I Am Penguin

Kit is me. Walking disaster. main blog to gentlyundercover

[queerstudiesnatural]

some of my favourite sign fails <3

[samwiselastname]

[sexybritishllama]

it might just be because im sleep deprived from jetlag rn but this r/relationship_advice post is making me cry actual tears of laughter. i read the post at first and was like yeah pretty standard whatever but im nosey so i clicked on the drawing op linked and i was not mentally prepared for it. putting it under a read more so you can get the same experience as i did

some of the top comments

[depsidase]

[bealittleimprobable]

This has been driving me insane.

I used to be *good* at search. It was a whole thing - I found people's "lost songs" or their unknown-source childhood stuffed toy or whatever from Google.

Now, you can't search for the exact brand/design name of something and get accurate answers. It drives me spare on Amazon - if I search for XYZ and you don't have any, or you only have 2, tell me that.

I wouldn't mind if it said "Here are 2 XYZ. Shoppers also searched for..." Instead it'll just throw a random, barely-linked pile of results and you have to wade through every single one to see if the thing you want exists.

[kimberlychapman]

THIS. For ages I used to say that I had "high Google-Fu". I could find *anything* because I knew how to use strings to enhance searches. The string commands haven't even worked for well over a year or more, far before they put in this infernal (and often wrong!) AI BS on top.

I used to be able to search for recipes and easily eliminate unwanted ingredients with a -. For example I'd look for low-carb desserts but without the zillions that use peanut butter simply by searching for something like:

low carb chocolate dessert recipe -peanut

And I'd get a slew of on-point suggestions. For some time now if you do -peanut Google ignores the - and assumes you want recipes stuffed with peanuts.

Where it's even worse now is now you get directed to sites full of bogus AI recipes that don't even make sense. But they have peanuts in them.

I used to be able to use reverse image searches to find out who made that awesome art so I could give credit in my share. They've removed that ability entirely and replaced it with Lens, which is AI BS just showing you more like what you looked for. (Rebecca Watson complained about this in her recent video about JD Vance jizz cup rumours and I apologise for that sentence but...yeah. Watson is great, go find her on Youtube and subscribe because she went into detail about how Google has become less and less useful for debunking.)

This isn't just about Google inserting shopping ads instead of what you wanted to learn about. That's bad. But the results now are just *broken*. The tools we used to have to make searches better have been removed. Google no longer wants us to find the answers we seek, but the answers they want us to have, and that's super creepy and dangerous.

And the alternatives are either using Google in the back end or have other significant barriers to use.

This sucks.

[bogleech]

Duckduckgo and all the other alternatives work this way too, now.

[revretch]

Verbatim search, guys!! Go to "Tools," and enable "Verbatim."

It's a pain in the ass, but it still works!

[dalniente]

1) yay, thank you

2) WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID THEY HIDE IT

[morphinemilkshake]

For all you Firefox users, here's an addon that forces verbatim mode to always be on:

unfuck-google – Get this Extension for 🦊 Firefox (en-US)

Download unfuck-google for Firefox. This addon forces 'Verbatim' search on Google - removing all bs personalization and localization and let

[elfwreck]

This addon forces 'Verbatim' search on Google - removing all bs personalization and localization and letting you find results for what you type, not what Google thinks is in your head.

It also forces "Sort by Date" on Google News search.

In the flood of bad search results, I had forgotten about Google News giving me 2012 articles related to high-profile drama instead of whatever happened last month that I was actually looking for.

[motherfucker-unlimited]

[tastytoecheese]

First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

How you dying 👀

[kitundercover]

Mating 👀

[babyanimalgifs]

Learn ur dog breeds

[mellehbeans]

Kevin

[sim-simma]

THE GOLDEN BRINGY BACKY

[fishing-lesbian-princess]

The people who write for recipe websites live in a whole different world from me. I’m sorry I’m but a mere peasant who doesn’t have a food processor, a bread maker, a taffy puller, a sous vid, an apple sharpener, a serrated rolling pin, a pasta folder, a mobius funnel, or a milk shaker. Oh how foolish of me, with my simple pedestrian life that I didn’t anticipate how your recipes in the top search results would require buttermilk, baker’s flour, executioner’s chocolate, truffle blubber, or, fermented saffron. Tallow? Oh how foolish of me for not thinking to prepare tallow, you’re right, I should simply go procure some from my lard cellar

[self-loving-vampire]

They really should teach people how to cook in school.

[shapeshiftinterest]

song: in the hall of the mountain king

[sol1056]

that is honestly one of the best-timed and best-edited videos as if the music were made for the text or the text were made to the music and perfectly

[catchymemes]

Weatherman discovers his monitor has a touch screen

[silverjirachi]

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[chillyfeetsteak]

in case anyone was wondering, this is butterfly pea flower tea, which has the cool quality of changing color with pH changes (in this case, adding acidic lemon)

[krudman]

[penny-anna]

Hi I have a question about Pacific Rim. Given that the sparring is just A way to test for drift compatibility and any activity that requires people to collaborate and anticipate each others moves works, including stuff like multi player video games

Can you test for drift compatibility via improv comedy

[penny-anna]

They are piloting a Jaeger together in my imagination

[lynati]

Its name is "Yes, And?"

[what-even-is-thiss]

Fairy: Hey I didn’t get your name.

Me: Yeah that was on purpose.

Fairy: Oh my god stealing people’s names has been categorized as a war crime for like a hundred years. Do I seem like the kind of fairy that would do war crimes?

Me: Well yes, but that’s just my impression of you personally. Not fairies in general.

Fairy: You’re smarter than I thought.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Me: So is the fairy monarch democratically elected?

Fairy: I think the one from a small corner of Alabama might be but for the most part, no. It’s still decided by a contest between the three oldest children.

Me: What kind of competition?

Fairy: Well it used to be to the death but that was too violent so these days each kingdom comes up with their own. In mine I think they play marbles but I’ve never seen one.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Me: Okay so why shouldn’t I say thank you or give gifts in return for favors?

Fairy: That’s mostly a regional thing but where I’m from it’s insulting to the wealth of the person giving you stuff. Like you really only thank people when what they did was like a huge burden so if you thank someone for giving you something that’s like calling them poor.

Me: Fairies have wealth inequality?

Fairy: I mean we technically still live under a feudal system if I’m being honest but with modern technology and ethics nobody notices.

Me: Do you have Internet down there?

Fairy: Only dial-up. That’s why I come to your house.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Fairy: So you’re telling me that human men don’t think that frog eyes are sexy?

Me: Well not most of them to my knowledge.

Fairy: So I bought these contacts for nothing.

Me: Hey man you don’t have to be a frog spirit to lure men into your clutches. Plenty of dudes are into cat eyes and ghoulish moaning.

Fairy: You really think so?

Me: I know so! Stop doubting yourself so much. You can definitely find some mortal men to lure into the timeless void for several centuries and adopt a demon cat with you.

Fairy: Thanks, man. That means a lot.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Fairy: So humans... don’t eat glass?

Me: No? It’ll cut up our insides and kill us.

Fairy: Ooohhhh. Oh no.

Me: What did you do now?

Fairy: More like... what I’ve done over the past three centuries since I moved out of my mom’s house.

Me: Did the coughing up of blood not cue you into anything?!?!!

Fairy: I thought that humans just spontaneously die sometimes!

Me: No we don’t! There’s physical reasons for these things!

Fairy: So... no more bringing nightshade and glass entrees to the potluck?

Me: No!

[what-even-is-thiss]

Me: So why mushrooms as portals?

Fairies: Look man, even we don’t mess with mushrooms alright? Sometimes they open up a portal to the human world and it’s just best to not question it.

Me: So wait. You don’t make the fairy circles?

Fairy: No. Mushrooms decide.

[hollowbon3s]

yr locked in a room alone with three adult men but you feel perfectly safe. who are they

[flowersonmymind1016]

[icedsilver]

[ilex-merciae]

[wukodork]

I mean, I feel safe from them but I’m suddenly EXTREMELY worried about what shenanigans I’ve stumbled into

[piedude]

“These men mean me no harm”

“So you feel safe now?”

“Oh, absolutely not”

[thewolfwaitsbelow]

Let's make banana bread! Suggested proportions in parentheses

Butter (10%)

Sugar (20%)

Eggs (5%)

Bananas (20%)

Milk (5%)

Flour (40%)

Lemon juice (>.5%)

Baking powder (>.5%)

Baking soda (.2%)

salt (.1%)

Voting ended onMar 7, 2024

No vanilla extract because my recipe doesn't call for it.

[thewolfwaitsbelow]

Just so you guys know, I do plan on making this. If you want me to take more than one bite, stop voting salt

[anxietyproblem]

[kunosoura]

“If it sucks hit da bricks” isn’t just a useful litany it’s also a skill you have to train. You gotta start with small stuff like leaving boring parties and refusing minor obligations to get the guts for the big stuff like quitting garbage jobs, cutting off a shitty relationship and getting out of a bad situation. Know what your time is worth

[valtsv]

tired: mermaids are all women

wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty

[valtsv]

inspired: merfolk actually have very different concepts of gender to humans because they’re an entirely different species with their own unique culture

[valtsv]

marine scientist: what’s your gender?

merperson: what’s a gender

marine scientist: like, are you a man or a woman?

merperson: i’m merfolk

marine scientist: no, like, what’s in your pants?

merperson: i don’t… wear any? i don’t have legs?

[9lunarseas6-deactivated20240914]

It’s a biological fact that fish do indeed change their sex to keep the male/female ratio balanced in their school population. So this fluidity actually makes more sense from a scientific standpoint than the silly idea that merfolk are born with a strictly assigned sex like humans.

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Merfolk are all canonically genderfluid and we love them for that

[anonymous-lizard]

Human: (invites merfolk friend to a boat party with their friends)

Merfolk: oh man, there are a lot of women here. Haha don’t worry guys, I got this :) *changes into a man to keep a balance because that’s culturally polite for merfolk*

Human: (spits drink) what the FUCK

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

OH MY GOD

[kingfisher-colours]

So in the presence of a ship with an entirely or mostly male crew, nearby mermaids would become female to keep the balance.