Orc Stuff

and general dumbness

[hath-come-the-wicked]

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

Imagine The Fellowship all sitting around the campfire halfway up Caradhras retelling the events of the Hobbit to Boromir and Aragorn Rashomon-style with Gimli going "my dad tells it this way" and Legolas going "well, my dad tells it this way" and the Hobbits all going "but Bilbo tells it this way!" and, even though Gandalf was fucking there for half of it, he refuses to weigh in on anything because watching them argue is more fun and also he doesn't remember because it was over 75 years ago.

[felinecorpse]

Even better: Gandalf remembers it perfectly fine but he keeps making shit up and agreeing to multiple different versions just to throw everyone off

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

Too good to hide in the tags!

[peeboysupreme]

Pick a thing you'd like to be if you could & it was normal

Robot/cyborg

Fucked up monster

Talking animal/furry

Human but a little weird with it (e.g. elf, gnome)

Human but normal

Big dragon or something similar

Other (pls say in the tags)

Voting ended onMar 27, 2023

Feel free to elaborate if you do take the poll, I am interested

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

Theory: Nobody who writes a physics textbook gives any fucks

Evidence:

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

Update: Legolas’ pupils are about 3.5 cm wide each. Now drawing kawaii Legolas on physics assignment.

And they told you science was no fun.

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

Science!

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

I’m going to do it. I’m going to hand it in.

[glumshoe]

Legolas’s pupil size isn’t the problem here, though. 5 leagues is 17.262 miles. The curvature of the Earth means that for a person of average height, the visual horizon is less than three miles away. Even if your vision is telescopic and the atmosphere is perfectly clear, you can’t see around the planet. If they were standing on a hill, it would have to be at LEAST 198 feet above sea level in order to see the horizon at 17.2 miles away, with nothing tall in between. Which, knowing Rohan, isn’t impossible.

But consider: Elven satellite eyeballs.

[gemstone-gynoid]

you mean like

[ontologicalidiot-deactivated201]

@sidereanuncia it’s back, the post that I can only imagine haunts your nightmares 

[sidereanuncia-blog-deactivated2]

I shall never find peace.

Also, for what it’s worth, there’s absolutely no reason to believe that the curvature of Middle Earth is the same as that of Earth.

[sindri42]

There’s no evidence that Middle Earth curves.

[solwardenclyffe]

Yeah there is.  The Silmarillion states that the world was curved after the fall of Numenor (I believe), preventing access to Valinor.  But Elves (among others) can travel the straight path across it.

So middle earth is round, but not for Elves because magic.

[sindri42]

So wait, the reason he can see that far is because Elves just have the ability to ignore the curve of the earth? That’s awesome. It also means that no matter how good your optics got, you would always want elf eyes manning the spyglass because they can see arbitrarily far while everybody else is limited by this ‘horizon’ bullshit.

[lady-byleth]

Oh thank God, my poor elf prince has seen too much in this post

[saccharinesatchel]

Elves are flat-earthers

[cheattoe]

This post went from amusing to horrifying, to be brought back down to amusing, sprinkled in with some cannon explanation, and then you leave me here in fucking outrage

[yourownpetard]

This post really was a rollercoaster.

[odinoco-deactivated20190531]

for elves it was a straight line

[earendil-was-a-mariner]

Treebeard: wait you guys eat apples? Those are…they’re ent children. How could you?

Merry: oh my gosh we had no idea

Treebeard: nah just kidding. It’s just apples. I haven’t gotten to mess with anyone in like a thousand years

[autie-j]

Bugs Bunny could have simply walked into Mordor. He would have shown up at the gates of Mordor in a disguise and been like "Evil volcano inspection unit" and flashed a fake ID badge to the confused orc.

[slugxcrossing]

yes BUT

Daffy woulda been there too, doubting Bugs, complaining the whole way, and coveting the Ring at the last

and at the end, when Daffy tries to bite the Ring off Bugs’ finger and shatters his teeth on it, Bugs reveals that he’s holding a fake gloved hand on a stick, SLAPS Daffy with the fake gloved hand on a stick, and tosses the Ring nonchalantly into Mount Doom

leagues away, Sauron’s eye swings wildly to Mount Doom and Yosemite Sam’s voice screams WOT IN TARNATION!

[everythingbutlarry-deactivated2]

AU: President Obama falls for part white house intern part rockstar Harry Styles. Obama surprises Harry in the audience of one of his shows and the affair blossoms from there.

[tsarcasm-deactivated20180922]

Please get this off my dashboard right now immediately

[airframeextender]

this is the best post on this website

[autie-j]

Bugs Bunny could have simply walked into Mordor. He would have shown up at the gates of Mordor in a disguise and been like "Evil volcano inspection unit" and flashed a fake ID badge to the confused orc.

[jouster-ari]

@ebugsdotjpeg do you take suggestions?

[ebugsdotjpeg]

[alandrosul]

women in stem. women in root. women in leaf.

[catie-does-things]

[jrr-smokin]

[jrr-smokin]

[jrr-smokin]

[tim-official]

ORC FACTS

orcs do not have a concept of "what do you do for a living." that is meaningless. they are just hanging around and helping out. if enough people hang around and help out you get an orc society

[pluralwizard]

I think if you had a lovely session of online erotic roleplay with an elf, they’d spend three days in the prose of the preamble, actually mastered and do a sex scene for 20 minutes tops, and spell their moans out with needless apostrophes like “ Aaa’aaahn’n!” or “mmmnn’phh”

[madeingodsimage]

[ahopefulsun]

Wishing all of you a very merry "I suddenly have the motivation and time to write a minimum 10k fic"... please

[festival-of-pudding]

[jrr-smokin]

I've recently gotten into digital art for the first time! And, this Valentine's Day, I had monster love on the brain. So I decided to draw a cute pic for my partner. It's the first thing I've ever drawn digitally, so kind comments and constructive criticism are welcome.