Death or something like it
(Disclaimer: These are only random thoughts and should not be taken seriously - or against anyone. If any of you find this post offensive or disturbing, it wasn't meant to be.)
My friend's mom passed away a couple of months ago and I felt so stupid for not knowing what to say - I mean there are all these things that people normally say, like "This too shall pass", "Be strong", "I'm sorry for your loss", and so on... but when it happens to someone you know personally, none of them just sounds right - everything just sounds "canned". I guess, nothing you can say or do at this time will make a difference anyway. If I was physically there with her I'd probably just be holding her hand or hugging her since I have no idea how to deal with losing a loved one. The closest I ever came to losing someone I really cared about was my aunt (father side where I got Kitchie's real name, Luisa). I loved her dearly but didn't really see her that much since she was in a different country but it still hurt when she passed away. Needless to say, I am clueless when it comes to dealing with the loss of a loved one.
So, in line with that, I have decided to make it easy for the people I will leave behind WHEN my time finally comes. Below are the things that I want done when I die. It's funny. Having the faith that I have, I grew up not really fearing death. For us, "to die is gain" so in a slightly twisted way, we kinda look forward to our deaths. Do I believe in life after death? Well, that's a different story altogether which I will write about another time but for now, here's what I want:
(Photo by: dontgiveupworld.com)
1. No wake. I only want one final service where my closest friends, relatives and acquaintances can bid me farewell. Absolutely no laying me out in a casket for the public to see. I will not be remembered cold and embalmed. I want people's memory of me to be when I was living and breathing.
2. No cards/bingo/alcohol/karaoke. Please. I know it's a common Filipino tradition that when there's a wake, your relatives and some other random people are outside drinking and gambling and singing on the karaoke but I will have none of that. That's why I am vehemently against wakes. So many unwanted things can happen and I want my final hurrah to be organized. On second thought, maybe I will allow karaoke. Hmmm...
3. No drama. I want my service to be a celebration of me and my life. I want people who knew me to get together and share anecdotes, whether good or bad. I am bossy and a prankster (and a lot more in between) so I know there will be stories of that going around but it's ok, I will not pull your leg with my cold, clammy ghost-hands if you say not-so-nice things about me. I don't even want to be a ghost anyway, so unless I die a violent death, you guys are safe.
4. AVP is a must. I want my audio-video presentation to be professionally done. I have scores of photos on FB, Twitter, Instagram, Multiply, Shutterfly that you can use. (Note to self: Give my login details to my sister, just in case). My funeral songs are also enumerated below so you won't have a hard time figuring out what I want played. It's a mix of my favorites and some really nice farewell songs to play so people will have lumps in their throats by the end of the service. I know, I said no drama but a few tears won't hurt. Remember, I died, right?
5. Games/Program. It's a fact that I love games so obviously there should be some during my service. (I wonder who my emcee will be? Must figure out). I'll come up with a few ice-breakers and getting-to-know-you games for the people who will attend and save it in my drafts. Like Jay-tionary or Jay Henyo or something like that! (Schweet!)
6. Souvenir. Almost all big events have souvenirs so my funeral should also have one, right? I want to be cremated then I will ask my sister to put tiny bits of ashes into little urn-like keychains for my friends. Isn't that sweet??? Now, I will ALWAYS be with you. ALWAYS. (Evil laughter)
7. Karaoke. I take it back. I will allow people to sing. It's a celebration of my life and everybody knows how I love songs and music and theatre so... sing on my behalf and be merry! Don't forget broadway show tunes!!!
Ok, that's it for now. I was going to add "food I want", "red carpet" and "black tie outfit" but I think that's going a little (?) overboard. I want everyone to be able to come so if I insist on a theme, they may not join so you can wear whatever you want. Come one, come all! Celebrate the life of the late (finally! haha) Jay Mate-Galang!
I pray we will all live happy, fulfilled and content lives. 'Til that day comes. Cheers!
SONGS TO BE PLAYED (WHICH I WILL PROBABLY STILL EDIT):
Lily Allen - Mr Blue Sky
Natasha Bedingfield - Happy
Wicked - For Good
Mindy Gledhill - This Is My Song
DC Talk - My Friend (So Long)
Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Moon River
Dream A Little Dream of Me
Sixpence None The Richer - Breathe
Jars of Clay - All My Tears
Jars of Clay - I'll Fly Away
Mercy Me - I Can Only Imagine
Jon McLaughlin - So Close
Kathy Troccoli - Goodbye For Now
Monk & Neagle - Dancing With The Angels
Alter Bridge - In Loving Memory
Train - Look To The Sky
Jimmy Eat World - Hear You Me
Fisher - I Will Love You
Silent World - Donna Lewis
Together Again - Janet Jackson
The Way You Look Tonight - Tony Bennett
Falling Slowly - From "Once"
OPM - Brighter Side (This is actually about someone who committed suicide, I believe, but I wanted something nice & perky on the list so this is staying)
EDIT: Adding my Spotify playlist of the songs above. 😂
