KaminaDuck

IT person, vocalist, NaNo writer, memorizer of scripts, clueless gamer, Twitch streamer, proficient in standing in stupid and eating pixels. He/Him Find me live at twitch.tv/kaminaduck

[catchymemes]

[makahitaki]

[aquilacalvitium]

[littlethingwithfeathers]

@kaminaduck

[kaminaduck]

I was waiting for the all-duck keycap keyboard. So I got myself twice.

[victusinveritas]

[littlethingwithfeathers]

@kaminaduck

[kaminaduck]

I had this customer. I think it was “Stank and White writing book”.

I did an audible blink, then took them right to that book.

I was both pleased and deeply disturbed that I could translate that request to Strunk and White.

[ege-egeblog]

Nooo🦆

[littlethingwithfeathers]

@kaminaduck

[kaminaduck]

Please let me in! I promise I’ll try to be good! Just let me have water with something in it

[somecunttookmyurl]

i can tell i’m sleep deprived bc i just made myself cry about tutankhamun and i have, like, negative interest in the kid

[somecunttookmyurl]

have now made the rest of the discord cry about this little boy who had multi-coloured ducks sewn onto a tunic that he loved so much he wore it to a Very Important Event because he was EIGHT and have you SEEN my DUCKS

[somecunttookmyurl]

sorry no i’m not done i’m gonna make you all cry some more i’m bringing you down with me

there was once a little boy.

he is born disabled. his body hurts, and he can’t walk properly the way the other children do. he doesn’t understand why. he’s a little boy. but he plays with wooden boats and pulls toys on a string.

somebody makes him a tunic. they sew ducks onto it in red and green and yellow and blue. the bright colours of a child.

the little boy is eight years old, and he’s going to be king now. there’s a big ceremony about it. he doesn’t really fully understand what’s going on, because he’s eight, but he wears the tunic with the brightly coloured ducks for the occasion because he loves it. look at his ducks! aren’t they great?

he is a child. the adults around him manipulate and coax him to gain more power for themselves. he still plays with toys.

as a teenager, not yet an adult, he fathers children. they do not survive. he’s not even old enough to have full agency in his job and is still being manipulated, but he had babies and they died.

he does not make it to his twenties. at eighteen or nineteen years old he dies, and is buried. his babies, so tiny, are buried with him.

and so is his tunic with the little ducks that he loved so much he kept it long after it no longer fit.

there was once a little boy.

[somecunttookmyurl]

yeah i think that like. especially with historical figures in your mind people who were kings and queens or important nobles were adults. even if you know how old they were it doesn’t really click. it doesn’t seem real

but then you get something like a little tunic with brightly coloured ducks on it and it hits you like a fucking truck that this really was a little kid and no matter how far removed you are a little kid is still a little kid. their brains didn’t develop any quicker back then. he was just as developed/mature mentally as any 8 year old now. he had cartoonish animals on his clothes and he played with toy boats and probably terrorised the local cat population.

tutankhamun was a child and he didn’t make it to adulthood because he was unfortunate enough to be a very important child

his dad died when he was 8. he saw his own babies die when he was still just a boy himself.

but he had brightly coloured little ducks on his favourite shirt, and he kept it.

[somecunttookmyurl]

and he did not just keep the duckie shirt either

tutankhamun had a little pair of sandals with ducks on them. he had earrings decorated with ducks. he kept those, and other items of childhood clothing. some toys. keepsakes. things he loved, and treasured. he kept them all in a little wooden chest. the chest… was carved with ducks.

and that little duck chest, filled with things he kept from his childhood, was buried with him. maybe he was keeping them for the little babies who did not make it. maybe they just reminded him of good days and fun times.

but he was a little boy who thought ducks were just the best

[somecunttookmyurl]

WITH PLEASURE

(greyscale makes it hard but the duck head is on the right above the toe strap. always takes me a while to find it too)

[beggars-opera]

[libriamore]

Ok but this is how to teach history. This is how you get people to pay attention, to care. Find something small and make it personal, then zoom out to the wider context. History is best taught as a story, with people who lived their lives in ways that came together to create something remarkable that we still talk about today, but who were still just human at the end of the day. They kissed, argued, cried, and dreamed just like we do. And sometimes they really liked ducks.

[littlethingwithfeathers]

@kaminaduck you’ve seen this right?

[kaminaduck]

@littlethingwithfeathers 😭😭 yeah

[markrosewater]

Are there any cards that portray ducks? I couldn’t find any. 🦆

It’s a playtest card, and not quite a duck:

[littlethingwithfeathers]

At DragonCon 2022 my husband, @kaminaduck who loves ducks, and I did a mystery booster draft. My first matchup had pulled this card and wasn't running it. I told him I would trade him anything I had on me for that card and he was kind enough to just give it to me. So I got to surprise my husband with it. He keeps it sleeved in his kit with all his tokens and sleeves as a good luck charm when we go to events.

I'm hoping for ducks in Bloomburrow, but most of all I would love to one day have a flamingo card.

[kaminaduck]

Let me tell you, the amount of dancing I did when @littlethingwithfeathers surprised me with this was comical. People were turning heads to see what happened. And it was just a guy dressed as Ted Lasso jumping for joy.

You know how someone has that one card that they sign when they meet people? This would be mine if I was a big enough MTG content creator.

But we also need a flamingo card.

[frogblast-the-ventcore]

The Contract

CONTRACT OF EMPLOYMENT

The following contract is made between and entered into by The Helldivers Division of the Super Earth Armed Forces (hereby referred to as "the Enlister") and the individual who has successfully completed their preliminary Helldiver training as set forth in Exhibit A of the Super Earth Armed Forces Recruitment and Retention Manual part 27/B-10264 (hereby referred to as "the Enlisted"). The following contract is entered into willingly, and the Enlisted confirms that they have authority to enter into such an agreement at this time, being of sound mind and body, of legal age, and of Citizenship Grade E or above.

1 SERVICES

1.1 The Enlisted shall perform the Services outlined in Appendix A in accordance with the operational directives identified by (i) Super Earth High Command (ii) the President of Super Earth (iii) the Democratic Council of Super Earth (iv) accredited employees of the Ministries of Super Earth (v) accredited representatives of the parties aforementioned in clauses 1.1.i - 1.1.v, (vi) accredited representatives of those representatives (hereby referred to as "the Authorized Command Structure"). The Authorized Command Structure may, at any point, with no prior notice, make amendments to the schedule of services outlined in Appendix A. A copy of Appendix A may, if required, be obtained by the Enlisted through contacting the relevant authorities in the SEAF Administrative Corps, with a hard copy of the Appendix to be delivered to the requesting Enlisted within 5-10 business years.

1.2 The Services performed by the Enlisted for the Enlister shall include, but are not limited to active combat operations (which may include, but shall not be limited to raids, deployments, invasions, sorties, forays, assaults, blitzes, incursions, onslaughts, liberations, razings, flattenings, and nukings), non-combat operations (which may include but shall not be limited to parades, interviews, signings and appearances, executions (both summary and otherwise), interplanetary transportation, including the escort of civilian or Democratic vessels, and any activities deemed necessary in the pursuit of the aims identified by (i) The Enlister, and (ii) The Authorized Command Structure. In order to enable full and complete enactment of these Services, the Enlisted is hereby authorized to employ lethal force, non-lethal force, non-lethal non-force, and lethal non-force, to be employed at the discretion of the Enlisted. The Enlisted may not subcontract in whole or in part any of the duties requested of them by the Enlister.

1.3 The Services shall be performed by the Enlisted at locations identified by (i) The Enlister (ii) The Authorized Command Structure. In order to enable the completion of the Services in an efficient and timely manner, the Enlisted will be entrusted with the command of a Class 6 "Super Destroyer" Series Crewed Interplanetary Combat Vessel (hereby referred to as "The Super Destroyer") Upon the Termination of the Contract of the Enlisted (refer to Section 5, TERMINATION), command of this Super Destroyer will be transferred to the next eligible Enlisted in the order designated by (i) the serving Ship Master, (ii) The Enlister, (iii) the Authorized Command Structure, (iv) Accredited representatives of the parties listed in clauses 1.3.i - 1.3.iii. The heirs, successors, and assigns of The Enlisted have no right, claim or interest in the ownership or command of the Super Destroyer. Should the actions of the Enlisted result in loss, damages, or impediments to the Super Destroyer, requiring ameliorative or restorative action, the cost of such repairs shall be subtracted from the Martyrdom Payment due to the heirs or successors of the Enlisted (refer to Section 2 COMPENSATION).

1.4 The Enlisted will be responsible for the purchasing, maintenance, replacement, and improvement of the equipment used for the provision of services. If the contract of the Enlisted is terminated due to the conditions outlined in Clause 5.1 (absence of pulse), the equipment purchased, maintained, replaced, and improved by the Enlisted shall stay with Destroyer, and shall be made available to the next Helldiver to command the vessel.

2 REMUNERATION

2.1 For the performance of the services outlined within the schedule set forth in Appendix A, the Helldiver shall receive monetary compensation for the services rendered. The compensation shall vary in line with the services performed. The Enlister reserves the right to, at any time and with no prior notice, make amendments to the schedule of payments.

2.2 The Enlister acknowledges that the position of the Enlisted ("Helldiver") is classified by the Super Earth Ministry of Employment as an "Exceptionally Patriotic Duty". Accordingly, upon commencement of the delivery of services, the immediate family members of the Enlisted (defined as parents, siblings, heirs, and successors) shall receive 4.5 citizenship points, to be allocated at the recipients’ discretion. This compensation shall be non-transferable, and may not be exchanged for a cash equivalent.

2.3 In the event of the non-continuation of the 'alive' status of the Enlisted in the course of the rendition of services, a Martyrdom Payment shall be made to the immediate family members of the Enlisted (defined as parents, siblings, heirs, and successors) minus any dispensations outlined in Section 1.3.

3 CONFIDENTIALITY AND CLASSIFIED MATERIALS

3.1 In the course of the rendition of services, the Enlisted is likely to become exposed to information of strategic importance (including but not limited to maps, mission briefings, internal procedural documentation, details of products, prices, and seasonal discounts). The Enlister and Enlisted agree that any and all privileged information (collectively "CLASSIFIED MATERIALS") viewed by the Enlisted (i) shall be maintained in the strictest secrecy by the Enlisted, with all reasonable efforts made to avoid the transfer, leakage, dissemination, publication, conveyance, and/or seepage of Classified Materials, and (ii) shall be provided in formats which are traceable to the Enlisted in the event of transfer, leakage, dissemination, publication, conveyance, and/or seepage. The Enlisted agrees to return any and all data, documents, directories, manuals, maps, and notes pertaining to “CLASSIFIED MATERIALS” upon (i) termination of this contract, (ii) request by the Enlister.

3.2 Any information made known to the Enlisted outside of operational parameters which is not considered customarily known to the general citizenry and/or which was not known to the Enlisted prior to the commencement of this agreement shall, for the purposes of clarity, be considered "CONTROLLED CLASSIFIED MATERIALS". For the access of "CONTROLLED CLASSIFIED MATERIALS" explicit, advance written consent must be obtained by the Enlisted.

3.3 To read these terms and conditions in full shall be considered a breach of Clause 3.2.

4 INDEMNIFICATION

4.1 Unless otherwise stated, the Enlisted shall be solely and exclusively responsible for any and all damages, harm, liability, loss, costs, expenses, craters, atrocities, and crimes (civil, uncivil, war) caused, created, or generated during the course of the rendition of services. The Enlisted hereby indemnifies (i) The Enlister, and (ii) the Authorized Command Structure, including but not limited to any employees, representatives, heirs, and successors against any costs, challenges, losses, damages, or expenses (without limitation) arising from or relating in any way to the rendition of services by the Enlisted.

4.2 Any damage sustained by the Enlisted, whether reputational or corporeal (including but not limited to incineration, evisceration, spinal separation, vaporization, crushing, freezing, burning, decapitation, paper cuts, explosion, contusion, removal of arms and/or limbs, addition of arms and/or limbs, dizziness, nausea, shortness of breath and/or death) shall not be considered the responsibility of the Enlister.

4.3 The Enlisted shall not hold the Enlister in whole or in part responsible for whether they return in whole or in part.

5 TERMINATION

This agreement will be governed by the laws of Super Earth, and shall be terminated in the event that:

(i) The Enlisted is mortally wounded, such that medical attention shall not be physically or financially justifiable.

(ii) The Enlisted expresses seditious, dangerous, or Traitorous thoughts, opinions, actions or sentiments.

(iii) By the Enlister, for any reason. Notice of the cause for termination is not required. The provisions of sections 1, 2, 3, 4, and 6 shall survive termination.

6 GENERAL PROVISIONS

6.1 The Enlisted consents to personal information (including but not limited to Biometric, Patriotic, and Demographic data) to be collected and processed by (i) the Enlister (ii) The Authorized Command Structure (iii) Appropriate agents of the Super Earth Armed Forces and Democratic Council.

6.2 The Enlisted consents to personal samples (including but not limited to flesh, bone, and blood) to be collected and processed by (i) the Enlister (ii) The Authorized Command Structure (iii) Appropriate agents of the Super Earth Armed Forces and Democratic Council.

6.3 The Enlisted provides unequivocal and irrevocable consent to the use of experimental weaponries, technologies, and narcotics.

6.4 The Contract shall be considered binding upon being read, in whole or in part.

(For the purpose of the elimination of doubt, the Enlisted spending 1 second within 15 meters of a copy of the contract shall be interpreted as the contract being read.)

[hedwyn-here]

Given how successful Helldivers 2 has been, you know there's already a producer out there somewhere eager to make an adaptation of it. But here's the thing, we don't need a Helldivers movie. We've already got Starship Troopers.

What we need, is a Helldivers 2 animated comedy, with the exact tone of the early seasons of Red vs Blue.

Give me a small crew of Helldivers who are complete idiots that somehow keep surviving by sheer luck.

[kaminaduck]

@littlethingwithfeathers

"No. I never EVER wonder why we're here. Managed Democracy, bitch."

[feyosha]

Computers are very simple you see we take the hearts of dead stars and we flatten them into crystal chips and then we etch tiny pathways using concentrated light into the dead star crystal chips and if we etch the pathways just so we can trick the crystals into doing our thinking for us hope this clears things up.

[feyosha]

How does it feel to be the most Galaxy Brained person in this entire thread

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Well that certainly belongs on the post

[littlethingwithfeathers]

@kaminaduck

[kaminaduck]

Weavers needed to knit the circuitry for NASA, just saying

[retrogamingblog2]

[littlethingwithfeathers]

@kaminaduck

[kaminaduck]

I love him

[schlarklezyaoi]

the fact that we only have “herculean task” and “sisyphean task” feels so limiting. so here’s a few more tasks for your repertoire

icarian task: when you have a task you know you’re going to fail at anyways, so why not have some fun with it before it all comes crashing down

cassandrean task: when you have to deal with people you KNOW won’t listen to you, despite having accurate information, and having to watch them fumble about when you told them the solution from the start (most often witnessed in customer service)

feel free to chime in i ran out of ideas much faster than i anticipated

[sherbertilluminated]

Promethean task: opposite of a Cassandraean task. You have the right information, and SOMEONE has to share it. But it's all in the delivery and if you're the person to identify the problem you WILL be hated forever.

[thearrogantemu]

Oedipal Task: (1) Attempting to avoid an unspeakably awful outcome and in doing so creating the circumstances that will bring it about. (2) Trying to solve an problem and discovering that you are in fact the problem you are trying to solve.

[theoppositeofprofound]

Odyssean task: you’ll complete it but it’ll take 20 times longer than it should and involve multiple side quests and mini-adventures

[lierdumoa]

Pandorean task: some people fucked around and now it's your job to make sure they find out

[a-book-of-creatures]

Atlasean task: you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders. You might as well be turned to stone.

Laelapsean task: you have no idea what the hell is going to happen in this ridiculously impossible situation. Everyone involved might as well be turned to stone.

Pygmalionean task: you objectify your imaginary loved ones to the point that it becomes an obsession. They might as well be made of stone.

Tiresiasean task: you hit a couple of snakes and accidentally your entire gender

[vague-humanoid]

[dancinbutterfly]

i cannot STRESS ENOUGH how much you should be pirating your favorite shit from streamers. Because this WILL happen. No, hey, look at me. It WILL. And when it does? Their media will be gone FOREVER. So make sure you have a copy of That Thing You Love at the very LEAST in your cloud but better yet on your portable HD or better still? Burned on a DVD (I dont have a DVD burner, I'm doing cloud and portable HD - I know I personally am getting a copy of the They Cloned Tyrone and Captain Laserhawk and Foundation and Raised By Wolves you fucking TRY to stop me). Because these things are not founded in sustainability. Unlike AMC and FX and even HBO? There's a possibility that there will not be anything to hold this up. So make sure you have copies of the thing you love okay babes?

[littlethingwithfeathers]

@kaminaduck

[kaminaduck]

It's time to sail the high seas once again.

[anarchopuppy]

Here's uBlock Origin's official guide to bypassing youtube's anti-adblock popups, updated weekly. Please share widely. Don't reward google for their predatory anti-consumer bullshit

To summarize: 1. Get uBlock Origin and make sure it's updated to the latest version. 2. Click on the gear icon to get to the dashboard, go to "Filter lists", and make sure that "uBlock filters - Quick fixes" is up to date

Repeat those steps any time you get another popup (google and uBlock are having an arms race right now so it might stop working at any moment), and if you have any more problems, read the reddit thread for troubleshooting advice

[prof-grace-aspen]

YouTube is now giving you a message that says "after 3 videos, you will be blocked" but I can confirm if you use this process that warning will go away!

[littlethingwithfeathers]

@kaminaduck

[anarchopuppy]

Here's uBlock Origin's official guide to bypassing youtube's anti-adblock popups, updated weekly. Please share widely. Don't reward google for their predatory anti-consumer bullshit

To summarize: 1. Get uBlock Origin and make sure it's updated to the latest version. 2. Click on the gear icon to get to the dashboard, go to "Filter lists", and make sure that "uBlock filters - Quick fixes" is up to date

Repeat those steps any time you get another popup (google and uBlock are having an arms race right now so it might stop working at any moment), and if you have any more problems, read the reddit thread for troubleshooting advice

[littlethingwithfeathers]

@kaminaduck

[only-tiktoks]

[crwatters]

The title "dollar tree diy" made me think this was a diy tutorial type video and not a sculptural masterpiece

[littlethingwithfeathers]

@kaminaduck

[kaminaduck]

[skylightsofmylife]

[thisnewdevilry]

... huh.

[breelandwalker]

EXACTLY.

[littlethingwithfeathers]

Paging @kaminaduck . Duck to the stage to be dragged. Duck to the stage for dragging please.

[kaminaduck]

Oh.

OHHHHH.

Ohhhhhhhhhh.

[agnesmontague]

so i just learned that after disney+ debuted disney shut down a huge chunk of its tv channels around the world such as disney channel and disney XD including the ones in south korea, so for old times’ sake i just spent a good hour or so watching channel shutdown compilations and 90% of these worldwide disney channels just…. got absolutely no sendoff whatsoever. many of them got their plug pulled right in the middle of a show without even waiting for the episode to finish airing and there was no ending jingle or even a voiced-over announcement, only a sudden cut to a soulless monotone blank screen with “this channel is no longer available.” like the stuff of childhood nightmares 

you’d think a company with such a family-friendly image would take the time to at least explain briefly to its very young audience that all their fave shows will be moving to another service or something, hell, at least do it for advertisements’ sake so that kids can pester their parents into buying disney+, but disney does not care about you and it does not care about your children and it will absolutely snatch the last shred of comfort from a kid’s hands if it means they don’t have to spend an extra $400 recording an ending announcement in different languages

and honestly i am just sitting here with my heart in my throat like. none of our current art is truly permanent, is it. we like to think that we have better documentation and archiving technology than generations past but all it really takes is for one megacompany to slap some copyright tape over its comic book villain safe and then toss that safe in the ocean for all it’s worth. youtube could potentially choose to do the same and simply wipe its entire site clean overnight. adobe decided to throw flash in the garbage and decades worth of internet content just…. disappeared from reach. i am begging every digital creator out there to backup your content to as many outlets as you possibly can. use different cloud services that aren’t owned by one company. use physical usb drives and hard drives. if programs you used to open your work become obsolete at least document what it was so it can be passed on and remembered by people who want to. jesus christ i need a drink

[littlethingwithfeathers]

@kaminaduck @hexmeridian

[kaminaduck]

Looks like I get to start downloading all of my previous LPs from YouTube and invest in more storage. Because nothing is permanent.

Hey, @hexmeridian , wanna share the tea from your dissertation about the archive you researched?

[buckingfaseball]

here's the story. i know expressvpn has been recommended in some 🏴‍☠️ how-to posts but it is not trustworthy. the parent company, kape technologies, not only used to distribute malate but has ties to multiple state surveillance agencies. and be careful where you look for info about good vpns, because kape technologies owns a bunch of "vpn review" sites too

[hiddensandtrap]

In case anyone can’t read the article for whatever reasons, the VPNs acquired are:

ExpressVPN

Private Internet Access

Zenmate

CyberGhost

And the VPN review sites they purchased are:

vpnMentor

Wizcase

So if you use any of those, time to look for other options.

[littlethingwithfeathers]

@kaminaduck

[kaminaduck]

I haven’t heard of any of these. The most prominent (and sponsoring lots of content creators) is NordVPN. It’s affordable, easy, and a trustworthy brand.