i was thinking this morning about how i categorize fanfic authors that i enjoy like AKC breeds and decided to share my rubric with you:
the specialist: this author has a favorite kink or trope and has written 80% of the content in that tag. you know exactly what youâre getting. they have A Brandâ˘ď¸. no matter what other traits they display, dedicated rare pair authors belong here.
the chocolate box: essentially the exact opposite. this author will try anything once. they have 80+ works in the fandom with no discernible pattern. the shortest one is 268 words and the longest is well over 100k. this breed of author may or may not be related to:
the renaissance fan: theyâve written three things in your fandom: your favorite fic, your notp, and a bizarre crossover with a show youâve never heard of. you hit âexpand fandoms listâ on their author page and have to scroll down twice to reach the bottom. whenever you curse the fact that you canât legally commission fic writers, this is the author youâre thinking about.
the horn dog: theyâre here for one thing and one thing only. if someoneâs dick is not in another characterâs mouth within 500 words, they apologize for it in the authorâs notes. they have one (1) g-rated fic.
the rookie: this writer is usually young, new to fandom, or just got a beta-reader for the first time. their fics are a little all over the place, quality-wise, but youâre excited whenever their name pops up because their unique voice gets stronger every time. you feel a personal investment in their development, like youâre an old man reading the local high school sports page and saying âthis kidâs the one to watch.â
the live streamer: the most prolific author in the fandom. their works are all over the front page when you sort by kudos. you have no idea how they generate this much work, and have seriously wondered if they have access to an extra-dimensional time portal. their stories are usually un-betaâd and the characterization varies wildly, but their best works are inspired and youâve read them 30 times.
the cryptid: this one comes out of nowhere every two years, drops the best fanfic youâve ever read, and disappears. fifteen months after you left a three paragraph comment about how they changed your life, you get a message in your inbox that just says âthanks.â
the novelist: we talk about âfiling off the serial numbersâ when someone reworks their most popular story to pitch it as an original novel; this author somehow does the reverse. their fics are excellent, usually long-reaching multi-chapter AUs that have almost nothing to do with the on-screen characters except their names. iâd like to extend my personal thanks to this breed of author because itâs the closest i get to reading an actual book.
the reunion tour: this author wrote some of the most popular works in the fandom, but either moved on to k-pop or burned out when canon took a turn for the worse. they put out one new thing a year, often an old draft thatâs been haunting them from under the floorboards. their last six authorâs notes all say they never thought theyâd write this pairing again and âthis will probably be the last time.â
