[hozierslikes]

Today on “Hozier’s Likes”

[rslashrats]

bad and lazy design: having a couple have kids and the son(s) look exactly like the dad and the daughter(s) look exactly like the mom

[rslashrats]

[posyfoot]

No tea no shade but Lady and Tramps puppies should’ve looked like this

[rslashrats]

this person gets it!

[yhadsa]

If becoming “religious” has made you judgmental, rude, harsh, a backbiter, you need to check if you’re worshipping God or your ego.

[pissvortex]

my dad went for a run and then it started like fucking monsooning so i got in my car to go look for him and i saw some guy running but it was raining so hard i couldn’t tell it wasn’t my dad so i just pulled up to this random ass dude and started yelling GET IN DUDE but he just started running faster and then i realized it wasn’t my dad

[afloweroutofstone]

Free: this Blackberry I just fished out of a creek

[themrfluff]

You’re standing in the exact location a businessman realized that what’s truly important, is family.

[c3rvida3]

Throwback to when I was taking selfies at work and the dude in the stall was making noises like he was giving birth to the Jersey Devil and my life flashed before my eyes.

[charliemack]

… in a good way?

[c3rvida3]

Is this the face of a man who’s having a nice time

[focsle]

On the subject of Completely Fucking Hating Cooking, I just have to say that this is such a good book for people who Completely Fucking Hate Cooking. This author understands the reasons people hate cooking, and understands that you still have to eat things, and understands the concept of ‘easy quick meals’ that are actually easy quick meals.

[focsle]

Like…it’s such a good book. It Understands.

[writing-prompt-s]

You’re teleported to 44 BCE Rome in your everyday street clothes. You’re brought before Caesar and he believes you might be from the future, hoping to bring him fortune. One day he questions you, asking “How Do I Die?”

[calamitouserebus]

“Surrounded by friends”

[gardenoffish]

Ceasers as he’s getting stabbed and remembers:

[pileofknives]

“From the numerous future germs and shit that I’ve brought back in time that you don’t have an immunity to, probably”

[imninm-deactivated20160505]

Squidward literally lives in a deluxe 3 floor loft

[imninm-deactivated20160505]

And he’s a cashier squidward must be on backpage selling ass

[sensenoi]

There are only four Irish folk songs:

1. I had too much to drink and I regret nothing

2. I met a fair bonny lass and she was bonny and fair

3. We will fight the British for ever and ever and ever and ever and

4. I have left Ireland and I shall never be happy again

[deepspacepirate]

Whenever someone says I’m kind and patient:

[depresane]

Polish fishermen have caught an old, huge wels catfish, which had eaten a bit of an SS soldier in the 1940s.

O.O

And by “a bit” I mean his head and a bit of his upper torso, since a fragmented skull, two buttons and the insignia were found inside the gigantic fish.

o.O

How does one even…? Brrr!

( @biszumletzten )

[biszumletzten]

thank you so much for thinking of me when you see a post about a nazi eating sea monster. :3 this has made my day. bless

[lilnasxvevo]

If you don’t feel like reading the article, please know that this is one of the oldest wels catfish ever caught–they usually live to be about 60, and this one was between 90 and 110 years old.

Also, I don’t know much about fish but HOLY SHIT THIS FISH IS SO BIG

I WAS LIKE “WTF HOW CAN A FISH JUST EAT A PERSON” AND THEN I SAW HOW BIG THIS FISH WAS AND I UNDERSTOOD 

This fish is 187 kg which is a little over 412 lbs and I am so proud of it for eating a Nazi and being so big and strong and old I’m a little emotional rn

[your-fave-is-a-cinnamonroll]

Tumblr user @i-am-a-fish is a precious cinnamon roll!!!

Requested by anonymous 💖

[i-am-a-fish]

[killowave]

[vioislit]

jesus :(

DRUGS

jesus :)

[byjove]

Victor refusing to make the Monster a wife because he was worried they’d breed is such a cop out. Like, you’re cobbling together body parts from charnel houses. You can just not give her any ovaries. You can just spay her like a cat. Why are you this dumb Victor. You’re a doctor.

[byjove]

the implication that victor spend weeks giving the monster a working dick is also extremely weird

[techskylander]

Something to remember is that Victor didn’t just give the monster a working dick! He wanted his creation to be made of the best parts of men-it’s why the monster is made up of so many different pieces rather than one fresh corpse, why he’s so large, and why Victor is disappointed that he isn’t beautiful.

So, what does this mean? It means that Victor looked at the dicks of various corpses, testing not only to make sure they work, but also to find what he considered to be the best corpse dick. Does this mean the monster was extremely hung? Or did Victor simply pick the dick that seemed most attractive to him? Did he memorize the appearance of the dicks, or did he line them up to compare?

We’ll never know, because the original story never touches on the subject, and it’s one of the few flaws in Mary Shelley’s work.

[byjove]

I know I started this conversation but I’m so sorry I did

[kintatsujo]

Considering we know who Mary Shelley was spending time around I guarantee this was a CONVERSATION that she actively and adamantly refused to actually include in the text

[iconuk01]

Well, there is ONE adaptation which includes this very discussion.

[ohddaniellee-blog]

Reblog this if you are literally suprised when people find you attractive.

[dontyoustealmyusername-deactiva]

Very surprised

[so-many-ships-i-have-a-fleet]

I’d probably die from shock

[a-humble-narcissus]

I’d combust due to how hard I’d be blushing

[you-had-me-at-e-flat-major]

adulthood is spending 20 minutes debating the phrasing of an email that essentially says ‘thanks’