Júlia O. R

EE and Roswell New Mexico super fan and protector. live laugh love. love is love. Be true and be you

[mutinsfromthemoon]

angry kitten expression means sex. shane mad for real has no expression on his face, completely blank. so the cens are worried all the time when they see shane looking mad at ilya and ilya buzzing with excitement thinking about what will happen when they leave

[ladyelspeth14]

harris watches the live stream in horror.

this was supposed to be about shane and ilya playing a few harmless games.

but then ilya reads out loud one particular question from the audience: "shane, do you have a costco card?"

shane says, "of course."

before harris knows it, ilya gets into a heated debate with shane about where they should buy their toilet paper next—it's the same brand, but ilya wants to try the version from the local supermarket, while shane insists that costco offers the best quality. they both forget about the game.

this video gets a ton of views. but shane and ilya still get a lecture from harris afterward.

[owlgoesgrowl]

I imagine that sometime after hollanov being outed, Shane is going to be caught making heart eyes at Ilya while ilya is playing hockey.

Some random hockey player will of course notice this, and be all “omg does Ilya being good at hockey turn you on?” Shane (at least in my hopes and dreams) will respond affirmatively. Naturally (not at all naturally) Random Hockey Player (copyright me) will then respond with a scandalized “hold up, this whole time you’ve been attracted to us?” *points to rest of hockey team that has magically appeared around them since I started thinking of this*. At this point, Shane looks this dude right in the eyes and says “you said good at hockey, not plays hockey”

It is at this point that Ilya will jump out from hiding with a sound effect machine and press the badum tss button. (No, I don’t know why he was hiding. None of this was planned.)

And they all (not Random hockey dude) live happily ever after.

[ggfj84]

Ficlet: You Call That Romance?

Shane Summer Fest 2026 Week 8: Game Changers Camp

Summary: Ilya and Shane sign each other’s jerseys. How they do it raises some questions.

---

“Why do you always sign there?”

Ilya blinked, marker perched over the top point of four. “What do you mean?”

Shane placed his elbow on the table and glowered. “You know exactly what I mean. When someone asks you to sign my jersey, you always sign at the top part of the four. Why?”

Ilya shrugged, but there was the tiniest hint of his crooked smile twisting his lips. “No reason. Just seemed like a good place.”

Shane would have yelled, “Bullshit,” if there weren’t kids around.

They were sitting at a long table at the Ottawa arena where they hosted this year’s Game Changers’ Camp. The last day always included an hour of the player-coaches signing any items the camp-goers wanted, so the table in front of them was filled with jerseys, shirts, hats, and more.

Many times, the kids – and even their parents – wanted both Ilya's and Shane’s signatures on their jerseys, no matter if it was 24 or 81. Who would pass up the opportunity to get the signatures of the first married couple in the NHL?

Shane generally signed on the one of Ilya’s jersey, but Ilya always signed at the top of the four.

“There’s a reason,” Shane continued as he signed a hat for a boy with curly hair. “I will find out what it is.”

“The only way for you to know, is for me to tell you.”

“It won’t be hard for me to get it out of you.”

And it wouldn't be, once they were alone, but Shane didn't want to wait. Curiosity always got the better of him, but that was how they got into this situation. So he really couldn't complain.

"Is it because you only have love for me?"

Ilya's eyebrows went up slightly. "No but good reason."

"Is it because my hotel room was 1410?"

"You really want me to say it here?"

Shane's eyes widened; his cheeks flushed, right over his freckles Ilya loved so much. 

"Oh, come on." He leaned forward, making sure the kids were all preoccupied before hissing, "It's not because you like me on all fours, is it?"

"I like that one." Ilya's eyes widened; his gaze turned intense and heated. “Yes, let's go with that one."

"You are a such a – " A little girl bounced up to the table. " – butt."

"That's not nice, Coach Hollander," the camp-goer said in a sing-song voice.

"Yes, Coach Hollander," Ilya joined in, smirking. "That is not a very nice thing to say, especially to your husband."

Shane rolled his eyes toward and contemplated how many years a Canadian court would give its favorite son for murdering his husband for completely legit reasons.

"Is simple," Ilya eventually said, once they were relatively alone again. Troy, Wyatt, and Max were still at the table, but none of them was listening or would care. "I just like signing higher than you. You have to sign below my signature if I sign there. Is all."

"Really?” Shane scoffed, eyebrow furling. “You like me beneath you?"

Ilya blushed, and it was adorable. Shane needed to see more of that.

"Now you are making it sound dirty.” Ilya threw marker top at him. “And you should sign the 2 because you are the second-best player in the league."

Shane couldn't keep the smile from his lips. "Three cups to one."

"But you were still drafted second.” Ilya finished signing the items in front of him. “Why do you sign on the one, hm?”

Shane laughed. "Cuz I’m number one, asshole."

Ilya groaned. “Oh my God, Hollander. That is so boring.”

“And – ” Shane shrugged. “ – you’re the only one for me.”

Ilya’s cheeks flushed; he struggled to retort, “Still boring. You call that romance? Try again.”

Shane then pushed the chair back and stood, leaning over to whisper in Ilya’s ear, “Once the kids leave. I had the arena put a lock on the office door.”

So Randy Price wouldn’t walk in on them for a third year in a row.

Shane smirked at his husband’s agape mouth, but it was his turn to be surprised when Ilya exploded out of the chair, bearhugging Shane.

“Husband of the year,” he muttered against Shane’s lips, and Shane didn’t like to brag…too much. But overall, he thought he was at least in the top seven.

Ilya? Top eight.

Fin

A/N: Not all stories can be winners. Sigh.  

[snowsmoked]

One day Ilya is trying to do some research on Anya’s various breeds (he got her a doggy DNA test) and it turns out she has a large percentage of herding dog in her.

He comes across the sentence, “a common behavior in herding breeds is staring intensely at their human until they get what they want.”

He screenshots it and sends it to Shane.

Ilya: You.

Shane: ???

[everythingzconnected]

One of my head canons is that in order to create the biologically best babies for hockey, Ilya and Shane ask Rose and Svetlana to be their surrogates. Rose and Svetlana don't want to have kids themselves, but are 100% on board to being the fun aunties. Can you imagine the genes of those kids? No matter which way they paired off, the kids would come out ridiculously gorgeous and good at hockey.

[brokenberries]

Little kid at some charity event: Hi Shane Hollander.

Shane: Oh hey, what's up?

Kid: I saw you on TV.

Shane: Oh yeah?

Kid: Yeah. Nice.. Nice job stealing the puck from Ilya Rozanov last night.

Shane: You were still up for that one or did you watch the highlight?

Kid: I watched it when you won and you got umm got your fifth goal.

Shane: Oh I thought you'd be asleep by then.

Kid: No I was at a hotel. You.. And you were also on TV at a restaurant.

Shane: Oh, that's nice to know.

Kid: Okay, bye Shane Hollander.

Shane: Bye kid!

Ilya, watching from a ways away: 🥺🥹I need to get him pregnant.

Hayden: I'm standing right here man.

Ilya: Close your ears Pike.

Hayden: You can't biologically get him pregnant.

Ilya: Shut your idiot mouth Pike. I can try.

[weralika]

so Ilya and Shane notice a hot guy in a cafe, he's wearing glasses and looks like a professional athlete, too. Ilya just wants to tease Shane about him, he says "I bet you'd like him to watch us" and Shane goes beet root red, because what the fuck

and Ilya jumps on it, "oh, you're interested, then? is it more than watching?" and "no, you shut up".

however, hockey gays can never be subtle and this gorgeous man clears his throat, looming awkwardly over their table.

"Excuse me, were you talking about having sex with me?" he asks politely.

What a good boy, Ilya thinks.

"No, we're uh- we're sorry to-" Shane tries, but Ilya talks over him:

"What if we were?"

The man bites his lip.

"Do you mind me asking something? I just- What makes you think that I love having threesomes?"

Ilya loses his ability to find the right English words, so he swears in russian, but Shane comes to rescue:

"No, it's nothing! We're just being rude to you, actually! You're a handsome man, my husband is kinda... He was just fooling around, please don't mind us and finish your meal!" he says and Ilya feels him kicking his shin. "Oh, you're eating salad before the main course? You follow a diet?"

"It's just how you should eat a meal, not a diet," the man states. Ha.

Ilya sees Shane smile at the stranger and wants to groan.

"So, there's nothing particular, then?" the man asks, after a long pause.

"No, we swear to good, you're just- Do you work out a lot?" Shane gestures at stranger's body.

"Yes, I'm a professional athlete," the man smiles in a way that makes Ilya think about plastic dolls, not a real smile for sure.

"We are, too," Shane practically beams at him, and Ilya swears to god, he still thinks the man wants to fuck him, though he clearly doesn't.

"I know who you are," the man tsks, "I supposed you heard some stupid rumors about me and wanted to joke about it, but if you're really just into hot jocks, then everything's okay, I think?"

"Yeah, we're cool, sorry to have bothered you," Shane waves to the man.

Ilya looks at his husband, trying to decipher if everything is good. Is Shane gonna have a panic attack about the whole situation? Shane bites his lip. Fishes his phone out of his pocket. Tries to find something on the news, Ilya knows this expression.

"Holy shit," he whispers. "It was Kevin Day. From exy. He plays with Minyard, you know Minyard, right? Holy shit!"

Ilya laughs. He needs to know who fucks this guy, asap. And how many boyfriends he has, just for gossiping purposes. What a fucking day.

[cunning-and-cool]

hollanov playing minigolf

[rainbow-femme]

The Centaurs decide to secretly compete to see who can make Ilya laugh the hardest as part of a social media campaign promoting the upcoming season

Most of them get at least a chuckle out of Ilya, some get a full laugh. Shane goes last and he just silently texts Ilya something then puts his phone down. Ilya checks his phone and starts laughing so hard he almost passes out, with Shane smiling smugly at the others who all went all out in their efforts to make their captain laugh

The video ends with a screenshot of what Shane sent Ilya and it’s a picture of Anya wearing sunglasses

For weeks Ilya will start laughing when he looks at his phone and sees the picture and it pisses the team off every time because Shane just silently grins every time

[mutinsfromthemoon]

ilya came all over shane’s face, pulling some onto his mouth. shane sucked his finger and ilya said “how do you say when someone gives you a nice thing? aren’t you a respectful canadian?” and shane says “thank you” and ilya goes “you’re such a whore” and shane responded “only for you” and ilya asked “yeah? whose mouth is this?” and shane responded “yours, only yours” and ilya’s like “yeah, you’re only mine, my slut” as he put one more finger into shane’s mouth, who whimpered. ilya goes “i wish i could capture that. you look so good, flushed with my cum all over your face”. that’s how shane gifted ilya with a digital camera and how he ended up with a pornographic album of shane.

[allstarrocks]

shane and ilya getting to the cottage and ilya immediately laying shane out on the bed and absolutely COVERING him in hickeys 🤩🤩

[hr-rep]

Okay and what if I said Shane and Ilya have a game where Ilya points at different objects and says do you think we could make it fit [inside your asshole] which devolves just into Ilya looking at an object for a second too long and Shane going OBVIOUSLY NOT ILYA . This game goes on for a very long time.

[lexicanons]

Robbers break into Shane and Ilya’s home when they’re on a road trip. Of course, they take the safe thinking money or other valuables are in it. When they get the safe back to their hideout, the manage to crack it open but are disappointed when they open it and it’s just a bunch of DVDs in plastic cases. They decided to watch one, because why the hell not. They’re expecting a silly little family video, maybe a birthday party or vacation. They did not expect to see a naked, tied up and blindfolded Ilya Rozanov with an equally naked Shane Hollander pouring what looked like hot wax on Ilya’s abs. A week or so later, the safe with all of the DVDs are left on Shane and Ilya’s front step with a note telling them not to worry about them posting anything. They didn’t keep any copies but they did watch all of the videos and they’re very hot. They suggest creating an only fans once they retire.

[sabotage-on-mercury]

Ilya sometimes just likes to casually play with Shane's hole without the intention of getting either of them off. Just resting on the couch, Shane half laying on top of Ilya, Ilya is wetting his finger before slipping his hand under Shane's briefs and just touching, exploring feeling the soft skin of his rim, probing around the tight heat as if it was his stimming toy, ever so slowly coaxing Shane open and idly dipping the pad of his finger in and out, making Shane feel warm and buzzy while they watch a movie, nearly falling asleep

[mutinsfromthemoon]

shane and ilya invited some of their friends from the cens to spend a weekend with them at the cottage. they gave troy and harris a ride and when they arrived, they all stepped out of the car and ilya went to open the trunk to grab their luggage and then he goes and grab his own bag as well and harris asks “why are you guys bringing clothes? don’t you already have some here?” and ilya’s like “not that many” and harris goes “why?” and then it clicks and he goes “oh my god” and troy goes “ew man” and ilya says “everything we do can be done naked here, it’s very private. even yoga shane does without clothes and i just watch him from afar” and harris asks “why from afar?” and ilya goes “well look at shane, wouldn’t you be all over him all the time if he was your man?” and harris and troy say at the exact same time “yes” and ilya gasps clutching his imaginary pearls and asks gobsmacked “why are you guys agreeing with me?” then he turns toward the cottage and screams to shane who was already inside “shane you’re not allowed to wear swimwear this weekend, stay fully clothed, do not even take off your shirt”

[sqoiler]

shane and ilya end up on opposing all star teams after they’re on the centaurs together and some teammate is like are you sad to be on diff teams? and mr and mr competitive are like not really 😈