Lalajia's random recommendations @lalajia - Tumblr Blog

It is by the cunning of Penelope by which we thwarted. She sends promise to each of us: "my hand for whomever has the cutest butthole in all of Ithaca." Or "my hand to whoever can kiss another of my suitors with tongue most cutely."

cryptotheism

But clever Penelope painted a tunnel upon the wall of her great house, pronouncing there "my hand to whomever can pass through this threshold with greatest swiftness."

targetedknowledge

hometoursandotherstuff

ekjohnston

This feels like it should not be real. But it is real.

alias-milamber

It does remind me of when The Now Show asked its audience for suggestions for the new motto for England, and the winning suggestion was (roughly, I can't find the exact quote):

With dignity, with grace, with chips.

beardedmrbean

artofhitjim

Happy A24 Macbeth Streaming day everyone

IG: @haileytjmclaughlin

Twitter: @haileytjmclaugh

alanaisalive

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

iguanamouth

oh shit

throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight

alanaisalive

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

striving-artist

At time of posting, this is at 711.6k notes

29 Days Remain

going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi

once my friend made a drink he called turpentine that tasted like every worst college night out rolled into one and felt like getting whacked in the head with a hammer, and I woke up in my own apartment with my phone wallet keys clothes and absolutely zero memory of the night before, and when I checked my watch I'd walked over 60k steps.

going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi

60k steps in the middle of the night in heels for reasons entirely unknown to me. what was I doing. where did I go. where did I come from. cotton eye joe. or whatever.

going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi

people are theorizing what happened so here's what I know:

the club we went to closed at 2am and 45kish steps were after 2am, meaning I wasn't still dancing at the club. we got there at 11:30pm. I don't know when we left.

none of us had any charges on our cards or venmos after getting into the club and none of us were missing cash

we all woke up with all our things and no injuries except some bruises (to be expected from a night out)

I woke up smelling like salt water which would make me think I'd ended up in the ocean(??) except my hair was still straight, none of my things were water damaged, and I was completely dry

from our camera rolls we know we were all together until around 4am, but not where we were because they're all too dark to see, which is fucking weird because we live in a city with tons of lights all night

I didn't wake my roommates up when coming home, managed to take out my contacts, cooked mac n cheese, and passed out on the living room floor

me and everyone else who'd been wearing heels had crazy blisters

my friend found a bunch of rocks in his pockets

two of my guy friends were wearing each other's shirts when they woke up (in their separate apartments)

we all got back to our apartments around 6am which we know for a fact because we all texted pictures of ourselves being home safe to the group chat, so being unbelievably hammered didn't stop us from having enough common sense to make sure we were all okay

if we'd been able to sherlock holmes together what happened it'd just be a funny night out but the fact we all have no fucking clue means we have conspiracy theories about it. and we don't let my friend make turpentine anymore.

crazyneutral

OP went dancing with the 12 dancing princesses pass it on

going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi

everyone go home this guy solved it

trcunning

@professorsparklepants

violentoffender

redfagdiver

I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna b

astoldbyidiots

sacredwhores

Christina Hornisher - Hollywood 90028 (1973)

anarchistmemedistro

stupidpetface

naamahdarling

Opposite energy of the TWAS I WHO SET THE HOUSE ABLAZE cat.

k-simplex-deactivated20241001

xocowilde

Visual reference of the TWAS I WHO SET THE HOUSE ABLAZE cat, because I love it

immortalbeingz

blood-orange-juice-deactivated2

daphneorsmthng

heyitsmeisa-blog

americana-plus

jamr0ll:

This never stops being hilarious

thelibrarina

Do you love the color of the–

HONK

glamdamnit

My sister asked if the events of “The Labyrinth” are meant to be Sarah dreaming, or are they real? Although my primary reaction was that she shouldn’t put that much thought into any children’s movie (or any instance of David Bowie in tight pants), I’d like to take this opportunity to put so much thought into this children’s movie, that it’ll blow your mind.

So why is David Bowie kidnapping a child from an underage Jennifer Connelley?

In a time long long ago a sorcerer named Jareth fell in love with a girl named Sarah. Sarah’s father and step-mother would not let her marry Jareth because they wanted her to keep her, as a servant, to care for their other child. In a fit of rage Jareth kidnapped this other child and spirited it away to the fairy world. In this new world Jareth built a palace for his Sarah. He turned the spoiled child into a goblin, and kept it to be a servant.

Many stories of the fairy world tell us that time moves differently there than in our world (Rip Van Winkle for one). In the time it took for Jareth to build his kingdom, which he may have thought was little more than a few years, Sarah grew old and died.

Overcome by grief and addled by a lifetime spent in a strange world filled with monsters, Jareth goes mad. He refuses to believe that he has lost his love. He searches the mortal world from his castle, looking for her.

Sarah is Hebrew name. So, it is common, and has been in use for thousands and thousands of years. It does not take long (for him) to find a dark haired girl named Sarah, who has a younger sibling, and who feels that she is treated unfairly by her step mother. In a fit of rage he kidnaps this other child and spirits it away to the fairy world. Perhaps this new Sarah dies in the quest to find the child, perhaps she wins her sibling back and flees.

Jareth searches the mortal world from his from his castle, looking for her. It does not take long to find a dark haired girl named Sarah…

This is how Jareth becomes the goblin king. Every goblin in the goblin city is a child Jareth has stolen, who was not recovered by a Sarah. (he told the current Sarah that Toby would become a goblin if she did not find him in time)

This is why he builds the maze. The magic bog, the junk yard of useless treasures, all tricks to slow Sarah down. Because if he can only have his Sarah for the time it takes for her to regain the stolen child, he will make it take as long as possible, keep her as long as possible.

This is why there exists in our world a book containing the story. Because it has happened before. So many times. At some point some lucky Sarah must have returned to our world to tell the story.

This is why when the most recent Sarah first meets Hoggle at the start of the labyrinth, and introduces herself; “I’m Sarah”, Hoggle responds “That’s what I figured.”

Because of course she’s Sarah.

They were all Sarah.