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leggywormy

It's end of May, yall know what that means

madrasaur

tender

penandinkprincess

3 pm: god, I'm EXHAUSTED. going to bed early for SURE.

midnight: I Have Literally Never Been More Awake And Alert

penandinkprincess

shane having multiple allergies but being able to eat things like dairy, potatoes, wheat, cabbage, carrots, fish, and beets just fine does make me laugh imagine ilya making SO many jokes about how shane was MEANT to marry a russian because so much russian food is safe for him

"who else would know how to cook you these things, hm?"

dryly: "literally anyone with internet access?"

"just me, correct 😌"

penandinkprincess

Ilya adds an "allergy safety" briefing to induction for new team members and staff. This is BEFORE Shane is even on the Centaurs mind.

Anyway, I'm just imagining Ilya with this meticulous presentation, codesigned with his mother-in-law the executive manager of his charity Yuna Hollander.

And once Shane IS at team events (between the outing and officially joining the Cens), Ilya lets them know WHY this is a big thing for him...

So the first Cens event Shane attends, he bears witness to an all-out ARGUMENT between like five of his future teammates over whether the cake has any airborne allergens that means it needs putting in the specially designated 'SHANE DO NOT GO HERE' area, or if it's just a problem if Shane ingests it...

Crucially, this argument started BEFORE he and Ilya arrived. Just the Cens standing there having this argument as Shane and Ilya walk into the room, overtaken by every emotion all at once that their team are being THIS accommodating before even OFFICIALLY meeting Shane.

i see this and raise you that ilya didn't actually tell them it was for shane specifically. they know that allergies are apparently Very Important to ilya so yeah, sure, buddy. maybe this is important to him in his family or something. whatever. doesn't matter. sure the peanut butter cookies can remain in a sealed container away from everything else. why not.

which means that shane arrives to this event to find five grown men arguing about whether this cake is A Bad Cake and needs to go to jail or not, and shane fully thinks he's having a stroke for a second. he knows all of those words but NOT in that order. and he's like ?? um?? and the guys fucking GRAB HIM and are like, "you are married to roz. you would know. he would want this cake to go in jail, right? it has hazelnuts in it." and shane is just "i don't even know what you're asking me." and gets the explanation that team events have sections for food and the main one is no common allergens and then there's "hey, if you're allergic, stay tf away" in another area, and it's just a team bit to call it jail now. so if someone forgets and is like, "this has lemon in it," they can get a verdict on jail or not jail.

and shane is?? oddly touched??? yeah, send the cake to jail for sure. :)

and significantly this means that still NO ONE ELSE knows about his allergies because he STILL DIDN'T TELL THEM. XD

belleandkurtbastian

It is very important that everyone know that after I tagged this with "MUST... RESIST... MIETTE... VOICE" and nothing else

Pen came into my DMs to call me out for it :P

...

So anyway, Luca is standing off to the side of this argument, and under his breath just says "You poison Miette? You poison Miette with the hazelnut?! OH! JAIL FOR CHOCOLATE CAKE! JAIL FOR CHOCOLATE CAKE FOR ONE THOUSAND YEARS!"

penandinkprincess

this fresh-faced 18 year old kid who was already bracing himself to have to explain his food allergies, yes they're serious, yes he's sure, no he can't have even a little, no it's fine he can bring his own food, only to find out he gets to not have to explain ANY of that AND he gets to have MULTIPLE safe options at every team event now

penandinkprincess

the main post is getting giant and has so many threads on it already, but the idea of the first time shane has a contact reaction being AFTER ILYA KNOWS ABOUT THE ALLERGIES AND HAS TRIED SO HARD TO KEEP HIS HOUSE SAFE

during the literal YEARS of not knowing he could potentially kill shane? NO

THE ALLERGIES WAITED UNTIL HE FELT SAFE

he had fries or something while he was out at a bar with the team and didn't think about it because he didn't order them and was just absentmindedly grazing from the plate that got shared, but he goes home to shane, kiss kiss, starting to strip, and then shane just *increasingly frequent pauses to try and clear his throat* *realization about what's happening*

and after the terror is over and shane has been treated and is okay again, ilya is just ??? fucking SERIOUSly??? years and years of lucky breaks and it's a few random fucking fries cooked in peanut oil that do it??? what the FUCK

penandinkprincess

GOD post-outing but pre-knowing about shane's allergies, the team just assumes oh?? the bar must have said something homophobic or something??? cap must have been the only one who heard it?? and they're now like well FUCK that place >:( and start refusing to go there, too.

only to find out later it's because ilya blames it for making his kisses deadly to boyfriends with peanut allergies

cloudabserk

boob pillow

penandinkprincess

on the topic of #shallergies I am now enamored with the idea of Shane deciding that he wants to do tolerance training so now every weekend Ilya drives him to the allergist’s office and watches him eat exactly one-fifth of a peanut under medical supervision. it is a very stressful experience for him. he’s pacing and biting his nails while Shane ingests his crumb and plays on his phone for an hour waiting for something to happen. It takes a month to work up to eating one single whole peanut and Ilya’s halfway to premature grey hair by the end of it. he begins to resent the jar of Training Peanuts with the passion of a thousand suns

first of all "Training Peanuts" made me fucking CACKLE

second of all, SO funny to imagine shane deciding to use the summer to start doing this so it won't have an impact on his performance if it goes badly (*ilya voice* and what about impact on your husband? no concern for this?), which means ilya's stress levels are flipping WILDLY over the course of the summer.

yay cottage with husband FUCK these fucking peanuts yay cottage with husband FUCK these fucking peanuts yay cottage with hu-

asteroidtroglodyte

I love how these are from an Unreality subreddit but to my eye they just read like regular Tumblr shitposts. Did we cross-pollinate or something

dramatic-dolphin

some of my favorites

fandom-geek

The 72-year-old British actor also had roles in shows including Merlin and Little Britain.

British actor Anthony Head, best known for his roles in TV shows including Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Ted Lasso, Merlin and Little Britain, has died at the age of 72. Head found international fame as Rupert Giles in hit supernatural teen show Buffy in the late 1990s. He went on to have a recurring role in sketch show Little Britain, play king Uther Pendragon in the BBC's Merlin, and appear as former football club owner Rupert Mannion in Ted Lasso. "He passed away peacefully of complications due to pneumonia, surrounded by his family," his daughters Emily and Daisy said. His daughters' statement said "it is with heavy hearts that we announce the death of our extraordinary father". They added: "It has been, and forever will be, an honour and a privilege to be his daughters, and to have witnessed firsthand the impact both he and his work have had on so many." They also said they knew "how dearly he will be missed by friends, colleagues and fans of the show he was in", adding that he "loved his job very much" and "always considered himself incredibly lucky". His family acknowledged that "his legacy will live on" and said they considered themselves "lucky" to have watched him doing what he loved throughout his career. Head's other credits included The Iron Lady, Persuasion, The Inbetweeners and Manchild.

RIP anthony head, you will be missed.

theroundbartable

The King is dead :(

not-a-smartass-just-a-nerd

also shout-out the art/props department for having a different apology video title every time someone got cancelled, it's these tiny details that make me want to kiss paul robalino on the mouth

kaijuerotica

at some point after shane joins the centaurs, ilya overhears shane refer to him as 'roz' in the locker room and his head JERKS up but he doesn't even have time to be confused because he can already tell by the look on shane's face that he was trying something out and it will NOT happen again

kaijuerotica

shane after hearing himself call his husband 'roz'

hutsonwoolyums

I like to think I’d be in the club with Ilya but really I’d be getting room service with Connors

ilyapasta

I have this headcanon that Ilya and Connors agreed on like a low key night in getting room service and watching Fast and the Furious but then Ilya saw Shane and the Kill Bill sirens started going off

And I’ve been there! You’re comfy cozy with your roommate like ready to order take out and binge Sex and the City but then your friend is like NO WE NEED TO GO DRINK IN PUBLIC AND I NEED TO GET FUCKED and my chill, lower libido ass is like okayyyyyy I guess we’re doing this now lmaoo

snail-mail-33

I have a hc that the raiders don't really like going out in Montreal much bc everyone hates them and no one will sleep with them which ig is somewhat supported by neither Ilya or Connors knowing what clubs to go to (Ilya for obvious reasons) and because Ilya was being Nightmare Landrygate Roz, the Raiders had been taking turns to room with Ilya. So the only reason they were even rooming together in the first place was because Connors always likes a chill one so obviously he signed up to be on Roz Watch for montreal — they could chill and watch a movie it would be great — and now the whole plan is fucked and Roz is staring in the mirror shirtless again and Marley help what do we do????