Pretentious Title

I'm like a goddamn philosopher king here. Pronouns: he/his Remember me, for I shall not.

[freakxwannaxbe]

absolutely losing it at these patch notes for The Town of Nowhere

[stealingpotatoes]

happy ides of march i 3D modelled Caesar so i could make him do fortnite dances

[thesanityclause]

this is art, this is why we make art

[shreekofjoy]

You've been hit by 🔪

You've been struck by🔪

A mad senator! 🔪

[conarcoin]

neopets forum posts i reference all the time but nobody gets

[conarcoin]

here are some more really good neoboards screenshots

[hellyesbro]

how could you forget

[reddherring777]

me: yeah, so one of your most famous works is actually just that commission of a woman that you kept. Honestly, it's less of the piece itself that lead to its fame and more the mystery surrounding it, so I was hoping you could clear that up the decayed corpse of Leonardo Da Vinci that I resurrected: Hai detto che hanno chiamato una tartaruga che combatte il crimine con il mio nome?

[metal-autistic-coven]

Hang on let me translate something real quick

[metal-autistic-coven]

Yeah this is funny

[reddherring777]

[beesmygod]

If you had the chance to permit the building an elaborate High Speed Train system that linked every Major city together, but you knew that doing so would increase the amount of real life Train Murder Mysteries by 300%, would you still do it?

small price to pay for my personal convenience

[playinghardtolistento]

there were 2 passenger deaths and 8 employee deaths on trains in the whole of 2024 according to the national safety council

if we assume that Train Murder Mysteries applies solely to train passengers or employees then a 300% increase would range from "still zero" to "30 people per year"

meanwhile, studies suggest that increased public transit can cut traffic fatalities in half, so even if we only consider the ten interstate highways with the highest fatality rates (2,260 deaths in 2020), beesmygod would be saving on net approximately 1,100 lives per year, though that could go much higher depending on the extent of the rail network thank you beesmygod, your personal convenience has made you a national hero

[beesmygod]

[ryflezia]

[monchursouls]

🌾🌾🌾

Harvesting my wheat

[rat-in-the-grain]

Hehehehehe

[monchursouls]

Can I fucking help you?

[sasuke-offical]

my senior english teacher told me that any scene with a woman in a cornfield in every piece of literature ever is about her journey to womanhood/pleasuring herself in the field and i just.... believed her

[monchursouls]

What

[rat-in-the-grain]

What

[watchpoob]

poob will be the new pdf

[watchpoob]

poob will be the new adobe animate

[watchpoob]

poob will be the new tumblr servers

[watchpoob]

poob will be the new discord

[parkchanwoohoo]

“In 1404, King Taejong fell from his horse during a hunting expedition. Embarrassed, looking to his left and right, he commanded, “Do not let the historian find out about this.” To his disappointment, the historian accompanying the hunting party included these words in the annals, in addition to a description of the king’s fall.“

LMFAOOOOOO rip to that guy

[shitacademicswrite]

i thought maybe this was fake, but there’s even a citation!

Taejong Sillok Book 7. 5th year of King Taejong’s Reign (1404), February 8.

[delphinidin4]

Happy 618th anniversary of the day King Taejong fell from his horse!

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

Apparently the recorders were really intense about this. We have a record of King Taejong complaining about a recorder who followed him on a hunt in disguise and another who eavesdropped on him behind a screen. No one was allowed to see the records, even the king (one king did and killed five men based on what was written there, after which they took greater care to ensure it would never happen again), and changing the content or disclosing it was a capital punishment. Even when there were rival political factions trying to influence the writers, they wrote down what was a revision and what wasn’t and kept an original version with no revisions in it.

They also made sure to back up their data. They made four copies of it, then when three copies were lost in the Imrim Wars they decided to make five more copies just in case. One copy was destroyed in a rebellion, another was partially damaged in an invasion, and Japan stole one copy during their occupation and moved it to Tokyo University, where it was mostly destroyed in the Kanto Earthquake (47 books remained and were returned to South Korea in 2006). Now the whole thing is digitized, free on the internet, and translated into modern Korean for all to see.

It took centuries of meticulous recorders, justifiably paranoid copiers, absolutely determined historians, and painstaking infrastructure for this joke to be possible. Happy 618th anniversary to the day King Taejong fell from his horse.

[anonymous-ivplay]

Happy 619th anniversary to the day King Taejong fell from his horse!

[bunjywunjy]

happy 620th anniversary of the day a king fell off his horse everybody

[flyingscanian]

happy 621st anniversayr of the day a king fell of his horse

[sercorgi]

happy 621st anniversary of the day King Taejong of the Joseon Dynasty fell off his horse

[throughtimeandstarlight]

[charlesoberonn]

This post goes around Tumblr every year, and it’s always true. There’s never been an uneventful or boring January.

[randomthunk]

most foreboding time stamp

[unyieldingsilence]

black friday is stupid why isn't there like. purple tuesday

[unyieldingsilence]

WRONG BLOG

[kagaintheskywithdiamonds]

THE SILENCE HAS YIELDED

[bees-with-swords]

"Do you ever dream of land?" The whale asks the tuna.

"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"

"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."

"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."

"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.

"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."

"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."

"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.

"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.

"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."

"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."

"You forget," says the salmon, "That the oceans were once their home."

[hearnoweevil]

Last year I finally had an excuse to illustrate this simple little Tumblr story I've had bookmarked forever for class.

I hope you like it :]

[headspace-hotel]

it is so fucking sad to find a cool fanartist on here and then see that their last post was from like 2018 and they were announcing that they were moving to Twitter.

It's like being a space colonist and finding a little abandoned space cottage and there's a diary in it and the last entry is like "i have now gone to seek a better life on [name of planet that got overtaken by axe-wielding octopi that feed on human blood]"

[t00thpasteface]

nothing online is ever truly deleted. except that one fucking thing you're looking for

[rylandsgrace]

#Merry crisis

[littleluciddreamer-blog]

Reblog if you're hoping 2011 will be a fresh start.