5+1 Times Jarvis Wanted to Remain Hidden
#2: Breakfast, Dinner and Other Baked Goods
There are times in the tower when everyone is either too tired or too lazy to do anything for themselves. Basic needs such as feeding themselves just so happen to be one of them.
At one point they even managed to order takeout for an entire week straight. (It was appalling and Unforgivable.)
Frankly, they were a bit sick of seeing nothing but greasy take-out containers.
Tony was in his workshop as normal working on his armor, all was quiet except for Dum-E’s beeps as he handed Tony the requested tools and the subtle clack of metal needles and low humming. Jarvis sat on the couch at the edge of the workshop and concentrated on her knitting while singing an old tune from Tony's childhood.
Tony was so lost in thought on what he wanted to do and what else needed upgrades that he almost missed when the humming had stopped. Turning around, he caught a glimpse of Jarvis’s tail as she disappeared into the nearest ventilation shaft.
“Jarvis, what is it? What's wrong?” Tony looked worried thinking that something had happened to her “Friday?”
He was almost jumped when he heard her over the speakers, “My apologies, sir, but it appears that the captain is on his way down with some food.”
“Please tell me it's not-” He was interrupted by Steve walking in with a handful of Chinese takeout. He almost succeeded in suppressing a groan. “Not take out again.” He whined.
“Sorry, Tony. But unless you want to cook it's takeout again.” He placed the container on the workbench next to Tony's arm and quickly left.
Tony stared at the container of food disdainfully until he heard the doors to his workshop close. “Coast is clear.” He yelled into the open air.
He turned to Jarvis as she climbed out of her hiding spot and proceeded to make concerned cooing noises at him.
“Do something about... this.” He jabbed his fork at the noodles to punctuate his point or what ‘this’ is.
“Like what?” She questioned.
“I don't know... Make something. Anything!” Tony was close to pleading. “I don't care if I get a PB&J on wheat. Just... Do something!”
Giving him a thoughtful look as she considered her options, Jarvis just nodded as she slid back onto the couch and continued her knitting.
One morning, after yet another tiring battle with the latest villain of the night before, The Avengers come back to see breakfast already laid out for them. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, sausage, and plenty of different juices and other beverages.
“Aww yeah, ‘bout time someone decided to cook again. I was about to ban fast food for at least a month, or go on a fast if I was forced to choke down any more Chinese food.” Clint cheered while Tony just muttered to himself.
“It's not like we held you down and forced you to eat egg foo young for the last week.”
“Well whoever it was, I say thanks.” Natasha is already piling a plate with food.
“Cap seems to love getting up at the ass crack of dawn, so I'll just assume it was him.” Clint was quickly following behind her. It almost seemed like they were making a stacking contest out of it (probably were).
“It wasn't me, I assumed it was Bruce.” Steve looks over to said scientist to confirm his suspicions.
Bruce, for his part just looked on with tired eyes and a drooping frame. He blinked slowly as he realized that someone was speaking to him.
“Wasn't me,” he deliberately spoke slowly and carefully. “The Other guy and I just got done being reacquainted with our holding cell for the past... 10 hours.” He had paused to check his watch.
“Natasha outed herself as not cooking, and unless Thor finally learned to enter like a normal person and not the literal ‘trainwreck-meets-a-glass-store’, that only leaves…”
Everyone's eyes looked to Tony as he stares back in equal measure.
“News flash, seeds for brains, I just got off sixty-four hours of product production for Pepper. I didn't have time to come up.”
Steve was about to object because of all the times he's been to the workshop, Tony has had a scattered plate here or an abandoned cup there of what appeared to have been some form of a snack. But conceded his point to maybe one of the others giving him those and not telling.
After breakfast, they all scattered to do their own thing and agree that it's pretty much every man for himself come lunchtime.
The evening is pretty much a repeat of the morning, an array of food is laid out for them and no one is claiming responsibility. Then again, who questions ‘Build-Your-Own Taco’ night?
This continues well into the next few days until Natasha makes an off comment during training. All she did was mention how much she missed authentic Russian cuisine and how hard it was to find some, even in New York. The next time dinner rolls around everyone is surprised to see the vast dishes of Russian food. Which, unfortunately, raised her suspicions, everyone else ignored it.
It continued on as normal, or as normal as they can get when it happened again. Bruce told Tony in the privacy of his lab about how much he missed the spicy food of India. A few days later the team was treated to Indian for dinner. Bruce thought Tony was behind this but he was just as surprised as everyone else.
The strangest part was that it didn't stop with breakfast or the occasional dinner request, no. There were sometimes other baked goods waiting for them such as the peanut butter cookies that appeared in Bruce's lab one day. The chocolate cake that was left for Steve on his birthday was a blessing he didn't expect, Natasha’s pistachio ice cream was her new favorite and the snickerdoodles waiting for Clint after a particularly bad day quickly brightened the remainder of it.
The only one not questioning it was Tony, which made Natasha all the more suspicious. She decided to corner Tony and interrogate him about it.
“Was it you?” She had just pinned Tony to the wall with a stone glare.
“Yeah, it was me.” He averted his eyes, sighing when she stared harder. “I was the one to drink the rest of your juice.” He confessed.
“I don't care about that... Yet. I'm talking about the food.” Tony gave her a confused look until she clarified. “The breakfasts, the dinners, the cakes, and cookies... My ice cream! Every time someone makes a request for anything specific it's there the next day. Was. It. You?” She repeats slowly. For a split second, Tony could have sworn he saw a bit of hysteria in her eyes but chalked it up to his imagination.
For the most part, Tony just rolled his eyes.
“I told you I had someone for just about everything. I'm too busy to be responsible, so I have someone else do it for me. For once in your life enjoy the few pleasures that are provided to you.” She released him with a surprised look on her face and watched as he walked away.
That's how she thought about his offer and decided to give it a try, but a small part of her said to keep an eye out.
