✓Dark humour is your thing.
✓You have a playlist of sad songs to listen to whenever you want to be sad, and that's almost everyday.
✓A lot of childhood trauma.
✓You hide behind a fake personality when you're around others.
✓Your emotions are like an on/off switch. There's no in between. You either feel everything at once or feel nothing at all.
✓You're emotionally distant because you're scared of getting hurt or you're afraid that you will hurt others.
✓Despite being a victim, you have also been an abuser yourself.
✓Fascinated by the idea of suicide or anything else to do with death.
✓You push people away quite often.
✓You are a manipulator and you know it.
✓You've got a god complex but you have very low self esteem.
✓You're actually a very serious person deep down but no one would be able to tell because you're always joking around.
✓You like reading and use music as a way to drown out the thoughts.
✓You're super smart. You can get good grades if you wanted to but you just choose not to since you don't care much for it.
✓You are disconnected from reality.
✓You've got plenty of friends but you still feel very lonely.
1) You're a useless child by kikuo.
2) Miss wanna die by jubyphonic
3) Nowhere to run by stegosaurus rex
4) Burning pile by mother mother
6) I can't handle change by roar
8) Arms tonite by mother mother
9) Oh Ana by mother mother
10) Hayloft by mother mother
My advice to Dazai Kinnies :
You don't always have to put on a show for everyone. It's alright to not be bubbly and fun all the time. I know that you need constant validation from others even if you don't admit it, so it's okay. You're fine the way you are, there's nothing wrong with you. Stop seeking acceptance from others, all you need to do is accept yourself. You cannot keep pushing people away, they will get tired of it and leave eventually. It's alright to let your guard down sometimes. Cherish the people that truly understand you and keep up with you throughout your tantrums. You cannot be afraid of getting hurt all the time. It's a part of life just like there's darkness and light even sadness and happiness co-exist. You cannot cope by joking about it, you need to let it out sometimes. It's alright to be alone and take your time to recover. I know it's exhausting to keep up the bubbly charade around people. Also, from one dazai Kinnie to another, I'm glad that you're still here. There's more to living, I promise. You just need to find a reason to keep you going. Choose to stay, even if you have nothing left or if all you have is pain within you, you still have yourself, live for the music, the books, the way the sky looks different everyday, don't just exist, but truly live to the fullest, appreciate what it feels like to be alive at all. And maybe one day, you can be able to save someone like yourself.
