I am an archeologist. I specialize in a somewhat obscure but by no means boring or meaningless Neolithic culture in Germany.
It has a Wikipedia page. A well curated, surprisingly extensive Wiki page that encapsulates all the important information about the culture, including literature references for further research.
One day, we asked Chat GPT about this culture. W were curious which details it would get wrong.
ALL OF THEM, except for the fact that it's a culture in present day Germany.
It didn't even get the chronological time frame wrong and called it a celtic culture.
When we told it it's wrong, it came at us with made up literature sources. Literally made up. It took two well known German archeologist who weren't even active at the same time, added a year - both were already dead - and sold that as source.
And it LITERALLY would only have had to quote Wikipedia to get everything right.
THAT is how unbelievably shitty and wrong all those AIs are.
They are making shit up. They are not sourcing information, they're just slapping words together by their most like relative occurance.
Do not trust ChatGPT or any other so-called AI ever.
(Written in 1974, this is the very first slash fanfic ever published.)
“Shut up…we’re by no means setting a precedent.” He was quiet…and not merely because he was used to obeying that voice implicitly. He was being peeled, slowly, like a delicate fruit, in time to some far off pagan rhythm and he found his logical mind was swathed in a white mist of sensual well-being. Gentle hands spread warm oil slowly, in ever-widening circles over his chest. Tantalizingly, teasing fingers ran over each nipple, flicking the tip lightly. A slow, deliberate tongue reached out to each erect button. He shivered, then squirmed; surprising himself. A sleek, well-oiled torso slid over his chest down to his navel. Tiny shivers accompanied the soft nips at his abdomen. Warm oil was dribbled over lower areas; then a ravaging (?) finger made him glisten. Even his thighs were being massaged…the pressure was…delicious. Well-skilled hands made long, swooping strokes from his knee up the inside of his leg to the upper thighs. Now, he could not prevent this, any more than he could stop a solar eclipse…even if he’s really desired to. It had been building all these years…no one set of circumstances was the cause…now, it seemed it had been inevitable from the outset.
He felt a tightening as he contracted a little when pubic hair was brushed slightly. The weight on his legs and the sensuous stretching of the gliding above him made his pulse race. A strong pair of hands turned him onto his stomach. A river of heated oil etched a blazing trail down his spine; light, feathery fingers sent the trail into the very core of his being. His buttocks were being massaged…slowly at first; then the tempo gradually increased, until two hands were counter-rotating…each squeezing alternately. Then, abruptly, it stopped. “No!!…Do not stop!” he hissed.
The other smiled and then ran expert hands once more over the surface and then between the legs, spreading them effortlessly. Careful palms cradled a very sensitive area that had just been exposed. Then the area was being stroked as a tongue flicked. Swiftly, he was on his back again and a [?] head and darting tongue were busy. His eyes were tight shut, tears squeezing from the corners. A hand began to pump, as if to milk. He felt he’d go mad! He was being oiled again, his groin massaged, then gently stroked. A flush had crept from the base of his skull to his groin. He yearned, he ached; wished he never were. Weight was upon him and his legs invaded. A shock wave swept through him for a second, only to be replaced by pleasure; as an easy pressure gyrated smoothly, exquisitely within him. …vibration..teasingly delicious vibration. How uniquely wonderful…the feeling at the base..there.. A circle of thumb and forefinger was working, too,…pulling slowly up and squeezing. The rhythm increasing, the grip tightening. A stray finger, circling the tip, pressed. Fire! fire; lips on lips…depths..spirals..colours, tensing…reaching..climbing..flying..soaring..darkness that is light..the explosion..the NOVA. Tomorrow..tomorrow will tell…Sleep. “Sleep.”
People who say that Benítez's election was a Deus ex Machina (which it wasn't because his last minute presence at the Conclave, his courage and love of God's creation, symbolised by the turtles, make it obvious that he is the best man out of all those in the run, and this is established very early on in the movie) do not understand that Cardinals choosing a new Pope are meant to be moved by the Holy Spirit. That is what Thomas feels when he looks up at the open blasted window and hears the birds outside. In the context of the movie, Vincent Benitez *is* the Holy Spirit's choice, he is the divinely inspired choice - therefore, a part of this "choice" would never be fully rational. Most of them didn't sit down before that last voting session and planned to vote for Benítez. It happened, it came to them through the intervention of the Holy Ghost. His choice would always be part of the mystery that Thomas references in his homily.
this is sending me bc imagine being the bishop in charge of monitoring social media and you have to go report to the chronically offline Lawrence that ppl on twitter are saying they want to get the new Holy Father pregnant
this is sending me bc imagine being the bishop in charge of monitoring social media and you have to go report to the chronically offline Lawrence that ppl on twitter are saying they want to get the new Holy Father pregnant
having taught preschool for a long time one of the (many) things that always bothered me about conservative values is the rallying cry of "protecting the children". in my experience in the classroom, these parents often present with a strange dichotomy of "fear-of-the-hypothetical-sexual" versus their casual and comfortable acceptance of real violence.
you will listen to a parent merrily tell you: oh i think spanking is the way to go. sometimes they will even suggest you, the teacher, spank the kid if this infant misbehaves - it makes the hair on your neck stand up. you, meanwhile, have never needed to injure a child to control a classroom of 30 of them.
this is very often the same parent who is mortified about the body. they can handle their child's mortification, but not their own. simple, basic-use plain language for genitals is abhorrent to them. "that dog has a penis" - a neutral statement, just a child making an observation like any other - is usually punished or treated as a swear word. the child (particularly a girl child) is taught to refer to their own body in objectification: "my cookie" "my button" "my ding-dong" or other obfuscations.
this is, according to many conservatives, an effort to "protect the innocence" of children. the implication here is that even an acknowledgement of body parts is tantamount to pornographic depictions of sex. (it additionally implies, of course, that sex or any age-appropriate acknowledgement of sex cannot be innocent or without sin - but we will leave that discussion for a different post). teachers, however, on our ever-dissolving islands of sanity, want you to know that plain language can protect children, as it gives them the ability to discuss their own bodies (and potentially any abuse).
it will not surprise you these fearful parents are very often the same parents who are wild-eyed about the acknowledgement of gay or trans individuals. not even in an in-depth discussion - we aren't allowed to mention that nonbinary people exist.
the parent often wails at me. they cannot conceptualize having that conversation with the child. how will they tell their kid about gay people! any discussion on this matter will encourage their child to be depraved, lose their innocence, "turn gay" or somehow otherwise perverted.
any teacher here will roll their eyes. kids don't actually care, unless you make them care. i wish we could make them care - that there was some magic switch to flip where i could force them to have the same passion for math as they have for pokemon. children do not have the same shame parents have until you teach them to.
the conversations these parents fear so much are incredibly, painfully easy. you say, "yeah, some people have two dads, or a stepdad and another dad. some people have two moms. some people have a mom only. families can look very different, but what's important is that you're loved and safe."
you say, "yes, that is a vagina. yes, that is a penis. yes, a penis like on your dog. let's leave our clothes on during school, please, we've talked about this."
you say, "thank you for telling us your daddy used to be a girl. that's very special. however, we're talking about math right now."
(i've spoken about this before, but i do believe a large portion of the "protect the children" fear stems from the fact many conservatives see queerness as being solely about sex. while sex is an inherent, important part of our lives; we should be able to talk about our partners with the same neutrality as straight people do. it is so normalized for straight couples to say that they're trying for a baby - to actively admit to raw sex - but a gay person admitting to even having a partner can be very politically or professionally dangerous. and all of us have, at some point, probably met the stranger who says how does that even work about our bodies or sex, as if we owe them a dictionary on our experiences).
we have people in powerful positions in the government defending a parent's right to actively strike an (innocent) child, but horrified by their child being exposed to gay people. in certain states, parents are given almost complete free reign to abuse their child at home. often these are the same states with some of the strictest rules against sex education or queer expression. (we don't have time for the gun conversation, but you can fill in the blanks).
one phrase always ends up haunting me - when a parent defends their right to hurt their child with i lived through it and i'm just fine. isn't the point of being a parent to protect our kids from what we experienced? isn't the point to do better than the generation before us? why even have a child if you're not going to show them a better life than the one you lived?
i don't know. i was hit quite a lot. i was raised in a very strict catholic house. i don't think the hitting ever taught me anything except to lie and hide and sneak around. i was raised thinking gay was a bad word.
i still turned out like this - a person who wants to actually protect the innocent.
The curious case of Adeyemi's (missing) watch in Conclave (2024)
the longer watch friend and I think on it, the more it blows our minds how intentional the costumers were wrt to the friggin watches in this movie. If you're interested in watch meta for Lawrence, Benitez, Bellini, Tremblay and Tedesco, I have linked the previous posts :D
This post is about Adeyemi's watch and what it means.
To do that, we've to highlight the different shorthands the watches have throughout the movie because despite like 100 close-ups of hands in Conclave, only six characters are depicted with watches.
Only the serious contenders for the papacy.
Before the conclave starts, watches are windows to a Character
they are quick snapshots of who a character is, or their current state of mind.
Tremblay and Tedesco: Watches with black dials, signalling their roles as antagonists;
Bellini and Lawrence: White dials. more on Bellini later.
Benitez: Digital watch face, neutral unknown
Two characters stand out because of how plainly the camera shows us their watches:
Benitez's Casio in his first full-profile shot, and
Lawrence's Orient in the emotionally vulnerable bathroom scene
– and then how completely those watches disappear once the conclave begins, which leads into the second role the watches play once the conclave begins.
x
Watches as Signals of Ambition
Because Benitez and Lawrence lack any desire to be pope, the watches are gone. Even in settings which you'd expect to see them, like the bedroom.
What's the point?
Well, Adeyemi's Watch.
We see glimpses of it when he was still in the running for the papacy.
But that's all we get. Glimpses. His watch cannot be identified.
It can't be an accident, since the movie has been so deliberate about who wears the watches.
Rather, the camera refuses more details on Adeyemi's watch because there's nothing more about him we needed to know.
He didn't need to prove himself. He was the 'natural' successor. He led the votes in the first three ballots. He's the closest thing to a shoo-in candidate.
When Lawrence comes to confront him, he is still wearing his watch. After Adeyemi realises he's lost his chance however, he's stripped of his watch by the next vote.
To hammer the point home, the camera shows us the individual candidates following the results of the next ballot.
Adeyemi sits with his hands tucked under the table.
Tremblay (as the new frontrunner) has a watch, but we don't get to see it fully
Bellini and Tedesco's watches are full-faced, out in the open.
They are still actively chasing the papacy
Lawrence, on the other hand, genuinely doesn't want it, so his hands are firmly under the table.
Bellini
The same happens with Tremblay's watch when he's outed for simony. More interesting to note is the one time Bellini loses his watch; when Lawrence shares the report with him.
True, he was in his nightgown. It doesn't make sense for him to be wearing a watch. But he'd also given up on his own candidacy because he'd bought into the idea of a Tremblay papacy.
After Tremblay is out of the running, look who's wearing a watch again!
Lawrence
Most telling of all is Lawrence's watch. The only time it appears after the conclave begins is – you guessed it – WHEN HE VOTES FOR HIMSELF.
And Benitez?
Even during his game-changing monologue, his watch was hidden. We only see it after that in the final voting scene.
Benitez might not have wanted the papacy but he'd grasped the situation. He knew what direction he'd steer the Mother Church if he were elected. His watch is symbolic proof of his conviction and visual proof of his character.
In short, the watches show up when the candidates need to prove themselves worthy of being the next pope.
And they lose their watches when they are no longer eligible.
Going back to Adeyemi, when he realises he's lost his chance, Lawrence places his hand over Adeyemi's wrist when praying for him, covering where his watch would be.
Adeyemi's watch makes its last appearance when Tremblay is outed; his hope rearing its head. But he also realises he doesn't stand a viable chance.
When Benitez is elected, Adeyemi claps in resignation without a watch.
Tremblay's hands are beneath the table. The camera lingers only on the crack in his glasses.
Bellini's Seiko Dolce is there in its full tank face glory. He was never 'disqualified' from the race. Should there be another conclave in his lifetime, he might run again.
Tedesco's Oris out and in even fuller, naked display. He hadn't been 'disqualified' either. He could and would run if he's alive for the next conclave.
x
After the conclave
In the Room of Tears, Benitez holds Lawrence's hands. Benitez wears no watch. There's nothing more we need to know.
We already understand who he is and why he deserves to be Pope.
I've created a list of 100 commonly-assigned texts (at least in the USA), based both on my own experience and what I've heard from friends. I included a mixture of stuff assigned in middle school, high school, and college. Spin the wheel here and answer:
Were you assigned this text?
yes, I read this for school
I was assigned this text but didn't read it
I've read this, but not for school
I've heard of this but haven't read it
I haven't even heard of this text
Voting ended onFeb 18, 2025
Bonus: tell us what you thought in the tags!
Use your discretion for texts you started but didn't finish for whether you count it as "read" or not.
An illustration of Knocking Boots by emcapi on ao3. This is the beginning scene, and I changed the sexy stuff to purring and aggressive cuddling so tumblr won’t light me on fire. This is from before my massive art block! Good times…
The final FTH 2024 project I did! There's like 30 different ways this could go in my head, hard to pin down any one idea, but anyway very fun!
Thanks to everyone who got a project from me, super grateful for the patience that everyone had!
LOVE the fact that fett just looks forlornly at beviin when he doesn't know what to do in a social/emotional interaction, and that apparently this is a regular occurrence.
like POV: you are a citizen of mandalore watching your supreme commander and his second-in-command handle a complex social situation like
