E. 30s. She/her. Queer. AuDHD.
Finally motivated enough to actually post the fanfics I've been writing for
my own enjoyment. About to get back on my Doctor Who bullshit so be prepared.
Current hyperfixations: 9-1-1, The Old Guard
Forever obsessed with: Doctor Who, Sense8, Terry Pratchett, Tamora Pierce
Rebuilding Burnt Bridges Reading Order - Completed
Proof of Life - 1 Chapter: Tommy learns about his Nonna's death and begins to process his feelings. Read
Plan Meet Enemy - 2 Chapters: Tommy attends his Nonna's funeral and encounters members of his family who want to reconnect. Later, his Aunt Gina reaches out to invite Tommy and Buck to dinner. Read
Slightly Exasperated but Most Assuredly Fond - 4 Chapters: Tommy and Buck have dinner with Aunt Gina who reveals a family secret. Read Chapter One. Read Chapter Two. Read Chapter Three. Read Chapter Four.
Feelings Hurled Like Hand Grenades - 26 Chapters: The Kinard brothers work on reconciling. Read
Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again
He'd been to gay bars before, both on purpose and accidentally. This one was an accident. It looked perfectly normal from the outside. Maybe there was stuff on the walls to indicate what kind of establishment it was, but the light was too low to see. The other patrons were dressed – maybe an excess of leather jackets, but again, the light was low.
It was his second bar of the night. The first one wasn't a vibe at all. Buck was having a nice time, sitting by himself and people watching. When the lack of women started to sink in, it was already too late.
A very handsome older man approached his table and started talking. Buck liked to talk, so that was fine. But then came another. And another. Soon his table was crowded and he wasn't sure who was talking to who. It got overstimulating very fast.
Right before he started to panic, he felt hands on his shoulders. ”Give the kid some air, yeah?” The whole table erupted, but the guy at his back stood firm. Before he knew what was happening, the guy had him by the armpits and pulled him to his feet.
Buck was led to the bar, by firm hands, and deposited on a barstool. ”Hints are a foreign concept to these guys, you gotta be rude about it,” his rescuer said. ”What were you having?”
Buck turned and looked, but his abandoned glass wasn't visible. The guys didn't seem too torn up about him leaving. ”Uh, beer?”
”I'll get you another one,” he said and patted Buck on the back.
”I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened, I– ” He got a good look at the guy who just manhandled him. He didn't look dissimilar to the others. Big guy, a little older, broad in every sense of the term.
”Don't worry about it. Once they smell blood in the water, you're out of luck,” he smiled. ”I'm Tommy.”
”I'm– ” Oh, dear god, he couldn't introduce himself as Buck at a gay bar. ”I'm Evan.”
”Hi, Evan. First time here?”
Buck laughed a little and looked around, before sitting properly at the bar. ”First time,” he nodded.
”New to the lifestyle?” Tommy asked, and pushed a glass into his hands. ”You have that look about you.”
He had to bite his tongue, before his mouth had the chance to ask if he looked gay. ”What– What lifestyle is that?”
Tommy's eyes were twinkling. ”You're in a leather bar, kid.” He pointedly gave Buck an up and down look.
Maybe the lightwash jeans had been a bad choice. He squirmed a little. ”I didn't know.”
”Bring a friend next time. I might not be here to save you from the daddies.”
Instead of turning around, Buck looked at the mirror behind the bar. Daddies. The men looked nice enough, but it was a lot, all at once. Flattering, though.
”You're not a daddy?”
Tommy laughed. ”You got me there.”
”Sounds like I'm not safe with you either,” he grinned.
”I guess that depends – do you want to be?”
Buck gulped half of his beer, before even attempting to answer that.
Tommy interpreted his hesitation as something else. ”They're alright. They wouldn't have hurt you. Most of them have partners at home, they just enjoy the chase.”
Buck licked his lips. ”And you?”
Tommy's glass halted halfway to his mouth. ”Me, what?”
”Why are you here?”
”Beats drinking at home,” he smiled, but it fell short of his eyes.
He didn't know what it was, but something about Tommy made him want to be honest. ”I didn't– I didn't know this was a gay bar,” Buck said. ”I was walking by and it looked nice enough. I didn't come here on purpose.”
Tommy looked at him for a beat. His eyes specifically, which was tough to endure. Tommy's smile went a little tighter.
Buck was desperate to return to the ease of just a moment ago. ”Do– Do you have a partner at home?”
The smile went a little softer. ”If I did, I wouldn't be here.”
”Right.” Buck ducked his head. ”That makes sense.”
”Do you?”
”No,” he sighed – a bit too deep, judging by the height of Tommy's eyebrows. ”My friends keep telling me I need to figure out how to be alone,” he explained. ”Which is stupid, because I've been alone my whole life. I know how to do it.”
Tommy's eyeline shifted from Buck's face, to a distant point behind him. ”Nothing wrong with wanting to have someone.”
It was a bit too maudlin to share with a stranger, but Buck found himself saying, ”I want someone to choose me, you know? And keep choosing me.”
”I do,” Tommy said softly.
”I don't think that's a crazy thing to ask – or to want.”
”It's not.”
Buck moved his glass around on the bar top. He didn't really feel like drinking anymore. ”Is the gay dating scene better than the straight one?”
”God, no,” Tommy grimaced. ”No.”
”So jumping ship would be a bad idea?”
”Well,” Tommy thought on it, then shook his head. ”No, I can't in good conscience recommend dating men.”
Buck laughed. ”Maybe it'd be easier. It's not like I haven't thought about it.”
”…About dating men?”
Buck shrugged. Why wouldn't he have thought about that? ”Being the same gender is a big thing to have in common.”
Tommy looked bewildered. ”I thought you said you were straight?”
”I didn't say it, I implied it.”
”Are you?”
Buck looked at him for a second. His face, then his shoulders, his arms, his hands. Tommy shifted and Buck's eyes fell to his thighs. ”If the answer was yes, I probably shouldn't have hesitated, right?”
”My eyes are up here.”
Buck's eyes snapped up. ”I was looking at your thighs, I promise.”
Tommy giggled. ”That's the gayest fucking thing you could've said.”
Buck's face was burning hot, but he was making Tommy laugh, so it wasn't all bad. ”How are thighs a gay thing?”
Tommy shook his head. ”You are surprisingly comfortable flirting with men.”
Buck looked at the table of daddies. ”I think it's just you.”
It was Tommy's turn to blush. ”Evan, are you leading me on?”
”Leading on implies a lack of follow through.” He bit his lip. It was a nervous thing, but Tommy didn't seem to see it that way.
Tommy put his head in his hand. ”Evan. I can't bring a straight boy home. I'm too old for that.”
An hour ago, he hadn't considered having sex with a man. An hour ago, he hadn't met Tommy.
”We could go to my place?”
Tommy looked at him through his fingers. He closed his eyes for a moment and faced straight ahead. Buck wasn't sure what he was doing, but he didn't want to interrupt. He jumped a little when Tommy's hand clamped down on his thigh.
Tommy leaned into his space and asked, ”And do what?”
Buck went a little breathless. The hand was already high up, but he wanted it higher. ”You're the daddy,” he said. ”Means you're in charge, right?” Tommy's fingers dug into his inner thigh.
”I need you to tell me what you're doing.”
There was barely space between them, but Buck leaned in closer. ”You made me curious.” One of Tommy's eyebrows went up. ”Besides,” he told Tommy's mouth. ”It's not like I haven't been pegged before.”
”Willingly?”
”I asked for it. Begged for it, actually. There was this article I read and I couldn't get it out of my head.”
”And?”
”I liked it more than she did.”
Tommy shook his head. ”Enjoying anal and being into men are two separate things.”
”I'm not talking about men, I'm talking about you.” The hand on his thigh was starting to feel like a tourniquet. There was a small furrow between Tommy's eyebrows. Buck couldn't tell why it was there.
”It's mean to lead an old man on.”
Buck put his hand on top of Tommy's. ”You can't be that much older than me.”
”Don't do this to me.”
”What am I doing to you?” Tommy huffed. ”What am I doing to you, Tommy?” Buck asked again, but lower. Buck wasn't insistent. If someone needed him to convince them, they clearly weren't feeling it – but Tommy's hesitation felt different. ”Come home with me.”
”Evan–”
”I don't know what I'm doing, but I'll try so hard, I promise.”
When Tommy leaned in, Buck knew he was trying to scare him, to call his bluff, but Tommy wasn't the aggressor here. Buck met him more than halfway. Tommy's surprised little mm! was almost drowned out by wolf whistles.
Someone yelled, ”Get it, Kinard!” and Tommy pulled back abruptly. He glared at the guy, but he was flushed all the way down his neck.
”Shut your mouth, Dennis!”
Buck got a hand around the back of Tommy's neck, so he could pull him back in. They weren't done kissing.
one of the biggest tragedies of early 2010s tumblr is that the devil (bbc sherlock) took root as the face of johnlock when the guy ritchie films were RIGHT there
I'm rereading up to where I've written to in Buck in a Second so that I can get back into the voice of this version of Buck and Tommy. I'm making good progress and should be able to start working on the next chapter soon.
I'm just very grateful to past me for writing such a detailed outline of this fic.
I'm sorry I've been so sporadic, anon. I am still working on them, I've just been more burnt out than usual and also dealing with physical and mental health issues so I haven't had as much energy to dedicate to writing fics.
I do still intend to finish everything that I've got in progress though.
Pre-canon BuckTommy werewolf fic Chapter Eleven is up on Ao3!
Read Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten
Tag list is below the cut. Let me know if you want to be added or removed.
Had a 52 hour migraine attack this week but I did finish a chapter of my bucktommy werewolf fic before it hit. Now that I'm on the other side I can edit it and hopefully post either today or tomorrow.
I’m just curious how many people at some point in their lives have played/learned to play an instrument of any kind.
I included a nuance button bc I know there might be some folks who might be like “well I played the recorder in grade school but idk if that counts” — count it if you want or hit nuance if you’re unsure! 😊
To be clear, if you studied an instrument to any level of proficiency, even if you’re out of practice now, please select yes!
Reblog with your instrument, if you wish 🙏🏼 Or just for more accurate results
