one step ahead.

[stevenrogered]

it’s almost that time of the year again, so you know what that means

[gaynfl-moved]

[fullmetalfisting]

You know, that’s fair

[sweetsicks]

[Extends my fist out to you. Something is enclosed within my hand] :)

[sweetsicks]

[Opens my palm]

[sweetsicks]

[kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd]

[chipsprites]

thank you

[xenosmorch]

[greglestrade]

some customers: oh my god i’m so sorry i have to ask you a question i feel so foolish for not knowing this already please help me but i’m so sorry forgive me other customers: answer this question before i’ve even asked it or i’ll kill you where you stand 

[kai-ni]

#1 has worked in retail

#2 hasn’t

[urbanxdivinity]

What pleases u in bed?

sleep

[thebootydiaries]

me: *grabbing seaweed out of the ocean with my bare hands to impress cute girls on the beach*

girl 1: oh my god, that guy is grabbing seaweed out of the ocean with his bare hands

girl 2: really?? is he crying??

girl 1: only a little bit

girl 2: wow thats hot

[ravensloane]

god put me on this world and said “let this dumbass roam”

[readmyquiet]

The 11:59 pm deadline ain't no joke in college.

[nubiana-americana-deactivated20]

listen to me. look me in the eyes. that blackboard link will close on your procrastinating ass

[pdlcomics]

Do it, Turtle

[laur-nado]

[woodmeat]

Please brain

Can i have some serotonin??

[d-e-l-ete-d-deactivated20181014]

My brain:

[automodownremade-deactivated202]

reblog to add +10 haunting power to your ghost when you die

[jokesarefunny]

i aint risking being a weak ass ghost

[stephendann]

Reblog for a +2 to visibility to cats when nothing else can see you

[twitterlols]

[paprika]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

what's a salmonella

god nerfing cookie dough

[linda-belcher]

[susandotcom-deactivated20210224]

ladies? i have GOT to ask. what is going on