somebody.

17 | she/they ♑︎♋︎♐︎

[janatfs]

at this point, i think my life finally has changed. i am so much happier and now i know that everything happens for a reason. i still hate school and get mad at people sometimes. everything gets better <3 i believe in you. you matter. please never give up. i struggled with depression for over 8 years and i finally accepted it and learned how to live with it. i know that all of you are stronger than your mental illnesses.

[janatfs]

did you ever ran away from something so hard that you eventually ran straight into it?

[vanisillusion]

“Gerechtigkeit gibt es nur, wenn niemandem unrecht getan wird”

— Luna Darko

[traeumendestille]

[st-alajlan-deactivated20210402]

Sorry I didn’t text you back my anxiety told me I was bothering you

[janatfs]

manchmal denk ich nicht nach. mal zu viel, mal zu weit, mal an nichts. aber ein song reicht.

[janatfs]

keep it private until you know it’s permanent

- joker

[janatfs]

note to my future self. if you ever wonder if they will find someone better just remind yourself that what you did for them wasn’t just made within a few weeks. it took a long time. you gave them more than they have ever deserved. you gave them your time and you wrote them so many poems. you made playlists for them on pinterest and on soundcloud. you made them a better person. you tried to cheer them up even if the only thing they did was break your heart all over again. you loved them in times when everybody around you told you that you just should let them go. you made a whole folder in your notes about them. you started writing a book about them. you gave them freedom. you forgave them all over again. you thought they really change this time. you never blamed them for their actions. you invested 13 months to get them back just for them to cheat on you. it took a long time to make all these things. they never did something in return. in the end they realised what they have lost but i have grown to know my worth. i invested 3 years of my life fighting for a random humanbeing to love me just because i was attached to them. they told me that they love me but then get with someone else 3 months later and made me feel so fucking worthless. they had sex with multiple girls during the relationship and during the breakup and couldn’t be honest with me when i asked them because they regretted leaving me. i found out myself and since that day i feel nothing but anger towards them. but i still can’t get over what they did to me and i hope someday i will be able to look back and feel inner peace.

[janatfs]

du bist mein ketamin, mein heroin - immer zwischen gift und medizin. und wir sind verloren.

- casper

[janatfs]

we could be heroes just for one day. we can be us just for one day. - david bowie

[janatfs]

i'm sure we're taller in another dimension

[kkraftkklub]

#wirsindmehr

[janatfs]

pia: wie viele jahre schule sind nötig, um ein kind zu brechen?

myko: das geht recht schnell, zwei jahre auf dem gymnasium mit striktem lehrplan (ohne bezug zum aktuellen leben) und unzufriedenen lehrern können da schon ausreichen.

> luna darko - myko; gedanken in der nacht

[janatfs]

„Und jetzt bin ich beinahe dreißig, was ist, wenn die beste Phase meines Lebens schon vorbei ist? Wer weiß, vielleicht hab' ich eine Quarterlife Crisis, vielleicht bin ich auch einfach nur ein kleines bisschen neidisch. Vielleicht wünsche ich mir heimlich auch ein kleines Haus im Grün, vielleicht fehlen mir irgendwann dann nicht mal mehr die kleinen Bühnen. Vielleicht hätte ich ja Bock, mir diesen ganzen Quatsch zu geben. Vielleicht wird er ja gar nicht so scheiße - der Rest meines Lebens.“

Quelle: Felix Kummer

[janatfs]

i wish i was able to talk to you in person again.

[janatfs]

damn, i really wanted us to work out.

[janatfs]

why is it so fucking hard to feel alive?