justchickenin

he/she/they Do you think if you ate a bunch of peach bark and then snorted baking soda the acid from the cyanide in the bark would be cancelled out? Genderqueer and asexual

[zyzscribbles]

Important question

[awkwardbirdsdreaming]

Okay but I think these two are onto something

[verbrannt74]

Test subject

(no bird was harmed)

[joy-and-whimsy-official]

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

[ikimaru]

added the Jax and Pomni one and here's all of them!! 🫶

[tpwrtrmnky]

Like. Look. Listen. I have taught introductory quantum physics at a university level, and I need you all to incorporate this into your trans advocacy: There are situations where you need to make a decision to prioritize being comprehensible to your target audience above being The Most Unassailably Correct.

[the-frightening-ghoul]

Its pride month

You know what that means >:)

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[the-frightening-ghoul]

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[the-frightening-ghoul]

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[the-frightening-ghoul]

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[help-me-or-kelp-me]

[esotericstar]

got my girlfriend into chuck tingle’s horror and we both bought a different book of his to the pool which summoned a bear who came over and was like MY MAN CHUCK TINGLE before diving into the pool

[drchucktingle]

you see what happens when you enter the tingleverse?

[knewkit]

Honestly I find it cute how Zira is a moon and Miss is the earth and before Zira met Aika she'd always hover around Miss because Miss was her only friend at the time! I think its really cute ^_^

Back in high school, i had a teacher who I'd hang out with all the time. She taught english though! I'd hang out with her in the mornings, during breaks, and even after school, she was sooooo fun! Im in college now and were friends, which is so AWESOME!! So Miss and Zira's dynamic really reminds me of the one we had!

Post by @kianamaiart · 9 images

💬 49  🔁 3814  ❤️ 16714 · Advice

[natalieironside]

"'I don't know' isn't an answer" alright man then I'll just. Fuckin. Enter my philosophical mind-palace and check the fuckin akashic records. Real quick lemme just catch and cook and eat the Salmon of All Knowledge. Tell me ur question again so I can real quick climb to the highest branches of the Yggdrasil and lay it at the feet of Freda the all-wise Queen of Heaven. Dickhead.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

so what you're gonna do is you're gonna trim the top off a bulb of garlic, using the knife's edge to take off the tip of every individual clove, that's important. you're gonna place the garlic face-up in a square of tinfoil, drizzle with olive oil, wrap completely in foil, place in baking tray, repeat with a copious amount of garlic bulbs. you're gonna put that baking tray in an oven set to 375-400°F, for 30-50 minutes, until soft and browned. you're gonna toast some good bread, slather generously with butter and honey, maybe a tiny lil bit o' salt. and then. you're gonna SQUEEZE. OUT. THAT. ROASTED GARLIC. onto the butter honey toast. and you're gonna eat it. food stolen directly from the plate of the gods. that's what you're gonna do.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the garlic. it beckons you

[thesweetestsupervillains]

It occurs to me that "1920s gangster doing a cooking show while holding you at gunpoint" is an untapped market.

We've had normal cooking shows. Now we need period piece cooking shows in character.

[thehufflepuffduck]

A second part to this post. Part three is here

**In the hospital**

Bruce, to Stephanie: Okay, the doctor prescribed some Advil for the stomach pain, but otherwise you should be fine

Stephanie, in a hospital bed with her arm in a cast: I can’t believe you broke my arm, Bruce. I thought I was your favorite Robin

Damian: Why is Stephanie the favorite?! She was only Robin for a month!

Stephanie: Yeah, ‘cause Bruce fired me ‘cause he wanted me to be safe. He hasn’t fired you ‘cause he doesn’t care

Damian: That’s not true! Father, that’s not true, is it?

Bruce: Of course not, I don’t have favorites. And Stephanie, I didn’t break your arm

Stephanie: Your cooking broke my arm and you were the cooker of your cooking so your cooking, done by you, the cooker, broke my arm

Bruce: Moving past the fact that that makes absolutely no sense, your arm is broken because you were flailing around on the floor

Stephanie: Because of your cooking

Bruce: Because of your reaction to my cooking

Stephanie: Are you blaming me after you broke my arm and probably my stomach?!

Bruce: Okay, the cupcakes weren’t that bad

Stephanie: Not that bad?! NOT THAT BAD?! IM IN THE HOSPITAL!

Bruce: For mostly unrelated reasons!

Stephanie: The doctor had to prescribe Advil for the stomach pain you put me through! And I’m probably benched ‘till my arm heals!

Damian: I got to skip the school event. Thank you for scaring Brown with your cooking, father

Bruce: You’re welcome, Damian. And Stephanie, you had stomach pain after eating at BatBurger and you didn’t stop. Besides, I’d bet anything that most of your stomach pain is because you ate all thirty cupcakes

Stephanie: … I’m not talking to you anymore.

Bruce: Alrighty then

**Complete silence**

Stephanie: Damian, tell Bruce I said this is all his fault

Damian: I am not a messenger

Stephanie: I’ll take you and Jon to a cat cafe next weekend

Damian: Father, this is all your fault. I will go call Jonathan now and inform him of the good news *Basically runs off*

Stephanie: See? Even your youngest child agrees

Bruce: I was not aware that you were willing to watch two preteen boys for multiple hours. I suppose I’ll have to inform Clark that you’re an option if either of us ever need a babysitter

Stephanie: …Just this once

Bruce: Hm. So will you be staying at the Manor during your recovery?

Stephanie: Fine, but only because Cass is there

Bruce: Of course

Stephanie: Now let’s go. The hospital bed is uncomfy

[thehufflepuffduck]

Bruce, closing the cabinet door: Okay, who ate the cupcakes?

Dick: We have cupcakes? Give me one

Bruce: Not anymore, they’re all gone. All thirty of them

Stephanie, crossing her arms: Why does it matter? Just ask Alfred to make some more if you want some

Bruce: They’re not for me; they’re for Damian’s school event which is in… *checks his watch* twenty minutes

Dick: Maybe you can bring a bowl of candy or something

Tim, looking up from his phone: Oh, actually I took most of the candy to a thing with my friends

Jason, walking in and sitting down at the counter: Tim has friends?

Tim: Your best friends are basically hand-me-downs from Dick, I wouldn’t be talking

Jason, scowling: That’s—

Dick: Timmy, you sure you took all the candy? You didn’t leave any?

Tim: Uhhh, I think I left like three packs of Fruit Snacks

Dick: Okay, how many kids are in Damian’s class? Maybe they can split them?

Damian: I am not bringing fruit snacks to a school event. Have class, Grayson

Dick: Hey! Fruit Snacks are delicious and healthy!

Jason: Healthy? Fruit Snacks?

Dick: Yeah, the packaging says it uses real fruit and is 100% Vitamin C and 25% Vitamins A and E

Stephanie, whispering: There are vitamins called A and E? Is there a vitamin alphabet?

Damian: The fact that you have survived to adulthood is astounding

Bruce: We’re getting off topic. Who took the cupcakes? I won’t be mad

Stephanie: Why are you asking if you won’t be mad? Why do you need to know? Why’s it your business?

Bruce: I just want to know who’s brave enough to tell me the truth

Jason: We jump off of buildings and fight people who want us dead nightly, why are you questioning our bravery?

Tim: And slash or stupidity

Dick: Hang on, when did Alfred make cupcakes anyway? Hasn’t he been busy?

Bruce: Alfred didn’t make them, I made them.

Dick: You… made cupcakes?

Tim: Great, so all we have to do is see who dies of food poisoning within the next few hours and we have our culprit

Jason: I’m going to tell Alfred that Bruce used the kitchen again

Bruce: Hey! I followed a recipe this time and I barely took any creative liberties!

Dick: Barely? You barely took any “creative liberties”?

Damian: I believe the cupcakes going missing before this event was a blessing in disguise

Stephanie: Everyone shut up! I need to call my mom and tell her I love her

Bruce: So it was you!

Stephanie, gripping the counter: Not now, B, I’m having a crisis! *Gagging noises* I’m going to die! *Slowly loosens her grip on the counter and slinks down onto the floor, still gagging*

Bruce: Stephanie, you’ll be fine! The recipe had some good reviews

Dick: I’ll call Leslie!

Stephanie, from the kitchen floor: I SEE THE LIGHT!

Jason, running out: ALFRED!

Damian: Brown, you are looking at the ceiling light

Stephanie: God? That you?

————————————————

Update: I made a second part here if anyone wants to see!

[moghedien]

One like nitpick thing that drives me crazy is when people call Blue Whales the largest whales or the largest living mammals or some shit like that

Because yes that is true. But when you frame it like that you are completely disregarding the absolutely batshit reality that Blue Whales are the largest animals that have ever existed on earth through the entire history of the planet and they are alive right now today

[beardedmrbean]

[ikimaru]

was reminded of the anniversary so here's this pic from 2021 I never shared! :')

[background-character-341]

For all its faults Tumblr has truly ruined all other social media for me because my friends all have Instagram and are all trying to get me on Instagram more but every time I open Instagram there are like fifteen things screaming for my attention and when I get over myself long enough to start scrolling it's like. Where is my chronological dash. Where is the following-only option. Who are these people. Why are there so many videos. Everyone is screaming at me. And then before I know it I'm thirty minutes into scrolling and I haven't seen a single thing that I actually care about. At least on Tumblr when I see stuff I don't care about I know someone I follow has found a new interest.

[hppjmxrgosg]

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

[quikyureblogs]

I rarely draw myself so today I drew myself

[beardedmrbean]