To be or not to be

I could write but I do shitposts instead

[ikevamp-twitter]

[lichtluv]

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𝐢 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭…

𝐢'𝐦 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐬𝐨 𝐢'𝐦 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭.

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*⁀➷ 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙤𝙙𝙤𝙧𝙪𝙨 𝙫𝙖𝙣 𝙜𝙤𝙜𝙝 𝙢𝙤𝙤𝙙𝙗𝙤𝙖𝙧𝙙.

[i-will-help-you-swim]

Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.

I'm trying to prove something.

[cmoon-rabbit4-blog]

Reblog if your blog is a safe place for asexuals.

[just-a-fellow0]

If you receive this, you make somebody happy! Go on anon and send this to ten of your followers who make you happy or somebody you think needs cheering up. If you get one back, even better! ♡♡♡

Aww thank you❤️❤️ (and also to the anon who sent me this❤️)

[ikevamp-twitter]

[debrides]

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

[lesbirdan]

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

[hermionegranger]

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

[mugsandpugs1-deactivated2019010]

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

[thomrainierskies]

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

[mirab3lle]

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

[icouldwritebooks]

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

[crimeronan]

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

[agrestenoir]

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

[gin-and-eschatonic]

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

[harold-theyre-thespians]

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

[narwhalsarefalling]

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

[wren-likethe-bird]

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

[la-mancha-screwjob]

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

[fair-itself]

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

[maplefiasco]

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

[iamthatbeast]

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

[widonotts]

My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.

[artwlw]

my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area

[youlovelucie]

I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool

[spacecores]

a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”

[thebritishteapot]

Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.

[valkyrieritter]

The other day they had me working with softserve and fried dough. I was burned out because I kept bouncing back and forth between the fryer and my register and these people had like, 8 things in their order. We get to the ice cream part of the order, and it comes in a bowl or cone. Instead of saying “Would you like the vanilla in a bowl or cone?” I said “Would you like the bowl in a vanilla or cone?” And we all stopped and had to think that through as my cart runner is staring me down like “tf are you doing?”

[dhampir-dyke]

I work at Hardees and we have to yell “thank you” whenever we’re told to do something because of how loud the kitchen is.

One morning, my mom hollered at me to wake up, and half-asleep me yells at full volume,

“THANK YOU”

[eyefriend-deactivated20181218]

i work with dogs, and i have to be a bit strict with them sometimes in order to keep fights from breaking out. recently, while making tea, the kettle started boiling sooner than i wanted, so without thinking i turned around sharply, pointed my finger at it and stared it down, and said, “Bad boy! You need to wait!” needless to say i was very glad i was alone

[mynameisdevon]

I know I’ve reblogged this a billion times but I’ve worked retail for 8 years and these things are never not funny.

[swimtonewyorkstate]

I work with horses and whenever someone’s driving too fast I’ll say stuff like “whoa” and I’ve tried to click to a car because that’s a cue for a horse to go faster.

[lady2828]

It’s also fucking hilarious when lawyers meet judges outside court. Like you’ll just catch us standing up from our tables and bowing awkwardly at a random person who doesn’t look like a judge and then sitting back down and carrying on, like we’re all in some cult.

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[dduane]

:)

[ceevee5]

[the-elf-draws]

Asking for directions

[sohanelyddgd]

Small rook

Summer

[plumiie]

Fan art of Riddle, Leona, Azul and Kalim!! ❤️ 

[alby-rei]

Ikemen Vampire RPG [Fan-made]

Hey friends, I decided to challenge myself in June to create a short game, and what better way to do that than to bring our favorite mansion to life! This challenge was a learning experience for me to learn the basics of game dev, which I enjoyed tremendously and hope to do more of!

✨ Play as the housekeeper of le Comte de Saint-Germain’s mansion, who is left alone to do as they please. But there is work to do, and the residents have left notes in their respective rooms of their requests! 

✨ Finish them all to gain access to entries from Sebastian’s ‘Oh no, they didn’t!’ journal and learn something new about the boys we know and love. 

✨ For more info, head over to this link! (And do let me know what you thought of the experience!) 💕 💕 💕

[yanderepuck]

Mc referring to Comte as "dad" when Vlad is flirting with her

"sorry. My dad says I can't"

"I have to get going or else my dad will get worried about me"

And finally one day Vlad says he wants to meet her dad and she panics.

But she happened to be in town with Comte that day and so Comte comes up to her, not realizing she's talking to Vlad.

And Mc is like "oh! Hey dad! This is-"

"why is my ex your dad"

"why is my ex flirting with you"

Mc has never been more confused

[ambimakesarts]

Behold the complete set of TWST redraws!

I actually planned ahead this time instead of whatever I did last time.

[terristre]

crowleys password was "password"

[ikevamp8marina]

Things will happen if you decide to stay at Le comte's mansion

Explanation:

In this post I will discuss what will happen with you and what you'll see if you decide to stay in Comte's mansion.

Naked Jean running around the mansion.

You'll be the main topic of the residents conversation.

You'll probably being teased by almost all of the mansion's residents.

Leonardo will drag you wherever he go.

Comte and Arthur going to flirt with you.

Comte having a ballroom party every week but he attend a lot of them during the week.

Probably all the mansion's residents have seen you naked once or twice.

There's nothing that called privacy even if you're in your own room.

Like all the mansion residents have entered to your room one time during the day or even at night.

You'll get used on someone waking you up or a dead body sleeping next to you.

You're their most precious treasure and they're going to protect you no matter what.

Mozart wouldn't stop playing on the piano like the time will pass the midnight and you'll still hear the piano melody playing around.

Tea party with Comte during afternoon time would be a thing too.

He'll invite you to spend time with you.

You and Comte will go for shopping in the most expensive stores in the town and you wouldn't complain because he will spend thousands on you.

Napoleon and teaching lessons to the children in the alley with Isaac almost everyday and you'll attend them to help .

Arthur will try to impress you by solving and analyzing everything you do.

Theo is going to drown everything he eat with sugar or syrup.

Vincent and Isaac have the less loud personalities in the whole mansion.

Jean and Mozart won't spend too much time with you unlike the rest of the residents and especially Dazai.

You caught him entering via your window and you gratitude God he didn't see you naked, you think he didn't but in fact he did see you naked.

Comte have the fatherly personality of the whole mansion so when he hug you or pat your head you wouldn't feel like he is flirting.

Dazai have the most thoughtful character in the whole mansion you'll be surprised of how much he is going to shower you with thoughtful advice.

You'll often see a group of the residents heading naked to the thermae to take a bath together.

Napoleon and Jean will spare together and they love to trian with each other.

Sebastian and his dry jokes.

~°•°~°•°~°•°~°•°~°•°~°•°~°•°~°•°~°•°~°•°~

I hope you enjoyed reading my work❤.

Have a nice day/evening🤍🦋.

*Follow me for more

M

[rakiah]

Appreciation for Rook level up at its max.

[ice-cweam-sod4]

WE WERE FUCKING ROBBED

[cupids-chamber]

Im now sad

[ikimaru]

honor™