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the name's Roland, and I may or may not have stuff wrong with me he/him • 29

[weenie-kun]

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

I hope I'm not just a mutual to you, but someone you want to bring up in irl conversation so you have to awkwardly and cryptically say "my friend..." and refuse to elaborate on my origins or the origins of our friendships

[carnival-phantasm]

[fantasmadelaciudad]

i'll be honest thinking about las vegas makes me nauseous.

[fantasmadelaciudad]

like this shouldnt be possible.

[sillyspirit]

Every part of Vegas feels like it's pulled out of fiction and is Incredibly off-putting. It's a major city in the middle of one of the world's most inhospitable deserts

Its famous for recreating other world landmarks on a small scale. It uses this as a trap to bait people into making life ruining decisions. It's motto is essentially "never speak of what happened here". Fucked up

[tygerbug]

This is the money Marge. Reblog for good fortune

[cleaverqueer]

petition to change LGBT to DFTQ (Dykes Faggots Trannies and Queers, naturally)

[cleaverqueer]

AMENDED

[cleaverqueer]

happy pride everyone

[ilovecoelacanths]

went to a new optometrist today wearing my squid facts ‘save our freaks’ shirt from @sarahmackattack that has a strawberry squid on it. and i wasn’t even thinking about it but the optometrist walked in and he was like ‘oh what does your shirt say’ so i showed him and he was like ‘oh that’s neat!’ and then i thought he might like to know about strawberry squid eyes since they have weird eyes and he is an optometrist and all. so i was like ‘yeah it’s actually a real kind of squid called a strawberry squid, their eyes are really cool because they have one big yellow-green one and one small blue one’ and he kind of gasped and went ‘oh my god that’s so interesting i wonder why they have that. do you know what their retina composition is like?’ and i watched as he minimized my chart on the computer and started looking up images of strawberry squid and then he googled ‘strawberry squid retina composition’ and he was like ‘sorry we’ll get to your eye exam in a moment i just really want to find out’ LMAO 10/10 optometrist experience will be returning

[sarahmackattack]

Hell yeah

[soychronicprocrastinator]

He’s in the right for that this is so cool

[analog-delight]

Do you think once Jimmy finishes eating the world he'll transition

[analog-delight]

funnier than me

[ranni-thewitch]

divert all power to the funk engine

[puppygirllaika]

a single, solitary, earth-shattering note thunders across the battlefield like a tsunami.

[moveslikekeithrichards]

labubu was meant to be hanging off a kindergartners backpack filthy as fuck with no eyes left

[moveslikekeithrichards]

labubu was meant to be hanging off a kindergartners backpack filthy as fuck with no eyes left

[retquits]

artistic rendition of how my cat fell asleep this morning

[cutecipher]

a cat is a sort of machine that dispenses hair all over you and everything else in the room

[iimnothereyet]

my little hair dispenser machine (her name is sweetie)

[everydaywomble]

"kill them with kindness" WRONG! the thing. ❄️🌨️🗻🗻🚁🚁🔫🐕🐾🐾🏘️🧍🧍🐕‍🦺🐶🧍🧍🏘️🚁🇳🇴💀🥀🧊🧊🚁🔪🛌🐕🏠🐕🐕🐕🛑🧠🫀🫁👁️🦴🦷🦠🔥🔥🧍🧍🔥🔥🎒🌨️❄️✋🧎✋🔥🧍🧍🔥🔥🔥🔥🚙🧍🧍🐕🪓🚁🪓📻📻🪓🩸🅰️🅾️🆎🅱️🩸🩸🕶️🔫🧑‍🔬🔥🔥💉❄️❄️👖❄️❄️🧨🧨🫀☠️💪💪👄🩸🩸🔥🔥🔥👤🕷️😧🔥🔥🪢🩸🧵🪡😎👍🌿😮🩸🩸🩸👁️🩸🩸🔥🔥🔥🕶️⚰️☠️🔥🧊❄️🌨️🛸🧨🧨🧨💀🧍🍾🧍

[thewinterwitcher]

@samplerbot a humble offering from me to you <3

i really loved your fish border original design, and i saw that the bot picked up our beloved heritage post, so i had to remix the two together. enjoy!!

pixel art border: samplerbot's creator

[feedyourdeadnametothevoidfish]

‘capitalism works’ factoid actually untrue. the 62 people who own half the world’s wealth are outliers and should be eaten.

[anarchistmemedistro]

62 8

[technofeudalism]

[g00burr]

Absolutely nuts how they made up a number for this satire post and the correction is that reality is *more absurd* than the number they chose

[anarchistmemedistro]

no i’m afraid it’s even worse than that. 62 was correct in 2016 when the original post was made.

[asmrgaret]

"you caught me unawares" more adjectives should end in plural. you caught me undecideds