i haaate when ppl are talking abt mammal colouration and they bring up mandrills but not vervet monkeys.... fake fans
put some respect on his name

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@justanotherbloggername
i haaate when ppl are talking abt mammal colouration and they bring up mandrills but not vervet monkeys.... fake fans
put some respect on his name
would y’all ever date someone with the same name as you?
I’m sorry for adding directly to a post but I went to a wedding once where the groom’s name was Loren and the bride’s name was Lauren and at the end the officiant was all “introducing Loren [surname] and Lauren [surname], husband and wife” and the entire assembled lost it
also sorry for adding on but at my high school there was a Dominic and a Dominique who were dating and everyone just called them “Dom and Dommer” which is honestly the funniest shit ever
My parents are both named Terry (spelled differently) but I’m pretty sure that’s one of the reasons my mom never changed her last name.
People would call and ask for Terry and child me would be like “boy or girl?” And they’d panic and hang up. My mom found this endlessly amusing.
Why would you leave this GOLD in the tags??
Had to submit it to the tags for peer review
i would like to thank the folks over at WeirdPain for giving my body a free trial; i was starting to get bored of the normal pain i feel all the time, but with WeirdPain, i never have to worry about the monotony! WeirdPain will show up in places you didn't know could feel their own pain, in ways you didn't know could hurt. ever feel like your bone marrow is being tugged on? with WeirdPain, you finally can! i can't recommend it enough. head on over to the link in the description and use code KAYLMAO30 for 30% off your first year. thanks again to WeirdPain for sponsoring this post!
Subscription auto-renewed! Thanks for choosing WeirdPain for the next year!
Really glad predictive text exists. Should i bring my own parking lot
One of my favorite genres of post
there are a lot of really good ancient roman laws but i think my favorite is that, if you got struck by lightening and died, you couldnt have a proper burial because it meant that the gods hated you
“Jupiter cancelled him and we’re not going to question that”
genuinely asking: how would these laws apply to that guy who got struck by lightning on seven separate occasions but survived every time?
I think I would have assumed Zeus was trying to fuck him.
worst possible response thanks so much
So I just saw a post by a random personal blog that said “don’t follow me if we never even had a conversation before” and?????? Not to be rude but literally what the fuck??????????
I’ve had people (non-pornbots) try to strike conversation out of nowhere in my DMs recently, and now I’m wondering if they were doing that because they wanted to follow me and thought they needed to interact first. I feel compelled to say, just in case, that it’s totally okay to follow this blog (or my side blog, for that matter) even if we’ve never talked before.
Also, I’m legit confused. Is this how follow culture works right now? It was worded like it’s common sense but is that really a thing?
Saw a sharp increase in my follower count after posting this. The legitimacy of it is driving me nuts so I also feel the need to say that you can follow anyone on here regardless of whether you’ve interacted with them or not. People like the above mentioned blog are exceptions. Perhaps they themselves think they aren’t and therefore will act like they aren’t, but they are, trust me.
Just follow anyone you wanna follow. The worst thing that can happen is maybe getting soft-blocked by the other person, but if they do soft-block you, then they were never that worth following in the first place.
wow. really hope this isn't actually a norm taking hold with new users! this isn't facebook, you don't need to know people before following them
this is the '10 year mutuals you've never spoken to once' site
Follow! REBLOG! It's how the site works!!
if i die i want to be skeletonized and then dipped into a very large version of those children's grow your own crystal kits
no tumblr it's okay my audience will find me
please reblog this i spent way too long on what was supposed to be a quick edit
it is lowkey v funny that we started saying “we have got to get regular porn back on this website” bc it’s not wrong but also when we had “regular” porn on this website in 2014 people were still hornyposting box.gif and the weirdfruit.gif
tumblr users simply have the magic ability to find porn in the most mundane of places
real tumblr veterans remember horny blorbo posting with these gifs
I can’t believe this was a real tweet
popping my vagina into another woman’s vagina… candace owens is creating new forms of sex im not even able to visualise
*Scrolls past*
*reluctant sigh*
*scrolls back up*
*rebogs*
🦇Service Mindset🦇
Don’t be rude to whoever has the midnight shift at McDonalds
the past three weeks in a row, partner has gone to chipotle and been served by the same employee who, in bold defiance of the testimony of his own eyes and ears, ardently refuses to believe carnitas exist
partner: “Hi, could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and carnitas?”
employee (completely blank expression): “No.”
partner (autistic) (socialscript.exe encountered an unhandled exception) : “…Uh. Um. Sorry?”
employee: “We don’t have that.”
partner (wondering if perhaps he put too much of the authentic accent on the word and that’s what’s throwing the guy): “You don’t have…(pronouncing it whiter) carnitas?”
employee (face still unreadable): “No.”
partner (looking at the near-full hotel pan of perfectly normal carnitas in its usual place on the other side of the glass) (noticing this employee looks unfamiliar) (maybe he’s a new guy that just started five minutes ago with no training?) : “The…pork?” (pointing at it)
employee: “We don’t have pork.”
partner (beginning to wonder if he’s the one that’s losing it) (desperately looks to the menu on the wall behind the employee) (the menu lists carnitas as a protein option) (the word “carnitas” is not crossed out or taped over or otherwise adulterated) (carnitas have been on the standard menu since at least 2016) : “Okay. Um. Are you…sure?”
other employee working the toppings part of the line (familiar) (have seen her before) (she has cool earrings): *gives the new guy a strange look, nudges him aside, and scoops the carnitas onto partner’s bowl before continuing with the other toppings*
Repeat conversation again the next week. And the next. Same guy. If it’s a bit, no one is laughing, including the employee.
theories I’ve considered:
- the employee keeps very strictly kosher/halal/vegan and refuses to handle pork (understandable, I respect that, but if you’re gonna work at a place that serves pork I do kinda feel like when someone orders it you’ve just gotta tap in a coworker to do it for you)
- someone did something gross to the carnitas and the employee is trying to warn people not to order it (??? throw it out then? also, three weeks in a row???)
- the employee is a space alien who views humans as so similar to pigs that for us to eat them is tantamount to cannibalism
- the employee is the lead in a kdrama romance about a pampered, clueless chaebol heir who is sent by his father to work in the company’s restaurants for a year in order to prove he’s ready to take over as CEO. he’s dumb as rocks but they can’t fire him or even correct him that harshly due to the power gradient. partner is just a minor reoccurring character, and the interaction is kept the same from week to week to highlight the development of the relationship between the employee and his love interest with the cool earrings (even if the restaurant is literally a fully-branded Chipotle, that’s somehow still not enough product placement for me to believe this is a real kdrama)
After reviewing again with partner, evidently I forgot a detail that set this week’s carnitas denial dance apart from the others.
partner (well aware of what he’s getting into with this guy now): “Hi. Could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and pork?”
employee: “We don’t have pork.”
partner (demonstrating a level of patience only a public school teacher could have): *points at the pan of carnitas* “Could I please just have some of that?”
employee (after several slow, confused blinks): *points at the same pan* “That’s steak.”
partner (looking at the hotel pan they’re both pointing at) (it is filled with shredded meat of a pale beige color) (at the other end of the row of pans is another pan containing dark brown, lightly charred meat chopped into small pieces): “Okay.” *deciding he’s willing to play in this fantasy space if it gets the job done, he points at the first pan again* Then could I please have the steak?”
employee: *starts to reach for the pan at the other end containing the actual steak*
partner: "Oh—no, sorry, this one please?" *points at the first pan containing the carnitas*
employee: *blinks, then just walks away and starts helping the next customer in line, leaving partner's bowl unfinished*
other employee with cool earrings: *rolls her eyes at new employee, takes partner’s bowl, and fills it with carnitas herself*
new theories:
- the employee is a bridge troll who will only dole out his delectable carnitas to those who prove themselves worthy by correctly answering his riddles three
- the employee is stoned out of his mind at all times on a specific strain of weed that totally erases the concept of pork from his memory and awareness
I'm invested but also OP someone go with your partner so they can escalate next time because this is some fucking bullshit I'm getting annoyed on your partners behalf.
This is so fucking embarrassing. This is one of the most embarrassing business quips I have ever seen in my entire vile career.
coat bath
tag yourselves i'm the GREAT ROOM beside the GOURMET KITCHEN
i remade it in the sims 4