JIGSAW

I decided not to use labels cause they stress me out. She/They pronouns Interests: Umbrella Academy, Hamilton, OFMD, Glee

[angelhummel]

my most persistent toxic trait is that i wholeheartedly unironically think glee is a good show

[killedthedreamerdream]

Some Izzy Hands portrait I drew recently. They're not complete but I never finish my drawings so I thought I'd post them anyway. I miss OFMD so much so I cope with drawing my favorite.

[killedthedreamerdream]

CON REPOSTED IT ON INSTAGRAM AAAAH

[killedthedreamerdream]

Ok but like I'm 18. Next year I'll need to choose my university path, so what I want to do with my life. I'm so scared. I feel like I won't be interested in anything, but the things that could interest me are either not possible with my disability or way too difficult and selective, which is not really an option because of finances.

I really love movie making, cinema, all of that stuff. I definitely don't want to be an actor, but working on set sounds amazing. Becoming a director or a screenwriter are probably the only things that would truly satisfy me. But I don't have the money, nor the guts, nor the skills to really do that.

I thought of journalism. I love to write. But again, it's pretty selective, and I feel that I would get bored with subjects that are not linked with hyperfixations or special interests. Plus, the worst part of that job are interviews which I just can't imagine being able to do since I'm autistic and absolutely horrible with communication.

I thought of photograph. Doing photojournalism. But I actually never done photography, so what if I don't like it? I know nothing of photography and I'm scared of taking a class, not liking it and having wasted time and money. Also the traveling aspect scares me. I never traveled and I don't know if I'm able to.

I thought of being an author. Since I was little, that was always the thing I thought about, until I discovered cinema. But it's not that stable financially and as time goes by, I realize I don't really have the skills for that.

I'm so lost and, frankly, terrified of the future.

[killedthedreamerdream]

Some Izzy Hands portrait I drew recently. They're not complete but I never finish my drawings so I thought I'd post them anyway. I miss OFMD so much so I cope with drawing my favorite.

[killedthedreamerdream]

I've been officially diagnosed with autism 3 weeks ago. I had been on a waiting list for 2 years and I am now diagnosed at 18 y/o. The problem is that now, even more than before, I doubt myself. What if I'm not really autistic. It's weird I feel like when I was a kid it was easier for me so since right now it's really difficult to manage autistic traits, I feel like I'm faking them. Also I realized that I never really had an autistic meltdown. Maybe I'm not sure what it is but when I'm hearing other people talking about meltdowns I can't help but feel like it's not something I experience... I'm struggling a lot and I feel horrible about myself.

[killedthedreamerdream]

I was doing some research and learned that not all autistic people had meltdowns. I guess I need to research some more

[killedthedreamerdream]

I've been officially diagnosed with autism 3 weeks ago. I had been on a waiting list for 2 years and I am now diagnosed at 18 y/o. The problem is that now, even more than before, I doubt myself. What if I'm not really autistic. It's weird I feel like when I was a kid it was easier for me so since right now it's really difficult to manage autistic traits, I feel like I'm faking them. Also I realized that I never really had an autistic meltdown. Maybe I'm not sure what it is but when I'm hearing other people talking about meltdowns I can't help but feel like it's not something I experience... I'm struggling a lot and I feel horrible about myself.

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

I hate being political on this account but seeing the news this morning and seeing trump was still on the ballot…

FUCKING VOTE AMERICANS AND NOT FOR THE RED FUCKER

This will be a turning point. I swear to god.

You HAVE TO vote. I don’t care if you “hate Biden due to xyz” not voting for him let’s trump win by default! Jesus ducking Christ

[houseofpurplestars]

If any of you ever feel like what you're doing for Palestine isn't helping anything, I'll tell you right now it's helping me. I know it is fortifying all of us who have been in this fight for years to see so many people willing to speak up. It has never been like this before.

The tide has already turned. The fact that #free palestine will have new posts everyday, that helps me. It helps my mental health knowing that Palestinians are less alone now than ever.

Yesterday I read some verses from the Quran talking about how "the blame" is not with those who wish to help but cannot, but with those who CAN help and do not.

Truly I do not care if all you do for Palestine is post in that #free palestine everyday, that is still more than many people with the means to do even more would do.

We see you. We see you standing in solidarity with us and with Palestinians. We love you. Thank you.

[justletmeon12]

I have to keep reminding myself that the point of collective action is that it's collective.

It's terrifying and demoralizing that nothing thus far has stopped or more than briefly paused the genocide.

But that's not a reason to stop trying.

If you can protest in person, do that.

If you can donate, do that.

If you can write your officials, do that.

If you can click once a day, do it here: https://arab.org/click-to-help/palestine/

And if all you can do is share, do that.

[killedthedreamerdream]

At the end of my autistic assessment, the psychiatrist sat my parents down to tell them that yes I was autistic, no doubts. But that it was okay, because we all could make efforts to make the relationship easier.

I was thinking about how.. unfair, I guess, it was. I also get that it is necessary, but let's think about it. All of my life right now is a complete effort to just exist in a neurotypical constructed world. I make efforts at school, in class and while talking to my teachers. I make even more efforts with my friends, because I know I have to take care of them, friendship is not granted. I make efforts going to the store and sometimes even while walking in the street. I make efforts at work because in this society I really need the money. Then I get home and I don't live alone, so I have to make more efforts. I have to sit down for dinner and answer questions and ask some in return while I have a pile of homework in the back of my mind and all I want to do is to sleep the next 14h away. But my parents, they do all of that without much efforts, just normally. Then they come home and have to make efforts to just do less? Be a little less noisy, ask a little less questions, expect a little less answers.. but still they expect me to give them so much more than I'd naturally give?

I understand in some ways why I have to do it but it kills me that they'll never truly understand why they have to, and why what they ask of me is a bit unfair.

[neurodivergenttales]

The ‘you’re mature for your age’ to sleeping with a bed full of plushies in your mid twenties pipeline is real

[killedthedreamerdream]

After a 3h appointment, making up a story with toys, fake brushing my teeth and forced eye contact I'm finally doctor approved. Got my autistic diagnosis this morning I'm exhausted

[greenteaandtattoos]

Yeah, hi, so,

I have a better idea:

✨Let aroace characters be aroace✨ challenge 2024 [impossible]

[leclecarchie]

[killedthedreamerdream]

I'm in the process of autism assessment and I've been on a waiting list for 3 years but I finally have an appointment in 2 weeks. Before that I got a phone call and my parents also had a virtual meeting without me, which I found strange cause this is supposed to be about me. Anyway, my appointment in 2 weeks is with my parents and I'm really uncomfortable about that because I feel like it will change my behaviors and make me mask even more. Also, I'm 18. I'm an adult. I do not want an appointment with my parents and I do not want my diagnosis to be based on their opinion. They are supportive but I can tell they don't think I am autistic. I also mask more around them because I feel like I disappoint and annoy them when I show more obvious trait. I don't understand the diagnosis process, can someone who went through it help me?

[killedthedreamerdream]

Do you guys know if an aro ressource exists. Just to chat with people when aromantic struggles get too much to deal with alone?

I could use that rn.

[deep-sigh-comics]

love

[ditzydoodiary]

i feel really bad for saying this, but something i struggle with regarding my autism is trying to sound interested in other people's interests. i try so hard to seem interested because i know that feeling of being ignored when infodumping about your interests, but also, my own interests are so restricted that i cant get into/seem interested in anyone elses interests.

i cant get into things people recommend me, at all, no matter how hard i actually want to because it just feels like a demand. i also cant get into anything else even if i myself really want to get into it. especially if someone else's interests involve anything with real humans. cant watch anything thats live action, it needs to be animated and usually has to involve animals in some way.