@theartofmadeline
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
will byers stan first human second
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Stranger Things
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
if i look back, i am lost
Jules of Nature
Discoholic 🪩
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Today's Document
tannertan36
Sade Olutola
YOU ARE THE REASON
Not today Justin
dirt enthusiast
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Peter Solarz
JVL
Andulka
seen from United States
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@kiana996
Lil nas x coming back during pride month to tell us hes been taking care of his physical and mental health, finishing rehab and getting treatment for bipolar disorder, and telling us that he is excited to not only make new music but also just to live his life???? And during mens mental health awareness month????? Oh i missed him bad
Somebody in a Twitch stream chat was trying to insult a streamer by saying, "You're almost 40, and you've only gotten a tarot card reading once?" And I don't know, I'm still amused by this. I'm in my late 20s and I've also only had a tarot card reading once. One of those ones on the street you pay for. The guy doing my tarot card reading was like, "You're going to join the military," or something like that, and 15 year old me thought to myself, "Okay, well that's not true. So I guess I just got scammed," and then I just never got a tarot card reading since then.
Military recruiter who pretends to be a tarot card reader so he can tell every person who gets their future read by him and they'll be joining the military in the future.
(military recruiter tarot card reader in august of 2001) *draws The Tower* *draws a second The Tower* now that's not supposed to happen
Nearly cried in the grocery store, but like, good thing:
Giant makes a gluten free corn & rice pasta. It’s not organic, so it’s not the *best* for my MCAS, but like…
I could make a farmer’s cheese that looks/tastes a little like ricotta.
I can use cranberries to substitute for tomatoes and make a meat sauce with ground pork.
And then, I can have them both with pasta. 🥹
Holy fucking shit, this is a blast from the past.
Better news:
I can have alliums *and* bell peppers.
I can have both regular *and* powdered milk.
I can even have a little citric acid occasionally!
Homemade farmer’s cheese and a pork based meat sauce are so much better these days. :’)
someone from 1997 wished me good luck. it’s like someone from so many years back knows your struggles and i just, i think i’m gonna cry
reblogging for luck from friend in 1997
Reminder that when your therapist glances at the clock, it’s usually to gauge whether there’s enough time to explore a heavier topic or to ensure your session ends not too abruptly. It doesn’t mean they’re tired of you or counting down the minutes until you go. They are planning how best to spend the rest of your session so you leave feeling satisfied with what you spoke about and safe enough to be on your own.
It’s you therapist’s job to be interested in what you have to say and make you feel better during your sessions.
I can’t remember if I told you guys this but my grandpa paid a guy to put up a rock retaining wall in the backyard when my grandparents moved into their house in 1966. They live at the bottom of a mountain. The wall finally collapsed this year and my grandfather with dementia was PISSED OFFFFFF and he wanted so badly to call the guy who did it and chew him out for doing a bad job. My grandma is trying to explain that the wall lasted 60 years and the guy who did the work is probably dead and it TURNS OUT HE IS STILL ALIVE. Now we’re worried grandpa is going to get through to him (small town) and we’re going to see two 85 year old men come to blows over a rock wall that has been there since the mid-60s. My grandpa is a scrapper, he’s been to jail over a bar fight, the possibility that he WOULD fight this guy is high.
To top it off? The stone mason is the only person in town with one arm so grandpa would definitely recognize him if he saw him. If that is your grandpa, please protect him from my grandpa.
Actually what is the expected lifespan of a stone wall? I grew up in New England
I don’t know. They could last indefinitely in perfect conditions on flat land. Like I said, they’re at the bottom of a mountain in Appalachia and this wall has held back 60 years of snow melt and ground shifting and it has survived countless major weather events. In my opinion it is very good work and I think 60 is a good run for a rock retaining wall. The problem is that grandpa feels like the wall was put up recently so he thinks it is shitty craftsmanship. He’s mad because he can’t quite grasp that this wall has done its job for 60 years. Dementia is a terrible disease but if you don’t laugh you’ll cry and grandpa’s righteous indignation at this man’s work is kinda hilarious.
The tumblr experience is having politics that make the most left leaning progressive you know irl blush and then logging on here and getting called a bootlicker fascist because you said that you dont think we should make the reign of terror happen again
Me irl: the problem isnt taxes, youre thinking too small. The problem is that the federal government isnt taxing the right people the right amount. Theyre taking all our extra cash in our measly little wealth bracket and letting the billionaires hang on to more money than they can ever spend in a lifetime. The only way anybody gets a single billion is either through exploitation or inheriting it from someone else who did the exploitation, nobody who has that kind of money earned it legitimately. Not only do we need to strip that back into social safety nets for those of us theyre bleeding dry instead, but they need to establish hard laws and regulations to prevent that kind of exploitation from happening in the first place!
My coworkers: man, youre a real red-card commie, aren't you? You gonna start telling us to vote NDP and that healtcare isnt a scam too? Jesus christ go give someone else your goddamn revolution pamphlets, lenin.
Me on tumblr: while i appreciate the animosity towards billionaires, i dont think literally dragging a guillotine into the streets and beheading people as a public spectacle is going to actually solve the problems inherent in the system considering the french already tried that and it didnt work out well for them. Also i dont think anybody has the right to decide who lives and who dies, im pretty anti death penalt-
Tumblr users: how does that boot taste, fascist?
i need everyone to get into college football right now i am dying to talk about the texas tech situation. this is the kind of thing that will be referenced for the next 100 years. there will be documentaries and biopics about this.
no one asked but here
texas tech's quartback, brendan sorsby, was investigated for sports gambling. i know sports betting is all the rage right now, but athletes themselves are not allowed to do it. it is Rule Number 1 and it is the highest priority rule for the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA), who governs all athletic programs at about 1,100 colleges in the US.
the invesitagetion of sorsby revealed that, not only did he place more than 9,000 sports bets when he himself was a collegiate athlete, but 40 of those bets were AGAINST HIS OWN TEAM when he was playing at indiana university. immediately, this threatens the integrity of the sport, and especially because indiana is the hottest team right now as the defending national champion.
the NCAA, which is largely a sham organization these days (they've truly lost their grasp and college athletics are the wild west now) actually enforced their Number 1 Rule and told sorsby his career is over, that he would never play college football again (and, subsequently, that he would never get drafted into the NFL because his college career was cut short).
well, because the NCAA is a husk of its former self, sorsby and texad tech immediately took this to court. MANY athletes have learned these past few seasons that if you can find a judge who's a fan of your team, you can get any NCAA ruling overturned. that's exactly what texas tech did. they filed a suit in Lubbock, where the university is located and where every judge is an alum of texas tech. so sorsby was granted an injunction and will now only be suspended for the first 2 games od the 2026 season (which are alwayd against no-name teams that will be destroyed regardless of who's suspended).
every other school in the country immediately went on the defensive because this is a very clear integretiy issue. so nebraska and georgia (sic em dawgs) released statements saying that all currently-scheduled competitions witb Texas Tech in ANY sport will be canceled and there will be no future schedulings. at least 3 of the major conferences (SEC, Big 10, Big 12) , who account for almost all division 1 sports teams in the country, are also in discussions about cancelling comtests. Texas Tech is part of the Big 12, and there is serious talk of all other teams in the conference shutting texas tech out.
now would probably be time where i say that texas tech is one of the wealthiest programs in college football becaise there is a single billionaire alumnus pouring money into the program with hopes of essentially buying a championship. so texas techs integrity has always been questionable. anyway, the university president put oit a statement that he doesnt care that sorseby violated regulation and that texas tech will sue any school that refuses to play them because it jeopardizes their championship prospects if they're umable to play any games.
this is all just startomg but its so juicy and delicious. the NCAA is going to crumble to dust if they cannot get this injunction overturned. schools like georgia and nebraska have plenty of money so a suit isnt necessarily a concern, but this will absolutely change college football forever. i cant stop reading about it.
update on this: texas tech is claiming that every school who has/is considering cancelling all contests is "afraid" that texas tech is better than them. what's funny about this is that sorsby's stats are average. he is not good enough for this kind of protection. many schools who have already cancelled or are considering it have much better quarterbacks than sorsby. also, texas tech's head coach had said that it's actually ok that sorsby bet against his own team because it "its not murder or assault."
the attorney general of texas has threatened to investigate the Big 12 conference if they sanction Texas Tech
the claim is now that texas texh university just cares so much about brendan sorsbys mental health that they have to sue everyone who calls this an integrity violation. any other school who wouldnt defend an athlete that committed this violation "doesnt care about mental health"
demonic possession is a decent trope but you know what's even better? demonic cohabitation. just 2 people sharing the same body and both being the world's worst roommate about it.
the demon sharing a body with me: *looking at my depression meal in horror* we... are NOT eating that
me: oh so you can eat the souls of the innocent but you're too good for leftover spaghetti huh
*fights the demon living in my body over whose turn it is to answer the phone*
@funnier-as-a-system
A German regional court has ruled that Google is directly liable for the content of its AI search overviews. According to the court, previou
Let’s fucking go
This is HUGE.
1. The court holds Google responsible for statements made by its AI, considering them Google's statements (search engines have limited liability for results in their engine as they're the words of other sites/companies/people), meaning when their AI lies/hallucinates they're liable for the defamation/harm resulting from those statements.
2. Google's defense that customers are generally aware of the lack of reliability and are responsible for fact checking was dismissed. As the court pointed out, that would "significantly diminish" AI Search's stated purpose and it can't be distinguished from Google's business practices/statements as a search tool.
3. Studies have found about 91% of Google's everyday AI responses are accurate, leaving millions of searches per HOUR with potential liability for falsehoods. 56% of correct responses weren't supported by the sources the AI listed. Both of which mean Google is now liable for a LOT more AI "errors."
4. Google was held liable for 80% of court costs in this case and this precedent is expected to reverberate around the world. This is a massive shift from the 3rd-party search provider role Google has previously played and it comes right as they've tied ALL searches to their AI search.
TL;DR Google reeeeeally stepped in it this time.
So the tire-eating potholes in my neighborhood finally killed both my rear tires and I had to get that dealt with, but while they were getting replaced, I put the dogs in puppy daycare and upon picking them up early, the attendant literally sprinted to the front desk, grabbed me by the shoulders and breathlessly exclaimed "YOUNEEDTOCOMESEEWHATYOURDOGSAREDOING"
While she escorted me back to the play yards, she explained that every time they have more than three Corgi, they have to put all the Corgs in a separate play yard because they turn into a little gang and bully the Very Large dogs by playing Cow Herding Simulator 5000 with them, and especially if Herschel is there, because corgis are bossy-pants dogs, and Herschel has the bossiest pants of them all and acts as leader.
Despite being a little Don Corgleone to the short bitch mafia, Hershcel is also a Huge Baby and will apparently cry and cry and try to climb the fence and cry and eat people's shoelaces and cry if he is separated from Charlie during playtime, so this means any time that "Corgi Party" is happening, Charlie also has to go to Corgi party, despite being full-height, running cat software and a senior citizen. he copes with being Gulliver amongst the Liliputians by climbing onto the roof of the playskool castle they have for a climbing structure in the yard, kicking the ladder down behind him, and stretching out to nap in the sun while the corgi frolic and gambol around him.
Corgi are dogs that make up and play games with secret rules, like kindergartners. "Everyone bark in sync" is a popular game, as is "follow the leader" and it's companion game "March in a circle around a tall structure like ants caught in a death loop".
So what I was greeted with, when the attendant and I snuck out to the play yard, was the sight of Charlie, sound asleep and flat on his back with his paws crossed over his chest because sighthounds sleep in the stupidest fucking positions, on top of a faux-medieval castle with gargoyles on the corners, surrounded by approximately seven Corgi, all trotting in a circle around him, barking in sync.
"They look like they're preforming some kind of ritual!" giggled the attendant as attempted to get my phone to focus.
"Yeah, they're gonna summon Corgtulhu." I said.
Unfortunately, this made the attendant literally fall on her ass laughing, and distracted Herschel and his compatriots, so they didn't get to complete the summons, and I didn't get the pic.
The attendant kept laughing because apparently she's new to puns, and had mostly gotten it under control by the time we got everyone's leashes on and back out to the front.
The manager was watching the front desk, bemused. Did you get to see them doing the ritual?"
"YEAH!" shrieks the attendant, still excitable with merriment. "THEY'RE- THEY WERE-" The attendant ends up giggling on the floor.
"You okay there Katie?" asked the manager with minimal concern.
"We think they were trying to summon Corgthulhu." I eplain, and Katie screams from the floor. "Wasn't gonna work though, you need a virgin sacrifice and Charlie had an STD when we got him."
It was the manager's turn to shriek. and for Charlie and Herschel to start barking in solidarity.
"That's right Charlie! Your sluttiness saved the world!" I told him, as he jumped up and kicked me in the face.
Anyway, that's why Charlie's nickname at daycare is now "Superman(whore)"
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If you found this story amusing, please consider donating to my Ko-fi or pre-ordering the Family Lore book on my Patreon so I can buy the good dogs more treats.
@jadebrightwind You outtghta get a laugh out of this
Hear me out: Adult* Danny who is raising a formerly de-aged* Dani. And one day she comes home with Kon*, and Danny just shrugs and adopts Kon on the spot, so now Danny has two kids. A few weeks later, Kon comes to Danny and asks him to make Kon's templates suffer some inconvenience.
End of story, Danny sues Superman and Lex Luthor for Child support.
Only Kon, Dani, and Tucker(who got all the documents ready) are enjoying this. Danny's sorta just chilling and going along with it, he doesn't really need Child Support, especially from two people, so he'll probably just put all the payments into funds for the kids' futures and give them more allowance(Kon insists Dani be given some of it too and Danny won't fight him on his decision).
gay men brought back 70s mustaches, lesbians brought back 80s mullets, and now straight dudes are just walking around with both thinking they stumbled onto this styling choice by accident. say the line meryl (cerulean sweater monologue but specifically about how gay culture creates taste)
-- The Faggots & Their Friends Between Revolutions
I feel like a lot of people engaging in torture are not treating their victims as if they could have blood borne pathogens 🤔
Is what my wife said apropo of nothing as we were silently drifting off to sleep
Uh oh
Is what she said when I immediately reached for my phone and opened Tumblr instead of responding
@everything-you-feel-is-real I know by tumblr tradition that I'm to say "impossible, my posts never blow up like that," or "please don't do this to me."
But I feel in my bones that you are right. If this is to be my wife's moment of glory, I am willing to suffer notification overload, that the world may know she is funny. #MyFunnyWife
One of the most annoying genres of people on the internet are people who act like they believe science is one single monolithic thing. Like, you'll see an article saying something like "scientists studying the movement of tectonic plates", and then in the comments there'll be several smug people saying "smh why are scientists doing this instead of finding a cure for cancer", like. Why would a geologist be doing that.
With of course, its natural concequence being "if a scientist says it, it must be true" and sure why shouldn't you trust what an astronomer said about cancer. The disease.
