Onx

*bug noises*

[memewhore]

[dateamonster]

by the fourth or fifth time you "come back wrong" no ones even impressed anymore

[dateamonster]

and good luck explaining things to your insurance provider!

[ouppygirlpaws]

🦠 #my crobe

[gloomsday]

sent this message to my coworker today and he sent me this screenshot with microsoft teams's suggested replies... incredible 10/10 no notes.

[pixiecaps]

big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings

[gumy-shark]

oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

[crossroadsbishounen]

[yellow-cat]

i could be your pet rock. id be very good at it

[yellow-cat]

ive had some time to think and honestly i dont think id be a very good pet rock. i dont know what i was thinking. theres too much anger in me

[mizuthe-cat]

“why are you smiling at your phone” because my friends <333333 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 ✨✨✨🌈🌈🌈

[veliseraptor]

love writing a post and then discarding it immediately. microdosing on having an opinion

[excuse-me-thanks]

“i should take a walk for my mental health” boring, tired, i don’t even really wanna do it tbh

“i need to check the perimeter” i need to check the perimeter

[greenlabcoat]

im not a "good boy" im nuanced. also i hurt strangers for no reason sometimes

[pixelprofligate]

im sorry tumblr dot com but no matter how many ads you give me for bras i still do not have tiddies unfortunately

[meow-two-days-ago-woem]

i wish you and your future tiddies luck

[pixelprofligate]

Thank you I'll name my firstborn tiddy after you

[fnordseer5]

one word horror story:

boo!

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

I mean, I don't want to sound stupid, but I always assumed that the Ancient Romans were mammals

[thatsbelievable]

[encryptidarchivist]

count dracula? uhhh ok. one

[zamczysko]

WRONG! searching "dracula" on letterboxd alone gives almost 600 results! and that's just movies! thousands of draculas are upon us

[kozlarz]

cmon they just started… give it some time

[encryptidarchivist]

thank you.

two