#aromantic struggles

[bloggingboutburgers]

Sorry, more a rant than an ask, but I feel like you'd get it.

I love people, and I love getting to know them, and I love physical closeness. Friends are everything to me; I trust them, and prioritize them, and they're my favorites.

I'm a sex-repulsed ace and a romance-repulsed aro.

I've never been able to be friends with a man.

Somehow I always do it wrong, because if we become friends, it never gets past friendship before ending because somehow, he got the wrong idea (or his girlfriend got jealous). Which, sure, that doesn't sound like a problem to an allo, but it's scary every time. I don't know how they get the wrong idea.

I even tried telling one that I'm aroace, and that still didn't work. He still confessed to me.

I text my friends, I talk to them all the time, I like hanging out with them, I like giving them things, etc etc. I like cuddling. I love hugs.

I'm not a woman but I look like one. And it's not fair, because I don't want to change how I look, but it just... cuts me off from connecting with half of humanity - at least, that's how it feels like.

This isn't an "I hate men" or an "I love women" I'm just really tired. And yeah this could easily turn into a whole "gay people have it hard" or whatever but what about the aros who don't want any part of this at all. What about the people who just wanna love freely without worrying about people "taking it the wrong way" or "leading people on" or whatever.

No, seriously... I get that so much. It's happened to me as well, thankfully only once... And a half. But ye. It's heartbreaking that you can't start liking someone (and I do mean "liking" in the least romantically-biased sense of the world, like liking without an agenda attached) and express it the way you want to express it without people twisting it into the very thing you're avoiding. It's heartbreaking and exhausting for sure.

For what it's worth, if it can bring a bit of hope, some of my closest friends are make friends who get me and accept me for who I am. So it's at least possible in theory, if it could happen to me. I hope it can happen to you, too. But yeah, I also know how much of a struggle it is. I sincerely wish you the best.

(PS: I'm so sorry for replying so late T^T)

[moonprismpower456]

Allo Things That Piss Me Off #3: “We’re Just Friends” SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP FRIENDS ARE AMAZING

[repulsed-confessions]

You can't choose your sexuality, but you can choose not to date at all, btw.

[garlicbreadish]

liking someone as an aroace means going through all stages of grief, euphoria, depression, happiness, anxiety and literally a whole ass rollercoaster of different emotions😔🙏

[cherrytea556]

Being an aromantic writer is frustrating because you want to show aromantic people but you know damn well people would misinterpret their relationships as romantic and ship them, ignoring the orientation of them for aromantics like you to finally get more recognised within in or out of the community. It really says something that I know I have to be explicitly clear that these characters are aromantic and I don't want them shipped for people to even slightly get the message across.

[this-is-amato-heteronormativity]

Amatonormativity and aphobia is the choking fear I've had for most of my life that if I ever *did* """fall in love""" and get married every person who's ever said "oh you just haven't met the right person yet" would feel justified in believing that aspec identities ""don't exist""

This is romance-normativity and arophobia.

Even if you had fallen in love, it wouldn't have delegitimatized your arospec identity, because not all aromatics are bold stripe aromantic, aqueerplatonic & analterous, and non-partnering.

[vurrkit]

Recently saw a comment under a post saying something along the lines of "An allosexual aromantic, a person's worse nightmare as they don't want someone romantically and only for the body" and it's like ???

People who are aromantic allosexuals can experience other attraction besides sexual, they can experience attractions such as but limited to aesthetic, emotional, sensual and alterous.

And even then people who are allosexual and alloromantic are just as capable for using others for predatory, exploitative, and sexual gain, or wanting to just use someone for their body. Being aromantic doesn't make someone by default or inherently predatory or something like that.

I'm tired of queerness being pushed into a narrative of being inherently predatory. Gay and lesbian people are seen as predatory as they're assumed to want to have sex with anyone the same gender automatically. Bisexuals are assumed to want to have sex with every person automatically, even if they're in a relationship. Asexuals are considered to be holding something back from their partners and using them emotionally since they don't want to have sex. And then I just saw this shit with aromantic people just wanting someone for the body to exploit them if they don't experince romantic attraction.

None of this is a queer only thing, anyone is capable of doing this shit, but saying people do this because they're queer is crazy I hate people.

[onyxeatsu]

will u give me as much effort as i give u? ill give u everything i have , so dont run away, okay?