Everything And Nothing

Putting my jumbled, terrible thoughts out there so I feel less alone.

[just2cope]

Here Again...

Soooo I'm back. Why? Cuz I suck at not being an attention whore. Like nobody cares about these posts and no one really sees them but somehow it's comforting. Comforting to know that someone might stumble across and be like "Me." So what is it now you ask? Well, I'm an attention whore that can't learn how be a-fucking-lone. Two years, two relationships. And now I'm tossing this mess of wanting attention and love onto this poor kid that just wants to be balls deep in me and nothing more. And the shitty thing is, I said it didn't have to be anything more. But, I know damn well I'm not mentally and emotionally sound enough to say whether or not it really can just be sex. But honestly, I can't tell if I need to get over it or get new friends. At least at LVC I never felt alone. And it's a feeling I really miss. Because now it's just school and work and confusion. And I live my life on edge everyday. But is it me? And if it isn't, what is it? And if it is, can it be fixed? It's a small problem to some people, but it's making me want to bang my head against a wall. Makes me want to cut him off, but then I don't have a back up plan (dick). So I feel lost. And when I'm lost, I'm angry at myself. But the theme of all of this has been that I am or am being or am thinking too much. So how do I shut my brain up without putting a bullet through it?

[just2cope]

Dear Diary, 

Thank you for whatever spirit out their heard my soul. Lately, I’ve been really lost and coulnd’t make myself happy. I lost touch with the old me, the present me, and the future one. I used to know exactly what I wanted, or at least pretended I did. But, that belief limited me and made me confused. I kept wrapping myself in things and worlds that weren’t really. But, in truth, there is nothing in the world that could make me happier than my imagination. And, even then, I lost that too. Today I was thinking about if I am being fake or not. If I am pretending to love someone or not. Some might say that even the doubt is enough of an answer, but I’m still so unsure. Therefore, I am going to stop limiting myself. I’ll live how I want and do what I want. Even if I don’t know myself yet, I will. And when I do, I’ll allow that person to make the hard decisions I’m thinking of. So, wait for me. I’ll be better soon.

Love,

Me.

[just2cope]

Promise me one thing.

Even though I’m only 16,

Kill me when I’m done living,

Because I am not done dying.

And when I’m done learning,

that the disappointment of living

will never exceed the one of dying.

Because we are never born alive,

we are born dead. And it is,

sadly, our responsibility to become

Alive.

[just2cope]

Humans are weird aren’t they. They go after faux ideals when they all seek, or at least should seek, a quite simple and common one. Happiness is a peaceful goal. Those seeking true happiness do not seek work or fame or money. No matter how many disagree, I firmly believe humans are the most sociable people in the world, and only the lack of social situations can cause such delusions in life’s greatest goal. You never hear of a happily never after because so many people want to be happy, and its terrible that humans have denied themselves something so much that it has become a fantasy in their creative works. It absolutely baffles me how we humans give up our happiness so willingly. We work, for what? A better income that will lead to a better life? You all know that money spawns from the irrational obsession with useless metals and gems. Our ancestors thought they were pretty and believed that taking lives for said objects was justified. It is a sad past, a past that will always repeat. It is even sadder that we’ve made excuses for ourselves. Is there really some deity that does not feel the need for things like our petty desires? Alternatively, is there really a thing cruel enough to subject others to all the evil in the world? Another addition that makes all of this even worse, is that humans have made this all so common that even if you have ambitions to rightfully change these ways you will “rightfully” be crushed by their ignorance.

We are a sad kind. I can’t take knowing all of this. I can’t take how petty we are. I’d never give up my life, but if I did, know it wasn’t because I was bullied or some shit. It was because I know that our world is useless. And I can’t do anything as 1 out of the 7.3 billion. 

I don’t know if I’d want to even if I could.

[frankielliot]

multiple personality disorder

I remember your mother:

she had sixteen different personalities and got arrested because she thought she was a trucker, swearing like a sailor one night at the bar.

And I remember your father with his trailer and boxes of blow up dolls and dildos beneath his cot.

And I remember you with ripped pages from books plastered about your walls and quiet green eyes:

the words devastatingly beautiful and ice cream dripping on the sidewalk still come to mind.

You were the smartest one in Philosophy but passed notes asking to see my tits. It was all because your Jehovah’s Witness girlfriend was cheating on you.

I’m not gonna lie, I always thought that was most sincere.

You told me she’s okay now, she only has one personality: a neurotic mother who smokes too much.

And your father grew a beard to his waist, moved to the mountains and shot himself, and you said something about wanting to join the army.

I said I wanted to sell roses in another language on the corner of a cobblestone street or you know, be a writer.

But you said, you can’t be both, darling, we aren’t that lucky.

[poeticcases]

Monday…

*facepalm*

www.poeticcases.com

[r32x]

:3

[thenamesjocelyn]

[jatel0-deactivated20150421]

For The Masses:

http://gen.lib.rus.ec

http://textbooknova.com

http://en.bookfi.org/

http://www.gutenberg.org

http://ebookee.org

http://www.manybooks.net

http://www.giuciao.com

http://www.feedurbrain.com

http://oll.libertyfund.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=380

http://www.alleng.ru/ 

http://www.eknigu.com/ 

http://ishare.iask.sina.com.cn/

http://2020ok.com/

http://www.freebookspot.es/Default.aspx

http://www.freeetextbooks.com/

http://onebigtorrent.org/

http://www.downeu.me/ebook/

http://forums.mvgroup.org

http://theaudiobookbay.com/

More Here

[keomoto-deactivated20141214]

no one coulda reblogged this a month ago when i spent 500

[kreativegeenius]

momentsbymarcus

[trappunzelll]

Look at KB coming through

[kimreesesdaughter]

Every time you see this, reblog it. There is always someone in college that will see this.

[gintokigf]

Like imagine being Jungkook or Yibo or Bambams mother and seeing all these fuckin ADULT 20 something’s thirsting after and talking about having sex with your CHILD!!??! YOUR 17 YEAR OLD CHILD. how horrifying would that be as a parent to see your underage son being sexualized by a bunch of adults and you can’t do anything about it cuz they think it’s justifiable. Like wow

[fanboyingoverdemigods]

[fruitcrocs-deactivated20240702]

not even fuckin risking it at this stage

[jxnc-deactivated20170922]

I’m not even in school but I can’t risk it

[tastefullyoffensive]

(photos via @snickers)

[pandaaamonium14]

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[skrillcholas-cage]

oh my god these are great

[princemetalthunder]

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes

[the-average-gatsby]

[misscherrylikesthediscourse]

I think I might have broken my finger reblogging this. 

[cryptidbitch-deactivated2017080]

EVERYONE TAKE A MINUTE TO JUST APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT DONALD GLOVER EXISTS AND KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK IS UP

[dadsdadsdadsdads]

[sleezysays-deactivated20150716]

NASA recently released imagery showing the deforestation of America  …in just 34 years.

We are killing the Earth

[jellybeanjeunet-blog]

Forever reblog.

[x2ny2]

Oh wow

[walkbarefoot]

THIS HURTS

[runsleepygirl-deactivated201410]

How long are we going to keep closing our eyes to this? What are we going to do?

[just2cope]

4 o’clock in the morning thoughts at 10 o’clock at night marks the point of no return. Let bridges that keep sanity from being soaked and swept along fall, as well as the buildings that keep our heads in the sky crash to reality. Because life is actually chaos, and people are just there to spread the word. Do I sound chaotic to you? Do you ever sound chaotic to yourself? If you’ve answered yes to the first but not the second, you’ve just proven life’s greatest illusion. Have fun in “reality”, because for me, it’s 10:15.

[steamingmugs]

[sun-walkers]

IS THIS A FUCKING RAINBOW CHEESECAKE?????

I AM FUCKING MAKING THIS.

[avferreira-blog]

Original Video: How to Make Rainbow Cheesecake

[iamlanakane-deactivated20190711]

Reblogging for future reference.

[rcmclachlan]

I made a rainbow cake for my first college party. I covered it in black frosting and dusted it with white sprinkles so it would be very dramatic when it was cut into. The cake was thrown onto a table with a bunch of other desserts and kind of forgotten about; the host had taken it from me with a look of ‘I can’t believe this idiot freshman made a fucking black cake.’

Cue two hours later when someone cut into it and screamed, “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, COME AND SEE THIS CAKE.”

After that, I had more friends than I knew what to do with.

[just2cope]

When you see it, REBLOG IT

Depression Hotline: [phone]

Suicide Hotline: [phone]

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: [phone]

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

If you ever want to talk: My Tumblr ask is always open.