I'm probably watching cartoons

~Jasper~ ~They/He~ This is a place to talk chill out and be whoever you want to be, I like plants and science and will talk about anything forever, and I have an undying love for Scooby-Doo.

[its-funnytwittertweets]

[dragonpyre]

[sevastiel]

[local-lesbian-tree-demon]

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[raptorgirlfeathers]

creature fact: you have just been bited

[violentdevotion]

someone in the UK threw eggs at Charles and was arrested and has been banned from openly carrying eggs in public and has since been sent death threats but their statement on the matter was so fucking good

[0jamajos]

also let's take a moment to appreciate the picture of this man being arrested

[humanoidchaos]

🥚❤

[fez-ryan]

"So my bail conditions were, between my arrest and my trial, were that I wasn't allowed to carry eggs in public." host laughs "Yeah, I know, and so that is in itself like so absurd that it's like right" Host: "I gotta know, is there like a provision for if you're going home from the store? Or are you just, are you just egg-less?" "So the copper who was literally just like making this up at the station says like 'Ok, so your bail condition is: you're not allowed within 500 meters of the king; you're not allowed to carry eggs in public' and then he goes like 'ah actually, like, what 'appens if he wants to buy some eggs?' Ok, so they changed it so it's like, 'You're allowed to carry eggs as long as you're going home from the shops and you've got the receipt" host laughs "And I think, that was more viral than me actually doing it, you know what I mean like, people were like, that's Britain for you, have you got a license for those eggs"

-"The Man Who Egged King Charles", It Could Happen Here, May 18 2023

[soulren]

“Ghosts are real” I can see how you could believe that

“Ghosts aren’t real” it’s very fair and rational that you believe that

“Ghosts aren’t real anymore” I’m about to hear a poem or very sad story

“Ghosts aren’t real yet” the fuck are you going to do

[one-hell-of-a-sheep]

why does oscar wilde take 150 pages to write something he could literally say in a paragraph

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gay

[yurious-george]

compelling argument

[mossadspydolphin]

what does this say about victor hugo

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

no he was just french

[jam-the-hologram]

R.R Tolkien?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

autistic infodumping

[elden-12]

Put this together and I dread to think how long a novel by an autistic gay Frenchman would be. :p

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[maxxie-or-smth]

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

[facts-i-just-made-up]

The communist party never really issued cards, when one refers to card carrying members of that party, they refer to Magic: The Gathering cards, a popular game among Lenin and his friends.

[draptorronin]

Trotsky was banned from tournament play after Stalin deemed his deck problematic.

For years after his banning, Trotsky frequently posted long, rambling messages on various TCG forums, going on & on about how it was, in fact, Stalin’s deck that was the toxic metagame maker, how tournament management is poorly run, etc etc.

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Nah Trotsky was just annoyed that Stalin used a Pokémon card-

[official-michigan-posts]

i'm definitely not qualified to answer this chat what do you think

[official-michigan-posts]

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!!!!

THE WRECK OF THE EDMUND FITZGERALD IS!!

YURI!!!!!!!

[sharkgirldick]

So what makes a butcher knife more butch than other knives?

[nature-nerd-sarah]

The knife itself isn't necessarily butch. It's named that because it's wielded by a butcher, who is more butch than the other food shop owners

[sharkgirldick]

Hmm, I see.

What, then, makes the butcher more butch than other food shop owners?

[dragongirlbunny]

the knife

[academicblorbo]

That's what ancient Greek philosophy is like

[jasper-is-lost]

Enriching my uranium

[thegaymertrainer]

If you come in you don’t have to come out

[pinene]

the way this is like baaaaarely parody

[diane-nguyen-watches-cartoons-d]

bringing in a second actor towards the end of the video to deliver a single devastating punchline is brilliant writing

[catboyaoi]

wow this cannot be good for me *keeps doing it*

[homunculus-argument]

this emerged in my head when I was trying to drive

[oldblankcanv-deactivated2022011]

May I propose the fill ins?

[rat-in-impossible-location]

#i am undiagnosing myself with 'adhd' and rediagnosing myself with 'cursed by wizard'

[thememedaddy]

[guerrillatech]

[spillthejuice-deactivated202207]

This is revolutionary

[broadminded]