.

[dogpuppy]

[godlessondheimite]

“ice water makes you sick” “ice water gives you stomach cramps” i’m sorry if i have a hardy and oxlike american constitution but unless you have underlying health issues, the only water temperature that should cause adverse health effects is if you chug a gallon of boiling hot water that has also been laced with nefarious chemicals

[theclockwitch]

AH, this person has never been on a forced 10k run in 90 degree heat 90 % humidity and then forced to slam a liter of ice water.

You will cramp. You will throw up. It will not rehydrate you at all. The medic will get to practice his large bore IVs.

[godlessondheimite]

Yeah, most people haven’t and never will so this won’t actually happen to me.

[rhulyon]

This misinformation is actually dangerous. If you drink ice cold water after workout, you can freeze and crack your gut mucus that protects you from your own digestión acids and could create an ulcer.

[bunjywunjy]

in drinking ice water, you are functionally adding several ounces of 32° f water into a solid body of 100+ lbs at 98° f.

that water is not doing jack shit to your stomach lining, your body is simply too much of a thermal reservoir. the water is already increased significantly in temperature by the time it reaches your stomach.

in order to actually freeze anything inside your body you have to be drinking liquid nitrogen. ice water is fine!

it might make your stomach nerves uncomfy if you're super sensitive or not used to it, but it's not actually doing you physical harm

[bunjywunjy]

also note for everyone under extreme heat this summer who has access safe to ice: you can just hold an ice cube in your mouth to cool yourself down. it's good for you

[t00thpasteface]

nothing online is ever truly deleted. except that one fucking thing you're looking for

[3000s]

nothing 2 melatonin gummies and 3 benadryl cant fix

[3000s]

i bet i did

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

[krystal-prisms]

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gosh I enjoy this website

[authoratmidnight]

For comparison, this is a daffodil

[quietlygrousing]

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

[maejacrezz007]

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

[fractiousrvt]

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

[blood-trip-god2]

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

[delphinidin4]

This is a marigold:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

[apolladay]

Before you are two magic buttons. Button A: you will never have to clean your kitchen again (dishes are automatically done; floor swept and mopped; etc). Button B: you will never have to clean your bathroom again (toilet & sink & tub/shower cleaned and sanitized; etc) Which button do you push?

A

B

Voting ended onJun 3

[heliophile-oxon]

So many comments, many of them wise and all of them heartfelt, and yet nobody has thought to add ...

the fridge-freezer is in the kitchen. Not only are there dishes every day, not only are there food preparation surfaces of various kinds every day, not only are there crumbs and odds and ends that fall on the floor every day ... but the fridge-freezer is in the kitchen. The oven is in the kitchen, the food cupboards are in the kitchen, and above all THE KITCHEN BIN IS IN THE KITCHEN.

I mean, it's not like the bathroom is all sweetness and light, but seriously! Who in their right mind is choosing the bathroom?!?!?!?

Ils sont fous, ces Romains tumblrains.

[sufficientlylargen]

Having a magically-self-cleaning bathroom would be cool, but it wouldn't dramatically change my lifestyle.

If I could cook or bake whatever the hell I wanted, knowing that all my pots and mixing bowls and baking sheets would just zap themselves clean when I finished? If I knew that I could spill batter or grease inside the oven or burn things onto baking racks and it would just go away? I would be making delicious shit constantly.

[earhartsease]

from @baddywronglegs

#You can piss in the kitchen sink but you can't make lasagna in the shower

@theshitpostcalligrapher this one deserves to be writ large

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

yeag.....

[specialagentartemis]

“This recipe is perfect for weeknights—it only takes 30 minutes!” and and the first ingredient is an entire butternut squash cut into 1-inch cubes

[outtox1cated]

New favorite genre of posts

[queer-as-city-folk]

"DSA just adopted a platform of free puppies and kittens for everyone who wants one and that is just the tip of the iceberg"

[queer-as-city-folk]

The way that people always scare monger about DSA by saying "they want good things" is always funny to me

[cuteness--overload]

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

things to say after fucking up egregiously

pack it up boys we've made a social blunder

let's run that again

one more time normal style

I'm going to become a statistic

further proof god is out to get me

it's because I tore my acl senior year

I couldn't do it for religious reasons

my ex took my talent in the divorce

good thing nobody saw that (said directly to someone who definitely saw it)

[funstyle]

Im always like "i will not add my two cents. i will not add my two cents" but i cant lie the pennies are getting sweaty in my hand

[jaubaius]

No way out

[bogleech]

idiot jail for ignorant beasts

[lochnutmonster]

Sisyphus

[chortlebot]

one must imagine sisyphus ouppy

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

anyway the thing about Ratthi and Gurathin is that I could get behind them as a Thing but literally the only version that works for me is Gurathin being So Fucking Mad that he could bite through METAL because it's sooooo stupid that he did the Most Basic Thing imaginable and got a stupid lil crush on the Hot Nice Guy from work that everybody wants to fuck. oooooh wow Gurathin that guy is hot and nice and now you want to touch his junk about it??? groundbreaking. inspiring. idiot. obviously he'll be taking this to his grave. and meanwhile Ratthi's acting like the girl from a horse girl movie. going pspsps with lil sugar cubes. trying to lure Gurathin to his polycule board game night.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Ratthi isn't even doing it with Intent he just thinks Gurathin needs more enrichment but every time he's like oh hey wanna get a smoothie after work :) no pressure :) only if you're up for that haha :) Gurathin's going oh fuuuuuck he's trying to seduce me 🤬

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

and he knows the rules!!! he knows all of the weird rules and how to set up the board and what the weird little tokens are for and he's keeping track of points because he has to have a Task to alleviate the inherent mortification of being invited to your hot nice coworker's polycule board game night so now he's just. Gamemaster Gurathin. everyone loves him, invite him back!!! Ratthi thinks he's just discovered a previously untapped passion for game night that no one has ever figured out but Gurathin is in HELL. fighting for his life trying to keep track of the points in Sci-Fi!Wingspan and update his spreadsheet where he's trying to figure out how all of these people are involved with each other. Murderbot keeps hacking in to make annotations because its desire to watch Gurathin suffer slightly outweighs its distaste for romantic and sexual relations.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Murderbot isn't adding anything incorrect for the record it's just stressing Gurathin out with extra info. sliding in with shit like "you forgot to note that Variables Three and Seven have recently become romantic partners" and Gurathin's like "bullshit, they're both dating Variable Four but they're not involved with each other" and Murderbot goes "incorrect. they went on their first date this weekend. Ratthi is very excited for them and told me about it this morning. it was agony." and then Gurathin throws up

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

yes yes yes yes yes

Gurathin snaps back in before anyone has to remind him, immediately gives himself a blistering 99 point lead, reminds Ratthi for the third time about an advantage that he's been forgetting to use, and immediately zones back out to keep arguing with MB about whether Variable Thirteen even belongs on the spreadsheet or if they're just a friend that Variable Five brought along

[caesarsaladinn]

“I was not a flying officer, I was a staff officer, but I analyzed bombing and bombing operations and how to make them more efficient, i.e. not more efficient in a sense of killing more,” although that’s exactly what they did, “but more efficient in weakening the adversary.”

brutal quote break

[caesarsaladinn]

McNamara remembered taking part in a briefing session in Guam in March 1945 after a firebombing raid over Tokyo at which one B-29 crew commander complained, “Some Goddamned fool took this airplane that can fly at high altitude and ordered us to go in at 7,000, and I lost my wingman. I’d like to know who that son-of-a-bitch was.” McNamara [who had helped make the decision] happened to be sitting next to LeMay. “He knew, having been in the lead airplane himself, exactly what that young man had been facing. He got up and gave a very sensitively stated—sympathetic but clear—answer. He said, in effect, ‘Well, our job is to destroy targets and the proper measure you should give, captain, of relative losses at high level and low level is not per sortie, but per target destroyed. So, per unit of destruction, you’re way ahead.’

there there son. I know it's tough, but you have to remember: you're just a number to your country

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

well maybe you should blearily wake up at 5:08 in the pre-dawn light and find the sleeping soft tiny mammal body of your cat just inches from your head like a miracle too beautiful for speech, and you should rustle one hand out from your blankets to rub fingertip circles across the warm eggshell dome of her little velvet-wrapped skull and on the bristly patches just where the cups of her ears begin, and as she inclines her head into your fingers and purrs without ever opening her little eyes you should feel a love so tender that you understand how that love could have reached out from the fireside into the inky spangled nights long gone to reach her, and then you'll feel better

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

i am at a complete loss as to how to adequately express to you how much this cat throws up yeah

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Tumblr tag from hotTubSharts reading: and then maybe she'll wake you again at 6 to the sound of her puking on the floor. maybe /End ID]