Recovering after my Thanksgiving Holiday
It has been quite a few months of struggling with Intuitive Eating. Meaning, feeling back to food-obsessed, bloated, sick, full, less purposeful, out-of control, mindlessness, & so on.
It was quite frustrating because I remember how I felt after discovering Intuitive Eating and living that IE lifestyle. It truly does feel like a lifestyle shift - a lifestyle that ends food obsessive thoughts, bloating, overeating, feeling sick from food... and one that sparkles with a sense of calmness at potlucks, a body that feels light and right, a mind consumed with purpose and goals, exercise that feels empowering, etc.
I have never been into dieting. I always felt that don’t work. I came to realize that my body woudl fluctuate between 10 pounds no matter how hard I dieted and exercised because I would be in a cycle of yo-yo dieting. I would stricly eat “whole foods” only or do “reset” diets and lose 5-10-ish pounds for max a week; then I would be right back up 10 pounds, sometimes more, and not to mention ravenous! I figured, why not just chill the fuck out and stick to somewhere inbteween these 10 pounds. Its not worth it.
So, I would do this. But I would stil feel out of control with food and obsessed with food. I am just weird, I just really really like food. This is part of being an adult and your metabolism slowing down. It’s normal?
When I began to learn about intutive eating I didnt know I was learning about intutive eating. I was just listening to some dietician talk about how there’s no good food or bad food. WAHHHT? This makes no sense and she’s just used to working with highly disordered eaters. I am not that. She also told me that its not normal to overeat and be food obsessed. OK, THAT I COULD AGREE WITH.
Wait, if its no normal is there a solution?!?!?
I started researching ways to end my late night sweet binges since it wasnt “normal” according to her.
Through my research I learned girls are on to this type of thing!! There is a cure? The cure isn’t with some diet, brain surgery, or stomach stapling (which, by the way, I thought was ridiclous, no amount of staples could stop this girl from pushing her belly to the point of just before explosion. I ate until i was “thanksgiving full” on the regular. oh god, would I actually pop the staples out of my stomach from overeating?!?! ).
Anyways, I started to undersand how labeling foods as good and bad give power to foods making them even more desirable. How assigning foods a neutral label allows you to tune into and listen to your hunger fullness cues more. How breaking up with diet culture is liberating. How are bodies naturally want to be at their “set point” - I agreed with that! And, how to self-love, self-soothe without food, and the list goes on!!!
Now, as I have said before. This IE journey has been a bumpy rode. In fact, over this recent thanksgving (and, even the months prior) I had experienced my old ways of eating and thinking about food. Worst of all, feeling! Gah!
I even had thoughts of “Gosh, maybe I should go Paleo to just reset myself”. But, I held off. NO. Even if intuitive eating isn’t working for me right now, the later wont either. it will just postpone the inevitable. Give it time, trust, and figure it out again.
Here I am, four days post holiday. I have spent the past two days eating more intutively with the help, I think of consuming a lot of positive, gentle, empowering IE content through an IE course I had purchased.
The skeptical side of me thinks “You are just coming down from a week binger. Of course you feel more “intuitive”, your body will start to feel bingy again soon. I also just started my period - maybe my hormones are finally relaxing for a day or two.
This time, I refuse to believe it. I am back to consuming kick ass empowering content from bad ass women across the web. I am back to feeling purpose again. To looking at my favorite bakery’s muffins IG post and saying “oh, wait, i dont really love those becuase they made me FEEL like shit. esp in the am!”
So, here I am, lets just say 2 days into being a solid Intuitive Eater. Feelin light and free, but honestly, a little skeptical. So, here I am documenting my experience to 1. journal my experience 2. record/document for future reflection 3. share with others.
I hope this will help guide me back to IE when i start to “fall off”.
I cant wait for my next post. Because sometimes certian intutiive eating principles really resonate with you at a certain given time. This one that really reosnated with me was about purpose, and finding mine. Stay tuned as it might help you find yours!!
P.S Please share your thoughts!
