jkirk

she/her, a bit of a human disaster

[aurumacadicus]

AurumAcadicus’s Master List

Previously reioka, now all links are changed to aurumacadicus.

Acting Fishy AU—(Stuckony) Tony learns to navigate a relationship with merman Steve and octo-merman Bucky after being water boarded in Afghanistan. It doesn’t always work out the way he wants, but Steve and Bucky are patient. (TW: Medical, Panic Attacks, Suicidal Ideation, Suicide Attempt (mentioned), Imprisonment)

Alien AU—(Stuckony) Alien Arxni comes to Earth to save the whales. He finds more than he bargained for in super soldiers Steve and Bucky. Luckily Thor is there to keep him from doing anything stupid (because if he wasn’t, Tony would be doing a lot of stupid things while screaming “Science!”). (TW: Permanent Injury (minor character))

Angel AU—(Stuckony) Something is wrong in Heaven, so Tony leaves, knowing Bucky and Steve will take care of it. Steve and Bucky are determined to root out the evil because of it. They just wish that Tony had told them he was pregnant before he Fell. (TW: Panic Attacks, Suicide (mention))

Animal Brides AU—(Stony) Steve, a swan, falls beak over flippers for Tony, a selkie. Steve rescues Tony from his abusive human husband and then goes about trying to court him properly while Tony tries to heal from all of the abuse he’d suffered at his former husband’s hands. (TW: Past Domestic Abuse, Past Emotional Abuse, Self-Esteem Issues)

Anthro AU—(Stuckony) In a world where people have animal ears and tails or wings, wolves Steve and Bucky struggle to understand the feline Tony. They’re pretty sure it’s not just because Tony’s a cat, either. (TW: PTSD (mention), Drug Use (but the drug is catnip))

At Your Service AU—(Stuckony) Tony, a sub, has never been able to go down properly for a Dom. Steve, a Dom, has always had to struggle to take a sub down. They find they’re the perfect match when Steve goes on his knees for Tony. Bucky, a Switch, has to struggle with healing from his brainwashing on top of feeling wrong for wanting what Tony has. (TW: Kidnapping, PTSD, Torture (mention))

Awkward Stepfather AU—(Stony) Steve thinks JARVIS is a human computer at first, and when Tony tries to explain that no, he’d made him, Steve misunderstands and thinks that JARVIS is Tony’s child and assures Tony that he is up to the task of helping raise his children. Tony panics. (Steve’s not wrong about the bots being his kids though.) (TW: None)

BDSM AU—(Poly-Avengers) Mob boss Tony Stark crushes a coup among his people and hires the members of a smaller outfit called the Avengers to come fill the gaps. It just so happens that the Merchant of Death is also the subbiest sub to ever sub. Luckily his new friends and lovers are willing to learn how to give him what he needs. (TW: tba)

Been There, Gun That AU—(Stony) Tony expects Howard to love Steve (more than he loves Tony). To his surprise and delight, Howard hates Steve. Steve has no idea what Tony’s so happy about since Howard is so ready to murder him, but he figures he can deal with running for his life every so often as long as it keeps Tony smiling. (TW: Past Domestic Abuse, Stalking, Assault, Guns)

Bowerbird AU—(WinterIron) Peacock Tony, riddled with anxiety, struggles to cope with the fact that he’s fallen deeply in love with bowerbird Bucky. It hurts, having Bucky ignore him in favor of chasing women, especially when his attempt to impress him flops. Natasha deciding to set him up on dates is somehow worse. (TW: Past Abuse (mention), Drug Use (mention), Alcoholism (mention))

Dolittle AU—(Stuckony) Tony Stark learns to talk to animals and becomes a world-renowned veterinarian. Steve and Bucky become absolutely smitten with him when he rescues, rehabilitates, and provides a wheelchair for a lame puppy on their island. (TW: Assumed Character Death, Homophobia, Past Child Abuse (mention))

Double Octo AU—(Stuckony) Octopuses Steve and Bucky are just minding their own business, doing their octopus thing, when Tony, a seahorse fleeing form a blue shark, bashes into them. And of course they have to escort the seahorse home. And of course they fall head over tentacle for the slow, bony fish. (TW: Blood, Injury)

Dragon AU—(Stuckony in future) Tony is a young dragon whose only contact with humans is the knights who came to murder him and his parents; Sir Rhodes, who saved him; and Natasha, a solitary witch. Steve and Bucky definitely start off on the wrong foot with Tony, but with the help of their friends and lots of patience, they gain back his trust while also showing him that humans aren’t so bad. (TW: PTSD, Past Abuse)

Faerytail AU—(Stuckony) Tony, a rose fairy, is up for some fun with naga-Steve and fae-Bucky, up until he sees Steve’s… unique genitalia. Steve and Bucky wonder if they will ever see Tony again after he flies of, screaming. (Hint: Yes they do.) (TW: Past Kidnapping (mention))

Four Score AU—(StarkSpangledWinterHawk) Omegas Tony and Clint join a gym solely for omegas after being assaulted at their previous gym. The owners, alphas Steve and Bucky, are immediately smitten. Luckily Tony and Clint find them attractive as well—now they just need to navigate the issues that each of them has while also raising their kids. (TW: Sexual Harassment/Assault, Miscarriage, Domestic Violence/Abuse, PPD, Difficult Labor/Birth, PTSD)

Halloween AU—(Stuckony) Steve, a sickly human, realizes he’s not as sick when he spends time around the supernatural. It turns out there are not a lot of places the supernatural can congregate, due to discrimination, so he and his werewolf boyfriend, Bucky, open up a diner. Everything is going great, until a vampire starts hovering outside their doors. (TW: Blood, Assault, Sexual Assault, Attempted Kidnapping)

Jingle Your Bells AU—(Stuckony) Steve inherits the title of Santa Claus from his father, so he and Bucky move to the North Pole. There they meet Tony, the Head Elf In Charge (“I prefer manager.”), who has the work ethic of ten elves. They fall head over heels with him, but have no idea how to make him understand that, because he’s so focused on work that their flirtations and affection go right over his head. (TW: Anxiety, Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Coffee Beans Are Basically Speed)

Metallic Feather AU—(Stuckony) All adults get some sort of metallic feathers on their wings once they reach maturity. All of them except Tony, anyway. But that’s okay! He’s going to present to Bucky anyway. (Except apparently he’s not, because Bucky has started dating Steve.) (TW: Kidnapping (mentioned), Torture (mentioned), 

Monster AU—(Stuckony) When Tony was a baby, the monsters in his closet scared off the demon that had made his mother neglect him. Now that he’s an adult, the monsters take care of him in entirely different ways—but at least now, he can take care of them right back. He just wishes they’d accept his mortality when he does so. (TW: Depression (mentioned), PPD (mentioned), Major injury/Blood, Kidnapping, Spiders, Snakes)

Murder Strut AU—(Stuckony) Steve and Bucky flirt with Tony, but Tony is oblivious to it. Natasha, after watching another invitation for a date fly over Tony’s head, demands he marry her in a fit of pique. Steve and Bucky froth at the mouth with jealousy. Turns out that’s all they needed to get a date with Tony. (TW: Kidnapping (but it’s comedy))

Peaches and Cream AU—(Stuckony) Tony has a secret Tumblr where he posts porn videos, gifs, and photos. Steve and Bucky stumble across it while looking for videos with great asses in them. They probably never would have figured out it was Tony but for the video he posts of a sex toy that the Avengers vetoed themselves only a few hours prior. Now they just have to figure out what to do with this information. (TW: None)

Pencils and Pumps AU—(Stony) Tony moves out of his parents’ home and, in the safety of his own apartment, presents as he’s always wanted to. He wears what he wants and tries out different make-ups and flirts with the comic book artist that sketches him for anatomy practice. Finally, CaptainBrooklyn gives him the courage to go to Pride. (TW: Homophobia, Transphobia, Internalized Homophobia/Transphobia (but he’s unlearning it)

Plushie AU—(WinterIron) Tony crochets little plush dolls of all the Avengers for them to play with. What he doesn’t expect is for Bucky and Natasha to claim certain dolls as theirs and then use the dolls to make competing, cute little videos about their adventures on Instagram. (TW: Mental Illness)

Pokemon AU—(TBD) The gang all start their adventures and pass each other like ships in the night—at least until they’re older and more established in their chosen careers. Then it’s like no time passed at all. (TW: Animal Trapping (mentioned))

Punk AU—(Stuckony) Punks Steve and Bucky are outside of their favorite club on a smoke break when a man wearing what is definitely not club attire comes skittering out the door and bashes into them. When a smarmy asshole comes out and tries to harass him, they decide that the nerdy little guy needs their protection. “It’s like two pitbulls hovering over a kitten,” Natasha says. (TW: Abusive Ex)

Regency AU—(Stuckony) When omega Tony’s parents are assassinated, Obadiah steps in as Regent and declares War on the Rogers. After waging war for ten years, the Rogers army finally wins against the Starks and takes their omega prince as political prisoner. Sarah decides that rather than executing or exiling Tony (which would almost certainly mean death for him anyway), he will marry her alpha son (and son-in-law) and bear an heir for the kingdom. They don’t realize how much of Tony’s trauma they will have to help heal. (TW: Canon Character Death, Emotional Abuse (past), Physical Abuse (past), Sexual Assault, Kidnapping, Gory Death, Major Injury/Amputation, Suicidal Ideation, PPD, Dubious Consent, Major Character Death, Animal Euthanasia (mentioned))

Sound of Music AU—(Stony) Steve Rogers has seven children and no idea what to do with them now that his wife is dead. He sends for a tutor. Fury, who knows that Tony is not happy at the church, sends Tony. Tony struggles to find his footing with seven children who are much too clever and their military father who seems to have forgotten how to parent. (TW: Minor Character Death)

Stark and Vinegar AU—(Stony) After the events of the Civil War, pre-serum Steve is somehow brought to the present. He spends his time protecting Tony from his future, serumed self and everyone who had hurt him while also showing Tony that he loves him and thinks he is the best person ever. (Tony isn’t sure if this is helping or hurting him more in the long run, but he’s taking all the affection he can.) (TW: Blood and Injury)

Supernatural AU—(Stuckony) Tony goes to supernatural bars because Jarvis, the gem-like creature keeping him alive, enjoys being around his kind. It also helps that the supernatural are more willing to sleep with him than the average human, who can sense something about Tony isn’t right. When he goes to one of the more popular supernatural bars, the owners, incubus Steve and werewolf Bucky, are instantly smitten. (TW: Self-Esteem Issues, Anxiety, Canon Deaths, Stalking, Kidnapping, Canon Bombing, Shifted/Human Sex, Dubious Consent)

Tony Makes a Porno—(Tony/Any/Everyone) A series of scenes that Tony makes with his boyfriend/girlfriend/everyone. They are not related to each other and can each be read as a standalone. (TW: Non-Consensual Sex Tape Leakage, Infidelity as a Plot, Professor/Student as a Plot, Violent Foreplay, Consensual Non-Con, Sex Slave as a Plot)

Werewolf AU—(Stuckony) Human Howard marries werewolf Maria, and after several tries (and discovering some of his experiments have made him basically sterile) they manage to have a child. Tony is the light of Howard’s life. Or, alternatively: Howard is the father that Tony should have had. (TW: Bigotry, PTSD, Canon Deaths, Actual Cinnamon Roll Howard Stark)

Wolves and Wings AU—(Stuckony) Wolves Steve and Bucky find an egg. It hatches and the baby bird imprints on Bucky before he can eat it. They take it home to raise it. Then they stumble upon the egg’s actual parent, a maimed bird who had walked for miles to have food for when the egg hatched. They know that they can’t teach the hatchling, Peter, to fly, so they negotiate parenting—Tony can be part of their pack and a co-parent, and they’ll provide for him like they would any of their other injured pack mates. Tony agrees even though it hurts, in more ways than one. (TW: Major Injury, Mention of Rape)

[aurumacadicus]

Okay I fixed the links so hopefully they work. Friendly reminder that this is for desktop, I’m not gonna try and bother with mobile.

[beardedmrbean]

[theman]

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

[tattooedzombigirl]

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

[stickthisbig]

I've started conducting job interviews at work now? It's terrifying but it turns out I'm really good at it? So if interviewing is daunting, here is my advice from the other side of the table. It turned out to be very long, so here's a cut.

When you apply:

Oh my god please spell check your resume, I beg of you.

Gimmicks absolutely will not help you. You will get so much farther with a resume that is neatly formatted and a cover letter that is straight to the point.

Make sure you count all your experience!! Internships and fellowships count as experience!! The computer system will reject you and I'll never see it in the first place!!

After you've gotten the interview:

If you're trying to get a job in a field you've never worked in (as most of the people I interview are), break down your former employment or experience into the skills you used and keep that information at hand. You used to work in food service? You have experience in delivering an experience at a high quality with basically no margin for error, and you work well under pressure. You were a telemarketer? You have experience at following a workflow and deescalating conflict.

We and every other job WILL be asking you about a. conflict management and deescalation (have examples for how you resolve conflict with coworkers, clients, and bosses) b. personal time management (how you stay organized and on schedule) c. what you do when you realize you can't handle a problem by yourself d. your strengths and weaknesses (see below) Just go on and have an answer ready. You will be asked. There will be questions you're not prepared for. Be prepared for these.

Do a little googling about the company/organization. What will become extremely clear to you immediately is whether they're going to care about you caring about the mission. Some businesses don't. Every non-profit and every government agency does. If they seem like they care, you should pretend to care.

Ask all your questions of the person who is scheduling the interview. I don't recommend trying to figure out who will be your boss and contacting them. Everybody's very busy all the time, none of us are hiring specialists, and we're using the HR staff to act as our buffer. You will look like a nuisance, not a go-getter.

Do look at a map and figure out where you're going. It's vastly preferable to call an hour ahead and say you're unsure where to go than call ten minutes late and say you're lost.

When you walk into the office:

I personally don't give a fast fuck if you come empty handed, but some interviewers HATE that, so definitely bring a notebook and a pen. It's no longer necessary to bring paper copies of your resume. If you're going to interview a lot, may I recommend dropping five or ten bucks on a sketchbook at Michaels or similar? It looks polished and also you can actually use it for things. If you need to write notes to help you remember anything from above, it's okay to write them down. Anybody who would ding you for that isn't someone you need to work for.

If you don't know what to wear: black or khaki pants, nice shirt. Preferably a blazer, but that's optional at entry level imho. Lately I'm finding that the men's sections in thrift stores have better selections? If you've got big hips, you can slit the sides of a men's dress shirt up to your waistline and tuck it in. If you have to come in jeans, wear a belt. If you only have a t-shirt, make sure it's clean and tuck it in. You don't have to prove to me you have money to get this job; you just have to prove to me that you are taking this opportunity seriously by presenting yourself neatly, because you will be expected to be dressed neatly at work.

My sibling in Christ beloved child of God, be polite to every fucking person you see. Oh my god I cannot stress to you how polite you need to be. I cannot believe that this is a thing I have to say, but I sure do! If it's close between you and another person, that snippy comment you made on the elevator WILL lose you that job. Ditto for if they walk you around to meet people. Just be THE politest motherfucker.

When you walk into the room:

When you sit down, what you are looking at is one person who is running the interview, twoish people who are related to your job, and sometimes also someone from HR, unless HR does all the interviewing. One of these people wants to be your hype man. If it's my office, it's me, I'm hype man. I want to have a dialogue with you to see how prepared you are and how good of a communicator you are. I want this interview to go fast and seamless. I'm in your corner. Don't play to the guy who's actively staring off into space. Focus on the interviewer who's most focused on you.

NEVER downplay your own experience. Getting a job you're underqualified for is a problem for future you. If you only have internships, or you only have retail, or you only have food service, or you only have work study, fuck it. You walk in there and act like you've been the goddamn president. The question of your qualifications and the question of your experience are separate. Never act like your experience doesn't count because it's in a "lesser" field.

EVERY. TIME. you are asked about your weaknesses, explain how you have used them for growth. Do not wait to be asked, just slap it in there. One of my biggest weaknesses is giving up control, so I've made a conscious effort to involve other people earlier in the process. If you're not fuckin working on your weaknesses, just try to imagine what would be a good idea. Or maybe work on them? I'm not your dad.

What I am looking for is your ability to answer my questions in a complete and concise way. If you can't give me a specific example, I want you to be able to reflect on your previous work and say "When it comes to X, my experience doing Y is relevant in this way." I am asking you for a synthesis. Most of what I need you to do in this position, I know you've never done. If there is something where I specifically need you to have done X as a professional qualification, there is nothing else you could say that would be right, so you have nothing to lose.

Keep some question in your back pocket for when they ask "do you have any questions for us." It is a hundred percent okay for this to be a softball question, but it's also okay to ask something more probing. You can ask how they handle training, town and gown relations, what the possibilities for employee development are, whether they've done any diversity initiatives, if there's a good work-life balance, what the previous person in the position is doing now, what their strategic planning is like, whatever, just something to prove you're engaged. Do not ask about leave, and do not ask a gimmicky question you saw on the internet. If you can't think of anything, just fuckin ask them how they like working there. That's perfectly fine.

This isn't the time to bring up ADA accommodations. The person who can approve that for you is almost certainly not in the room, and you put us in a super weird position. I am saying this as a person who receives ADA accommodations from my employer and did not disclose my disability when I was hired, as is my legal right. Don't bring it up until you think it would actively prevent you from fulfilling a job requirement or accessing the office. In the before times I had a dude once who called me asking if the building was accessible, because he just wasn't going to interview if it wasn't, and I was just like "...that's fair, my man, but you can come on down."

After the interview:

I fully don't care about a thank you note; I'm unlikely to see it anyway. Some people do. You may send one (1) and ONLY ONE thank you note; generally it should just go to the person who scheduled your interview. Do not, and this is so important, do not email again. I know it is the fucking worst how employers get away with ghosting people but my friend you and I cannot change that. (We do send notices to people who get interviews but don't get the job; people who don't get interviews are informed by the computer system.)

It's gonna be okay. I'm not trying to trick you; I want this to go smoothly, and I want you to demonstrate that you understand how you would use what you've already done to do what I need you to do. I don't want this to be awkward any more than you do. Actually, I want this not to be awkward more than you do, because I have to do this several more times.

[killrockstar]

thriftbooks better world books half-price books wonder book pangobooks libgen archive.org ubuweb kanopy (library card required; free) tubi pluto tv

storygraph

abebooks, book depository, and goodreads are all owned my amazon.

[uhhhhmanda]

hoopla Comics, movies, and TV shows. (library card required, free)

LibraryThing is another good, free, Amazon-free reading tracker/book catalog.

[sassybluee]

For US and UK people, Bookshop is a great alternative for physical books. Every purchase supports indie bookstores (check out their about page with more info)!

Since I'm in Canada, I've never used them before but I've heard good things.

[writing-prompt-s]

You’re an ancient Greek man coming home from 4 months of war to find your wife 3 months pregnant. Now you’ve embarked on a solemn quest: to punch Zeus in the face.

[hermdoggydog]

Soon after you begin your quest, you encounter another man in a similar situation. You decide to join forces, as two mortal men stand a better chance at punching Zeus than one. Two villages over, you encounter a woman who had relations with Zeus and was left with a highly aggressive half-boar half-man offspring. She too feels your anger and offers to join your quest. By the time you reach Mount Olympus, you’ve amassed a large and formidable army of cuckolded/ravished mortals, demigods with daddy issues, mythical creatures with scores to settle, and a seamstress who you’re pretty sure is Hera in disguise. Zeus never stood a chance.

[lizluvscupcakes]

What I find best about this scenario is that the original wife probably expected to be murdered for her infidelity at worst or have her relationship with her husband ruined as he grew to resent her baby, at best.

Instead this man looked at his beloved and said, “who did it?”

And she replied “Zeus,” accepting he probably wouldn’t believe her.

And then he sighed, strapped his sandals back on and said, “I’ll be back before the baby is born.”

“Where are you-?”

“The lord of the sky came into my house, molested my wife in my bed and ate my food. I am going to settle the score.”

“Darling, he’ll kill you.”

“He may try, if he would like.”

[theriu]

You’re so right, that IS the best part.

[therealbeachfox]

I’m personally caught up on the seamstress.

“The pathway up Olympus is guarded by dozens of traps and perils strong enough to thwart even the Titans. How are we going to get past all of…” the shepherd boy with golden eagle feathers gestured uselessly at the slopes above them, particularly the herd of eight-legged goats snorting fire.

“There’s a way around,” Yiorgos said, though he was not specifically asked. But he had been the first to begin the march on Olympus, and so felt obligated to take the lead whenever possible, “In the stories there’‘s always a way around whatever obstacles the Gods place in our way.”

He hadn’t meant the words to come out as a question, but they had that lilt to them none-the-less. And even though he hadn’t meant it to be a question, much less a question directed at anyone specific, it was directed at one all the same. Just as the eagle-feathered shepherd boy’s had.

“Way I heard it,” a woman’s voice said. Rough with the Mycenaean Greek equivalent of a backwoods accent, and with the depth of a farmer’s wife who straps cattle to her back to carry to market, “there’s a back path. Hidden behind an invisible door that only one key in the world can open.”  Everyone’s eyes had turned to the broad older woman in heavy shawl sitting amidst supplies in the foremost cart. “Least, that’s what my grand-mammy always told me.” she added after a moment of dozens of eyes on her.

“Oh, we were so foolish!” That was Lydia, a lithe waif of a woman, many months pregnant, sitting opposite the seamstress in the wagon. “Of course there’d be a.. a quest. They’d keep such a key in the depths of Tartarus or in the golden chariot of Apollo, or, or-”

“Or”, the older woman cut her off in a voice both firm, but much gentler than she used on anyone else, “he’s like all husbands and has been promising to move the key someplace better for the past three thousand years but hasn’t gotten around to it.”  She gestured vaguely to the hillside, “Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was under, say, that bush right over there.”

It was. Of course. And everyone in the caravan agreed that it had been a very lucky and wise guess from the nameless woman and for the upteenth time since she first sat herself down in the front wagon and announced she was coming along with no further explanation, each and every last member very purposefully gave no further thought to the matter.

[brainbubblegum]

[anonymoustypewriter]

You know i just reblogged this but im reblogging again to say i keep looking at baby jesus with the lighter and cackling madly because i love this so much

[radioactivepeasant]

this makes me laugh every year

[moonsofavalon]

i’m always too busy losing my shit at baby jesus with the lighter that i never registered “HEY-SUS” oh my goddd

[ltleflrt]

Happy 10 years Hey-Sus.

[slavery]

[macbethz]

Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.

[seananmcguire]

BURN BAGEL BURN

[gothiccharmschool]

OH WHY NOT?

[harukami]

I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.

Bagel what are your powers

[acabosetotal]

FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterday’s night “just for fun and because I don’t want any bagel to be mad with me”, and today’s afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.

THE BAGEL POWERS ARE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD

[token-white-friend]

I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD

[noodle-dragon]

The bagel hasn’t let me down yet!

[tentacles-and-coffee]

Let’s see what you can do bagel

[emositecc]

I need your luck, bagel

[danineedshelp]

….. Bagel?

[sunsetsandsunshine]

Bagel.

[doodlemeariver]

Roasted bagel

[themunflower]

Why the Hell not, Bagel, please help, my package is late.

[jtranageder1]

it’s here so why not see if it’ll do anything

[arorea]

[aurumacadicus]

SUICIDE WARNING: There is no character death but a character does attempt it, and when someone stops him, he proceeds to try to convince them to let him kill himself anyway. I’ve put it under a read more too.

Keep reading

[earliebirb]

theappleppielifestyle stevetony fic archive

Hey everyone! Some of you may know that theappleppielifestyle recently chose to anonymize all of her AO3 fics.

Here is the link to an archive that contains 100+ theappleppielifestyle Marvel fics (mostly SteveTony) that were posted on AO3, compiled by @ishipallthings. Again, most of the fics in the archive are still up on AO3 but anonymized, so the links to those fics still work!

Archive link: https://t.co/Co4dDBE9Y0    

This archive was created with the author’s permission. Thank you to theappleppielifestyle for the beautiful writing and for allowing us to create and share this archive. Thank you to @ishipallthings for compiling all of the fics and creating the archive.

Enjoy!

[tortagnamgnam]

This is the lucky clover cat. reblog this in 30 seconds & he will bring u good luck and fortune.

[unclebabie]

THIS ONE!!! THIS IS THE ONE THAT WORKS!!!!!

I reblogged him the day i started treatment and 1. GOT TO MY APPOINTMENT ON TIME 2. FOUND A FREE PARKING TICKET SOMEONE LEFT IN THE METER FOR ME AND 3. GOT FREE STARBUCKS AFTER MY APPOINTMENT!!!!!

[secondlina]

I’m gonna reblog this because it brought me immense enjoyment to look at.

[popsunner]

So there’s this huge dudebro in my class, who, yesterday, sat next to me. And I’m sitting there sweating because like… I’m wearing my shirt with the lesbian flag on it, and he’s the most popular jock in school, and always has this look on his face that say ‘I can and will kill you’. He looks me up and down, stares at me for a minute and then goes, “So. Girls in skirts and long socks, am I right?”

To which I nodded solemnly, both out of agreement, surprise and also a healthy amount of awkward fear. He nodded and went, “You get it.”

I said, “Yep.” He fistbumped me, and on went our lives.

[popsunner]

Oh! I forgot to mention! I saw him at lunch the same day, and he ran up to me, tapped me on the shoulder, pointed at this super sweet girl who comes to GSA and asked if she’s gay. I told him he should ask her because that’s not my place and he said he would.

I thought that would be the end of it.

Except ten minutes later he came back and told me he found out (she’s bi) and that both of us have a shot. I said “You more than me.” because he’s attractive and popular. 

But this wholesome dumbass looked really confused and asked, “Because I’m tall?’

[popsunner]

So this isn’t lesbian/jock solidarity but I thought you guys would want to know-

My math teacher was trying to fix the rolling whiteboard and he just offhand said “This would be easier with a wrench”

And deadass, dudebro said “Hang on” and then proceeded to pull a fucking wrench out of his backpack

[popsunner]

Update- after school today he saw me in the library and he didn’t say anything? He just pointed at the book he was holding and I gave him a thumbs up because it’s a pretty good book, and he went “Yes!” Really quiet and pumped his fist and then left

[popsunner]

Okay so today he asked me if I know how to help people having a panic attack and I was like yeah? And he smiled at me and then went “cool I think I’m having one”

And I was like what the fuck Colin we’re in the middle of Tech class sit down and we went out in the hall and sat there for a while and he told me about the test he’s stressed about so we kind of went over his study guide and when he was feeling better he kind of like… smacked his head against mine gently? And I helped him up even though he’s almost a foot taller than me and yeah

[popsunner]

Today at lunch we walked to the football field and laid in the grass and I told him thank you for being my friend (because I don’t have that many) and fistbumped me and said, “You always looked so nice and chill, how could I not want to be your friend?”

And honestly y’all, I would’ve started crying if he hadn’t sneezed and accidentally smacked me

[annabanannabeth]

[unpretty]

i love cutthroat kitchen but bingewatching makes it really stand out how often alton brown refers to himself as ‘daddy’ and makes contestants wear spreader bars

[dr-hollands-deactivated20190209]

I’m sorry what

[unpretty]

you heard me

[unpretty]

[elkian]

#I CAN’T BELIEVE I NOW KNOW WHERE TO BUY THE EXACT FETISH GEAR THEY USE ON MY FAVORITE COOKING SHOW

[fiskeorn-deactivated20180416]

@genericrevenge

[son-of-maglor]

OKAY BUT WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY USING SPREADER BARS ON A COOKING SHOW??!??! DOESNT THAT MAKE IT KINDA HARD TO COOK???!?

[unpretty]

kinda, yeah

[renthebarbarian]

@datas-vibrating-robot-dong this seems like your speed

[gregorydickens]

That logo looks familiar.

[unpretty]

WHAT

OH MY GOD

[sylveonce]

[paintmeahero]

We met Alton Brown at a show he did here - we paid the extra cash to meet him and get a blurry cellphone pic with him and have him sign a picture. He noticed my (male) companion’s pocket watch, and proceeded to order him to take it out of his pocket. It wasn’t obnoxious, it was in a Dom tone that brooked no argument. So he complied. When he found out it wasn’t wound, and so not working, he was deeply disappointed, and told him to do better next time. 

If this guy isn’t a Dom, I’ll eat that spreader bar.

[unpretty]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[sapphoscompanion]

The School for Good and Evil bloopers!

“Yeah, gender neutral, bro!” -Sofie Wyle, 2021

(There’s even a clip of when Charlize broke the cane lmao)

[rel312]

God that scene in the last episode was just…

The way Charlie physically closes himself off and Nick sits at his level and gently pulls him back open again

The way Nick literally holds Charlie’s hand through the conversation

The way Charlie allows himself to trust Nick

The way Nick looks so heartbroken that anybody made Charlie feel bad about himself

The way Charlie makes the decision to tell Nick about his SH

The way Nick realizes there’s even more going on than just Charlie’s ED and braces himself to hear it

The way Charlie allows himself to admit his feelings and acknowledge that he doesn’t deserve to feel like that anymore

The way Nick can’t help but hug him

The way Charlie grabs him back and buries his face in Nick’s neck

The way Nick is trying not to cry/be strong for Charlie

The way Nick’s head falls in relief when Charlie said he doesn’t hurt himself anymore

The way Nick won’t allow Charlie to be sorry for this

The way Nick doesn’t put him down or tell him not to do it again, but instead makes Charlie promise to tell him if it gets that bad again

The way Charlie still thinks he’s a burden

The way Nick looks so sad that Charlie would think that of himself

The way Nick gently reassures him that he could never see Charlie as broken or a burden

The way Nick is showing how strong he thinks Charlie is

The way Nick wants to be Charlie’s rock because that’s what Charlie is to him

The way Nick is struggling not to cry

The way Charlie finally accepts that Nick really just wants to help him

The way Nick cradles Charlie’s face

The way it looks like he’s going in for a kiss but is actually going to the forehead for the most tender kiss

The way he immediately goes to rest their foreheads together, just exuding ultimate comfort

The way he goes in for a sweet kiss

The way he’s almost ready to say “I love you” but is interrupted

The way he knows it’s not the right moment

The way Charlie knows anyway

The way Charlie looks like he can’t believe any of this is happening to him, that it’s real, that someone loves him

The long, slow, sweet kiss goodbye

The way neither of them want to leave each other

The way Charlie lingers in the driveway

The way Nick takes a deep breath and lets himself really feel everything once Charlie’s gone

The way Charlie is ready to say “I love you” back

Joe and Kit acted their asses off for this and I’m so so proud of them

[acegalaxies]

growing up thinking something about you is different… but then freedom 💜

[kalak]

Au where luke naberrie is taken hostage by the empire to ensure naboo's loyalty. But it's not like he's tortured or mistreated, he's treated like a guest, he just can't.. leave, that's all.

Vader knows Luke is his son because of that last name, but luke doesn't know. And luke's a lil bit scared of vader at first because Darth Vader, holy kriff, but vader's generally nice to him and gives him gifts so Luke's like... he's not that bad I guess? Vader comes over whenever he has free time and luke's like oh hey lord Vader wanna hear some court gossip

But Vader's been planning to commit treason and dethrone palpatine, just like he did in rots. He doesn't have any intention to rule himself, he's more likely to pledge loyalty to someone he trusts and follow them to hell, like he wanted to do with padme. So vader, knowing that luke is his son, knowing that luke is a good kid - one day just. Kills palpatine and presents his decapitated head to luke. And luke, obviously, is like what the FUCK lord Vader.

While luke did want palpatine dead he's disgusted by the way vader shows his affections. It's like - luke is a normal person who grew up with a normal family, whereas vader's been in a master-slave dynamic for 20 years and also didn't really have good healthy attachments even before then, so the way he acts towards someone he loves is just like a cat bringing back dead birds to their owner. Except in this case, it's bringing back annoying imp's heads to present to luke.

So luke's like ok. Ok. Calm down. Lord vader's a bit crazy in the head but I can use this. But after a few months he realizes that vader will only obey him in a way he wants to, if vader thinks it'll be 'detrimental' to luke's happiness he'll go behind his back. And since vader still firmly believes in the empire and all that stuff, and because his way of love is off, there emerges an irreconcilable gap between them - and eventually luke decides to pack up his followers and leave to the rebellion.

But Vader catches him before he can go! But vader looks so. sad? He looks so sad and broken and tired and is like why are you leaving I thought we were doing so well.

And luke's the one who flips out and goes well if you actually listened to me instead of bringing back heads and spoils of war, I'd maybe listen to you! And vader does the father reveal then, being like as your father I have the responsibility to protect you- and luke's brain just grinds to a halt and is like wait. Wait. Wait. And vader's looking suspiciously like a kicked puppy rn and also he's flashing back to all the times they laughed together and Luke's like ugh FINE you come aboard the escape shuttle too. And they join the rebellion together and Luke teaches him how to be a normal person

[kalak]

Absolutely FANTASTIC that luke doesn't wear ANY armor, even when he is in a situation that he absolutely, most definitely, should. Like I can understand anh because he technically did wear stormtrooper armor and he didn't need armor to pilot an x-wing. What's his excuse for esb and rotj. Literally just drop by an armorshop on your way to cloud city you're probably on your way to fight darth vader and you're really just going in with those gray fatigues huh. Same goes for going to fight jabba are you really going in like that?? And the same fit minus the tabard for getting literally voluntarily arrested in the death star 2. Not to mention him just flying in with a single x wing in the mandalorian.

He'd say some shit like 'I don't vibe with armor I like being able to move fluidly without clunk' 'I can deflect blaster bolts anyway its ok' too, ok moisture boy what about flying debris. What about when you don't have your saber. Him not wearing armor is the funniest thing for me cuz the potential reasons are all so funny. His fashion sense doesn't permit it. He looked at obiwan and Yoda and was like ok I guess jedi just wear robes huh. He geniunely doesn't care for it because he can rip any enemy to shreds. The thought never crossed his mind. Most likely reason is that the rebellion didn't have money for it and then Luke got too committed to the bit when he got enough money

Also the reactions of soldiers working with him being like wait you're going into battle with just a saber? Is. So good. He's a jedi knight and yes, he's going to save you with just a saber and the force.