I Ship All The Things

Jake, he/him. This is my happy place. Check out my tags. Current fandoms: MDZS/The Untamed, various cdramas and kdramas, Sterek, AFTG, TFC, Legend of Zelda, ATLA, and the occasional Star Wars and Check Please! Header image by 噩梦中的大脸 on Sina Weibo. Personal rambles are under #jake talks if you want to blacklist those. Pillowfort

[jingle-knight]

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

[kimiko24]

I fucking love this video

[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[justatiredlittlesnail]

[redead-red]

watching a movie at home circa like, 2001 was like

put your TV on channel 2 so the VCR will work

open up the clamp shell case that held the VHS that has that satisfying crrlikkkkkk

put in the movie

gdi it has to be rewound

press STOP and then rewind because its so much faster that way

start the movie and it takes a few seconds for the movie to actually start cause you rewound to the VERY beginning

FBI will get you if you illegally distribute or exhibit this movie

and then. because you forgot that movies are always so much louder than TV

COMING SOON TO OWN ON VIDEO AND DVD

QUICK LOWER THE VOLUME LOWER THE VOLUME LOWER THE VOLUME OH FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay crisis averted.

although. these ads are kind of quiet. a little hard to hear.....

better turn up the volume...

THX

[radioactive-yuri]

shirt that says "i got my bottom surgery done at geneco" and on the back it says "and if i don't pay up, the repo man will steal my fucking genitals"

[twiggy-boy]

"what is this BABY doing in space!???"

-Rocky, probably

[hustlerose]

[hustlerose]

[hustlerose]

i have been informed by literally every french speaker on earth that “une pipe” is slang for blowjob

[aroace-polyshow]

honestly i never thought the phrase “i want that twink obliterated” was like a sexual thing. like when i read the phrase i imagine “a meteor like the one that killed the dinosaurs is summoned from the heavens and hits the twink in question” type situation

[blanketfortarchitect]

I always pictured something like this

[heirtocragflame]

A bee girl would probably say “in my bumble opinion”

[knifefightscene]

[lavenderprose]

I think it would have been so fun and enriching for both Shane and Rose to have a little more time with Shane's situationship before the Hollanov Soft Launch. Neither of them ever went to college. They barely went to high school. They've been locked in on their respective high-intensity low-privacy careers since they were fifteen. Shane has been fucking with a fuckboi for seven years without ANYONE to talk to about it. Rose is just as starved for genuine human connection as Shane is.

They should have been given time to sit on Shane's couch while Rose plays Twenty Questions trying to get to the bottom of who Shane is fucking.

Shane should have told Rose about the Tampa hotel room and Rose should have hit him with a pillow and said, "NO. The fuck boy does NOT have a heart of gold, Shane Hollander."

Shane should have had the opportunity to text Rose, "I'm making a bad choice," and then two hours later, "Fuck I am DONE I am NEVER doing this again" because Ilya got up to shower too quickly and Shane hurt his own feelings about it.

There should be a series of texts in Rose and Shane's history that just say, "Relapsed," all of them sent at three in the morning accompanied by a selfie of Shane in Ilya's fuckass navy blue sheets. Rose's habitual response is Not a relapse if you never stopped 😐

They should have met up after Shane was up all night getting just absolutely railed into the mattress and Rose should have reached across the table to lift up Shane's hangover sunglasses and said, "That dick better be unbelievable," and Shane should have miserably said, "It is."

Shane should have gone incommunicado for four days after telling Rose that he was going to spend a long weekend in Boston and finally when Rose texts him a screen shot of an LAX -> BOS flight list and the words, "Proof of life or else." Shane just responds with a picture of Ilya's back turned and his hair a mess as he rummages in a cabinet for coffee beans. Rose responds, Whore. And then, two minutes later, Tell the fuck boy I said hi.

[fic-dumpster]

[neeska3]

Wangxian on my mind today have my MDZS character lineup (again)

[thetrekkiehasthephonebox]

problem with finishing a fic is immediately wanting to start a new one

[inber]

Writing period dramas in the discord, lads

[elodieunderglass]

@inber you have tapped a deep vein here

[alexaloraetheris]

Made it all the way to the end straight-faced and then I read 'By Jane Austen' and lost it.

[bunjywunjy]

Can you show me some animals that look like that one jpg of snl with the "teenager who just woke up" look?

this guy?

sure!

the world is vast and wonderful

[dracofidus-deactivated20200523]

If you EVER think Anthony Head is anything less than an angel then you’d best remember that I have always been a huge fan of his and we’ve always had a little contact over the years and he heard I’d come out as Trans and was having a hard time and that I was kind of sad that the photos I had from conventions with him were of me with long hair and no binder and they were all signed to “Sarah” and so he invited me to spend the day with him at his farm and he picked me up from the station and we just hung out and had lunch and he insisted on paying and took loads of photos and had them printed on photo paper the same day so he could sign them to Jay, along with other photos of him as Giles and Uther and he literally spent five hours chatting with me and got all of the pronoun stuff right every time and then he dropped me off at the station, gave me a final massive hug, waved me through the ticket barrier and insisted I message him when I got home so he knew I got back safe. (More HERE)

[neverwhere]

i’m not crying it’s just raining on my face