Chaotic Blogger

too lazy to change my age every year so just know I'm an adult I reblog the things I find amusing, or interesting. So it's an assortment of things, fandom, and not. Hope you enjoy ^_^ I like talking about my OCs and Dungeons and Dragons characters so feel free to send me asks!

[a-s-fischer]

If you want a good object lesson about what we can and can't know about the past, we don't know Ea-Nasir was a dishonest merchant selling shoddy goods.

What we know is we have found a cache of complaint tablets about him selling low quality copper as high quality, in a site that was probably his own residence. We know multiple people complained he was a cheat. It's entirely possible they were right. It's also entirely possible that he kept these complaint letters as records of people he would no longer do business with, because they had made accusations and threats in order to bully him into giving them free copper. That is an equally valid interpretation of the evidence.

My point is not that we have maligned Ea-Nasir, my point is that thousands of years later, we do not and cannot know.

[kindigo]

Actually he wrote all the complaints himself with various sock puppet accounts to drum up sympathy subscribers to his Claytreon

[strangestcase]

Geological horror. You find a geode and crack it open and the crystal lining its walls is human blood that can't be genetically matched to anyone. You find a human skeleton but every one of the bones is made from rock, a rock that you know can't be whittled into those shapes. You find layers of clay and loam that sport ancient fossils at the top and the still-rotting corpses of modern animals at the bottom.

[ryan-sometimes]

My friend Dylan is such a profound person, and yet so simple at the same time. Do you know what I mean

[girl-in-thechair]

Is this the guy you accidentally trained with food?

[ryan-sometimes]

No. That was Matthew, who is in my frat. Dylan is my ecology major friend who is too wholesome for his own good. He talks to plants reassuringly when he’s moving them. He says stuff like “You’re so strong. You’re going to grow so well. You’re doing so good” while he’s putting them in the ground. He giggles in the shower. He goes birdwatching and will talk about birds for hours if prompted. I’m talking about a 21 year old cishet male by the way.

[ryan-sometimes]

Other Dylan anecdotes:

One time I (lesbian) pointed out a girl I thought was really hot. Dylan looked at her, smiled, and said “Aww, yeah. She is cute. You just wanna give her a hug!” and that is how he talks about women

He walked into his roommate having gay sex on the floor of their dorm and not only failed to realize they were having sex, he STEPPED OVER THEM TO GRAB HIS LAPTOP BEFORE LEAVING AGAIN!! After this his roommate was like “well I guess you know I’m gay” and Dylan said “YOU ARE?!!” because he did not realize they were having sex and thus did not realize his roommate was gay.

He started feeling really stupid about cussing for some reason and unironically said non swears like “what the cluck!!” for a while

One time we were in the pit of a punk concert and he leaned over to say to me: “heeheeheeh… I love how there’s a milk chocolate AND a chocolate milk!!”

[ryan-sometimes]

[disgustinggf]

[reddslym]

[ristay]

Dyslexic adventures!

Follow me on WEBTOONS

ristay

The horribly awkward, unique and embarrassing stories of ristay.

[ristay]

Dyslexic adventures!

Follow me on WEBTOONS

ristay

The horribly awkward, unique and embarrassing stories of ristay.

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Tumblr purity culture thinks this is how AO3 works

[creepymutelilbugger]

outta the way gayboy im boutta read Murder Magazine

[mousidy]

next satan is gonna crank her hog into my funnel

[mousidy]

I’d like to issue a formal apology

[transfeminine-anarcho-post-egg]

Never apologize for being yourself

[themightyhumanbroom]

This is a friendly reminder to give your OC a firm and unmistakable L every now and then.

This is a necessary action to keep your OC healthy for the long term.

[timeloopfemme]

[afterartist]

I have a healthy taste in fictional characters

[escuerzoresucitado]

[ichorandpride]

i love my boyfriend. he's so playful and likes to try to scare me. i always catch him hiding around corners but i still pretend to be scared so he can get a laugh. he's also pretty shy and avoids my eyes lots. i think it's cute!

he's also an amazing chiropractor. ive never had a single pain in my neck since meeting him!

[txttletale]

inveting a new type of steel called Stainful Steel. allkinds of fuckin colours and slops will stick to this bad boy

[txttletale]

when you use a stainful steel knife it is basically 90% meat juices by weight before it even touches the delicious ribeye steajk. i expect to sell this idea for 100 dollars

[txttletale]

everyone stop casting iron at me im goingto run out of counterspells

[androgynosaurus]

I love you so much I hope we get reborn as housecats who sleep together like puzzle pieces

[androgynosaurus]

This is us in the next life

[bittergourdsoup-deactivated2024]

i am chronically online but not in a way that others recognise unless they are also an active tumblr user in the year 2023 🫡

[dorothygale]

[adventures-in-poor-planning]

tags from @umamidjezhda because LITERALLY

[schlarklezyaoi]

i love my little cousin to death because he’s at that little kid stage where he has absolutely no speech filter so i know EXACTLY what type of shit his conservative mom has been feeding him. kid pulled our other cousin aside and went “DID YOU KNOW ICARUS LOOKS LIKE A BOY BUT HES ACTUALLY A GIRL?” (he also has yet to master volume control) and it’s so fucking funny because his mom acts all polite and friendly to my face only for her son to instantly expose who she actually is. king shit. unintentional ally

[schlarklezyaoi]

TEARS IN MY EYES HE DID IT AGAIN. he essentially yelled out “whoever speaks first is a faggot” (bc their parents were trying to get them to be quiet so he decided to make it a game.) and his dad went to reprimand him for it and the little guy went “but you say it all the-“ before his dad cut him off by going “no, i’ve never said it” i’m obsessed with this little dude consistently outing how bigoted his parents are without even realizing he’s doing it 😭

[theunfairfolk]

the context for the first thing is that op is a trans person named icarus but i 100% thought it was some weird conservative conspiracy about a transgender icarus From The Myths and i was trying to figure out what part of the wing thing made them a woman.

[mcnostril]

I have discovered the truth about chainmail bikinis, and it is imperative those wearing such armor do not think about it too hard or they may inadvertently cross the line between Sexy Hero and Homicidal Pervert.

[justsomeditzyblonde]

I actually appreciate how aggressively non sexy this whole comic is

[lelianasbong]

I don't understand the thinking behind wanting Wyll to be more of a hardline monster hunter traditional lawful good coded guy. One of the very best things about him is how he breaks that stereotype - because he IS for goodness and justice and battling evil where'er it lurks! But it's the kind of Good that knows Hurt People Hurt People and not every monster has to remain so. He's a man of nuance who always, always, always gives "monsters" the benefit of the doubt so long as they're not actively threatening innocent people.

[I'd have taken her head if she spoke to me like that.]

Wyll: I try to avoid summary execution when a sideways glance will suffice.

Astarion fucking bites him - Wyll, the Blade of Frontiers!! a renowned monster hunter!! a man who, by his own admission, has slain vampire spawn before!!!!! - and what does he do? Calls him insolent but charming, says he got the best sleep he's had in ages, compliments his hair and tells him to keep his fangs out of innocent people (notably he does not actually tell Astarion to keep his fangs out of his neck.... unlike everyone else in the party).

He travels alongside, has a lot of respect for and great camaraderie with Lae'zel (militaristic space pirate whom everyone on the Material Plane shits bricks upon seeing) and Shadowheart (ms. when i grow up i wanna be a dark justiciar in a nihilistic shadow cult. maybe do a blood sacrifice idk) and Karlach who he was sent to kill but didn't (unless you did the thing. I did Not) because he decides her life is more important than the inevitable torment he'll face for disobeying Mizora.

He's sooo, SOOOO much more interesting this way than as a Lawful Stupid "why aren't we killing these undead/abominations/astral invaders already alfjakghjkk >:(" hardline smitey ur-paladin fucker whose character arc is learning that oooh monsters are people too oh wowow because he already knows that!!! He already knows!!!! His character arc isn't about acknowleding that monsters have feelings too, it's acknowledging that he has feelings too and is worthy of the same consideration and benefit of the doubt he extends to everyone around him!!!!!!!

[fangsandfeels]

Wyll not only knows that hurt people hurt people, he also knows that not every "monster" has a choice or that sometimes supposedly "evil" beings are more than they seem.

(Which is why he is so reserved about worshipping gods: he says he pays his respects to the Triad, but I think, deep inside, he knows that, aside from Illmater, kind gods would turn their backs on any poor soul who was changed or "born evil" in disgust)

He himself is pretty much "evil" through a lawful-stupid lens - he made a pact with a fiend, and he uses hellish powers (even before Mizora gave him devilish features, some lawful-stupid goons would have taken offense with his powers, I guarantee).

And while he knows that the fiend found the best conditions for offering him the pact (the father is away, the city is in danger, he is only a teen with a rapier), some sanctimonious prick would still go with "wEll yOu cOuLd hAvE dOnE SoMeThiNg else" lecture. Wyll knows, he couldn't.

And so, he won't be the one to cast judgment - not before he listens and knows the entire story. He was convincing himself that Karlach was that bloodthirsty devil; he wanted to believe that there was all to it. But the moment he realizes his mistake and changes his plans? He smiles at her and welcomes her. It's all genuine - because even though he knows he'd have to pay the price, he is glad he didn't spill the undeserving person's blood. He knows it's not Karlach's fault he was manipulated.

(Which is why I won't cut Mizora any slack; she belongs in the Mystra, Shar, and Cazador dissing corner)

If anything, Ulder Ravengard is lawful stupid. No, I won't apologize. Yeah-yeah, duty and shit, but if only the guy had used his brain and let his trust in his son act before his "but what would the people say" brain cell; if only he had told Wyll he is there for him, and they would figure it out together...Wyll wouldn't have to spend all these years alone, with only Mizora hurting him for her own amusement.

Ulder basically left his only child to fend for himself, left him to be clawed and mocked by a cruel cambion who belittled him and treated him like her toy and property - and it's only because of Wyll's inner strength and absolute refusal to give Mizora any satisfaction (by being a regretful and miserable petitioner), his conviction that he did the right thing, that his sacrifice was worth the cost, and his intention to see good in any situation, that got him through this shit.