giulio sabbadin is a cynic. if there's one thing he can count on, its the depths of sin the human soul can devolve into. so when he first meets aldo bellini, cold, aloof and perfect, so far above gossip and intrigue and politics, giulio feels this need to rip off that impossible marble mask that he's wearing and expose the rot he's sure to find underneath.
he scoffs at the pelican in aldo's pectoral cross. rolls his eyes at the idea that aldo fancies himself to be a savior that will provide for the needy.
he finds no opening, of course. aldo is his superior here in the diocese of milan. and that mask of his is impeccable. he feels his hand twitch, fighting against the impulse to try to reveal what's underneath that mask but does nothing. instead he opts to cop around his pockets and search for his pack of cigarettes.
it doesn't matter; time will always reveal the ugly sides of a person regardless if he does his digging to find dirt on aldo. and what time does reveal is that aldo can't help but be himself. reveals his beliefs that are borderline heresy. shows his fangs in intellectual debates with giulio. doesnt back down even if his beliefs ostracized him from the rest of the church. (giulio finds it amusing to note that aldo being hardheaded doesn't necessarily mean he can convince the Catholic church to budge). they don't agree on a lot of things but it showed a bit of a person instead of a Robot Prayer Dispenser. giulio finds that he likes him. very much. teaches him how to navigate politics and how to temper himself so as not to reveal all of his cards and how to stop wearing his convictions so openly so as not to give ammunition to his enemies.
lately, giulio doesn't obsess as much over finding out the rot on aldos soul but sometimes he still feels that impulse. he reaches for another cigarette.
giulio gets his wish one day when aldo comes to him, troubled. he sinks to his knees asking giulio to hear his confession—he is the only one he could trust with this. it should have given giulio some sense of satisfaction, that finally this seemingly perfect man has actual sins to confess to but seeing aldo this distraught just fills him with dread. aldo confesses with great shame, of his love desires of his dear friend thomas, of the cancer diagnosis. his own commitment to his oaths wavering on the face of it. how it feels a now or never for him. thomas may not have much time but he knows what he feels is a sin. that abandoning his oath to pursue his own selfishness is a sin.
giulio listens on to his ramblings. aldo almost on the verge of tears. the rot had finally revealed itself but giulio finds no sense of triumph in finally uncovering it. suddenly it all makes sense to him. that perfect mask is not meant to deceive. it's to make up for the fact that aldo is, despite all his best efforts, himself.
right now, at this moment, aldo looks so painfully human. under normal circumstances, being human would have earned giulio's scorn. after all, you can count on humans to trip over their own, well, humanness. the politician in giulio can always count on that and use it to his own advantage. with aldos confession, giulio finds himself unable to cling to his cynicism.
right now, as aldo confesses his own shortcomings, his own doubts and fears, giulio feels nothing but an almost unbearable warmth in his chest. giulio gathers the man in front of him into his arms, letting him cry on his shoulders.
internally, he thanks god for having met one aldo bellini.
annaxmalina
