The Glass Turtle ~ Part Two
An Angsty Crows Christmas Fic
TW: Angst, Sickness, Mentions of Death
ââ Indicates change in pov
Credit to @emmaannaelisabeth for the wonderful characters of the Crowsâ children. Thank you for letting me use them. <33
âI knowâŚâ Matthias trails off, how to explain this to a child? âI know the snow and ice can be unforgiving, but it isnât entirely bad. You know that, donât you?â
Jordie nods and Matthias continues, âWould you like to hear a story?â
Matthias isnât sure how to speak with him, but a child of Kaz and Inejâs is smart, and Jordie is a sweet child. His heart warms as he sees Jordieâs eyes light up and nod eagerly, âOh yes please!â
âWhen I was a child, near your age, I was given a crystal, it was beautiful, it looked like the most beautiful shard of ice that could never melt. I was told to treat it with care and for hours I did. But my sister bumped into me and I ended up dropping it, the point shattered when it hit the floor.â
âI was so upset, at my sister, at myself. I yelled at her and she ran, much like you did. When my father went out to search for her, I still hadnât cared. He brought her home, half-frozen and weaker than Iâd ever seen her,â Matthias shakes his head, even now the guilt weighs heavy, âShe had always loved to sew, her fingers were slender and lovely, but when I caught sight of them, they were black. My father had brought the doctor to see her, it was frostbite, she lost most of her fingers.â
âThis is a very sad story.â
âIt was,â He nods. âFor a long time she could not find happiness and I carried the guilt with me, but a year later, I was forgiven, but better than that, she found something new she could do, even without her fingers. She learned to paint, she couldnât hold a brush, but with her hands on the canvas she was able to create the most beautiful pictures Iâd ever seen.â
âWhy have I never heard of her before, Uncle Matt? She sounds nice.â
âThatâs a story for another time, Lille Demjin.â Matthias smiles warmly and ruffles Jordieâs hair.
âDonât let the guilt of the past weigh you down, you are young, you must move forward. Do not hold on to the sadness. Do you understand?â
âGood. Now you get some rest, itâll be Christmas in the morning and you have so many presents to open.â The boy shivers and Matthias pulls the covers higher over his shoulders, but the room isnât cold.
âGoodnight Uncle Matt, thank you for the story,â He pauses for a moment, âIâd like to meet your sister someday, thereâs always room for more Aunties! And tell Lindie I say hi, please.â
âI will.â Matthias smiles and shuts the door behind him, Jordie will never meet his sister. She had died only two years after she lost her fingers, her last painting left unfinished, a pocket-sized portrait of Matthias- The only worldly possession he ever truly misses. Her death, even to this day, has left him learning the same lesson he hopes he taught Jordie. Guilt is a weight, itâll drown you if it can.
Kaz had insisted that Inej needed rest, he would watch Jordie as he slept. She did her best to sleep, but it was restless, filled with the fear of losing her child.
Now she wakes with a start, Wylan is shaking her awake, she fights the urge to yank his hand off of her, I am safe, he is not here to hurt me. She takes a deep breath before she meets his eyes, even in the dark, and the concern rushes in.
Melinda is scared, one moment sheâd left the room with her Dads to go check on her friend, and the next JJ had woken up and couldnât stop coughing. Sheâd run back to get her Da and moments later heâd left to get Inej with a worried look painted across his face.
She doesnât get too close as the adults come into the room, encircling Jordie, theyâll take care of him. Jesper leaves from beside JJ to make space for Inej, walking over to stand beside Melinda.
âDa? Will he be alright?â She swears she sees a flash of fear in his grey eyes, but before she can think on it, he wraps her in his arms, maybe everything will be okay, she hugs him back.
Tears threaten to spill over, sheâs trying so hard to be mature, sheâs ten years old now, she needs to be a good example for JJ. But her best friend in the whole world is sick and everyone keeps looking at each other all weird, and thereâs something they arenât telling her and it makes her want to cry. So she does, she cries until Wylan stops talking and hugs her tightly and ruffles her ruddy gold hair until he convinces her itâll all be okay. She just wants her friend to be better.
She isnât allowed too close to his bedside, everyone is worried that sheâll catch whatever cold he has. He might be dying- Ghezen, donât think of that. But she does, he might be dying and I canât even hug him. He looks so tired.
She resorts to reading him a book from across the room, though sheâs not sure he can hear her, heâs somewhere between sleep and being awake. The book is about an adventure, through forests and mountains, two best friends go in search of a treasure, fighting warlocks and dragons.
âLindie?â Jordie croaks out, he sounds like Uncle Kaz.
âYeah?â She stops reading.
âPromise me something. One day, you and I go on an adventure. I wanna meet a dragon.â
She nods, âI promise.â She thinks for a second, âWhat if heâs evil?â
âHeâs probably just hangry, Iâll give him one of Auntie Ninnyâs waffles.â
Melinda nods sagely before they both burst out laughing.
Nina feels helpless and the disappointed looks Kaz keeps giving her donât help, he must think she doesnât see it, but she knows. It hurts, but itâs no worse than what she already feels, the disappointment she already feels for herself, the guilt. All she wants is to help Jordie, but she cannot hear his heartbeat as she once wouldâve been able to, all she feels is Death, creeping into the room, waiting to claim the child, he doesnât deserve this.
Itâs late at night before she makes her way into the kitchen, unable to sleep. Unsurprisingly, no one else has been able to either. Kaz and Inej sit at the table, both staring out into nothing, Jesper is sitting on the counter, hugging Wylan as he stands between his legs, his face pressed against Jesperâs chest. Only Matthias had been able to sleep, and even then heâs been mumbling things.
âMind if I join you?â Her voice feels small in the heavy silence that blankets them all, any traces of hope are gone. No one acknowledges her fully, Inej sort of nods and Nina plops down in a chair, at least she can worry in the company of everyone else.
Itâs even later in the night before she asks to speak with Kaz after Inej finally made her way to bed and after Jesper and Wylan did too.
âHe isnât getting any better,â How is she meant to say this?
âObviously.â Kazâs glares, she tries not to take it to heart.
âI can help him, Kaz.â She knows he understands fully and the look he gives her confirms her suspicion.
âNo, Zenik, you cannot.â He looks down, but thereâs no mistaking it.
âBrekker, give it to me, and maybe I can have a chance to save him,â Tears well in Ninaâs eyes, âYou and I both know this is our only option, Death hangs in the air, itâs waiting for the first moment of weakness from him.â
Kaz sighs, running a hand through that haircut of his, Nina knows itâs a hard decision, but she knows what heâll say.
âI donât have any.â
Defeat is apparent in his posture, only the possible death of his son would make Kaz Brekker lie down like this, âDo you really think you could save him? Even after the change?â
Nina raises her chin, âIâd rather know I did my damned best than give up and just let him die.â
If only Eskil were here, if only he and Ava hadnât taken the twins and gone to visit Avaâs grandparents, if only he werenât in Ravka, if only he could save Jordie, if only⌠She pushes the âwhat ifâs awayâ thereâs not time for them now.
âHow much parem will you need?â
