Hold on, my train of thought just hit a cow

Just me, 34, German. heroine addict. music junkie. compulsive TV show watcher. ✿

[scunthotter]

Yuna always calls Shane her favorite mother's day gift, because his birthday occasionally falls on mother's day. When Ilya joins the family, and they learn his birthday is close to father's day, David starts calling Ilya his favorite father's day gift. Shane is insulted because he bought David a trip to Iceland last year.

[userilyarozanov]

incorrect heated rivalry: 4/? Ilya Rozanov + bisexuality

[dear-ao3]

[kaijuerotica]

heated rivalry book: shane skated away with a flirty smile

heated rivalry show: shane skated away with a slowmo over the shoulder dead wife flashback smile

[quelmdn]

"The image was damascened, as beaten metal. He was reading."

(That small crumb of bookish Laurent from book 1)

[magneatio]

opened up instagram for the first time in a megamillion years. did they make anyone else see this. huh. ….?

[magneatio]

i was curious so i clicked on the account. there is more.

[lexicanons]

Married Hollanov decided to do an ad campaign together and they chose Peloton to be the first one. They sit down with the Peloton team and they’re throwing out ideas for the commercial when Ilya cuts in with an idea of his own. As Ilya talks, Shane realizes Ilya is describing the night in the gym all those years ago. The Peloton people love it. They’ll need to work in some other aspects but they go with Ilya’s general idea. The commercial comes out and it opens up on a shot of Shane pedaling on the bike. Ilya joins him a moment later, not before running his hand along Shane’s lower back. They pedal hard on their respective bikes. That turns into running on a treadmill which turns into shadow boxing which turns into other exercises to show off all of the Peloton features before they end up on the floor facing each other, sharing a water bottle and smiling at each other as the Peloton label fills the screen. Shane and Ilya watch the commercial and then decide to read the comments:

‘I didn’t know Peloton was a porn company now’

‘So if I get a Peloton I’ll get a hot husband? He’ll just appear beside me?’

‘You ever look at two people and just know they’re freaks?’

‘Did you see how Ilya mouthed ‘more’ to Shane when he was drinking??’

‘The hand on Shane’s back, helping him stretch during the Yoga part, oh I know Ilya tore Shane up after that shoot.’

[tetitasdelimon]

top 5 horror movies

-having a job

-not having a job

-applying for jobs

-the job market

-the concept of working my whole life

[autistobrat]

scientists are experimenting on cross-breeding a crab and a cheetah; things could go sideways real fast

[wingkink]

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

[sophsun1]

10 Things I Hate About You (1999) dir. Gil Junger

[ilya-sweetheart]

Boston boys 😎 groupchat

Ilya: everyone is welcome to dunkin’s funeral on friday

Cliff: who the fuck is dunkin?

St-Simon: you’re selling your ducati?!

Connors: you named your bike after dunkin donuts?

Ilya: yes and also yes; jane says either i sell dangerous motorcycle or i can never eat her ass again

Ilya: was easy choice

Cliff: man you’re whipped can’t belive you’re actually giving up on your fucking Ducati

Ilya: if you had seen janes ass you’d understand

Connors: what are you getting instead?

Ilya: Nothing. Jane says I have enough cars and should invest money in more safe investments in case i loose my job and visa

St-Simons: jesus kid

St-Simons: you sure she’s not your wife?

Ilya: soon i will be jane’s husband and you will all be jealous

[mawofthemagnetar]

What do you mean “chat” is now referring to ChatGPT and not twitch chat? What? What? What the fuck? No?

When I address chat I am speaking to a presumed Greek chorus of real human people shitposting on their lunch break, not a machine that devours lakes to covert electricity into slop.

[andhumanslovedstories]

Now that I’m studying bio, may I just say how fervently I wish my primary association with the words “alpha, beta, omega” was literally anything other than what it is

[andhumanslovedstories]

My nutrition professor was talking about vitamins and said, “the only reason you all even know the words alpha and omega is because of sororities,” and I wanted so badly to raise my hand and be like “if you’re gonna be a dick for some reason, please let me explain to you in depth my immediate connotations for those words”

[birdthany]

I’m in training to become a phlebotomist and at my last class we did blood typing and let me tell you when I walked into the lab to see A/B/O written in massive letters on the whiteboard I felt six years come off my lifespan

[realitycheckbounced]

once I used a phrase alpha and omega of something during a lecture and one of the students giggled so hysterically I *knew* and I looked at her and she looked at me, and let me tell you, this was the most profound moment of horror and understanding I have ever shared with another person

[tucsonhorse]

That moment when you recognize someone from the Devil’s Sacrament

[the-haiku-bot]

That moment when you

recognize someone from the

Devil’s Sacrament

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

[damnnmilkovich]

Heated Rivalry + text posts.

[invisibleofdreams]