More in the chronicles of Damian and Duke live pretty much alone in a massive ass mansion with very minimal supervision
They definitely love sliding around on the floors with socks on, itās definitely banned but that wonāt stop them
I can imagine them playing chess on Dukeās phone in the strangest of places, theyāre like upside down and Duke is losing to this child
Their rooms are next to each other, so if they annoy each other let it be known they play loud ass music to annoy the other, but it canāt be music they like since they have the same music taste it has to be like the most absurd shit neither of them listen to or like
Duke eats at weird times since heās patrolling over normal meals, so Damian is fully used to finding this guy creeping down the stairs at fuck all oāclock to make himself rice (Damian tries to be sure heās awake to eat with him because he knows Duke used to eat every meal with his family so itās nice for him)
They are so insanely good at adding onto each others lies, sure all the bats do it to avoid Bruce finding out about their bullshit, but they are especially good at it
Duke hates over head lights, quite frankly he forgets most people need light at all because his powers fix it for him, Damian loves to open his door, turn the light on and then run away without closing it and itās the closing thing to a flash bang he can get
Damian does not let people normally touch his pets, however sometimes he just dumps them on Dukes bed when heās sleeping to wake him up, Duke has previously been woken up to a dragon 5 cm form his face, itās that or Damian gets an air horn
Just that one gravity scene from lilo and stitch tbh
Whenever Damian gets bored he hides dukes contrabands and watches him panic that Bruce found them until giving them back, Duke would return the favour but he canāt find Damianās stash
They hang out on the roof, a lot, like yknow the rooftop hangout spot they have in gravity falls, they have that but positioned so it canāt be seen be anyone on the property
also kinda gravity falls inspired they definitely drift on Bruceās golf carts for sport
Hey if youāre schizophrenic/psychotic I just want you to know that youāre a wonderful person and that you deserve so much better than the demonization, marginalization and stigmatization you face in this society.
Please consider reblogging this/other positivity posts for schizophrenic/psychotic people every once in a while. If you have more than 100 followers, odds are that a couple of them experiences psychosis and that they rarely see positivity posts for people with their symptoms.
Tumblr added a bunch of tracking shit to share urls, so now ill teach you how to get rid of them
if you copy a url by sharing on the website, the link will look like this
getting rid of tracking in these is easy, just delete everything after the question mark and you are golden
in the case for the app, its slightly more complicated
first you have to delete at. that appears before tumblr(.)com the other tracking shit on this one has a lot more info, so please, clean app urls. after the first set of numbers, there's a / you have to delete everything after it
Batfamily but I make them eat my favorite Filipino food because it's Buwan ng Wika and fuck you, that's why //
.
.
Sick days mean soup days in Wayne Manor.
And this one was a challenge for Alfred ā because everyone except him was sick with varying degrees of suffering. Some had an awful cold (Damian is currently breathing out of his mouth). Some were coughing out their left lungs (Bruce's coughs alone was enough to cause a second No Man's Land). And at least two people have a piercing headache that gets worse if they use their jaws to chew (Cass already burst out in tears when she has to move her head).
So making only one sort of soup would not be enough.
Fortunately, the rainy season with a full house made Alfred a little indulgent.
And that's why the dining hall looked less like a dinner spread and more like a soup kitchen.
"Alfred, we love you, but now is not the time to go Michelin on us," Tim groaned, panting through clogged noses.
"I hardly think this is Michelin food, sir," Alfred clicked his tongue, pushing the boy's jaw shut, "And please have some manners, Master Tim."
"Chicken soup and black out curtains would've sufficed," Duke shivered, how he walked through the doors with such thick layers of sweaters on him, Alfred's yet to figure out.
"Chicken soup would be useless against clogged noses and swollen throats," Alfred said, smiling, "Simply dig in, sirs and madames. Trust that this spread of broth will do you well."
Damian is the first to obey, mostly because everyone is sure he's not entirely lucid anymore.
He leaned in to sip his soup...
...then promptly started crying.
"DAMIAN!?" Dick squeaked in worry from across him, making Cass hiss ("Dick, shut up, please...")
"It's good and doesn't make my tummy hurt," Damian sobbed, already shoveling more into his mouth, "And the beef is so soft that I don't have to chew so my brain doesn't hurt."
Alfred sighed in relief. The whole day, Damian had been struggling to keep food down. Easy porridge has all he'd manage, but he believed, and Alfred quotes this with the sincerest worry: it tastes like punishment.
"That would be Bulalo, sir," Alfred said.
Damian's eyes shimmer as he hugged the steaming bowl of broth, "I love you, Bulalo."
Cass rose her head from her sweater cocoon, glaring at her bowl, "Why does mine and Dick's have macaroni?"
"It's Sopas, madame... a version of chicken soup that's a little more thicker," Alfred informed her, "Good for you wheezing bunch."
The wheezing bunch ā Dick and Cass, who had spent last patrol screaming in the rain at each other ā promptly dug in.
Cass moaned, "Fuck, that's good."
"I don't even mind the vegetables in this one," Dick chuckled, but there were tears in his eyes from relief, because god knows their swollen throats can't handle a lot of anything right now.
Jason's eyes widened as he took dug his spoon from his bowl and in his mouth, "This is sour as fuck."
"You know what Sinigang is, Master Jason."
"Yes, but my Sinigang doesn't summon the prehistoric water of Antarctica," he huffed, pointing at Duke's bowl, "I want Nilaga! Duke, let's trade!"
Duke glared at him as he suckled through a corn cob, "Fuck you, man. I'm gonna kill myself if people take this bowl away from me."
"You're not even eating the saba!" Jason snapped, once again to Cass' horror next to him ("Jason, shut UP.")
Duke stuck out his tongue, before transferring the bananas onto Tim's own bowl of Nilaga, as the boy was still fast asleep on the table to care
Alfred rolled his eyes, plucking the bowl from Jason, "I shall exchange yours for Nilaga as well, sir."
It's at that moment where Bruce joins his family.
As expected, he got it the worst. After all, Bruce had spent last patrol wrangling his sopping wet children out of whatever accursed crevice they found themselves in to shield them from an onslaught of rain. He's miserable enough with knowing he'd be a hypocrite to scold them for insisting on patrol despite the weather reports, but now he also had everyone's symptoms.
Clogged nose. Hurting head. Twisted tummy. And a throat that claws at god's feet for mercy.
He sank down, clearly looking like he wants to go back to his den of darkness and cold medication.
Alfred placed his bowl down just as he serve the other young masters and young madame.
"Feel better, sir," he cooed at his ward.
But before Alfred can leave, Bruce dragged him my the wrist.
"Sir?"
"Ch'ch'r'n..."
"Pardon?"
Bruce squinted at him, "Mung...go..."
"Yes, sir, that is Munggo," Alfred agreed to the poor, lethargic tall child pouting at him, "There is minimal rice at the bottom, as you prefer."
"No charon?" Bruce frowned.
It clicked to Alfred what he meant, and he grimaced. "Master Bruce, need I remind you that your lockjaw is what's keeping your headache? You cannot afford to be chewing something as gammy as Chicharon!"
"Not Munggo w'thout 'charon..." Bruce wheezed.
Alfred rolled his eyes, scooped some Munggo and forced it into Bruce's mouth, "Well, you're going to have to settle for no Chicharon in your Munggo this time, sir."
Bruce teared up, "You hate me."
"No, I do not hate you, Master Bruce."
"You don't put chicharon in munggo because you hate me and want me to die."
"I will make you Kare-Kare when you get better to remedy this transgression, and you can have all the bagoong you want."
"Promise?"
"Yes, I promise."
.
.
.
Dinner was had in total silence, on a table full of people who were just happy to eat something that wasn't going to make their stomachs miserable.
Deeming his indulgent caretaking a success, Alfred ventured to pluck out his anticipated prize that he prepared alongside tonight's soup spread.
Unfortunately, Alfred forget to mind if he's alone.
"What's that?"
Alfred looked down as he was just about to eat his prized dessert. Damian was draped in a thick blanket, breath smelling more like medicine than soup.
"This is Biko, sir," Alfred said, poking at his plate, "It's a sort of rice cake. I made one earlier today, just in case anyone's coughs turned out to be, well, wet coughs."
"Smart. Sticky food to get rid of phlegm," Damian nodded.
Then the boy makes a show of coughing, much to Alfred's amusement.
"Oh? It looks like we have our first customer," he chuckled, halving a small portion and feeding it into Damian's wanting mouth.
Alfred watched the boy's puffy eyes light up in delight.
"I take it you both want and need this particular dessert?" Alfred offered his own plate.
Damian nodded, "You may keep that serving, Pennyworth, I can take care of myself."
"Oh? Then would you need help getting a dessert plate from the.... top of the...."
Alfred watched as Damian took a fork, then steal the entire tupperware full of Biko, before happily walking away.
Leaving Alfred with only one plateful of serving.
Alfred also highly doubted that Damian would be sharing with the rest who have sticky coughs tonight.
"That boy..." Alfred sighed, placing down the plate and turning back to the fridge.
He pulled out and unlocked another container full of Kuntsinta.
Just as he was about to enjoy a piece, a shadow materialized to join him in the kitchen.
Bruce stood there, comically also draped in a blanket.
He gave his guardian an expectant look, "I want 'chinta..."
i am of the sincere belief that if ur on ur computer a lot you should visually customize it to high hell and back not just for funsies but also because it has literally made me less depressed before. its kind of like how rearranging your bedroom is good for your brain, yknow. i do stuff like this every few months
LIVE WALLPAPER: wallpaper engine. only thing on here that costs any money (its like 5 bucks on steam). im sure theres free alternatives but this one has a lot of presets and stuff so its less hassle and its what i use. might be a bad idea for lower end pcs tho
CUSTOM TASKBAR: retrobar on github (lots of different options)
CUSTOM CURSOR: theres a lot of places to find these, but rw-designer open cursor library is a good place to start
DISCORD: betterdiscord, im using the clearvision v7 theme with a custom background
EXTENSIONS (these are for firefox, might or might not exist on other browsers):
tabliss for the new tab theme
stylus for tumblr -> specifically the 'tumblr - custom dashboard pallette' theme for colors + bg, and this for the pre-twitterifcation layout
enhancer for youtube for custom youtube colors
the browser theme is just one i found on the firefox theme 'store'
I think Bruce has a complicated relationship with food. Meals with his mom and dad could be rare and far apart but they were always special. After his mom and dad died, Bruce ate alone at the table while Alfred kept busy, in the same room but wouldn't sit at the table. Later Bruce, anxious and depressed, started obsessing over controlling his food intake and what he could eat. Alfred's love language was food but no matter what he cooked, Bruce stuck with his meal plan, taking in the nutrients he needed to maintain his physique but he doesn't take joy in food. If he's got to eat at events like gala dinners or luncheons, he pushes his food around, keeps conversation flowing and if he eats any of it, he exercises or doesn't eat any of his planned meals. When Dick comes along, there's a lot of disruption around meals, he insists that Dick eat properly, that he get nutritious meals but also that Alfred spoil him with whatever he wants. It's a gesture to appease Alfred and also make sure that Dick is happy but it hurts Bruce in a way, to sit at the table and let love back in but he never eats the same food as Dick, he sticks to his meals and again if Dick and he snack at other events, Bruce skips his planned meal. Dick notices when he's older but Alfred tells him there's not much they can do. Bruce is eating healthy after all, he's eating enough and besides, it's so deep seated in him that Bruce won't face it without a major upset. That is until Jason comes along. Malnourished Jason who has his own ideas about food intake, who eats sparingly and saves food for later no matter how hungry he is. Jason who worries about bothering Alfred for food, who takes a long time to eat whatever he's eating because he's savouring it because Alfred clearly made it special because Bruce is eating his usual standard meal as always and Jason must be such a burden. Jason who never asks for seconds but is clearly hungry for more. Bruce recognises the behaviour. Bruce starts to eat the same meals as Jason, he takes him for burgers on patrol, takes him for ice cream, he makes sure Jason has enough to eat, often asking Jason to finish what's on his plate before Alfred sees and yells about him spoiling his lunch with the shakes he and Jason got after school. Bruce who begins to repair his relationship with food because he won't allow Jason to feel as he does.
I love the hc that Jaybin had issues with drugs in general because of his mother's addiction. And, personally, I hc him to being very protective of Bruce and terrified of losing him because of the loss of Catherine and Willis. So, Jaybin who discovers that Alfred drugs Bruce.
He is horrified and scared. What if Bruce gets addicted and becomes like his late mother? What if he overdoses and dies? So he calls Dick, who gave him his number and told him to call if he needed anything. Dick who is Bruce's first son and Jason's older brother, who is an adult. He will know what to do!
But Dick says it's normal. Dick has no problem with it. And Jason feels betrayed and angry on Bruce's behalf. Of course Dick doesn't see the issue, he is never at home and when he is, he is mean to their dad, so he clearly doesn't care. At least, not as much as Jason! (To be clear, Dick cares deeply about Bruce, I just like the idea that, in Jaybin's eyes, Dick is an ass to their dad)
So Jason takes action. He cannot cook all of Bruce's meal, he doesn't have the time when he is at school or out as Robin with Batman and he also doesnāt have the skill (even tho Bruce always eats anything Jason makes him, even if it's terrible, with a smile) But he can taste them, to make sure they aren't poisoned!
Alfred immediately stops him, because the dose is way too high for a child (it's nearly too high for an adult) and Bruce would be furious if Jason ate drugged food. But Jason is really not letting any food get to Bruce's mouth without passing by him first. So, the butler has to accept defeat and stops drugging Bruce's food.
Until Jason dies, and Bruce doesn't sleep at all, even when he goes to bed on his own, grief and ghosts keeping him awake. Then, he starts again, and the dose is higher then before.
Bruce tilted his head to the side as he took the scarf into his hands. It was a mix of black and dark green, with a lopsided bat logo on one end and a not-so-lopsided Green Lantern logo on the other.
While the yarn was made of what seems to be high-quality material, the overall quality of the scarf isnāt so good. It was clearly homemade.
āā¦ this is scentedā¦ā Bruce rumbled, looking up at Hal, who was very pointedly looking away from him. "You scented this."
āOh?ā Hal scratched the back of his neck, leaning back on his heels and rocking, a sign of anxiety and nervousness. āUh, yeahā¦ I guess I did scent itā¦ā
Bruce looked down again and rubbed his hand over the soft scarf. āIs this your way of courting me?ā Despite his voice not wavering, Bruce asked the question with a certain sense of hesitance.
Hal sputtered, his face scrunching up like he was going to deny it, before his entire body drooped like the fight got drained out of him, and he looked down at his hands. āYeahā¦ā
Bruce gently rubbed the soft yarn between his fingers, even holding it away from his face; he could smell Hal's scent drenching the scarf. "It's pretty fragile." He noted, looking over at a few loose pieces of yarn that would unravel the entire thing if he tugged on it.
"Uh, yeah..."
Bruce pressed his lips together, glancing up at Hal before looking back down at the scarf. "It's so fragile that I couldn't possibly wear it out in public. It could get snagged on something and fall to pieces."
Hal's entire body seemed to collapse on itself as Bruce talked, his pheromones gaining a sour, despondent scent. "L-look, we can forget this entire thing; I can take it back-" Hal reached his hands out, intent on snatching it away and hiding out in space until the Earth exploded or something.
Bruce dodged Hal's hands and hugged the scarf to his chest. "No, this is mine. I simply meant... it's so fragile that it should be kept inside my nest for safekeeping..." A soft flush took over Bruce's cheeks as he looked away from the other man.
Hal blinked, and then his own blush came over his face. "O-oh! So... so is that-?"
Bruce rolled his eyes and grabbed Hal by the collar, dragging him forward and planting a soft kiss on his lips right then and there. After a minute or two, Bruce pulled away and grinned for a moment at the stupid, dazed expression on Hal's face.
"You're drooling, fly boy."
Hal blinked, trying to come up with a snappy response like he always did, but he felt as though his brain was completely fried after kissing Bruce. "Uh... yeah... so is this a yes?"
The corner of Bruce's mouth twitched up. "Yes, it is." He stated firmly. "I suppose it would be unreasonable of me if I didn't give you a chance..."
A wide smile broke out across Halās face, and despite thinking it might not go well, he surged forward and hugged the omega in front of him tightly.
It was a testament to how much Bruce liked him when all he did was sag into his hold instead of pushing him away. "You're not gonna regret this, Spooky, I swear."
"Don't call me Spooky when you just asked to court me."
"... My Omega...?"
"That would also make you My Omega."
"I'm okay with that. It'll be super cute and cheesy to share a pet name."
now that I think about it, the funniest part of post-crisis Tim and Jason isnāt just that Tim thinks Jason is a cringe loser. Itās that this must be the first time that Tim Drake, single most cringe boy in the entire DCU, has gotten to be on the other side of it. And the guy heās calling cringe is a 6 foot, 250lb crime boss who can and will beat his ass.
#and did!#was there anything quite as delicious as tim being beat to hell and coming out the end of it like#wow. you are such a cringe loser. (tags via @carol-ingā)
#sorry but every time tim is SO dismissive and annoyed about jason after he comes back it is hysterical#you almost killed that boy four times and you still can get any respect from him#heās a bougie white boy who says oop and thinks weed is evil#and YOU are the one guy he had decided is too cringe to put up with#jason is the most serious and dramatic and tragic character everywhere else#and then he goes to timā¦. (tags via @bitimdrake)
#said 6 foot loser is also weirdly obsessed with teaming up with tim#tim has never been more disgusted by that#jason: PLSSSS WORK WITH ME#tim: youāre a loser like the biggest loser i know#jason: UGH! I HATE U! like pls just work for me (tags via @damtroy)
#tim sees dick dressed like a CLOWN and still thinks heās cool#but somehow Jason is the weird one#if I was jason id be offended too (tags via @dimtrakeā)
#thereās no recovery from a tear away outfit that reveals an adult sized robin Halloween costume#complete with bright yellow tights underneath (tags via @aliteralchickenā)
#thereās no going back from the yellow tights#cringe be upon ye Jason Todd and fail be thy steed#gothamites#imagine being called cringe by somebody who says āoopā when they fall over#Iād return to my grave tbh (tags via @alternisā)
#this is so true#its a comedy show#and like yes jason will beat his ass for it but tim will be like#āthis is the most cringefail ass-kicking ive ever gotten :/ā#āyou get 2/5 stars did you even try (the 1 star is bc you used to be robin and dick grayson also used to be robin)#(and therefore you get some very slight coolness points from proximity to dick grayson)#(who is clearly the coolest guy to ever have walked this earth)ā#which i also think would offend jason. critical hit#you think the guy who was DISCOWING is COOLER THAN ME??? **DISCOWING???**#and tims just like. uh yeah duh?? i have eyes obviously heās cooler than you???#number 1 dick grayson fanboy. theres nothing jason can do abt that even if he does beat tim into the ground again#this knowledge brings jason great despair if he chooses to dwell on it. this is why he decides he cant let himself give a shit about tims o#*timās opinions (tags via @mamawasatesttubeā)
literally so embarrassing to have someone go "i don't go here" or "what's this from?" on my art and it's a rarepair/crackship that is in no way representative of the source material... and i have to be like. well you see, the rest of the restaurant's menu is not like this. i'm doing my own thing eating black olives right out of the can in the back-of-house. whether or not you want me to throw you a can, you have to understand that's not what they serve out front
š) On the ground, having a normal conversation: situational awareness of a concussed golden retriever. Bruce could ambush him on a rooftop in broad daylight wearing a bright yellow trench coat and Hal would still scream like a Victorian ghost sighting. this man got snuck up on by BATMAN. multiple times. it's basically a running bit at this point.
2) the second he's flying a plane or fighting as GL in open air: suddenly he has the most terrifyingly complete 360Ā° threat awareness known to sentient life. nothing gets past him. nothing surprises him. he sees you coming from four directions you didn't know existed.
And nobody ā not Hal, not the Corps, not Batman himself ā has ever gotten a straight answer on why
The thing is it's not the ring "turning on" awareness, it's that the sky is Hal's actual terrain. fighter pilot instincts + a ring literally built for full spatial combat awareness = the ONE environment where his brain finally does the thing it's supposed to do 100% of the time. put him back on solid ground having a normal chat and it just. shuts back off.
(see: the Zod fight, where he explicitly used open sky as a 360Ā° battlefield to win. vs. literally any comic where he's waiting on a rooftop and Batman materializes out of nowhere and Hal about has a heart attack.)
Conclusion: Hal Jordan is only spatially aware when he is Going Fast or Glowing Green. this is not a joke, this is canon, I don't make the rules
In my heart of hearts, Duke has once been so sleepy in some public function with the Waynes, and was trying to figure out whether or not it's appropriate to call Bruce "Dad" or "Mr. Wayne" in the context of whatever press he was getting and just...
"Well, Mr. Dad saysā"
Next day, it's everywhere. The media is eating it up. Everyone is wondering whether it was a special nickname, whether it was a tell of Duke's less-than-good time as a foster child of the Wayne Family, or just a case of brain fog
Except Bruce is elated
He too is eating it up. He is Dick's B, Jay's Pops, Tim and Cass' Dad (they are a twin set), Damian's Baba.... now, he's Duke's Mr. Dad. It's his instagram descriptor now. He is telling the press "Please, Mr. Wayne was my father....call me Mr. Duke's Dad!"
His PR team only sent one exasperated email: "Why"
Duke replied with a thumbs up photo while Bruce makes Mr. Bruce's son a sandwhich: "For the love of the game šš"
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