Le Alpha @jojoalphabetch - Tumblr Blog

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gozdendusmustanri

lumberjackmack

this is the equivalent to cats picking their kids up by their necks

beanerbrujx

My daughter loves to be carried like this and it’s completely safe if the article of clothing fits well, is strong, and the child can support their own head

why-is-it-always-autumn

Imagine being famous celebrity Kamilah al Jamil, dying and going to the afterlife, walking into the office of the Architect(s) of your entire afterlife experience, and seeing a framed photo of your long-dead, way less successful sister in said Architect’s office because she and her rando friends reformed the entire afterlife system and are directly responsible for you and everyone else not being tortured by chainsaw bears forever. How do you even react to that?

the-sighs-of-sunset

Kamilah: *wakes up in the afterlife*

Literally everyone: oh wow, aren’t you Tahani’s sister???

byjove

My ideal date? You release me into the wild to hunt me for sport on your remote island BUT I’m not very good at hiding so you find me within 20 minutes. You hold the gun to my face but there is something so earnest in my eyes and hands that you cannot carry through. You pick me up and carry me back to your mansion. I am so polite and charming that you nurse me back to health. You grow to love and trust me despite the fact you’re holding me hostage after I fell of a charter vessel bound for Brazil. You buy me new clothes and have them shipped to the island. I kiss you good morning every day. You propose marriage. I accept. We skype in a priest and get married with the butler as our witness. That night I kill you and the butler. I redistribute your wealth. I live in the mansion on the abandoned island for the rest of my days. I study snail ecology. I never remarry. You were the love of my life but you were too dangerous and evil to live. I am buried next to you. The tides eventually wash our bodies away. Into the depths of the ocean, together.

byjove

the most dangerous game passed into the public domain this year so I will be producing this movie

midnight-spectrum-again

This took a turn

soothifying-sounds-asmr

baked goods by plain.record

this-is-a-job-for-vesemir

I bet you thought my incorrect quotes posts couldn’t get any more stupid

we-love-gaming

Will u join the challenge?

wereralph

is there a reason for this? like is this part of a strike or something im not aware of?

wereralph

i cannot believe im this fucking stupid

heraldofultimateness

Ralph, pick a number between 1 and 10

wereralph

four of course because it’s my lucky number

heraldofultimateness

Good cause that’s your IQ

wereralph

happy anniversary to the post that ruined my life

awesomacious

Wholesome roommate.

dovewithscales

Hey. For everyone who feels like no one feels this way about you… they probably do. Someone cares.

And if you want my advice, be this for people around you.

probablybadrpgideas

To enter the underworld you must get past Cerberus. He’s not big or scary or dangerous. He’s tiny and adorable and runs up to be your friend. You have to get past without petting him. Good luck!

ruby-white-rabbit

Easy, enter without petting and then never leave for all the puppy time you could ever want. Or just scoop him up.

Scooping is not petting

toxictiktoks

agoodcartoon

centrists should be hunted for sport. a good cartoon.

transxfiles

the world was severely lacking weird little girl memes so i had to fill the void

dollsonmain

See this is why that post “you don’t want to be rich you want to live comfortably” doesn’t do it for me.

I DO want to be rich so when someone says “Oh shit my phone died I’m screwed…” I want to be able to say “Shit, here’s a prepaid visa code or something like that go get a new one.”