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- Andrea Gibson

“An Open Letter to the First Boy to Ever Break My Heart”

I saw you at Walmart earlier today, it was funny because at first I didn’t even realize it was you. I spotted you because I noticed the familiar brim of a binder and thought to myself about how you don’t realize how many of “us” there are out there until you’ve totally infiltrated “them”. It was only after you turned your head to the left that I knew exactly who you were. I saw your eyes first, big and brown, deeper than my favorite bottle of bourbon- exactly how I remembered. Today is Wednesday, maybe you don’t remember, but you read poetry to me from an Andrea Gibson book in your dorm on a Wednesday during your spring semester of your freshman year at Cornell. You were topless and I envied you while I laid beside you, still binding, intimidated and totally in awe. I was 17 that year, new and nervous, I was desperately seeking someone to love me enough that I didn’t have to anymore. Do you remember lending me a book that day? How you offered me two suggestions and when we couldn’t decide you told me to pick a number? I chose the number four and you handed me your favorite copy of “Will Grayson, Will Grayson.” I held on to that book for more than a month, but it only took me two days to read; I wasn’t good at letting go, I’m still not. The day you ran away from the same town you begged for refuge you came to my mothers house and asked for it back, but I didn’t ask for my heart. That wasn’t the first time you broke my heart, and it wasn’t the last. But standing there today, 5 years later, my heart ached in that familiar place. I wanted to stop you and ask how you were. I wanted to ask about your sister, the last book you read, if you’re doing well, are you healthy? I wanted to tell you about my life, show you that I have something to be proud of- and then I wanted to key your car. Today, I realized that I no longer know what your Wednesday routine is, I don’t know when your last class of the day lets out or what dining hall you like to grab dinner from, I don’t know anything anymore. Today, I didn’t stop you. Today, I didn’t say hello. Today, I didn’t let you into my small life. Today, I was able to let go just a little bit more. So thank you for letting me let go today, I don’t know if you saw me or if you cared but thank you.

sabacc

Steve Rogers did, in fact, realize that something was off when he saw the outline of the woman’s odd bra (a push-up bra, he would later learn), but being an officer and a gentleman, he said that it was the game that gave the future away.

ignisgayentia

#EXCUSE ME MA’AM BUT YOUR TITTIES ARE NOT CONES I’M CALLING BULLSHIT (via)

lohelim

No, see, this scene is just amazing. The costume department deserves so many kudos for this, it’s unreal, especially given the fact that they pulled off Peggy pretty much flawlessly.

1) Her hair is completely wrong for the 40’s. No professional/working woman would have her hair loose like that. Since they’re trying to pass this off as a military hospital, Steve would know that she would at least have her hair carefully pulled back, if maybe not in the elaborate coiffures that would have been popular.

2) Her tie? Too wide, too long. That’s a man’s tie, not a woman’s. They did, however, get the knot correct as far as I can see - that looks like a Windsor.

3) That. Bra. There is so much clashing between that bra and what Steve would expect (remember, he worked with a bunch of women for a long time) that it has to be intentional. She’s wearing a foam cup, which would have been unheard of back then. It’s also an exceptionally old or ill-fitting bra - why else can you see the tops of the cups? No woman would have been caught dead with misbehaving lingerie like that back then, and the soft satin cups of 40’s lingerie made it nearly impossible anyway. Her breasts are also sitting at a much lower angle than would be acceptable in the 40’s.

Look at his eyes. He knows by the time he gets to her hair that something is very, very wrong.

2spoopy5you

so what you are saying is S.H.E.I.L.D. has a super shitty costume division….

kk-maker

Nope, Nick Fury totally did this on purpose.

There’s no knowing what kind of condition Steve’s in, or what kind of person he really is, after decades of nostalgia blur the reality and the long years in the ice (after a plane crash and a shitload of radiation) do their work. (Pre-crash Steve is in lots of files, I’m sure. Nick Fury does not trust files.) So Fury instructs his people to build a stage, and makes sure that the right people put up some of the wrong cues.

Maybe the real Steve’s a dick, or just an above-average jock; maybe he had a knack for hanging out with real talent. Maybe he hit his head too hard on the landing and he’s not gonna be Captain anymore. On the flipside, if he really is smart, then putting him in a standard, modern hospital room and telling him the truth is going to have him clamming up and refusing to believe a goddamn thing he hears for a really long time.

The real question here is, how long it does it take for the man, the myth, the legend to notice? What does he do about it? How long does he wait to get his bearings, confirm his suspicions, and gather information before attempting busting out?

Turns out the answer’s about forty-five seconds.

marguerite26

Sometimes clever posts die a quiet death in the abyss of the unreblogged. Some clever posts get attention, get comments, get better. Then there’s this one which I’ve watched evolve into a thing of brilliance.

petite-madame

Afternoon with Buck - (2021)

Inspired by the artwork by Haddon Sundblom done for the story The Unpossessed, 1947. I’ll post maybe one more drawing in the next two weeks then I’ll vanish during a couple of months to work on a calendar inspired by The Order of The Avengers (here and here).

jdramione

When inspiration hits.

buckymilf

this is correct and i don't take any criticism.

jdramione

Smirk. Because, basically.

silentwalrus1

Elevator Fight Scene | Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) Movie info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1843866/ Buy it on Blu-ray: https://www.amazon.com/...

i just rewatched this clip and honestly my characterization of steve rogers is…not…..hardcore….enough. this guy is. just. like. an honest to god assault aircraft comes at him with a machine gun and he speeds up at it. like oh yes i hope youve got a can opener because this two thousand gallon drum of whoopass is coming most directly your way. and honestly? it tracks. it tracks! in catfa he’s shown leaping onto flying hydra aircraft and just ripping the pilots out like whupty doo son this flight is now an american express!! bye bitch!! yeet!!! one pansy ass quinjet? to stop steve steel balls rogers? steven grant six foot twenty fucking invented cocaine motherfucking rogers? you have got to be out of your god damned mind

silentwalrus1

listen. as funny and quality as it is to have bucky be the sheepdog to steve’s rabid ram i FULLY believe that bucky barnes is on this ride because he likes the goddamn horsepower. james buchanan is here because he wants to watch his feral twink take on god and when he becomes a 300lb war ballerina barnes wants to watch him plow the devil. in costume. are ya keeping the outfit steve?? are ya?? bucky knows better than anybody how mcfreakin tough steve is and he’s not ride or die despite the fact that steve is a human chainsaw, he’s there because of it

silentwalrus1

STRIKE team: give it up, Rogers! You’ve got nowhere to go!

Steve:

girlbookwrm

Chad Speaks Only Truths.

i’m adding this Very Important thread to my Steve Rogers Characterization Tag, with some notes to self:

Constant Reminder: however you write Steve Big Bitch Rogers you are not writing him hardcore enough. You Are Not Writing Him Intense Enough.

and it’s not just his fighting style

it’s not just his violence that’s hardcore

It’s his friendship and his leadership and his ideals.

after one (1) unsuccessful(?) jogging-based seduction attempt Steve is RIDE OR DIE for Samuel Thomas Wilson

“if it was the other way around, and it was down to me” (Natasha Romanoff, Known Murderer and Professional Double Agent) “to save your life, and you be honest with me” (because, and let’s not forget this, twenty four hours ago i lied to you personally) “would you trust me to do it?”

“I would now.”

And that’s like

That’s it.

After one (1) bubble yum flavored shouting match, and one (1) Super Awkward Friend Kiss and one (1) roadtrip into the past steve just

TRUSTS HER UNCONDITIONALLY

“this isn’t freedom this is fear”

and i am personally willing to fight you and every other motherfucker in the US government about this

don’t even get me started on Steve “I Will Go To War With 117 Nations and Also 50% of My Coworkers For You” Rogers

In Sum:

Steven Steel Balls Rogers has never halfassed anything in his got dam life and he is not about to start now.

He never halfassed things when his ass was halfsized and now he’s 300lbs of WHOLE ASS NONSENSE.

annebaneriddle

OP is totaly right as they should say it. No matter how hardcore you’re writting Steve, it will never be hardcore enough. That man is 220lbr of pure “Fuck the limits. I’m in”. He is not willing to let no asshole that thinks they know better just because they are from the UN do bullshit on his watch, because Sarah goddamn Rogers raised no coward bitch.

Steve is willing to fight 117 nations for what he knows be the right thing and bold of anyone to assume he will ever startle when the idiots come after him.

Also, OP is right to say Bucky is there because of it. Bold of anyone to assume Bucky “Are you keeping the outfit?” Barnes treats Steve like a baby. Of course he would be worried, because they are really close, but dude, Bucky made Steve ride the Cyclone when Steve was just 90lbr of rage. Do you really think he would baby Steve? If anything he would be right behind him looking Steve woop asses like:

everywhichship

There once was a girl with gold-spun hair, who talked and laughed and sang without care.

There once was a girl with gold-spun hair, Who talked and laughed and sang without care. She loved large and she grinned and she gave, In the end, her heart she could not save. They took from her, piece by fucking piece, Until she begged and screamed it to cease. And now she sits alone in her room, Quiet, quiet, no sound, not a boom. She wasn’t always lonely, you see, But she got hurt and was forced to flee. Away from all that she held so dear, Alone and silent, her greatest fear. Not smart or worth, she wasn’t enough, Instead of sad, it just made her rough. Her walls were thick, but her eyes downcast, She locked her true self and shoved it past. She used to have friends, the thought hurts her, To have and then not, her fault incur. Or was it them, the cruelty of, Gaining ones trust to falsify love. If she allows herself to open, To try again, to not be broken. The pain is great, too scary, too real, To lose herself has lost all appeal. Heart aches, her sadness etched across glass, The hurt her chest e’er present, alas. The silence that surrounds her injures, And speaking her thoughts aloud hinders. Has nothing, is nothing, to no one. Not a smile, not a light, only shun. Bare shell of what was, no one to care, Where did she go, she can’t breathe in air. In her bedroom she sits in shadow, Where no one can see her skin sallow. What became of her, where did she go, When did the blow of life force her low? No one talks to her, or gives her thought, They don’t see who she was, or care naught. Worst part of all, is that she still tries, Reaches out, her arm outstretched and cries. Not a lifeboat in sight, nor a hand, Sinks in the dark, she can’t understand. What of love made so undeserving, She's tired and weary and hurting. No one to talk to, only stories, fiction, where characters understand. The unreal is keeping her alive, Warm falsities that help her survive. She isn’t sure why things are this way, Another day gone without a say. Peter Pan had it wrong, when ventured, To die would be a big adventure. Perhaps to die, would be a release, Turning disappointment into peace. There once was a girl with gold-spun hair, Who talked and laughed and sang without care. -jdramione

#poem #mood #poetry #write #Author #writer #write something every day #hurting #therapy #writing therapy #journaling #prose #prose poem #poetry and quotes #original

marisatomay

author: sorry I’m jumping on this bandwagon and writing a fic with the same premise as all these other fics

me, has read 500 fics like this one and is prepared to read 500 more: please never apologize for giving the people (me) what they (also me) want

kyraneko

WELL I WOULD READ FIVE HUNDRED FICS

AND I WOULD READ FIVE HUNDRED MORE

JUST TO READ ONE THOUSAND FICS WITH THE SAME

PREMISE AS THE ONES BEFORE

DADA DADA (DADA DADA)

DADADUNdedeledeDUNdedeledeDUN

mariana-oconnor

When I’m reading, well, you know I’m gonna be

I’m gonna be the one who’s reading your AU.

And when I’m finished, well, you know I’m gonna find

I’m gonna find another fic like that one too.

If you write soulmates, well, you know I’m gonna read

I’m gonna read that soulmate fic, that’s what I’ll do.

Then I’ll go back, I’ll go back to AO3

And I will search for soulmate fic the whole night through.

mojoflower

And when I’m finished, well, you know I’m gonna find

I’m gonna find another fic like that one too.

My 3rd Story Rec: Maybe Life is One Big Marathon... series by @MarvelLitChick https://archiveofourown.org/series/409054

So far this series is made up of eleven parts, and thankfully it is not complete. I am obsessed with this series and it’s brilliance and feel it definitely has not been highlighted on enough based on the current amount of kudos and comments it has received. This series is BRILLIANT and deserves ALL the recognition. I remember the first time I came across this story. I think I came across the 2nd fic first, and then went back and started the series from the beginning. I was SHOOK. Absolutely gobsmacked and obsessed from the get go. The characterization, the plot lines, the story itself - it’s GOLD. It’s amazing. The dialogue is EVERYTHING, the feels of this fic give you EVERYTHING. Ups and downs and laughing and crying - it’s all there and more. The first fic of the series is called The BackUp, https://archiveofourown.org/works/6007729/chapters/13795762, and it centers around Steve and Natasha’s relationship. They are married in this fic, and its something you don’t see very often. And it’s SEXY. And Steve is HOT in a way that is different from other stories, because he’s been sort of forced into a stakeout when he had romantic date and tickets planned for him and his wife... His frustration and the amount of back and forth between him and Natasha are incredible. I think what I like most about this story, is that the rest of the series centers around Bucky and Darcy, with Natasha and Steve already being a set-up married thing. And so to get this glimpse at the beginning of the two of them and their relationship really gives some foundational space for the rest of the series to go from. It’s just a beautiful beginning that is a wonderful precursor to what is to come, without having a ton to do with the majority of the future fic. I love this glimpse into their marriage and the way they interact and flirt with each other. It’s nice to see this glimmer especially after reading the series and getting deep into the Bucky/Darcy storyline - to know how these two characters fit in with Bucky and Darcy both individually and then together... it’s brilliantly pieced together. The second fic of the series is called Date Night Dash, https://archiveofourown.org/works/6046939/chapters/13864342, and to me it really sets up the tone of the entire series. Bucky and Darcy go on a date and EVERYTHING that could go wrong, goes wrong. Amidst all of the chaos, there are some really sweet, heartfelt moments, some incredibly angsty moments, a spot of vulnerability from both characters, and some sexy times to be found. You get a real feel of Darcy’s characterization and how she interacts with Bucky. It’s easy to see how they fit together so easily and well. They just play off each other and bring out the best in each other. Bucky’s protectiveness of Darcy is sigh-worthy, and Darcy holds her own to the best of a non-super-soldier human girl can. I just really love both of them individually in this story, and I think this story is an amazing fic all in itself. With that said, I am so very glad that it’s only one part of a greater whole. Overall, I laugh and cry through this fun-filled, angsty fic, and HIGHLY recommend it. The third fic of the series is called Steeplechase: Running the Gamut, https://archiveofourown.org/works/6165437/chapters/14126321, and this fic alone might be one of my favorite stories ever, in all of the fanfiction I’ve ever read. OMG - it’s just so good. It’s MORE. It has EVERYTHING. The characterization, the angst, the absolute FUCKING FEELS all over the place, in places where I feel I might actually die of heartbreak and sadness, and then the hurt/comfort aspects are just so damn good. Out of this world amazing. The plot is brilliant - absolutely incredible - and keeps you on your toes, anxious for the next paragraph, for what happens next, oh please keep going, oh my God, it’s so damn good. TONY in this story is an unexpected delight. A father figure, parental and comforting - I didn’t know how much I needed THIS TONY in a story until I read this one. Steve has a scene in one of the chapters where he says something so... warm and comforting and it hurts SO MUCH to Darcy - the author does such an amazing job of portraying these comforting things that people say and do in a time when no one is ready to really face them, and it’s hard, so hard to feel those feelings that time and again I find myself actually looking away from the page to tamper down on my emotions. If I say too much, it gives the plot away and I absolutely refuse. GO read this story. GO RIGHT NOW. If you haven’t, you are just missing out on something really amazing. This story guts me and pieces me back together over and over again. And it’s gorgeous. There are a few notable moments for me. The vodka in the kitchen floor. Tony’s “go now.” Steve sitting on the couch with Darcy. The scene to the Avengers compound between Darcy and Bucky with Tony driving. Steve sitting by Bucky in the hallway. PEPPER holding Bucky’s hand. We aren’t standing on solid ground. The GUN. The RING. And so much more. So many things. Who has read this fic? LETS TALK! The 4th fic is called Pawing at the Ground, https://archiveofourown.org/works/6960016, and it is just ALL the warm and fuzzies. It introduces a pretty big plot point in the next few stories in the series, it has some amazingly vulnerable and romantic moments, and anytime Bucky’s ears go a bit pink I am ALL IN for it. The 5th fic is called Memoria in Aeterna, https://archiveofourown.org/works/7031077, and it’s quiet. A somber piece that doesn’t feel so until it is so. For Steve and Bucky, a quiet day of tradition. I really actually adore this piece, even if it ends like the final note of a sad song. Longing and loss, and yet soft embrace. The 6th fic is called Leaving on a Jet Plane, https://archiveofourown.org/works/7392730/chapters/16791952, and it is HUGE. A HUGE story with so many things. It begins feeling very precarious and fragile. There is something hovering at the edge, too blurry to see. The honeymoon is here, but things aren’t happily ever after and bliss. Bucky and Darcy are good, the two of them. But there all of these things that are against them that they are warring together. And also, individually, they are being attacked by all sides. Darcy with her body, and then a kidnapping, and panic attacks and pain, and delusions - or are they really delusions? The sex is GREAT, the ocean is beautiful, but there is something simmering beneath, waiting, waiting... you feel that in the pacing. The author does a spectacular job of the building up of something that might happen. The waiting is the worst. Darcy’s dad is an asshole. The serum just knocks Darcy flat. The shit hits the fan. Ride it out, just let it have it’s way. KILLS ME DEAD. I love the concept that Steve and Bucky have an easier time talking about their feelings because things were just different in a different time. I want to take that and RUN with it. One of my most favorite lines from the entire series: “His arm came around her, softly, around her middle and his palm settled—deliberately, she knew—over her scarred belly. “Hey. Don’t shut me out now, not when you’re at your most vulnerable. This is when we’re at our best. This is when you need me the most.” The kidnapping. JANE PISSES ME OFF. Natasha’s moment of “Come Out and Play, Winter Soldier,” is awesome. God. Bless. Natasha. Romonoff. (I can take this sentence too and RUN WITH IT.) This story gives me so much life. Did I mention I adore Natasha in this story? The Nat/Bucky needs a story all on its own. Bucky taking care of Darcy is sigh-worthy. Flip Flips! “You want me to stay or you want me to keep my hands to myself right now?” -- The way he UNDERSTANDS her leaves me breathless. “You aren’t ready to talk about it if you are asking that question.” SIGH. The car, the woods, the cattle prod. OBSESSED with the end scene of that scene. “I’m here, Darcy. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” “Don’t leave me.” BEST. ALL THE FEELS and ALL THE ANGST and there is NEVER ENOUGH OF IT. This writer is amazing. I want to write something with her. Bucky being intense is HOT. Did I mention Jane pisses me off? Cause she does. Also I love Tony SO MUCH. Aladdin lines - I laugh EVERY TIME. I am not sure why Bucky pressing Darcy into the car is such a HOT SCENE for me, but I love him so much in this scene. Wheel of Fortune breaks my heart. They way Bucky views Steve in this fic absolutely breaks my heart at times. “He was delicious when he was rough.” Best word usage EVER. I actually love that Bucky is protective over Natasha. Makes me wonder if it was from their shared past, or the fact that she’s Steve’s girl and he feels protective because of that. Even with his hangups with Steve currently, Steve is still family. Or maybe he still views Steve as family. I don’t know. But I love Bucky with Natasha in the hotel scene and the car. “I’m still with ya till the end of the line.” I NEEDED this moment. So badly. I kind of adore that he doesn’t eat when she doesn’t. It’s all the very small, but so romantic things like that that make me gooey. Every time I read this I forget about the Bucky and Tony scene. And I fall in love with it all over again. Have I mentioned I love Tony? And I love Bucky. And Darcy. And Steve and Natasha. SO MUCH LOVE for these characters in this universe. AND THEN Chapter 20 happens and my heart falls out of my body. This chapter hurts. Everything hurts. Darcy, and then Tony, and then Bucky, and then Steve and he doesn’t even realize he’s crying, and then Tony and then Darcy - and OMG. THIS CHAPTER KILLS MY HEART. Max! Strange! Yeah - this one is one of my all-time favorites, ever, in fanfiction. HIGHLY recommend! The 7th fic is called Family Dynamics: An Avengers Family Thanksgiving, https://archiveofourown.org/works/12815700 and it compares Darcy’s shitty family to the Avengers amazing one. The 8th fic is called All I want for Christmas, https://archiveofourown.org/works/13144164, and Darcy becomes a visible Avenger. Not on purpose. Steve’s “we were not a couple,” makes me grin like a total loon every time I read that line. Darcy has an awful, no good, very bad day, and Bucky comes home. She cries. I cry. “My chest is up here.” I love him. I don’t forgive Jane yet and I know I probably should. I love how Bucky’s “you lemme in” echoes Steve in Steeplechase. Maria can get FUCKED. Hate her guts in this fic. The way Bucky handles panic attacks is my most favorite thing in the whole world. The 9th fic is called Throw Away the Oars, https://archiveofourown.org/works/13792731, and this is a Natasha centric fic again! Steve IS a specimen. I adore non-naughty yoga. A sneak peak at some of my favorite dialogue: “I know what this is about,” Bucky suddenly spoke up, his voice surprisingly gentle. Natasha was continually blown away by the juxtaposition of Bucky Barnes. War Hero. Soulless Assassin. Soldier. Killer. Sharp Tactical Fighter. Gentle Lover. Battle-Hardened Ghost.Intuitive Friend. She found the courage to look up into his handsome face. “What?”Very obviously giving her a reprieve from making eye contact, he turned to the stove, flipped a switch and retrieved the kettle. “We’re not that different, you and I. We share enough life experiences so that I have a window into your head.”She narrowed her eyes at his back. “Oh, do you, Barnes?” “You’re afraid of Stevie.” The way that Bucky reads Natalia AND Steve so well is awesome. I love Bucky SO MUCH in this fic. (Jaime, the Winter Soldier, Bucky). All of him, he’s so... patient. OMG, I need him in my life. Probably why I love reading about him so much. He’s manly at ALL the right moments and gentle at all the right moments. The perfect balance of a man and I am ALL IN FOR IT. Steve is reading Harry Potter!! I love Steve. I adore Natasha’s Valentine’s Day present for Steve. The 10th fic is called The Sniper and the Scavenger Hunt, https://archiveofourown.org/works/14426820, and it is just a sweet, fun, lovely fic. The 11th fic is called Even Avengers Get the Creeps, https://archiveofourown.org/works/16482218, and Tony is a dick. It’s actually a legitimately scary fic, and it ends on awkward note and I NEED ANOTHER STORY after this to give me back my warm and fuzzies OR angst. Either one is acceptable - but not this awkward feeling!! Tony needs to apologize BIG TIME in a new fic. I hope I can get in touch with the author on this one, and beg her to let me help. LOL! Anymore - I HIGHLY recommend this series if you haven’t had a chance to read it. It hasn’t been shared much, and few people have come across it I feel. It is EXCELLENT and the author deserves ALL THE RECOGNITION.

It’s just MORE. More than other stories. More than maybe even itself.

It’s one of those stories that I have to have repeated inner debates on whether or not to search out a new fic or just enjoy immersing myself yet again into this visceral and lush world, where everything just fits, like the perfect puzzle piece. It all is described in such detail, you can practically taste the air, and the characters feel foundational in a way most stories lack because they can’t see them so wholeheartedly, in both their strengths as well as their weaknesses.

To me, this is a core fic. If you want a story that completely fleshes out ALL the characters, plot, and storyline - this is the one for you. It’s angsty, so much so that one physically aches for these characters, but in that angst, it’s so gorgeously done that despite how much it hurts, you need more.

What inspires me to write? Stories like this one, where I can live and breathe these characters in a world that was created exactly and perfectly for them.

If you have read it - let me know I’m not alone in my obsession. If you haven’t, go READ this and then get back to me. I need to fan-girl a bit on some of these authors, and need some friends who are along with me for the ride. At some point, I’ll figure out how to archive my story recs together. But for now, I want to endeavor to give each of my favorite stories a moment in the spotlight.

possibleplatypus

Holy fuck no so true the only time bucky ever shows an ounce of displeasure with steve is at the gayest bar scene known to history . Also nothing will ever haunt me than getting out of the eg showing at 2 AM and having bucky half turn self deprecating smile to himself that screams “what did you expect , buck” after steve disappears on the platform like seared into my brain for eternity. You can tell the last ounce of hope he held onto vanishing. Like that whole scene he has hardly two lines but his fucking eyes tells a whole different story.

I will never forgive Endgame Steve and Marvel/Disney for putting that look on Bucky's face. Props to Sebastian Stan, he knew Bucky wouldn't have been happy about Steve going back in time for good. And he acted the shit out of this in the, what, 40 minutes he had to process that Steve and Bucky were going to be separated forever?

In the interview, Sebastian also confirmed ‘a conversation’ had occurred between the two brothers in arms prior to Captain America’s unexpected return to the past - hence their heartfelt goodbye in the film.

He said: ‘When I found out that we were doing that scene, which was probably about 40 minutes before it was filmed, I said “Look, don’t you think if this is really happening wouldn’t there be something more to be said?”

‘But then you know the producers were like “You guys have had that conversation, you’ve had that moment, you know what is going to happen and what Steve is doing”.

‘In the last interaction there is a lot of subtext which is like “Alright, here we are, you know, I’ll see you when I see you”.’

Like, the producers cared so little about Steve and Bucky's relationship-- the relationship that forged Steve into Captain America and carried these two characters through three movies-- that they didn't tell Bucky's actor that he would be separated from his best friend forever until forty minutes before filming. This was for Endgame, what was supposedly the capstone (pun unintended) movie for the MCU, their pièce de résistance.

Sebastian Stan had 40 minutes to devise Bucky's expression to show his feelings about Steve's departure, that he only showed once Steve had already left for his happily ever after.

He had to point out that Steve and Bucky would have had a bigger conversation, only to be told that they already had it.

The disrespect that Marvel/Disney have for not only the actors, but the characters and their story, is breathtaking.

But anyway, yes-- Bucky was not happy about Steve going back in time, even if they discussed it prior to Steve leaving.

Look at this look he gives Steve before Steve says “Don’t do anything stupid before I get back.” He’s not asking Steve to stay in words, but his eyes say it all. Stay with me, don’t go.

It does look like Bucky's resigned before Steve leaves but is trying his best, as always, to be happy for him.

After Steve leaves, though. He looks heartbroken but he's trying to keep it together. He looks like he's about to cry. He even nods a little, like this is what he expected would happen but hoped wouldn’t. Steve left and didn’t come back. “I don’t think I’m worth all this, Steve,” he’d said in Civil War, and this just confirms it.

And when Steve comes back an old man... He doesn't go up to talk to him. He tells Sam to go ahead. What is there to say? Thanks for giving us the shield? Did you have a good life? Did you save me in another universe and spend your life with a version of me that wasn't tainted by Hydra, or did you sit at home and do nothing while your wife's coworkers tortured me for 70 years and forced me to kill people? Or is the reason they didn’t talk just that Marvel/Disney didn’t care about the end of the MCU’s most beautiful (platonic) love story?

I'm not angry at Bucky or Steve. I'm angry at Marvel and Disney for their terrible writing.

jdramione

I am just so glad that someone out there agrees with me. And the fucking truth of this puts me in SUCH A MOOD. I remember leaving Endgame just GUTTED from this. The catastrophe of what Marvel did to Bucky and Steve. It does not mean to say that I didn’t enjoy the movies. But for me, these two characters and their relationship was what FAMILY felt like. For these two men, out of time, with no one left... it puts them so uniquely in parallel with one another. This thing shared between them that keeps propelling them towards one another. And Marvel did their damndest to push them away from each other, and I don’t even understand why. “Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky.” And I’ll just leave it there. Because in the end, Bucky is left alone. And the one-sided-ness of the end of this relationship breaks me. And I never bought the whole “they grew apart and lived different lives and friends drift apart BULLSHIT.” They were brothers, they were family. You don’t grow apart when you have a bond and connection that strong. Steve risked EVERYTHING to go and rescue Bucky. Bucky could have gone home after his capture - but he stayed in the war to protect his friend. Couldn’t leave him to fight alone. Ended up dying for that. In so many ways, Bucky DIED for Steve. And when Bucky couldn't remember who he was - STEVE is the one who brought him back, who refused to fight him, who gave him his name back. And then Steve did everything he could to protect Bucky from the government, from Iron Man, from everything - took him and ran away with him. So that Marvel could decide to dump Bucky in Wakanda and tend to some goats and Steve could go on the run for a few years with Natasha? SIGH. SO MANY PLOT HOLES HERE. I get Steve wanting to return to Peggy. I really do. I can get that my Stucky obsession isn’t what Steve Rogers wanted - he was in love with Peggy in canon. I can get this, I can realize this, I can even get on board with this. But just hugging his friend and saying peace out, returning to their time and doing NOTHING to change Bucky’s fate or history... Just sitting by idly while he knew Bucky was being tortured for decades. HOW could he just sit with Peggy in her house and allow this to happen? I just don’t understand. And you will never convince me that Bucky told Steve to do it, to let it happen, to leave him there alone with SAM. NO fucking way would he choose that OVER his friend. He just got himself back. BAH. I have too many feelings about this, and it stresses me out. But ultimately, I was left mostly broken at the end of Endgame. And it ISN’T because I don’t like Sam. I think he’s a cool, nice dude. I don’t have many feelings about who got the shield, because ultimately, I will never get over the fact that Steve just left Bucky behind. On purpose. After all that Bucky did for him. In so many ways, to me, it felt like Steve found new friends in Tony and Natasha, and when they both died, Bucky just wasn’t enough in the future for Steve to bother sticking around for. It hurts. And I will never forgive Marvel for their “these scenes all happened off screen UTTER and COMPLETE BULLSHIT. It’s lazy, shitty excuses for bad writing. Bucky and Steve are so important to the Marvel universe, because they are one of the most characterized relationships of any of the Marvel characters. Their backstory is the strongest. The amount of torture and pain Bucky suffers for following Steve and overcoming it should have been what the third Captain America was about. NOT the Civil War Bullshit that should have been an Avengers movie.

You will never convince me that Steve found Bucky in that shitty apartment and protected him, only to allow him to be put in prison and go - I know you are my friend and are hurting, but you did bad things so you go to jail. I truly believe Steve SHOULD have stopped at nothing to get Bucky out, to get him pardoned, to have him close, to help him recover and take care of him. All I can say is that I am and will forever be grateful for all that is fanfiction, because not only can it provide what should have been, but unlike what Marvel offered us, it can give us all of the what could have been. I love fanfiction writers and am grateful every day that we have the opportunity to read the amazing imaginative works from so many individuals. Works that are brilliant and unique and moving. There are so many underrated, talented, amazing, and brilliant writers out there and I am reaching out over and over by commenting on my favorite fics to try and say - hello. Thank you for creating this work of art. Thank you for the efforts and hard work, these things you’ve created that mean so much to me. Thank you, thank you. There will never be enough time to read what you’ve written, and never enough gratitude that I can send your way for what you’ve given to us.